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*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song14 -
My boyfriend.
He's an amazing software developer, has a few more years of experience with me, and because he's not a colleague, I feel comfortable asking him dumb questions. Combined with his patience and willingness to explain things very thoroughly, it's helped my post college learning immensely.
I love that I can cook him dinner, and then go to him with a code smell that I found at work, and spend the meal discussing ways to make cleaner code. I'm not sure who the real winner is in that situation. Probably my employer, haha.23 -
"I'm not paying for a website that's going to be free to visit, that doesn't make sense"
-A million $ idea guy
28 -
Had to explain the difference between front and backend.
Restaurant:
Waiter == frontend
Cook == backend14 -
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.20 -
That moment when you make your code such that even dummies can understand it, implement smart ass algos, do all those comment line things for definitions. Then you show your project to your teacher who has this to say :
"Why are you showing me copied code?"
I am like
10 -
IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE DRUGS:
JavaScript = Methamphetamine:
Anyone can cook some up at home but only pros can make the good stuff without blowing everything up.
Under the influence it tries to do everything at once, in seemingly no specific order before running off and making plenty of promises - but you have no clue if it kept any until it returns.
C = Heroin:
It takes some prep before you can take a hit but when you do it's far more potent than expected. When prepped (compiled) correctly it will induce complete and utter ecstasy but any error or abuse may kill you, leave you on the floor, in a coma or wishing you were dead.
HTML = Paracetamol(Panado):
Some don't think it's a real drug and others do. Either way you should grow a pair and try something a little more hardcore.
--------------------------------------
I came up with these after I randomly explained asynchronous js to a junior as synchronous code on meth. These were just off the top of my head, please feel free to correct or expand on them :-)25 -
When people say: "All you do is sit in front of your PC doing stuff. Get a life"
Me: This is my life!5 -
/*
It's a pretty long rant. Hope you didn't get bored :P
*/
So I have this friend of mine who has learnt Python at good level (that's what he says) and is with me in all classes in college. I have worked with C, C++, C# and Java only and hated Python when it was taught (wk44).
So the following happened in the last 2 weeks:
Once he wrote a Python function in terminal just returning a hard coded string (lame right) and will show me how cool is it and that it is sooo much easier.
Whenever we do a mini project together he will force that we use Python. Even in Image processing when everyone is ready to work on Matlab, he insists that Python would be a better option.
We asked that this XYZ is very easy to implement on Matlab.
We then had to listen about the large and great community of Python and that it has Libraries for everything and that it is the greatest programming language ever.
One day he saw my C# project for DFA and NFA simulation which was the greatest project I have "completed" myself, and went like "Hmph, if I was you, I would use python and make a more "professional" code" (then went on arguing as always)
This happened today in Networking lab-
(Sockets was taught and we are expected to learn its programming aspects)
All students: Open linuxhowtos.org and start reading on socket programming
He : Opens some websites and downloads books on Networking with Python or someting
Now while I am reading the documentation of sockets and bind, he opens spider IDE, copy-paste the code in the book and start bugging ME that he is getting all these errors like literally showing me those errors and whining about all those problems.
Me: We are supposed to learn this in C. Here take a look at this link.
HE: No I'll use Python cuz it is better than your C. It has libraries for everything and is much easier.
Me: Alright whatever I am fed up, do whatever you want11 -
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the universe is winning."
-Rick Cook2 -
why programmers like cooking: you peel the carrot, you chop the carrot, you put the carrot in the stew. You don't suddenly find out that your peeler is several versions behind and they dropped support for carrots in 4.31
-
Recipe for a Great Programmer:
Ingredients:
-Books for a computer science curriculum from a top university
-Computer
-Headphones
-Internet
-Stress ball
-Pillow
-Lighter fluid
-Food
Directions:
1. Cover computer science books with lighter fluid
2. Light books on fire
3. Use flames to cook an energy-rich meal for the thousands of hours ahead
4. Pick an IDE
5. Choose a project beyond current capabilities. Good ways to push boundaries:
- Unfamiliar domain (e.g. large scale data processing, UI programming, high performance computing, games)
- Exotic programming language
- Larger in scope than any project before
6. Shut up about your IDE
7. Attempt to build
8. Stop procrastinating on Hacker News
9. Re-attempt to build
10. Squeeze stress ball and scream into pillow as necessary to keep sanity
When stuck:
- Paste stack traces into Google
- Find appropriate mailing list to get guidance
- Realize that real learning happens when you are stuck, uncomfortable, and/or frustrated
- Seek out books, classes, or other resources AFTER you have a good understanding of your deficiencies
11. Repeat #4 to #10 for at least 10 years
12. Results guaranteed! (to the same extent static types guarantee bug-free programs)
source: nathanmarz.com4 -
There are times when being "friendly neighbor it guy" pays back.
I have a neighbors, their son is little less intelligent than average person after being injured in accident, I help them from time to time. He gets the pc trashed with adware, usual stuff, they ask me to clean it up.
Recently I broke my arm. They offered to cook for me until I recover to full health... Seriously, that's huge help when you live alone and spend most time working. I'm glad to have them.
Wanted to share with you guys, there are people who appreciate your help with their pc and can give back if you're in need.3 -
I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye39
-
My wife asked me to clean, cook and watch the child.
When she returned home she started screaming hysterically and cry.
Who understands women...9 -
Now I lay me down to rest,
I pray I pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take.6 -
Today when showing a game that I made:
X: So you used Unity, it's so easy
Me: Yeah I mean compared to....
X: Thus since you used a game engine, I can't say your game was completly developed by you.
Me: So you are saying that since a builder didn't make bricks thus he can't claim credits on the building he made?13 -
So there it fucking goes.
Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.
All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.
Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.
I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and
BAM
Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.
Fuck,
Fuck this,
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.26 -
When I'm at work, can't wait to go home and work on my personal projects.
When I'm home I cook, I eat then I'm too tired to do anything except watching Netflix on the couch.
Then I go to bed frustrated for not having actually done anything I really like.
Am I the only one?
Is there any escape from this?17 -
Watching a cookery program and it made me think it must be hard being a chef.
Then it made me think that being a web developer is a bit like cooking.
You have your ready meal equivalent with WordPress and Wix.
You have your cook at home kits with front-end frameworks like bootstrap and foundation.
You have your recipes and ingredients with package managers like npm and JavaScript modules.
Then you have your own home made cooking using vanilla js, CSS and HTML made to your own liking.
Just like being a good chef, being a good web developer is about knowing what ingredients and methods to include, but also what to leave out, to get the best result!5 -
Cook A:
1 - Makes a soup
2 - Leaves a mess
Company: ☺️ What a nice cook, here's your promotion to senior Cook.
Cook B:
1 - Cleans kitchen
2 - Makes soup
3 - Cleans after themself
Company: 😡 What took you so long!? Cook A made it in 1/3 of the time.
This is the pattern I've seen so far in development... and it's sad
20 -
Do the 'best' programmers use fewest lines of code?
The best programmers write the appropriate number of lines of code. No more, no less.10 -
That moment when your password is constantly rejected and you realize that the fucking NUM LOCK IS OFF.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
(⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─ 💻6 -
!dev
!!misery
I'm drunk, so it's time for some faux-emotional, blunt oversharing. and lots of profanity. It won't be pretty.
------
I'm miserable. I can't sleep at night. When I finally manage to, I sleep like crap. In the morning, early, I get woken up by my children screaming or pulling my hair or jumping on either the bed or me, or talking ad furore, or any number of other miserably unpleasant things that completely prevent sleep. So I'm tired every single day, which totally surprisingly makes focusing on work fucking difficult. Doubly so because the work is fucking uninteresting and the code is awful to read and difficult to understand because it's complicated and often poorly written. And extending it takes enormous mental effort I simply do not have to give. Oh! Guess what my job is?
To make matters worse, time to myself basically does not exist, ever. I wake up, I attend standup, I cook and eat breakfast, I work while fighting against endless distractions and interruptions, I cook and eat dinner, I work some more, and finally: I can go to bed and try to sleep. The next morning, I wake up and repeat this misery, ad nauseam.
Et ad nauseam? Nauseam est nunc.
It's not proper latin, but fuck you. it's good enough. and nobody speaks it anyway.
Ego sum miseriae. Is that good enough for you?
I can't find it in myself to care about anything. I've been doing whatever I can to feel a little more normal, but mostly I just feel numb. If I drink, it helps a little because I notice my misery a little less. That's a great solution right there: drink until I don't care anymore, and keep doing the same shit without even trying to make things better. Why? Because I fucking can't. I hate this house, I hate the lack of quiet, I hate this city, I hate the dust and the clutter, I hate this state, I hate this codebase, I don't like my coworkers, I hate that I can't get a fucking thing done without spending 6x longer than it should, I hate that I can't fucking think of a single thing I want to do, I hate that I can't ever enjoy anything, I hate that I'm beginning to hate myself, and I fucking hate everything else, too.
In short:
I'm not happy. I'm fucking miserable.
And no, I'm not posting this here for you to psychoanalyze me or suggest solutions. It's for me to vent. Fuck your opinions and fuck your advice and fuck you.29 -
At the data restaurant:
Chef: Our freezer is broken and our pots and pans are rusty. We need to refactor our kitchen.
Manager: Bring me a detailed plan on why we need each equipment, what can we do with each, three price estimates for each item from different vendors, a business case for the technical activities required and an extremely detailed timeline. Oh, and do not stop doing your job while doing all this paperwork.
Chef: ...
Boss: ...
Some time later a customer gets to the restaurant.
Waiter: This VIP wants a burguer.
Boss: Go make the burger!
Chef: Our frying pan is rusty and we do not have most of the ingredients. I told you we need to refactor our kitchen. And that I cannot work while doing that mountain of paperwork you wanted!
Boss: Let's do it like this, fix the tech mumbo jumbo just enough to make this VIP's burguer. Then we can talk about the rest.
The chef then runs to the grocery store and back and prepares to make a health hazard hurried burguer with a rusty pan.
Waiter: We got six more clients waiting.
Boss: They are hungry! Stop whatever useless nonsense you were doing and cook their requests!
Cook: Stop cooking the order of the client who got here first?
Boss: The others are urgent!
Cook: This one had said so as well, but fine. What do they want?
Waiter: Two more burgers, a new kind of modern gaseous dessert, two whole chickens and an eleven seat sofa.
Chef: Why would they even ask for a sofa?!? We are a restaurant!
Boss: They don't care about your Linux techno bullshit! They just want their orders!
Cook: Their orders make no sense!
Boss: You know nothing about the client's needs!
Cook: ...
Boss: ...
That is how I feel every time I have to deal with a boss who can't tell a PostgreSQL database from a robots.txt file.
Or everytime someone assumes we have a pristine SQL table with every single column imaginable.
Or that a couple hundred terabytes of cold storage data must be scanned entirely in a fraction of a second on a shoestring budget.
Or that years of never stored historical data can be retrieved from the limbo.
Or when I'm told that refactoring has no ROI.
Fuck data stack cluelessness.
Fuck clients that lack of basic logical skills.5 -
> In office for first time in awhile
> Run into group of 4 people I don’t recognize in far cubicle corning laughing in hushed voices eating of an impressive spread of food
> See me and immediately look at each other with panicked expressions
> Confused, I put my hands up to indicate I come in peace
> They relax a little and say they thought I was from HR since they didn’t recognize me
> Ask why HR seeing them would be such a big deal
> They say their potluck is not “sanctioned”
> …?
So apparently HR just could resist ruining one of the only good things about coming into the office and one of the coolest things about the company’s culture. At least once a month there would be a giant potluck where everyone would bring some home cooked dish and share it. I can’t tell you how amazing these are in Canada, 50+ plates of authentic food from all over the world.
Unfortunately HR didn’t agree as 1. They didn’t cook so felt bad taking food. 2. Nobody asked them permission to put on these events they just happened organically. 3. Some people were bringing in food that they felt was culturally inappropriate (ie. caucasian guy bringing in homemade sushi).
HR recently banned all “unsanctioned” potlucks and all future potlucks needed to be approved through them with the following stipulations. 1. You could participate without bringing something by donating to HR $10 2. If you brought something you still had to give HR $10. 3. Things you brought in had to be approved by HR
Naturally the first and only potluck under these rules only 4 people brought something in as many couldn’t get their dishes approved because HR didn’t like what they were planning to bring (started out as being because culture and turned into HR just being picky), most just brought $10 so there wasn’t enough food to go around and so after HR took a giant group photo to post on the company’s social media accounts to show off how good the company’s culture is most everyone had to go out for lunch. HR sent out an email later that day exclaiming what a huge success for charity and the company brand the potluck was and they can’t wait for the next one. (I have the HR communications email marked as spam so I never saw the email). Nobody ever organized a sanctioned potluck after that.
However people still missed cooking and sharing their favourite recipes with one another so potlucks still occur but they are now very small, secret, invite-only, hush-hush affairs.
…What in the ever loving fuck22 -
Tomorrow is the office chili cook off. This chili has too much beer in it. But it's still good!
It's spicy too. It could cause one to overheat. I will call it Hewlett-Packard chili.
9 -
So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.
Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.
Guess what.
Its 49.8 -
How many devranters here cook? Post your latest creation!
Pic related, chicken pie I helped make with my girlfriend.
31 -
Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"
Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....6 -
Best part of working from home? Oh boy, here I go
1. NO COMMUTE !! Fuck public transport. I can just grab my laptop straight to my bed, get comfortable and work in whatever posture I wish to.
2. Relaxation and peace of mind. The local park, library, football ground. I can go anywhere to get work done. All I need is my phone and laptop.
3. Better food - I can cook my own food. Dieting actually works by eating home-made food and not the fried bullshit we eat outside.
4. No office politics - Remote working means you don't have to think about being a circle and getting liked or not. Get your work done and that's it.
5. No "Extra" Activities - We all know HRs are just bored af people making employees have "fun" activities just to push a "culture" agenda on LinkedIn. Umm no thanks.
6. No toxicity - Well, this one is a doozie, you don't get workplace toxicity but you do get home toxicity. People assuming that you stay in ur room all day and do nothing. I'd still take home toxicity though.
7. If there is no work, I don't have to pretend that I am working and hiding my screen from my boss. I can just play video games in that time.
8. Option to start a side-hustle. You have more chances to retain some energy after your shift to start investing/putting time into something that can make you extra cash.
9. Worldwide opportunities - Because of WFH, I work with clients from Netherlands, Estonia, London and Cayman Islands. It never would have happened if I was in an office job.
10. Only work, no extra bullshit - be it smoke breaks, casual tea, conferences, work summits etc. None of that and I don't want it.
11. Your errands get done - Need to go to the dentist at 10 am? You can do that. Need to pick up your kid at 3 pm? You can do that. You need 5 pm time dedicated to go the gym? You can do that.
In conclusion, I absolutely vouch for WFH and would never take WFO for as long as possible.
WFH FTW !!!9 -
I met my girlfriend via online dating and she is often checking out recipes on social media, so I came up with the idea to combine cooking and Tinder as a tiny side project.
I built an app that lets you swipe recipes to add them to your cookbook and called it "Daily Cook" and it is available on both Android and iOS. :)
13 -
Fuck off cancerous piece of shit on stackoverflow whose dick is an obvious inverse proposition to ego and incapablility to read.
I asked if there's "clean" way, of doing something. I provided my solution to the problem
Your answer and coments make it pretty obvious that you:
* don't really care about (code) quality
* value your reputation just as much as some teen on facebook sucking cook for likes or whatever they use now
* downvoted my question because you can't handle critique in the slightest
* You immediately replied with "but op said..." even though I am the fucking op and if I say _imo_ a fucking for-loop within function is less readable than 3 chained function-calls it and does not include the feature I asked for, it means you have to justify your answer and not get triggered and downvote my fucking question.
After I confronted him about this shit he just said "If you had studied the language for more than 10 minutes you would have known than you can't do that."
And if you had some a basic reading skill you could improve my workaround or tell me just that, instead of providing me with that useless information you vomited out just to get some ez SO reputation.
Piece of shit didn't even deny the anyyhing.
Shove a vibrator up your ass until it arrives at your skull and activate it. Maybe that will stimulate your brain or hopefully upgrade it.
I don't care how much "reputition" you may have "earned" on the internet. I am not afraid to call your bullshit or your sheer pathetic existence out.
People like this are are the reason SO gets so much hsge and even tough I got an improved version for my workaround (from an other user), I'm nowhere near happiness.
Note, the Useful-to-retarded-ratio is
1: 38 -
Had the Windows Insider Preview for a month or so to get Ubuntu Subsystem early back when it was Insider-only.
Turns out that your license policy changes when you use Preview builds: if your PC isn't updated to a certain build by checkpoints set throughout the year, your license expires and you have to reinstall Windows. No way to recover anything already on the device. So if you get Insider Preview and shut your laptop off for too long...
Thus began a killer combo attack on my Surface Pro 3.
While trying to figure out what was going on and loading up a recovery on a flash drive, the Surface Pro 3 BIOS was sitting idle behind me. On 100% CPU. The only reason I think this is that by the time I noticed the insane fan noise, the screen was hot enough to burn my finger as I tried to turn it off. The heat sensor triggered it to shut off before I could, though.
That heat sensor, however, won't turn it off if it's busy installing Windows, supposedly to keep anything from getting hopelessly corrupted. What followed we're 3 hours of fan whirring from a slab of metal hot enough to cook an egg with.
Windows is back and working. The battery indicator, however, melted during reinstallation. And the battery lasts an hour, max. Thankfully I'm not out of a tablet, but it seems to me that W10 is becoming more and more like malware, just waiting for you to activate one of it's delightful payloads.4 -
Me: "I really love cooking, it's my hobby"
They: "Would you cook for fifty people, sometimes"
Me:"... maybee"
*hired*3 -
A memorial for my favorite rant of all time "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.21 -
I feel guilty when I spend time after work writing code, because there's that voice in the back of my head saying I should switch to leisure activities. "You've worked enough, don't sit all day, it's unhealthy".
Then I go for a walk or start planning something to cook. And there's still this weird feeling of guilt for not being productive enough, telling me I should learn a new programming language. "Work on your skills, you need to learn stuff to stay relevant in your field"
BRAIN, BE FUCKING CONTENT WITH WHAT I'M DOING FOR ONCE!
And stop fucking bullshitting me.
You're not trying to make me take a walk, you're not having my best interests at heart by making me learn or work.
I'm fucking on to you, you treacherous shitlitter of neurons. You're betraying me, and it happens every single fucking time I let my guard down.
I alt-tab out of my IDE, and within seconds you're there, impeding my intellect, making me click bookmarks to check the feculent streams spraying from the fingers of "friends" on Facebook.
I take a poop, and you just let me slide into a slowwitted state where I pick up my phone and stare at some crapfilled mire of memes.
You're the retarded digital-era id, wearing the disguise of a renaissance smart-ass ego, and you're dumping the fucking guilt on ME?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR MEMES, I'M GONNA BAKE A STEAK WITH MUSHROOM SAUCE AND WATCH PROGRAMMING VIDEOS WHILE DANCING.
NAKED.
(and maybe browse devRant later. I still love you, devRant)5 -
I've just disassembled this LED floodlight that I bought a while ago. It's some stupid little cheapie from a dollar store, so I figured that there'd be shit inside. But I wanted that LED cob.. a power LED :3
Well, shit wasn't too far off from the truth. The component choice is reasonable, but the design of the bloody thing.. batshit insane. The LED floodlight is powered by 4 AAA batteries, connected in series. So 6VDC. That then goes into this little tactile pushbutton, into the LED cob and then a 4.7 ohm resistor.
Well that's a pretty easy circuit.. let's remove the batteries and the casement, and put it on the lab bench power supply. Probes connected to the circuit with only the resistor and the LED cob in between (I didn't want to deal with the switch). Power supply set to 6V, current limiting to 500mA, contact!! And it works, amazing! So I let it run for a while to see that nothing gets too hot.. hah. After a minute or so, smoke would come out.. LED cob was a bit warm to the touch but nothing too bad. But the resistor.. I could cook water on it if I wanted to! 100 fucking °C, and rising. What the F yo?!
So I figured that I didn't want to put the resistor in between there. Just the LED cob now, which apparently has a forward voltage somewhere between 3.2V and 3.3V depending on how I set the current (500mA and 600mA respectively). Needed a bigger heatsink though, so I jammed one of my aluminium heatsinks on there. And it worked great! Very bright too, as it takes between 1.6 and 2W of power. Just for a comparison, the lighting in my living room is 4x5W and the ones on top of my dining table are 2x3W (along with some TL bar that my landlord put there.. fluorescent I think). So yeah, 2W is quite a lot for an LED, especially when it's all concentrated into one tiny spot.
That said, back to the original design with the resistor. 2 questions I have for that moron that designed this crap. First, why use a resistor for a power LED?! They needlessly waste power, and aren't good choices for anything that consumes more than 100mA. You should use PWM for these purposes, or tune your voltage on the supply side. Second, why go with 6V when your forward voltage is 3.3 at most? Wouldn't it make more sense to use 3 batteries with 4.5V? Ah, but I know the answer to the second one. AAA cells aren't rated for high loads like this. So that's likely why the alkaline cells that I had in there before have started leaking. Thanks, certified piece of shit!
Honestly, consumer electronics are such a joke... At least there's some components that I can salvage from this crap. Mainly the LED cob, but also the resistor and the tactile pushbutton perhaps.
One last remark that I'd like to make. This floodlight was cheap garbage. But considering that you can't do it well at that price, you just shouldn't do it. You know why? Because consumers always go for the cheapest. Makes a lot of money to build at rock bottom prices and make shit, but it damages the whole industry, since now the good designs will go out of business. That's why consumer electronics is so full of crap nowadays. Some unethical profiteering gluttons saw money, and they replaced the whole assortment with nothing but garbage. I'm sure that there's a special place in hell for that kind of people.17 -
Do something brainless.
Like taking a shit.
Showering.
Hear music loud and dance.
Talk to people but don't listen.
Surf in the internet.
Masturbation.
Sport.
Take a walk.
Watch TV.
Cook.
And so on and so on.
Most of them are doable for hobby projects at home. Some are also suitable for work. Choose appropriately.
But if I am stuck, then continueing to try solve the problem most often keeps me stuck. So doing something else is my solution. So far it worked well.10 -
Once upon a time, there were a restaurant called "iEat.tech.com".
It was a small single-location place, where the sufficient number of patrons could be served by the cozy number of employees.
In fact, headcount was so lean that the cook was also the one who washed all the dishes.
But then came the suits and their "VC"(daddy) money and scaled shit up.
Soon, there were so many patrons that the dishes started to pile up the sink, never washed.
"We need someone to wash the dishes!" said the cook
"Fuck you, you wash the dishes!" said the s*its
Naturally, the cook left soon after.
The s*its had a problem now. They could not replace the cook fast enough - all other cooks were either young, inexperienced and mediocre (but did clean the dishes), or refused to waste their time on the sink.
So the suits did what $*its always do - they got a fucking consultant. Who told them to get a fucking dishwashing machine and billed them the GDP of Ireland.
The s*is, of course, did not want to buy a dishwashing machine. "Our fucking process is too fucking disruptive for us to use a fucking store-bought mass-produced metal servant!" (s*its don't know what "machines" are. For them, it's all in terms of "servants", employees and machines alike).
So the s*its hired an engineer to "solve the fucking dish problem, once and for all".
The engineer quickly started measuring and drawing and calculating. The engineer was about to prepare a budget when the s*its came screaming "What the fuck are you doing? There is a fucking pile of dishes in the sink!"
The engineer replied that "I'm designing the machine!", to what the s*its responded "don't bring me fucking problems, bring me solutions!" (or some other s*it blabber)
So the engineer quickly designed an efficient dishwashing assembly line to be done in half the time most people would. And then went back to designing the machine.
But the s*its were having none of it. They kept expanding and expanding and doing what they could so that the engineer never had a moment to work on the machine. They dit it so surreptitiously that no one barely even noticed, but one day they were paying a team of engineers to be fucking human dishwashers.
Now replace "dishes" with "Jira tickets" or "quick fixes" or "tiny changes" and fix other terms accordingly.
Fucking s*its.10 -
It is with a heavy heart that I said aufwiedersehen to my mom last night. She passed peacefully in her sleep, and is now resting in the fields and forests of heaven. She was born in 1932 in Hamburg, Germany, and at age 7 the world around her exploded into one of the most horrific wars that Europe or the world had seen up to that time. By the time it was over, she was thirteen, and had spent many of her formative years witnessing how low humanity can get in the treatement of fellow humans. She survived the post-war years, and came to the US in the late 1950's, and met my dad while in nursing school. She had four chidren, Tim, Chris, Tanya, and myself. She was a doting and caring mom, who dedicated herself to raising her children. She loved to cook, loved animals, especially dogs, and love human beings in general, and had a compassionate and kind heart. There is a small, empty space in the world that she filled, but heaven is a little brighter with her smile and her laughter. I miss you mom, but I know I will see you again some day. Aufwiedersehen, lieber Mutti! Wir sehen uns bald.15
-
Finally got some free time cook for myself a lunch...
Don't have worry about the company project anymore.
😋
17 -
Fuck I love my job, my boss and I are absolute food fanatics and talk about weird and wonderful things we cook...
He knows I bloody love curry so he brought some in for me to have for lunch and he's bringing me a shit load of fresh grown vegetables...
And to think I chose IT over being a chef.... (Still no regrets)6 -
Can we ever have a truly democratic and uncensored Internet?
I am writing this in irritation and anger as I read a story headlined " Apple CEO backs China’s vision of an ‘open’ Internet as censorship reaches new heights"
Appearantly "Open Internet" as the Chinese Government understands it is, "you can say whatever you want as long as we like it". And Apple being the ass-kissing, 730-million-customer-seeking, co**suckers that they are is only happy to comply. They even removed 674 VPN apps from the Chinese version of their App Store last year to comply with government rules, stating "We strongly believe that participating in markets and bringing benefits to consumers is in the best interests of folks there and in other countries as well, We believe in engaging in governments even when we disagree.”
That was Cook by the way.
Thats two fucking contradictory statements rolled into one!!
Anyway, I know private companies are well within their rights to do what they want to make profits. And I understand Apple might not be at fault totally. But its just so frustrating... :-(
The Net Neutrality repeal in the US, this, the Aadhar shit in India and lots of other stuff thats been happening around the world, that just blatantly undermine Civil Rights and freedom makes me imagine that only a bleak future sits on horizon. Almost Orwellian.
If only people would just realise and revolt a bit... probably we would have a different future then..
I hope I am wrong and this is just the pessimist in me speaking.14 -
You know whom I hate more than apple fanboys, "language" fanboys!
Yeah...that's a thin now.
(I'll post the whole story when I reach my room)8 -
Am I the only one who likes to cook home-made food instead of getting junk pizzas and/or other awful stuff?
Is the dev community inherently kitchen-averse?20 -
Fuck you Apple. I forgot the headphone dongle for my iPhone at home, so now I can't (1) plug my apple headphones into anything (i.e. my laptop, which is made by the same fucking company) and (2) use any other headphones with my phone. Buying an iPhone was a mistake. Apple has been implementing the shittiest UX recently. Don't even bring up the fucking bezel on the iPhone X or the marketing bullshit that is "retina display". The worst part is the Apple fanboys that act like everything Apple pumps out has been touched by the hand of God—Tim Cook could show up at their house and kill their fucking dog right in front of their eyes and they'd worship Apple for doing it.14
-
Xpost from /r/sysadmin:
I occasionally see posts from people who seem like they want to spend every waking hour of every waking minute working on home lab stuff and studying for certs.
If you do this, you're missing out on life which you will regret later, but even if you don't care about missing out on life, it actually is hurting your career.
Being well rounded helps you interact with others at work in a number of ways. It makes you less one dimensional as "the computers guy" and it also gives you topics to discuss with people. If you know how to cook, or brew beer, or bake bread you end up using a lot of your technical and troubleshooting skills. Biking long distancing and learning how to fix your bike helps with your troubleshooting skills too. You learn to look at things from other angles.
Reading novels or writing poetry or making art work also helps because it exercises your brain. Woodworking or metal working involve a lot of skills that'd help your IT career including project planning and measuring and budgeting for each project. Working on cars or motorcycles would be similar. You just have to do SOMETHING.
I have a member of my team who literally has nothing going on in his life other than studying for certs. No friends, no hobbies, and he basically eats nothing but McDonalds and frozen dinners because even making a meal takes time away from his studying. He thinks means he's dedicated and will experience great career success.
But instead he has nothing to talk to anyone about, and when I say nothing, I mean literally nothing. It's borderline terrifying. Even if he was into comic books and video games it might help, which might help him relate to SOME of the IT staff even if the rest of the people at the company know nothing about it. But he doesn't even have that.
This isn't a solitary field anymore. Even if you truly are "the best" you still have to interact with other people and stay mentally stable enough to not burn out. Even if you know more than everyone else (or think you do) you have to try to broaden your horizons.10 -
I eat food. And I cook food. Believe it or not, cooking is very similar to coding. Things you do at the very beginning haunt you till the very end. Also, premature optimization is the root of all evil (in both domains).4
-
Telling an Arch beginner to try Gentoo is same as telling someone who switched from Java to C to try assembly.3
-
Summer is coming, and i suppose all of you will buy a new barbecue to cook some meat, but i have another economic alternative.
How to make a homemade bbq:
1) Take an old laptop
2) Turn it on
3) Install Android studio (also works with intellij)
4) Add a lot of gradle (or maven) depencies
5) Code something cool (or not)
6) Build and compile it
7) Now you can put your meat on your laptop
8) Enjoy your meal13 -
*sees how Facebook kicked me out of my Bitlbee session again*
Me: "Motherf-..."
Still there's some friends of mine on Facebook who apparently got really hooked.. can't for the love of the holy Raven seem to get them away from that shithole.
"Alright then Facebook.. your win. I'll install Messenger and Pages Manager again to at least have your shit be semi-usable again 😑"
*installs said apps*
"Holy shit that battery is draining fast, and I'll have to go out in half an hour"
*plugs phone in fast charger*
*phone while charging keeps on dropping battery level*
FACECUNTS!!!!!! 😤
*powers off phone to conserve battery life and goes off to cook a meal*
*comes back to boot up the phone again and uninstalls those Face-crapps*
*phone immediately starts raising its battery level super fast*
Coincidence? I think not 🤔🤔🤔2 -
My views of Apple
Mac is shitte
MacBook is shitte
MacBook Pro is shitte
iPad is shitte
iPhone is shitte
AirPods are shitte
AirPower is shitte
iOS is shitte
iTunes is shitte
i-something-belonging-to-Apple is shitte
Tim Cook is shitte
Apple stickers are shitte.
Dongles are shitte.
Lightning port is shitte.
ECG is freaking awesome.18 -
Remember the time when someone appreciated your code and praised the implementation, said that your code was better??
Yeah, neither do I.1 -
!dev
Ffuuuuucckk
This day just sucks.
Got a speeding ticket, went to pay it first thing in the morning. To renew insurance I had to call the bank to update my phone nr for 2FA. In this endless loop of „for this, press 1, for that, press2“ I pressed the wrong number and it invalidated my e-Banking password.
After a while got my number updated, after that called the insurance, after waiting for like 20min got that sorted and wanted to check my bank balance but I couldn’t log in. Now I can’t reset it either because it’s locked.
Need to call then again but needed a break and wanted to cook something but now my FUCKING SINK is clogged.
Have to uninstall half of the kitchen to get to t he pipes..
And it’s only noon.5 -
Saw one of these in store today.
Who designs these "Ergonomic" things?
My fingers starts aching just by looking at this..
13 -
My old phone is dead forever but I'm back :-D
AND I JUST GOT AN INTERNSHIP :-DDDD I GET TO PROGRAM IN AN ACTUAL WORK ENVIRONMENT LIKE A BIG KID
AND KINDA GETTING A HOUSE THIS SUMMER I THINK?! (I have to share with my sister and her boyfriend but that means I get to cook without people interfering MOM JUST LET ME MAKE FRENCH TOAST JEEZ)
(and I'm probably like 99.9% getting kicked out of school but everything is going to be fine I hope :-s )
BUT I MIGHT GO TO *COMMUNITY COLLEGE* SOMEDAY SO EVERYTHING IS FINE :-D15 -
My best case "Deploy Bittersweet Pipeline":
Prep a bunch of carrots, cucumber and tomatoes for day snacks. Roll & cut some pasta noodles, cook stock with fresh veggies & mushrooms, add some droopy soft boiled egg(s) to the broth, drizzle in some black garlic hot sauce. Enjoy that breakfast with an unsweetened Australian flat white and a half-liter cup of chai spiced green tea. Watch some science/tech/woodworking/cooking YouTube videos while feeding my Bittersweet Jr girl.
(yeah my mood is determined for about 90% by food)
Fire up docker compose & IDEs, and start refactoring code and migrating/fixing old databases.
My worst case "Fatal Incident Bittersweet Repair & Recovery Process":
Stuck while refactoring the worst kind of trash code since 9am.
Pour a glass of Tawny Port at 9pm. Pour a glass of cognac at 11pm. Unwrap 3 chocolate bars and break them into chunks in a bowl. Look at IDE, get nauseated, not from the booze or chocolate, but from the code.
Can't fall asleep because code is too broken, that crap should simply not exist. Take some LSD and amphetamine, can't sleep anyway. Start splitting several 10k-line-long files into smaller classes, type until my fingers have blisters. Empty two bags of Doritos, order a large Falafel with extra garlic sauce at 4am.
Fall asleep at 5am with my face on my keyboard, wake up at 9am with keyboard pattern on my skin.
Cook some hangover noodles.
Call work that I'm taking 3 days off. Feed Bittersweet Jr while I watch some YouTube channels with her. Bittersweet has successfully rebooted.1 -
Stop calling people by their old occupation titles. .
Please address them by using their new titles accordingly
and they will like it their job more.
OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist*
OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission engineer*
OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Controller*
OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*
OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*
OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*
OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*
OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Director*
OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*
OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Director*
OLD: *Prostitute*
NEW: *Practical Sexual Relations Officer*
OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Officer*
OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*
OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestics Managing Director*
OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Chemist*
OLD: *Gossip*
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Director*
Which one got you more?13 -
It was my first time "cooking" wok with special wok oil and sweet soja sauce.
(You do not cook wok)
13 -
Fucking Apple... my MacBook Pro committed suicide upgrading from High Sierra to Mojave, had to wipe the drive. After much trouble resetting my Apple ID (put the password AND the two-factor code in the password field.. who the fuck thought that up), it tells me Mojave isn't compatible with this computer.
... fine, it's a 2012 machine I can respect that, but you blew away my system to upgrade THIS WAS YOUR IDEA NOT MINE...
...and so I just try to update to El Capitan or something because I'm on FUCKING OSX LION now (swirling galaxy, so sparkle, such stars)
...and the App Store won't let me. Why?
"Software Update Required"
"To make changes to your payment information, you need to upgrade your Mac to the latest version of macOS."
just.
wow. -
After seeing this "old" picture I want to let know at the guyz who are in love with AMD that before Ryzen(s) I was able to cook my fuckin' breakfast's eggs on their fuckin' CPUs.
Big mistakes brings to great solutions and shut up the fuck up AMD, probably your core code is full of vulnerabilities but no one cares about your ultra threads architecture.
22 -
Sometime I fear that I will be totaly useless if the era of internet will gone.. Era of computer will fade..
I cant even cook tea..3 -
Here's what being in a rut is like:
You wake up to the alarm, you waste an hour or two in bed stalling browsing social shit. Finally got out of bed. You have a todo list. You ignore it. Get something to eat. Open Netflix or some brain numbing shit while having breakfast. A few hours go by, you're still watching Netflix and switching to browsing social shit in-between so your brain is numb as much as possible. It's lunch time, you're supposed to cook something, nah, I will order something. Oh, it's bedtime, let's make a todo list and go to bed and start over tomorrow...5 -
Realized I hadn’t subjected you guys to cat photos.
The brown cat is Robert Lazarus (the rescue named him Bob) and the white and brown cat is Dylan Thomas (rescue named him Dylan).
Bobcat died as a kitten (thus his middle name) and was brought back to life, but was blind for a bit as a result. According to legend, Tomcat acted as his seeing eye cat when he wasn’t able to see on his own. Bobcat’s vision’s better now (though he still might have some issues as he’s a little iffy on balance sometimes), but the rescue didn’t want to separate the two of them since they were a bonded pair.
Loads of people wanted Tomcat but didn’t want to take a chance on a zombie cat. Which I’m constantly thankful for because they’re awesome. Even if they steal my keyboard and try to eat my notes and try (and succeed) to jump on me while I’m trying to cook because they want to play with the feather toy that’s been hidden (not so well!) on top of the fridge and know it’s their best shot at getting up there.
8 -
After I picked up cooking, I dialed in a classic Russian pancakes recipe of my grandma (the babushka) and made it sugar-free. I cook those pancakes for my wife every Saturday, and she says they taste heavenly.
So, here’s the recipe of kiki’s pancakes:
- 8 eggs, 150g of 82% butter, 300g of flour, baking powder, 800ml of 3.2% fat milk. If you have a blender, it’ll make things easier
- let them sit and make all of them the same temperature
- take 8 eggs, add milk, stir
- liquify the butter in the microwave, add, stir
- sift the flour in while stirring continuously
- let it sit for 30 minutes
- take a pan, add little butter or sunflower seed oil, make it scary hot
- after you pour, flip the pancake when its top gets dry
to flip them easily, spread pastry wide when pouring, overlapping frying pan edges. Then, use those edges (now bone dry) to flip the pancake. After you’re done, those edges (now almost black) will break away, leaving a perfect pancake. This works especially well if you don’t have a good non-stick frying pan.
enjoy!
8 -
Full stack developer.
I know what it's supposed to mean, but I feel like it gives discredit to the devs who perfect their area (frontend, backend, db, infrastructure). It's, to me, like calling myself a chef because I can cook dinner..
The depth, analysis and customization of the domain to shape an api to a website is never appreciated. The finicle tweaks on the frontend to make those final touches. Then comes a brat who say they are full stack, and can do all those things. Bullshit. 99.9% of them have never done anything but move data through layers and present it.
Throw these wannabes an enterprise system with monoliths and microservices willy nelly, orchestrate that shit with a vertical slice nginx ssi with disaster recovery, horizontal scaling, domain modeling, version management, a busy little bus and events flowing all decimal points of 2pi. Then, if you fully master everything going on there, I believe you are full stack.
Otherwise you just scraped the surface of what complexities software development is about. Everyone who can read a tutorial can scrape together an "in-out" website. But if your db is looking the same as your api, your highest complexity is the alignment of an infobox, I will laugh loud at your full stack.
And if you told me in an interview that you are full stack, you'd better have 10+ years experience and a good list of failed and successful projects before I'd let you stay the next two minutes..1 -
I'm intentionally resigning from my remote software development job to teach my company a lesson. The guy who wrote the codes previously really knew how to cook spaghetti 😀😂.
To add a single line takes minutes, because when you do something else breaks, and you'll keep fixing what breaks when you tried fixing what breaks when you try fixing what..... endless loop of bug-fix cycle.
Now they blame it on me.
They won't understand if they don't get someone new, my reputation will fix itself through that..
My first opinion after sighting the codes was, "re-write the whole project using better patterns and architecture", the reply as you can guess, we'll do that later.
I couldn't even upgrade the server to use even PHP 7.1 because the framework breaks, the guy has editted a lot from the vendors files. Don't ever try composer updates.
Two word to describes the situation. "It sucks".
The previous developer needs to be shot, literally.7 -
Wake Up. Cook. Eat. Work. Clean. Meetings. Work. Eat. Work. Netflix & Chill. Sleep. Repeat. 😎😝
How does your Work from Home look like?🧐
9 -
Today I gave my Network assessment (code) on an A4 sheet as told by the professor. He will later type the code and check if runs or not and award marks !!
ಠ▃ಠ 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 Where is my stress ball?4 -
I think my favorite MacBook Pro™ with touch bar feature is when I'm changing the volume while listening to music, and the bar bugs ou- ahem, decides that I actually want to listen at max volume, and proceeds to rape my ears.
If only Tim Cook were here, and would grace my humble existence by allowing me to pleasure him with my mouth. It is moments like these that make me feel truly blessed to be an Apple chosen one.2 -
Last Monday I bought an iPhone as a little music player, and just to see how iOS works or doesn't work.. which arguments against Apple are valid, which aren't etc. And at a price point of €60 for a secondhand SE I figured, why not. And needless to say I've jailbroken it shortly after.
Initially setting up the iPhone when coming from fairly unrestricted Android ended up being quite a chore. I just wanted to use this thing as a music player, so how would you do it..?
Well you first have to set up the phone, iCloud account and whatnot, yada yada... Asks for an email address and flat out rejects your email address if it's got "apple" in it, catch-all email servers be damned I guess. So I chose ishit at my domain instead, much better. Address information for billing.. just bullshit that, give it some nulls. Phone number.. well I guess I could just give it a secondary SIM card's number.
So now the phone has been set up, more or less. To get music on it was quite a maze solving experience in its own right. There's some stuff about it on the Debian and Arch Wikis but it's fairly outdated. From the iPhone itself you can install VLC and use its app directory, which I'll get back to later. Then from e.g. Safari, download any music file.. which it downloads to iCloud.. Think Different I guess. Go to your iCloud and pull it into the iPhone for real this time. Now you can share the file to your VLC app, at which point it initializes a database for that particular app.
The databases / app storage can be considered equivalent to the /data directories for applications in Android, minus /sdcard. There is little to no shared storage between apps, most stuff works through sharing from one app to another.
Now you can connect the iPhone to your computer and see a mount point for your pictures, and one for your documents. In that documents mount point, there are directories for each app, which you can just drag files into. For some reason the AFC protocol just hangs up when you try to delete files from your computer however... Think Different?
Anyway, the music has been put on it. Such features, what a nugget! It's less bad than I thought, but still pretty fucked up.
At that point I was fairly dejected and that didn't get better with an update from iOS 14.1 to iOS 14.3. Turns out that Apple in its nannying galore now turns down the volume to 50% every half an hour or so, "for hearing safety" and "EU regulations" that don't exist. Saying that I was fuming and wanting to smack this piece of shit into the wall would be an understatement. And even among the iSheep, I found very few people that thought this is fine. Though despite all that, there were still some. I have no idea what it would take to make those people finally reconsider.. maybe Tim Cook himself shoving an iPhone up their ass, or maybe they'd be honored that Tim Cook noticed them even then... But I digress.
And then, then it really started to take off because I finally ended up jailbreaking the thing. Many people think that it's only third-party apps, but that is far from true. It is equivalent to rooting, and you do get access to a Unix root account by doing it. The way you do it is usually a bootkit, which in a desktop's ring model would be a negative ring. The access level is extremely high.
So you can root it, great. What use is that in a locked down system where there's nothing available..? Aha, that's where the next thing comes in, 2 actually. Cydia has an OpenSSH server in it, and it just binds to port 22 and supports all of OpenSSH's known goodness. All of it, I'm using ed25519 keys and a CA to log into my phone! Fuck yea boi, what a nugget! This is better than Android even! And it doesn't end there.. there's a second thing it has up its sleeve. This thing has an apt package manager in it, which is easily equivalent to what Termux offers, at the system level! You can install not just common CLI applications, but even graphical apps from Cydia over the network!
Without a jailbreak, I would say that iOS is pretty fucking terrible and if you care about modding, you shouldn't use it. But jailbroken, fufu.. this thing trades many blows with Android in the modding scene. I've said it before, but what a nugget!8 -
Told by boss earlier that my job description should be changed.
It should be cook or chef, as I'm making spaghetti inside my editor.
He argued it could be risotto as well7 -
In a pretty bad mood today. Everything annoys me. Nothing enjoyable happened throughout the day. In the evening after a long walk with my fam decided to go to a restaurant. The kind I like [serving food like my mom used to cook in my childhood].
I picked stewed livers to treat myself - smth I really like.
The meal was SO spoiled by the sauce and spices that I could only taste them and none of that livers taste I wanted so much.
The evening got even worse.
I hope you guys had a better Saturday.12 -
Just don't open it...
Will definitely not pretend to be productive 24/7. But the below help me reach a satisfactory 8/5 most day's.
- Exercise in the morning
- Eat breakfast
- Listen to good music
- Make sure to have fun moments throughout the workday (++ for initiating)
- Catch air, have a walk, take a break
- Minimize interactions with toxic people
- Be open in sharing knowledge, thoughts, work , good people will repay you
- Get in the kitchen, cook nice healthy meals
- Set concrete and reachable targets
- Remain eager to learn
- Celebrate successes
- Spent time with friends and family
- Catch enough sleep
And above all, DON'T open devRant!!! -
I hate touching my keyboard when I eat... I usually put some video to watch and start eating. But every single time it goes like this:
Me: "Finally finish that piece of code, time to cook some food!"
*After cooking and back in front of my screen ready to enjoy the next episode of my favorite show*
Brain: "Wtf are you doing! You have better things to do than watching this garbage! Like implementing all 101 improvements you thought about while cooking!" -
I really need to kick Tim Cook in the ass.
“Everything Works”, yeah tell that to your dead dog.
Debugging watchos experience:
I need to uninstall main app for watch app to register changes in code.
Xcode crashes during debugging.
Cannot SET custom keys in Info.plist, in watch target, ohhhh goood, but thats where app configuration is set, how and why do you care about simple string keys!!! What now i need to send that configuration from main app??
Tim Cook just go die please, you have ruined apple.3 -
Bought cup noodle to save time and hassle. Forgot to turn on the electric kettle. Pour the water into cup without checking temperature. In the end, have to cook with the pot anyway. What the **** am I doing?5
-
Of course I can code with vi. I can also cook by burning wood. It might taste better, but it doesn't cook faster.12
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Best laptop to run your linux distro
"Razer founder and CEO Min-Liang Tan has announced that Razer is soon going to support Linux distros on its Razer Blade laptop series officially. To welcome the suggestions from the community, Razer has created a new Linux Corner hub"5 -
When you can code amazing things but can't cook to feed yourself or remember to drink enough water in a day.
1 -
INTERVIEW. It tells everything about the company. I recently applied for a "big" company for the position of ML Engineer. The Job description was like "someone with good knowledge of visual recognition, deep learning, advanced ML stuff, etc." I thought great, I might be a good fit. A guy called me the next day. Introduced himself as a manager of the Data Science team with 8+ years of experience. Started the talk saying "it is just an informal intro". But things escalated very quickly. Started shooting Data Science questions. He was asking questions in a very bookish way. Tells me to recite formulas (like big formulas). When I explained to him a concept, he was not understanding anything. Wanted a very bookish answer. I quickly realized I know more about ML stuff than him (not a big deal) and he is arrogant as fuck (not accepting my answers). Plus, he has no knowledge about Deep Learning. At the very end, he tells me "man, you need to clear up your fundamentals". WTH??? My fundamentals. Okay, I am not Einstein or Hinton, but I know I was answering things correctly. I have read books and research papers and blogs and all. When I don't know about things, I tell straight away. I don't cook answers. So the "interview" ended. I searched that man on LinkedIn. Got to know he teaches college students Data Science and ML. For a fee of 50,000 INR. It's a big amount!! Considering the things he teaches. You can find the same stuff (with far higher quality) free of cost (on Coursera, Udacity, YouTube, free books, what not). He is a cheater. He is making fool of college students. That is why I sometimes hate "experience". 8+ years of exp and he is such an a**hole!! BTW, I thanked God for saving me from that company. Can't imagine such an arrogant boss.
TLDR: Be vigilant during interviews. It tells a lot about the company.4 -
What the hell is it with WordPress people. Just read a rant where this dude is calling himself a "developer" . What the hell you're not a developer stop calling yourself a developer. All you do is click and drag pictures into squares. And type plain English into text boxes. Using software thay an actual developer actually did develop. You don't see me on cook rant calling myself a cook you know why cuz I can't cook. Leave don't learn a respectable language and get back to me. And no HTML is not a language.24
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Me to my team:
Let's cook some rice this time. Instead of spaghetti. Grains would be separate from each other if we use the right ingredients.2 -
So, those of you who have been in quarantine for more than a week, how are you keeping your sanity?
Specially the news, goddamn, people are so stupid. The number of infected around here has been skyrocketing so I'm not even afraid of getting the virus anymore, I'm more afraid of the damn numbers going up.
Also, those of you who don't live alone, need not reply. 😝
I like my independence, but goddamn this feels a lot like being in luxury solitary confinement. Plus, I have to cook for myself.
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh30 -
In my senior year of college we had to make a restaurant pos system. Our group made a functional realtime android tablet app.
That allowed for customers to place order, request refills, play a very small game, chat with other tables, and pay for the check which supported splitting.
When an order was placed it strait to the cook part of the app. Which could view orders and complete them based on table number.
When an order was complete or a drink refill request the server part was notified. Where the server could view and finish orders based on table number.
There was also a very lite admin web component for basic reporting.
The UI was horrid, but we completed this in less than a month.2 -
Customer has asked me to recreate a dashboard they use with a bunch of data, charts, etc.
Problem: The screenshots they sent me... almost everything is illegible. The fidelity of the screenshots themselves is just fine.
It's that their dashboard they have is straight unintelligible. The charts are all smashed up, scale is off, most data ... you can't even tell what it is.
On one bar chart there's just one bar, no x or y scale indicators ... and a random dot in the bar... what even?
Apparently they love this dashboard but as far as I can tell they can't possibly be getting anything of value from it ...
It's like I can cook... but I can't make a recipe .. wrong ... just like someone else made it wrong from screenshots. :P -
!rant && 'suggestion'
What if we write cook book in pseudo code (or official development languages) instead of plain english so dumb fuck that can't follow a simple instruction like me could actually make something nice?
def mayonnaise:
mayonnaise = random.shuffle(['yolk', 'salt', 'pepper', 'mustard', 'vinegar'])
while(mayonnaise not "thick"):
mayonnaise.whip()
mayonnaise.append('olive oil')
mayonnaise.append('seasoning' || 'lemon juice')6 -
Fucking Apple locked my email again....
'Oh, we have no idea why this keeps happening'
Assholes... You'd think locking someone's account twice within a week without knowing why would be unacceptable, but they just act like it's business as usual..
Apple used to care about its customers, now what? They think they're too big to care anymore? Why don't you go shove your new icrap up your asshole cook!6 -
"We need smaller deliverables so that we can validate each iteration with the client! Instead of doing the whole batch, let's try a minimum viable unit of work first!"
And then the cook made a single unit of French fries. Like, a single stick. It took about 10 minutes, or about 95% of the time it would take to fry a whole portion.12 -
Let me tell you a tale, children. Of how one of the mostly ghastly, horrid pieces of software currently on this earth came to be in its current, pitiful state.
It all began on January 28th, 2015.
On that day, Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, sat leisurely in his office. He had just finished watching a live stream for a conference held by Facebook.
Minutes after the stream ended, he quietly sat in his chair, pondering over what was just shown.
The whole keynote was well done, he thought. But something about it just didn’t sit right with him. It was one specific line uttered by one of the keynote speaker that bothered him.
“React Native will help developers easily write code that will work on both iOS and Android”.
Out of all the talking done throughout that conference, it was that sentence, in particular, that stuck out like a sore thumb t Cook.
Those words began to echo in his head. “...Android”, Tim muttered to himself, gritting his teeth.
He immediately grabbed his Iphone from his pocket, and called the Technical Director of Xcode.
On the phone, the two discussed Xcode as it pertained to Facebook’s latest tool.
“Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t provide any support for React Native”, Cook told the director; “Just make it a bit more inconvenient for anyone using React, that’s all”.
The director thought his boss was nuts. Why on earth would you want to intentionally make using an IDE as painful of an experience as possible? But the technical director also knew that, more importantly, he wanted to keep his job.
“...We’ll do our best to make it a total pain in the ass to use React Native in Xcode”, the director told his boss with a shrug.
And so began one of the sickest jokes ever played on developers. A joke so twisted and cruel, it would make even the creator of PHP gasp in abject horror.
Who knew that someone would go out of their way to create an IDE that doesn’t even bloody work half of the time.
And don’t get me started on the absolute piss poor excuse for documentation this thing has.2 -
Holy fuck EA (yea I went there)
So here I am playing NFS Heat, and my laptop is hot enough to cook eggs on the keyboard, no joke, yet spec wise I should have 0 issues running this game.
I switch on the turbo cool (basically spin the internal fans at full speed... It's an MSI) and this usually covers any heating issues, nope... not this time.
this fucker of a fan can't keep up , so I've turned down the settings from ULTRA, that's depressing, to Medium... it feels like 2006 showed back up, but here's this laptop still burning a whole in my fingers.
My GPU (GTX1060 6GB) is running at 95'c on Medium graphics, and LOW looks like I fell into a 8bit world with slow ass rendering.
Guess I'm going to need to get some cooling assistance for this thing.
Thank you EA for turning my 2.5k laptop into a stove top, I appreciate it.
I guess the name checks out, "heat"14 -
!dev
This boring story with stupid ending started on Monday with me going out to buy some food and cook something delicious, day like always until my mind went nuts.
I work from home and cook my meals by myself cause I love cooking.
To buy ingredients I go shopping couple times a week always making the same steps, doing this for over a year now and by this time everything was automatic so I could think about work problems and solutions.
I start usually by getting up from my desk around noon, not many people doing shopping at that time and I can proceed quick.
Algorithm is like this: go to kitchen and look at the fridge, go out, wait for traffic lights, take tram, ride two stops, wait for the traffic lights again, go to supermarket, do shopping and finally go back the same way. Boooring.
When I get out from tram that day l looked at traffic lights to go green, as always and that’s the place where everything started to go bad.
So I was waiting there doing nothing and then stupid idea got me.
I figured out I can stop looking at light to make this day different and look ahead.
Then simply start walking when people from other side start walking.
It worked smoothly on those lights and I was happy I can do things differently from now on. I proceed with this idea on the way back and motherfuckers started walking on red. Twice !!!!
Almost died.
Since then three times some car was driving on green near me in those places and people started walking on red.
It got me worried about world determinism instantly. I might increased some entropy to much and some world developer changed some line of code while I was shopping and from that time death is passing by me.
Now it got me to the point where the more I follow this way the more I am worried about my life. Started thinking about ordering ingredients online.
So if you read this you know that I know your plan and I will be changing supermarkets and paths to it randomly starting from next week.
Or not I hope nobody hacked my mind and only thing that read and write to it is my consciousness.
I feel relief now.2 -
dude fuck fucking salesforce i fucking hate the day someone came up with the brilliant ass idea of inventing this garbage crm software that i must deal with even though it is not my area. i fucking hate the developer experience to do third-party implementations, not letting you upload changes to another environment for the sake of """"good practices"""", the fucking interface is slow as shit i could've already had intense hto sex, taken a shit, cook lunch and sleep 2 hours before it can load a single retarded lightning page.
why? WHY? WHYYY? WHY MUST THIS ASSWARE EXIST? WHY?
AS A FACT I'VE WRITTEN THIS RANT BEFORE THE DAMN PAGE EVEN LOADED A CONFIGURATION SECTION. GOD HELP US.5 -
It is the time for the proper long personal rant.
Im a fresh student, i started few months ago and the life is going as predicted: badly or even worse...
Before the university i had similar problems but i had them under control (i was able to cope with them and with some dose of "luck" i graduated from high school and managed to get into uni). I thought by leaving the town and starting over i would change myself and give myself a boost to keep going. But things turned out as expected. Currently i waste time everyday playing pc games or if im too stressed to play, i watch yt videos. Few years ago i thought i was addicted, im not. It might be a effect of something greater. I have plans, for countess inventions, projects, personal, for university and others and ALL of them are frozen, stopped, non existant. No motivation. I had few moments when i was motivated but it was short, hours or only minutes. Long term goals dont give me any motivation. They give as much short lived joy, happines as goals in games and other things... (no substance abuse problems, dont worry). I just dont see point of my projects anymore. Im sure that my projects are the only thing that will give me experience and teach me something but... i passed the magic barrier of univercity, all my projects are becoming less and less impressive... TV and other sources show people, briliant people, students, even children that were more succesful than me
if they are better than me why do i even bother? companies care more for them, especialy the prestigious ones, they have all the fame, money, funding, help, gear without question!
of course they hardworked for ther positions, they could had better beggining or worse but only hard work matters right?
As i said. None of my work matters, i worked hard for my whole life, studing, crafting, understanding: programming, multiple launguages, enviorements, proper and most effcient algorithms, electronic circuits, mechanical contraptions. I have knowlege about nearly every machine and i would be able to create nearly everything with just access to those tools and few days worth of practice. (im sort of omnibus, know everything) But because had lived in a small town i didnt have any chances of getting the right equpment. All of my electronical projects are crap. Mechanical projects are made out of scrap. Even when i was in high school, nobody was impressed or if they were they couldnt help me.
Now im at university. My projects are stagnant, mostly because of my mental problems. Even my lifestyle took a big hit. I neglect a lot of things i shouldnt. Of course greg, you should go out with friends! You cant dedicate 100% of your life to science!
I fucking tried. All of them are busy or there are other things that prevent that... So no friends for me. I even tried doing something togheter! Nope, same reasons or in most cases they dont even do anything...
Science clubs? Mostly formal, nobody has time, tools are limited unless you designed you thing before... (i want to learn!, i dont have time to design!), and in addition to that i have to make a recrutment project... => lack of motivation to do shit.
The biggest obstacle is money. Parts require money, you can make your parts but tools are money too. I have enough to live in decent apartment and cook decently as well but not enough to buy shit for projects. (some of them require a lot or knowlege... and nobody is willing to give me the second thing). Ok i found a decent job oppurtunity. C# corporation, very nice location, perfect for me because i have a lot of time, not only i can practice but i can earn for stuff. I have a CV or resume just waiting for my friend to give me the email (long story, we have been to that corp because they had open days and only he has the email to the guy, just a easier way)
But there are issiues with it as well so it is not that easy.
If nobody have noticed im dedicated to the science. Basicly 100% scientist that want to make a world a better place.
I messaged a uni specialist so i hope he will be able to help me.
For long time i have thought that i was normal, parent were neglecting my mental health and i had some situations that didnt have good infuence on me as well. I might have some issiues with my brain as well, 96% of aspargers symptoms match, with other links included. I dont want to say i have it but it is a exciuse for a test. In addition to that i cant CANT stop thinking, i even tried not thinking for few minutes, nope i had to think about something everytime. On top of that my biological timer is flipped. I go to sleep at 5 am and wake up at 5pm (when i dont have lectures).
I prefer working at night, at that time my brain at least works normaly but i dont want to disrupt roommates...
And at the day my brain starts the usual, depression, lack of motivation, other bullshit thing.
I might add something later, that is all for now. -
Think in the Design of iPhone 11 John Ive was absent; this was Tom (Cook)'s idea and inspiration 😆😆😆😆
1 -
When you make fried eggs after you cook them abit put some water on them and then close them with a lid so they will cook evenly with the heat of the evaporating water
He was a python developer.3 -
"I'm a cook. I have a lot of experience... so, don't question me there - but I have this one question: I have some food. I need to make it hot. What library can I use to make hot? Please help. I'm on a deadline."13
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I'll probably learn how to cook, maybe open a café and start selling overpriced coffee and Savory snacks.
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"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far the universe is winning." ~~ Rick Cook
This guy single handedly explained GANs back in 90s and nobody noticed -
Did any of you hear Tim Cook's recent statement?
'Apple CEO Tim Cook says it is more important to learn how to code than it is to learn English as a second language.'
I mean, most of the code that I'd ever work on would be in English, no matter which country I'm living in. Most of the resources, documentation, tutorials are in English. Plus, if you think algorithmically, the logical code flow closely resembles constructs in English language. How could I possibly code without knowing English?
Go home Tim, you're drunk!
https://qz.com/1099791/...2 -
Can you guys list some of your favorite recipes in the comments?
Trying to find new food to cook, because I'm tired of making the same like 7 meals and that's it lol
If it doesn't have a meat, it's probably not for me, btw. But I will be open to trying things16 -
Fucking hell, I can't even cook in piece without my mother constantly shouting shit, because the phone doesn't make beautiful selfies anymore. hint: there's a fucking crack over the lense,because you dropped it and no changing all possible settings while throwing out all patience, common sense and ability to read will not improve this situation
i tried to tell her that she could still try to make do with her main camera and when she switches she asked me: "But why does it still make normal photos when I rotate the thing?!" Because unlike your mind this camera isn't damage now fuck off, with all your nervousity I tried to relax and cook us something, but that was more stressful than all the work I did today.9 -
Map/filter/reduce in a tweet:
map([🌽, 🐮, 🐔], cook)
=> [🍿, 🍔, 🍳]
filter([🍿, 🍔, 🍳], isVegetarian)
=> [🍿, 🍳]
reduce([🍿, 🍳], eat)
=> 💩 -
So, whenever I delay windows 10 update restart a few times, things start breaking. Wifi doesn't work, 100% cpu, ram or mem usage, sound problems etc. And all this goes away once I submit my soul and update. I'm sick of this shit 😡. Today I got a BSOD after which it updated and things seem fine FOR NOW.
Does this happen to other Win 10 users?8 -
!dev !rant
I'm looking for recipe to try and make as I'm a bit too bored and my school life is being a bitch. Can anyone recommend me their favorite recipe?
And yes, I'm bold to assume you guys can cook20 -
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I hated this day! Get out of bed to a direct fire and firefight all fucking day long, cook while firefighting, shit while firefighting, make dinner while firefighting and now I finally get to eat my fucking dinner without a laptop in front of me. I just want to scream FUUUUUUUCK so very loud but I'm a nice neighborhood. Fuck, shit cunt day. Fuck.
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I have so much shit I want/need to learn. I've started learning C while picking JavaScript back up, I'm learning basic electronics but I have a lot planned for that. Not even related but I want to fucking Cook, yeah i said it i wanna cook but why does that make me feel like i should just stop and go back to programming. Idk I just spill shit in these rants. Also wanna learn to speak another langauge but can't find the time, and I have college and dude I'm trying and trying and I need someone to appreciate something I do before I flip or before C destroys my entire being from being the weirdest yet interesting yet fucking brain melting. And fuck JS I Love it but sometimes it's a twat let's be honest4
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Is it okay for software engineers like us to go out to eat every day? I just don’t find the time to cook for myself. And honestly the time spent cooking would be better spent learning (judging by our hourly rate). Do you think it’s okay for devs to have such a luxurious life style (eating out is a privilege!) because our minds are so taxed on learning and creating?4
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I think I'm reaching now 40 hours in 3 days coding a function for a nasty grouping report.
Now the report is ready.
Testing with real data I'm 3/4 units off.
Now start at least one full week of monster counting-debugging-fixing on hundred of data.
If somebody get close to me in these days, I'll cut their throat drink their blood and eat their heart still beating, like Aztecs.
I'll have no time to cook or buy anything else to eat anyway, so it will be for survival.1 -
~dev, not in front of computer stuff
Playing with the controller and power management using the torque sensor, managed to get this flatland cook-off going today on the fat tire ebike with only 50watts of assistance. Efficiency gains over stock of 28%! 30mph on a bike feels ridiculously unsafe, but the looks you get from cars are even better.
Love being able to gather all this telemetry (GPS, elevation, pulse, durations), gives me stuff to fish through and data to play with.
6 -
Cooking.
Murderous cooking.
Anger management cooking.
Joke aside, I mostly have no clue what I'm doing.
Cooking and gardening (sadly no longer a possibility) are two thing where my brain goes out and I just do it.
It has happened more than once that this has failed... But most of the time it goes surprisingly well.
I'm absolutely not an accurate or refined cook.
I hate cutting stuff "even sized"… I hate when it looks perfect. I hate swiping off drops of the plate so it looks more refined....
So yeah, it might look like puke. But it's tasty. XD11 -
A microwave can cook potatoes in ten minutes!? Why the fuck did nobody tell me?
A lot of workplaces only offer a microwave and no oven, and barley a kitchen to prepare stuff.
Hence, I was rarely bringing in my own food as I worked under the assumption that I had to prepare it at home and just heat it up at work. And potatoes take round about ~40 minutes the way I make them (20 min to cook, 20 min to steep).
Now, I will be using the shit out of those technical wonders and save a lot of money in the progress, as I used to go to restaurants almost daily for lunch time. Heck, I may even buy myself one for home use.
Oh, now I remember why!
This is what I get by being brought up by a somewhat esoteric mother.
"Microwave are no good, the taint the food."
No, they do not. It's science!4 -
So...Microsoft is releasing a Linux based IoT OS. What does devRant community has to say about it?9
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This was in 1st semester and our CSE course went under some major course revision. Python was to be taught in place of C. Now the professor we had was very famous and we were excited to be in his class. But little did we knew he had no knowledge of Python at all. He used to tell the lab assistant to teach.It was so bad that I lost all interest in programming!!
But we all studied python later in our winter holidays for further courses.
Next semester we had OOP and this is what happened:
1st lab:
Professor(different): I expect you have basic knowledge in programming so I have uploaded.
Every question was related to structures in C.
In the same semester, we had data structures where we were 'expected' to know C or C++.
Later we came to know that Python was not going to be of any use in any course ! First semester went into dustbin.
/*
It was pretty long rant. Hope you didn't get bored :P
*/ -
So today morning I got a driver related BSOD after which during restart, my pc went into windows update. Everything was going fine when power failed and it shut off. Now I am stuck with this...
Good thing I have linux in dual boot so work is getting done.
-
i had an epiphany today, in a discussion with the software architect of our new project.
i'm having the epic job to design & implement a prototype for a C++ library in a new software project and collected some inspiration in our "old" software, where i'm maintaining the module that fulfills the same functionality (i thought). i've been maintaining this module for around a year now. i analyzed the different features and stuff to consider and created a partial model of the new library.
when i showed it to the architect today, he was like "oh my god, no no no, you don't need all this functionality, this shall not be part of the new library!"
this was the moment when i realized how deeply fucked up the code base of the old module is.
imagine it like this:
you want to automate the process of making yourself a good ol' cup of coffee.
the reasonable thing would be to have
- a smart water boiler where you set parameters water temperature and amount of water to be fetched from the water supply
- a smart coffee bean grinder where you can set type of beans, amount of beans and grinding fineness
- a component where water and ground coffee are joined to brew the coffee, where parameters like duration, pressure etc. are set
- a milk tank where amount of milk, desired temperature and duration / speed of foaming can be set
- a sugar dispenser where amount of applied sugar can be set
- optionally, additional modules with spices, syrup, ice cubes, whatever for your very personal coffee experience
on requesting a coffee, you would then configure and orchestrate all components to your wishes to make you a fine cup of coffee. you can also add routines like "makeCappucchino()", "makeEspresso()", or whatever.
our software is not like this.
it is like this:
- a smart water boiler consisting of submodules that know how to cook water for e.g. "cappucchino with sugar" or for "espresso without sugar, but with milk and ice cubes"
- 5 smart bean grinders that know how to grind beans for e.g. cappucchino, espresso, latte macchiato and for 73ml of water preheated to 82°C
- a very smart sugar dispenser that knows how to add sugar to 95, 98 and 100°C coffee and to coffee made of BOTH coffee arabica AND coffee robusta beans.
etc. etc., i think you're getting the gist.
when i realized this, it was like, right in front of my eyes, this terrible pattern emerged like a foul, corrupted caleidoscope of chaos, through the whole code base of this module.
i've already known how rotten from the core this code base is, but today i've actually identified a really bad pattern that i hadn't realized before. the whole architecture is so bloated that it is hard to have an overview of the whole thing. and it would require a LOT of refactoring to repair this pattern.
but i guess it would also be infinitely satisfying because i could probably reduce the code base for 30% or something...
but unfortunately, this is never going to happen, because screw refactoring.
it's a great feeling to start this new library from scratch, tho...6 -
They need to get rid of the Cook and employ a Chef.
It used to be creativity, foresight, instinct manifesting itself in great innovative design and software. Now we have everything focused on chasing the $. Just like Microsoft used to be, until that is they realised. Now Apple is the old Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple.
I live in hope.5 -
Manager to External : <badEnglish>We have problem with data feed, please fix</badEnglish>
External: Here's the situation <gives situation>
Me: Thank you! Here's the situation, but corrected <corrected situation>. Can we arrange a phone call on Friday or Monday?
External: Sure! whenever you like
Manager, this morning: where is the meeting for the phonecall?
Now I'm her fucking assistant. I had a glance a her calendar, it's full of full.
She'll soon ask me to cook for her and make her coffee too...
Shitty I don't have the qualifications for a proper developer job :((7 -
Did I suffer through 2023? Hell yes! Fuck 2023! A LOT of doubt, anxiety, thinking that I live wrong somehow.
Yet, I’m completely satisfied with the results of 2023, with what I was able to accomplish. It means I do, in fact, live my life right. If I carry on doing what I do, I’ll be getting what I get. Here’s what happened to me in 2023:
- Cat!
- No more sugar
- No more smoking
- First time reading paper books in 15 years
- Made me a new website (miloi.am/engine) that, for the first time in my life, isn’t about me as a job candidate, but about me as a person.
- SENT MY DEVRANT LINK to my CEO! Dreaded this coming out for YEARS. Finally did it. He read my posts, told me I’m free to be who I am, told me he already knows me well, that he wasn’t surprised, and overall didn’t care much.
- New name, new pronouns
- Learned how to cook: soups, pancakes, falafel, other popular dishes. Most importantly, now when I go through the store, I’m not afraid of thinking about cooking. I look at something, and I know how to cook it, more or less.
- Found a good psychiatrist, got properly diagnosed, got properly prescribed
- Made a FIRE architecture at my work
- Conceived (and partly implemented) four monetizable side projects (that I can’t monetize yet because of my passport situation)
- Several VERY important insights that completely changed who I am. Several super crucial self-therapy skills.
Let’s see what happens in 2024 😛4 -
I’m sorry, but if you are still complaining about JavaScript, but have really done nothing to replace it as a language or produce an alternative on the web, your complaining is not solving anything and kind of annoying…
It’s like saying, “I hate how every time I cook food I have to wash dishes”, well like I guess that’s just part of the thing u sign up for…22 -
Someone should make a movie about three ghosts that haunt a BLOODY CROOK who makes his employees and coworkers burn the midnight oil in the bloody CHISTMAS EVE because the fucker haven't finished something that should have been ready TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO.
The ghost of Christmas past shows the fucker that he was a bloody LAZY KID who made his elderly relatives cook, host, clean, wash the dishes and everything else all by themselves during family-gathering season.
The ghost of Christmas present shows him his employees' children teary eyed that daddy doesn't get to watch cartoons with them before bedtime (we're not Christians but just because my house is a steak-free zone it doesn't mean my kids don't expect gifts from santa, like most kids in their school!)
The ghost of Christmas future shows a Netflix documentary on how the fucker got arrested for being a BLOODY CROOK that gets played by some actor who is a hollywood-level jerk who beats his wife. And the show gets a 3% on rotten tomatoes, just to salt the wound. Oh, and a voiceover says the real BLOODY CROOK hanged himself in prison or something and his family is happy he did it.
Fuck, I hate, for real hate, people whose tardiness bleeds out on honestly-working people. I had to wake up one of my devs to fix the SHIT that the bloody crook higher-up shat on us.
My guy is getting a raise as soon as I can scream at the bean counters and my boss will be getting some loooooong, data-rich report on how the bloody crook's department is pissing in our soup.
Fuck everything.2 -
My drunk grandpa decided to cook fried eggs by just throwing them as-is on an electric burner. They started to explode, smoke filled the small room with no windows. I took my younger sister and we ran away, but the smoke made her turn into a red cat.
Meanwhile, my actual cat slipped into a cavern of quicksand. My cat sister stumbled and started to slide into it too, but I was able to save her. Now she’s crying.
A rabid raccoon attacked me. He has a voice of Nick Wilde from Zootopia, and dirty needles for his teeth. I hold it by his neck, my older sister appears out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do to make the raccoon go away.
For context, she has confirmed IQ of around 140 in the real world. She tells me that the most efficient way to do that is to remove its eyes. Raccoon disagrees. She tells me she’s about to patent a device that removes rabid animals’ eyes easily with no hassle. She then proceeds to pull out a crudely fashioned rusty thing which is just an altered door hinge and proceeds to pop out raccoon’s eyes. She throws them away. Raccoon gets calm and wanders off, stumbling into everything.
I go back to my trailer. I try to park it into a better spot, but it falls on its side. As I escape it, a living rubber helper bolus, a good sibling of the felonious bolus from a PilotResSun’s video, is already there. He tells me it’s a rapist-only zone, and I should be careful.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
3 -
Probably a cook or a chef, I like the kitchen and cooking in general.
Maybe owning a small barbacue joint somewhere not so remote, like a route stop near some touristic place.2 -
Ah I see that work has gotten the best of you today. Go ahead and lay down, you have earned it - I’ll cook u some dinner. Put this hot towel on your forehead in the meantime and just relax :)3
-
function day() {
do {
if(baby.sleeps()) {
try {
sleep(getAlarmTime() - getTime());
} catch (e) {
wakeUp();
}
}
} while (getTime() < getAlarmTime());
eat(breakfast);
commute(work);
work();
eat(lunch);
work();
commute(home);
cook(dinner);
eat(dinner);
switch (babyStatus) {
case 'awake':
entertainBaby();
break;
case 'asleep':
if(getRandom(1, 100) === 100) {
doSideProject();
} else {
playOverwatch();
}
}
return;
} -
Me vs Myself
I lack of consistency in my life.
Except job, I work on single project for more then four years now.
Besides that I struggle so much to finish things I started or do one thing everyday or even every week for more then one month.
Trying to improve myself but it’s so hard and I don’t know when and how I lost this whole consistency I had that made me good self thought developer. Some people said best they’ve seen but I think I have a lot to learn.
It’s not that I don’t want to continue doing things I started previous day but my narrative self is harassing me so much that I don’t have vital power left.
Whenever I try to fight back it makes me weak and I can’t get up from bed so I lay and wait.
Sometimes I lay whole day and just wait.
When I do nothing my narrative inner voice find me instantly 100 other interesting things to do that make me excited, like:
- let’s check mail - oh new <picks technology> framework let’s try it,
- let’s check news
- let’s see how much <picks something> cost because you want it, buy this thing or you’re gonna die
- go out with this <picks a girl> or you’re gonna die alone
- hey <picks something> is cool let’s see how it works
- hey this <picks some problem> is cooler then the one you’re working on,
- how about to call <picks someone>
- how about go out it’s nice outside
- let’s cook this thing today you need to go to grocery
I don’t know how I figured out I need do nothing and wait to fight myself and do what I started not what my narrative voice want me but I see whole slightly improving now and doing nothing helps a lot.
It makes me focus on things I really want to do not things that are just waste of time.
Anyway thanks if anyone got to the end of this stupid story.
Have a nice day. Keep dreaming.
Peace ✌🏽1 -
Sex worker, perfumer, scientist, circuit engineer, musician (regular or session), makeup artist, soap maker, graphic or ui designer, voice actor, track bike racer, runner, swimming coach (or running coach or bike coach), dietitian, paramedic, repairman, cook, veterinarian, animal shelter worker, teacher, electrician8
-
Hindersi Magronä recipe:
- Butter
- 2-3 Onions, diced
- 300g Potatoes, diced
- 350g Maccheroni or just pasta
- 1 table spoon of dried chicken stock dissolved in water
- 20-30ml of hot water
- 30ml Heavy Cream
- 300g Parmigiano Reggiano
- Diced Bacon
- Coat a pan with butter
- Add onions, bacon and potatoes
- Cook untill onions are lightly golden
- Add the stock and stir
- Add the pasta
- Add enough hot water so its level is ~1-2cm above the pasta
- Cook untill the pasta is "al dente" and let the water evaporate untill ~1cm above the pan
- Add the heavy cream and cheese
- Cook and stir for 2min
Et voilà, Mac N Cheese with extra steps7 -
Good day to be motivated again because my analysis always stuck on my head and i forgot to cook bacon. I regret this feeling
-
"Delete all code!" That should be the mantra!
Was watching some stuff from destroyallsoftware.com. Not entirely convinced. So I should cook up my own shit.
So here is how the argument goes:
There's quite some negativity in the term "legacy" software. Partly it may be the envy to software that runs on actual machines and is not that phantasm, that perfect first lines on a greenfield project until it gets messed up as it has to put up with all the real world messiness. But the negativity it deserves is actually for the code that we cannot get rid of. This ugly class or function that soaked all the complexity and functionality so it defies any positive change. And always when it appears on your screen, it irks you, enrages you, makes you punch the screen, because you can almost feel the distaste physically. - *That* is the definition of "legacy" in its true negativity. No software should be like that. On the contrary. Every line should be replaceable, dispensable, disposable. At the verge to deletable. Because you know: the best code is no code.
This is where my hatred of code could get productive: Delete all the wretched, loathsome stuff and replace it, with something that just sucks less and can be thrown away any time. Don't expect beauty or perfect design. It'll never finish.3 -
This shit is long story of my computer experience over my lifetime.
When I was young I got my first PC with windows it was not so bad. It required safe shut down of it’s fat32 partition. From time to time I needed to reinstall it cause of slow down but I got used to it I was only a gamer.
Time passes and I got more curious about computers and about this linux. Everything worked there but installation of anything was complete madness and none of windows programs worked well, and I wanted to play games and be productive so I sticked with windows.
I bought hp laptop once with nvidia card, it was overheating and got broken. So I bought toshiba and all I told to the seller was I want ATI card. Took me 5 minutes to do it and I was faster then my friend buying pack of cigarettes because I was earning money using computer.
Then I grown up running my small one person programming businesses and I wanted to run and compile every fucking program on this world. I wanted linux shell commands. I wanted package manager, and I wanted my os to be simple because I wasn’t earning money by using my os but by programming. So after getting my paycheck I bought mac. I can run windows and linux on vm if I need it. I try not to steal someones work so I didn’t want to run hackintosh. I am using this mac for some time.
Also I use playstation for gaming. Because I only want to run and play game I am not excited about graphics but gameplay. I think I am pragmatic person.
I can tell you something about my mac.
When I close lid it go sleep when I open it wakes up instantly. I never need to wonder if I want to hibernate or shut down or sleep and drain battery. It is fucking simple.
When I want to run or open something it doesn’t want me to wait but it gives me my intellij or terminal or another browser or whatever I search for. Yeah search is something that works.
Despite it got 8 gigs of ram I can run whatever number of programs I want at the same speed. The speed is not very fast sometimes but it’s constant fast.
I have a keychain so my passwords are in one place I can slow down shared internet speed, I can put my wifi in monitor mode and I don’t need to install some 3rd party software.
And now I updated my mac to high sierra, cause it’s free and I want to play with ios compilation. Before I did it I didn’t even backup whole work. I just used time machine and regular backups. And guess what, it still works at the same speed and all I did was click to run update and cook something to eat.
When I got bored I close the lid, when got idea open lid and code shit, not waiting for fucking wakeup or fucking updates.
I wanted to rant apple products I use but they work, they got fucking updates all along at the same time. And all of updates are optional.
I cannot tell that about all apple products but about products I use.
I think I just got old and started to praise my limited time on this world. Not being excited about new crap. When I buy something I choose wisely. I bought iPhone. I can buy latest iPhone x but I bought iPhone 7 cause it’s from fucking metal. And I know that metal is harder then glass, why the fucking apple forgot about it? I don’t know.
I know that I am clumsy and drop stuff. Dropped my phone at least 100 times and nothing.
I am not a apple fan boy I won’t buy mac with this glowing shit above keyboard that would got me blind at night.
I buy something when I know that it can save my time on this world. I try to buy things that make me productive and don’t break after a year.
So now piece of advise, stop wasting your time, buy and update wisely, wait a week or a month or a year when more people buy shit and buy what’s not broken. And if something’s broken rant this shit so next customer can be smarter.
Cheers1 -
My phone is fucking hot.
I mean, nearly hand-burning hot.
Google services seem to be the cause, but disabling it... doesn't cool down the shit phone at all. Destroys a 1 amp charger. Tried uninstalling it and updating it again... nope!
Been doing this since this morning, no updates yesterday or anything - weird. It started when Inbox would keep crashing, even after a restart.
Time to change phone?8 -
Hey all, just wondering what it was like for you when starting out your career.
I'm a newish dev, been full time for about a year hired right after my internship. My role has a bunch of hats ranging from DevOps/sys admin to software engineering, sort of a weird mashup of skills so it's not pure software engineering. I mainly work with python, Ansible, and some terraform.
However I still just want to say I'm sorely disappointed in my undergrad classes.
I have a "concentration" in software engineering. I did struggle in classes as I was working full time to pay for classes without taking out loans, but I don't really remember learning a whole lot that was useful in industry.
Overall I just feel like just paid money for a degree that didn't teach me very much useful stuff. Maybe I'm just lacking experience? Maybe what I learned I just don't notice myself applying because it's subconscious?
My coworkers have taught me so much, and I'm very thankful they invested that time into me. I still get ripped to shreds during code reviews lmao (definitely not as much compared to when I first started but I'm also still learning and will always be)
Plus our company docs are pretty good so I can always read through them or search our codebase for examples on how to utilize in house tools etc.
I definitely hit the jackpot with this job, just feeling like I should have been prepared more.4 -
Just came home to cook supper at 11am again before I go back to the office to pull an all nighter to implement last minute changes thanks to a hosting provider in south africa getting hacked last Friday.
I love being a dev but this is one of those moments I really think to myself "your the moron that chose to do this for your career you twit" 😑6 -
After past few weeks of procrastination, finally began finishing my mobile app for my finals.
Not gonna lie, I've spent 2 weeks researching Flutter, and it seems it has at least 90% of stuff I need (I like dart, and I do not like java).
Now after I wrote a tiny bit of code, I noticed there's still stuff I do not understand, thus more research is needed. All of that for ~20 lines of code, then more research, then 2 lines of code, research, start everything over because I fucked up, again, and agian, again.......
Now that I've gotten that out, time to cook some appealing UI.4 -
I just hand to share this.
Got back from shift, currently 12 am.
Trying to cook rib eye. Went to grab skillet, accidently over a open flame. Heard a crackle and felt some heat.
Looked at forearm and I noticed that some of my arm hair was missing. It freakin burnt off and I could smell like something had burnt.
Wtf. I'm okay though. Just couldn't stop smiling. 😅
I didn't feel any pain though so just glad11 -
I really wanna make an AI that will reply all my messages, do all my programming, do my laundry, cook food, buy groceries & help me find my soulmate3
-
!dev Just a story.
So my wife is cooking me some stuffed pork in a George Foreman grill. The cut is very thick. She decides to cook the rest of the pork cuts in the oven. I am going to eat the one cooked in the grill.
So I decide to joke: "So am I getting trichinosis today?"
She: "Are you questioning my cooking ability! Get out!"
Me: "What?! Are you joking? Are you serious?" <I have no clue>
Next day:
Me: "Were you really upset about the trichinosis comment?"
Her: "Not really, I wouldn't poison you on purpose. Although you saying that kind of makes me feel like you doubt my cooking."
Me: "I was joking the grill might not get it all cooked. I don't doubt your cooking."
Her: "So my nefarious plan totally worked." <sends picture of ominous racoon wringing fingers together>
Me: "I have eaten some iffy shit over the years at home and abroad. I usually just shrug and wonder if I am gonna have diarrhea."
Her: <laughing for a good 5 minutes and sending me laughing memes>
No diarrhea today. All is well.1 -
For me, the biggest distraction is definitely hunger. It just pops up sometimes and overtime it gets unbearable. And then I need to cook something. So much wasted time.
-
So I work with a guy that is bald and has a bit of a beard going on. I joked that he looks like Walter White. I made this to give it to him.
2 -
It's been for a while that I'm dreaming about food ordering company where I can choose from the different foods in the way of: " I want 100g rice, 150g brokkoli, one baked potato...". Probably the calorie would be automatically added up maybe even the macros. The assembled packages for a week will come every day or single order would be possible as well. It's a so beautiful idea. Here we have some similar companies but they deliver raw stuff so there's still a hustle to cook it... And of course there is the fastfood nightmare... Imagine you could eat stuff you assemble yourself, you know the calories as well and there is no overhead of shopping and cooking. Basically every single all-you-can-eat could implement the idea. I'm really sorry that there's no such service. :( One day if I get really angry I will start it...1
-
Gosh, I don't know how people can be active on social media. I want more free time x) even if I'll probably cook or draw instead... Yeah I'm not good with society :D3
-
!tech (sorta)
I am a 24yo Software Engineer guy and had just started working professionally 2 years ago, and most of my work life went in WFH due to covid. Before that, my college was also near to my home, so i have never left my home for more than a few hours to do studies.
Life had went pretty smoothly so far but now I see a lot of hurdles coming into my path . i am 24 and don't have a license for even a 2 wheeler. I don't have a good idea of my own city (but fortunately it has a great infrastructure , so i know how to travel via public transport to anywhere easily). mainly I don't know how to live alone.
The worst thing currently happening for me is that my company is transforming from WFH to WFO. The office is in a different metropolitan city which is crazy expensive and short on space. I already am uncomfortable with the idea living on my own but the thoughts of sharing a room/bed with some other guy and having my savings cut from 90 to 50% is worse.
i am hopeful that the financial hit will not be that bad as appraisals are coming, but this picture of hustle is scary. will i indulge into bad habits (drinking, gambling, smoking)? will i loose my health? would i need to wash my clothes and cook my food everyday? would i even have time to think and watch some web series, video tutorial? would i cut cost everywhere? every thing is scary. the market is also very bad right now, i am not getting any interviews even after applying to many places.
how do you prepare yourself to live away from home? Also , how do you prepare your family to live away from you?
(for 2nd question, i am a single child of a nuclear family with rarely any relatives or friends. my parents , especially my mom have been super involved in my life and we both have an exteem8 attachment to each other. i have recently started going away for short trips and travels, but she gets super emotional and concerned on thinking about me living and managing things on my own , away from her)5 -
https://devrant.com/rants/1936381/...
Another day, another comment that just wont fucking post.
On Camping:
Rain IS camping weather.
All miserable weather is camping weather.
The function of camping is to remind you how great it is that you get to go home when you're done, and sleep in a warm, dry, comfy bed and not a canvas roof that leaks in the wrong place in a poorly insulated napsack on uneven ground while sleeping with thin canvas walls, on the ground, like a living human size lump of jerky for a hungry bear to wander by and gobble up.
Also waking up in the morning after being cold and miserable is amazing, because your body forcibly readjusts it's expectation of 'comfortable' just to fall asleep, and you just want to go back to bed instead of going into the cold and being awake where you have to experience the cramp in your neck you had from trying to get to sleep in an awkward attempt to get comfortable.
And after that, you cook bacon on the fire and drink black coffee, and feel like KING of the homeless people. King for a day.
And then you go home and THANK SWEET MARY'S TITTIES you do.3 -
just heard about an LG fridge with built-in Windows 10Tab:
"The fridge has an Intel processor and 2GB RAM. It will not replace your Desktop-PC!"
//you don't say2 -
So a coworker is having a conversation about travel:
Ted: I need a microwave in my room so I can cook food.
Coordinator: Okay, we can try and arrange that.
They finish talking about a couple of things. Coordinator is walking out of room.
Me (loudly): Cat's not gonna cook itself!
Ted: <nervous laughing>1 -
I'll start reading Rick Cook's books :)
I hope they are not too hard to understand for a non-english guy ^^
6 -
Week : 44
How is the weekend going?
What would you like to cook this weekend?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/107227129 -
- I love blowing my mind. Even if it is the most confusing thing. Things like security mechanisms, neurons' behaviors, mathematics (even tho I hate it when I fail lol), electronics, medical terminology and chemistry.
- I love collecting rare coins, personally never-seen stones and put them into my collection. I love to be a designer. Not only on my laptop. I have a book shelf and within that book shelf I put stones that create the yin yang sign while pushing the books to two sides. That makes them look like they are levitating. I have stones (including obsidian) that create a triangle and a knife hanging down the wall of my room.
- I love visiting touristic, historic, naturally-beautiful but also non-touristic (non-touristic? yes. by that I mean visiting e.g. the areas of touristic cities which are dangerous, because you can easily fall down off of a slippery ground and take serious injuries) places around the globe, talk to complete strangers in public (I am trying to be an extrovert), take pictures with my camera and collecting antiquities.
- I love taking risks (no. I don't play any poker games etc on the internet) without trying to put other people in risk. Driving insanely with whatever I have. Car, bike, you name it.
- I love reading books. Books that are about human psychology, fantasy novels and books about programming languages.
- I love to cook (I am at the beginning).
- I love to use the konMari method of tidying up my room.
- I love plants.
- I love having everything in my room tidied up (even if I am too busy with other stuff and skip this cleaning process for a week upto a month sometimes. Sorry, room.).
- I love doing sports. But mostly sport that I have never tried before. This can be, because of my greedy wish for an adrenaline kick. That led me into taking a balloon flight at 4 am (sunrise) and to paragliding at sunset above Mediterranean sea btw. (I am normally afraid of flying, but paragliding was awesome).
- I love swimming. Like, you cannot pull me out of the sea for a minimum of 2 hours, if it is not important.
- I love laying above the sea water and let the sea carry me to somewhere else.
- I love being alone. I love the silence. I love to be free in my thoughts.
- I love watching the sunset, the light that shines through the forest, the moonlight and the stars at night.
- I love dreaming. No, like, lucid dreaming for example.
- I love being open to any opinions.
- I love to learn about other people's views about the world and their religion.
- I love pets and would do anything to keep them alive when they are ill. It hurts my heart seeing them like this.
- I love watching demonic "A: Holy shit! Did you see this thing, too?! B: Yes!" YouTube videos just for the fun of it, but I hate horror movies and games.
- I love trying out new things. The creation of music and video for example.
- I love to give my hair and beard a shape, if I am too lazy to go to the barbershop lol. By that I don't mean just going to the barbershop, but taking an electric razor and cutting my hair myself even if I get bad results from time to time that can be corrected by letting any family member tell me in which area of of my head the hair problem is.
- I don't like disco clubs.
- I don't like toxic people even though I can be a quite toxic person myself without realizing it. If I appear toxic to you, inform me about it. Having so much testosterone in that moment, can make me do things that I don't want to do.
- I don't like drugs even tho I have to admit that I am trying a few from time to time (maybe 6 months in-between) to have a dopamine kick. I am not an addict.
- I hate myself for things that I did in the past.
- I used to watch MMA videos etc.
- I used to use a telescope, but I can't find it anymore.
- I used to have a microscope, but I can't find it anywhere and besides of that the seller did literally piss in it before selling it to me many years ago. Don't want to touch it tbh.
- I used to play games, but I don't enjoy games anymore. That makes me feel sad.
- I miss the old moments of my life.
In conclusion:
I like how things went and go so far. It changed me so much. It made me a good and a bad person. I became more open and confident, but it also particularly made me a leader who can say "fuck off" in a bad way to his family. I would like to undo this particular part of me.5 -
A cook or a chef, pretty honorable field of work... but the job is hard, stressful, long hours and the pay can often be terrible, so you definitely need passion.
To be honest, all my chefs friends work harder than anyone else I know.1 -
I'm working with a nice piece of code written 6 years ago by somebody who isn't in the company anymore and only the fact that they live on the other side of the continent prevents me from physically strangling them.
They must have thought that they were very smart trying to use JavaScript as a functional language. A shitload of library-specific decorators that ultimately don't do shit except for raising the cognitive load of anybody who hasn't worked with it before. Why the fuck did you use 'curry' in a function that then is never called in a functional manner? Because fuck me, go check the documentation of ramda because you obviously have too much time at work if you ask questions, just to learn fuck all.
It fascinates me how people take this steaming pile of shit that is JavaScript and then try to work against all its design assumptions to create something that is even more slimy, disgusting and smelly. It shows a radical misunderstanding of what you're even working with.
Take shit, add straw and you might have a docent construction material. Take shit, sprinkle it with chilli and try to eat it and it's just hot shit. But at least you will make everyone else try to find out why the fuck is that chilli in there because why would you expect it there. I'm a coprologist, not a cook.2 -
Mark: hey guys I wanted to connect with you all (on FB) and have a quick chat before the meeting.
Cook, Pichai, Bezos: ok, mhhm... what's up?
Mark: yes so I think we gonna be in for a grilling so want make sure we minimize the damage.
All: uhhm....
Mark: I'm suggesting we agree on the order which we join the webex so we don't look bad..
Pichai, Cook: I don't get it...
Bezos: ... oh I think I get it.... you mean appearing as FAAG?
Cook: hmm..
Pichai: what's that?
Mark: not important but anyway... The solution is simple.
Bezos: yes Sundar just login first and I guess can send us all push notifications to our phones.
Pichai: hm... Ok... Wouldn't this get us in trouble though.... This sounds like collusion...
Mark: ok guys... Uh let's just end it here then... This chat Never happened...
-
The Michelin star chef says to a fast-food line cook:
— In my restaurant, we don't use mayonnaise. Better even, I don't need mayonnaise, so as my fellow Michelin star chefs.
— You are idiot. We use mayonnaise and the burgers taste like crap without it.
— Perhaps it's because your recipes are trash and your products are made from waste materials?
— Look. I consulted with my fellow cooks from KFC, McDonald's, Burger King — all huge, billion-dollar companies, and they too are using mayonnaise. The whole world uses it. If you don't use mayonnaise, you can't cook tasty. End of discussion.
That's how I feel when someone defends unit tests. Matter of fact, I can't stand _both_ tests and mayonnaise. Coincidence?24 -
I have waited a couple of months, so I hope the airport has changed their settings.
But hey if you need a free commercial spot in dusseldorf airport you could give it a try.
2 -
When I browsed for a Food Recipes (Especially Indian Food) Dataset, I could not find one (that I could use) online. So, I decided to create one.
The dataset can be found here: https://lnkd.in/djdh9nX
It contains following fields (self-explanatory) - ['RecipeName', 'TranslatedRecipeName', 'Ingredients', 'TranslatedIngredients', 'Prep', 'Cook', 'Total', 'Servings', 'Cuisine', 'Course', 'Diet', 'Instructions', 'TranslatedInstructions']. The datset contains a csv and a xls file. Sometimes, the content in Hindi is not visible in the csv format.
You might be wondering what the columns with the prefix 'Translated' are. So, a lot of entries in the dataset were in Hindi language. To take care of such entries and translating them to English for consistency, I went ahead and used 'googletrans'. It is a python library that implements Google Translate API underneath.
The code for the crawler, cleaning and transformation is on Github (Repo:https://lnkd.in/dYp3sBc) (@kanishk307).
The dataset has been created using Archana's Kitchen Website (https://lnkd.in/d_bCPWV). It is a great website and hosts a ton of useful content. You should definitely consider viewing it if you are interested.
#python #dataAnalytics #Crawler #Scraper #dataCleaning #dataTransformation -
iPad passcode,iTunes
I get home from work after a busy day in the office and try to use my iPad to catch on some Android books had saved for offline reading there.
I can't use the devii as it's off and so power it up and coming back later to use my buggy mind can't recall the passcode.
To make it worse hadn't synched it with iTunes on my machine and am fucked.
I try some few passcodes with no avail and call the shorts a full reset though all have to lose all data damn Tim Cook and company. -
Maybe this is off topic, but currently I have a rant so intense that I just want to post this anywhere I can rant.
I am not sure how to cook But I am interested to become a chef. My dream is to be a chef. That's it. I have seen the cooking in a recent popular action RPG game, Cooking Mama 2. And I will get my hands dirty and syart spending hours to become a chef
Chef is cool. So even I don't know anything about cooking, I got the gut to get into my Mama's kitchen and look around for some ingredients.
Day one, I can instantly make the best food. I am a prodigy.
I made a Kale Salad. It tastes good. I can't resisit sharing my great food to my Mum and my friends
'hey, I am a genius chef !!"
But they laugh at me, 'Lol, you are a recipe kiddie.'
Omg, why are they so rude? they are jealous at me because they don't know how to cook? Lol -
!rant
Just finishes my ITIL course (basically IT support management). It was pretty interesting, if somewhat irrelevant to me, but I got paid to do it (and get a qualification) so that's fine.
My issue was with one specific thing the instructor said - 'IT support always complain people who can't fix basic issues shouldn't be allowed to use computers. Wrong. Customers don't need to know anything about IT, that's your job'.
His analogy was that we can drive, or cook with a microwave, but we don't know how cars or microwaves actually work in at a technical level. In the same way, customers can use Word, but need us to recover their deleted files and install Office.
This seems sensible, but if you follow the analogy, there's a disparity.
I might not be able to *fix* a microwave, or know how the components inside it work. I can, however, cook with it. I know it won't work if the door isn't closed, or if it isn't plugged in.
Similarly, you need a license to drive.
Customers don't need to be able to *fix* the tools, but they should be able to *use* them properly. Turn them on, log in, open & use some programs, browse the web, etc. If they aren't confident in this - well, why are we giving an expensive bit of kit to them? I wouldn't hand a chainsaw to someone who doesn't know how to use it. Or a fine piece of china to someone clumsy.
I think people should need to prove they can use the tools before they are allowed them. They'd be happier in the long run.2 -
I try to find new stuff which is related to what I already know or is close. I like learning new technologies and techniques 😄. By this I continuously gain more knowledge thereby making me a better developer.
-
Stop thinking about it. Personally I like to take a long coffe break, go out with friends, cook something, or my fav to learn something completly different, like a new word in a foreign language or some random shit.2
-
POCing a neural network thing.
Luckily it's a shallow network, but it's taking a frickin' eternity to train :( -
[googling devRanters before wasting time with Google]
Any of you does know of a cooking app/service where you can input the food that you have, the tools that you have and get back the recipes ordered by, for example, time-to-cook, the cooking difficulty and tastiness (the last one defined as how much of flavoured is the final meal)?14 -
this happens when i am learning something new and however much i try, i cannot solve a problem, i go home and cook. Clean the kitchen in best possible way. Eat with peace and voila.. things start making sense. :)
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i am so fucking conflicted right now. seeing my fiture getting ruined in front of my present eyes. Life always gives me a chance to jump out of a ship that's about to fucking blow , i took it the first time, but this time i missed it for bravery ( and stupidity), and now am sinking alongside this fucking ship
my first job was amazing. decent work, sometimes a lot and sometimes too less. i would learn new things ,interact with people, handle a lot of fuckups . at one point i felt like looking for another opportunity , got one giving 50% hike , so i jumped the ship and sent a resignation letter. the noitice peripd was less, so i enjoyed my days applying to other ships. got even a better offer with 100% hike, so from one boat to another to now a literal cruise.
later i got to know that my original company got bankrupt and fired 85% staff. the next month the company that gave me the first offer layed off 30% staff.
now the waters are tough and my cruise is also getting impacted. but instead of firing, they are asking us to come to the office permanently. their office is in a fucked up place: you need 8$ just to breath the fucking air there. its the city of blood and money. and you will be giving away both things there.
my brain got split into 2 parts after this announcement: my stupid self was still considering this while my sensible self started applying for jobs. my stupid self was thinking that this is a great opportunity to leave my fucking nest of a home , where i am liv8ng woth my parents for last 25 years, and learn to live alone. clean utensils, cook food , wash clothes... i wanted to live the life the harsh way.
but life still took a pity on the fool that j am and gave me an opportunity. an opportunity to work with a big brand who hasn't done any layoffs in their 40+ yrs of existence (but also known for giving shit increments)
the offer was just a 40% hike but it was near my home. i could be in office in 1 hr in less than a dollar a day and still earn more than what am earning now.
plus my notice period is now 60 days , so who knows what other offer i could have got in those 60 days ( when i would keep my profile with a big green "immediately available to hire" circle on me.
however this time i didn't jump the boat. i asked them for a bigger raisez they declined and my stupid self was more than happy.
now the company has started to send mails regarding relocation and yepp the cruise is sinking , atleast for me. if i was savingsx in this company, my savings would become x/8 if i go to that city. in the new offer it would have at worst remained x.
and that's not even half of what's bothering me. i had accepted the money loss in exchange of what that city and my company had to offer : a chance to experience WFO, a chance to live life like a mature man and not a kid in his mom's house ,and a life full of hurdles and strangers.
however i always like to keep an emergency fallback mechanism on me , for if things don't work out. I don't wanna go depressed and cut my wrists there, I don't want people to hurt me so much that I can't recover. i want to run away from that wreched city the moment i start to loose the battles there and the city starts taking over me.
but what the holy fuck? my company's notice period is 60 days, and my rented room's security deposit is 6 fucking months? i will be giving 6 months of deposit + 1 month of brokerage + 1month of rent on the first day i put my steps on that wretched land after travelling in a 100 dollar flight! where am i supposed to get this much money?!
and okay, somehow i manage this. say i did an 11 months agreement, paid the fucking 8 months of rent at one go and simply started living a shitty life there. in month 2 i break down and wanted to implement my escape mechanism. it would go like this : i will suck up and try to live for rent free for next 6 months. but wait, THAT'S NOT FUCKING ALLOWED!! iam supposed to get my security AFTER 11+1 MONTHS!! why not freaking adjust it in my rent?
I can't think straight . 6 months of security deposit has blown my brain. i am regretting anything and everything. I can't think of my roommates situation, home safety, room location, whatever the fucks we think while looking for a room . all i can think is ...WHY SO MUCH MONEY NEEDS TO GO AT ONCE!?
FUCK1
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