I'm 40 years old today. Feels strange.. and getting older as a developer is not an advantage at all. But I got a wonderful little baby, a wife and a job I (almost always) like! So happy birthday to me 😊

why programmers like cooking: you peel the carrot, you chop the carrot, you put the carrot in the stew. You don't suddenly find out that your peeler is several versions behind and they dropped support for carrots in 4.3

Finally they arrived!!
My first sticker ever 😅
Seems a bit lonely though

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password? Because it's not stroganoff.

I feel like making a slack integration tool that tells bad coworkers and managers to buzz off.

They message "hey" automatically send a link explaining why that's dumb and wastes time.

They message "do you have x minutes?" Automatically send a link showing them how to use Google calendar.

They message you "I need a status update on x", automatically send them a link to a tutorial on how to use jira.

Add in custom regex, custom links, and people filters, and you've got a stew going!

Is your code green?

I've been thinking a lot about this for the past year. There was recently an article on this on slashdot.

I like optimising things to a reasonable degree and avoid bloat. What are some signs of code that isn't green?

* Use of technology that says its fast without real expert review and measurement. Lots of tech out their claims to be fast but actually isn't or is doing so by saturation resources while being inefficient.
* It uses caching. Many might find that counter intuitive. In technology it is surprisingly common to see people scale or cache rather than directly fixing the thing that's watt expensive which is compounded when the cache has weak coverage.
* It uses scaling. Originally scaling was a last resort. The reason is simple, it introduces excessive complexity. Today it's common to see people scale things rather than make them efficient. You end up needing ten instances when a bit of skill could bring you down to one which could scale as well but likely wont need to.
* It uses a non-trivial framework. Frameworks are rarely fast. Most will fall in the range of ten to a thousand times slower in terms of CPU usage. Memory bloat may also force the need for more instances. Frameworks written on already slow high level languages may be especially bad.
* Lacks optimisations for obvious bottlenecks.
* It runs slowly.
* It lacks even basic resource usage measurement.

Unfortunately smells are not enough on their own but are a start. Real measurement and expert review is always the only way to get an idea of if your code is reasonably green.

I find it not uncommon to see things require tens to hundreds to thousands of resources than needed if not more.

In terms of cycles that can be the difference between needing a single core and a thousand cores.

This is common in the industry but it's not because people didn't write everything in assembly. It's usually leaning toward the extreme opposite.

Optimisations are often easy and don't require writing code in binary. In fact the resulting code is often simpler. Excess complexity and inefficient code tend to go hand in hand. Sometimes a code cleaning service is all you need to enhance your green.

I once rewrote a data parsing library that had to parse a hundred MB and was a performance hotspot into C from an interpreted language. I measured it and the results were good. It had been optimised as much as possible in the interpreted version but way still 50 times faster minimum in C.

I recently stumbled upon someone's attempt to do the same and I was able to optimise the interpreted version in five minutes to be twice as fast as the C++ version.

I see opportunity to optimise everywhere in software. A billion KG CO2 could be saved easy if a few green code shops popped up. It's also often a net win. Faster software, lower costs, lower management burden... I'm thinking of starting a consultancy.

The problem is after witnessing the likes of Greta Thunberg then if that's what the next generation has in store then as far as I'm concerned the world can fucking burn and her generation along with it.

Don’t use “beef stew” as a computer password. It’s not stroganoff.😅

VR/AR - inferior interaction with the computer, just like touchscreen are inferior to physical buttons
Microservices - having a stew of different coding standards will in the end introduce performance issues due to layers needed to reduce code entropy
Agile - programming was and always will be creation on existing technologies. Every library writer who follows Agile is making a hellhole for anyone above the layer of abstraction
Web freedom and Anonymity - At this point it should be obvious already, this fad took 30 years too long

I have just learnt that you can label for statements and break them in an inside loop

Wakanda crazy crap is this?

fyi here is an example:```js
outerLoop:for(let i = 0; i<5; i++){
for(let j=0; j<5; j++){
console.log(i*j);
if(i*j === 8) { break outerLoop;}
}
}
```
Why do we even set a label with a colon, why?

Not necessarily a work related rant but fuck me for choosing me become a developer…
I’ve basically become the go-to tech support for senior family members who can’t bother to even remember their e-mail password.
And the excuse “Oh that wasn’t around when I was your age” is a bullshit at best.
You didn’t fall asleep in the 80s and magically wake up when Gmail was launched.
I’ve legit had to go through a maze of 30 different e-mails and reset the password on all of them just to get fucking OneDrive working so that I could see a dumb picture of fish stew my dad made.
Fml.