Guys, I am studying for my Master's degree but I am wondering if I should stop.... I mean... isn't that racist?

Flirting! Life as a programmer has me irrationally attracted to nerds. A recent flirty exchange included something like this - "I'll build your environment, baby. I will build it with the finest, artisanally-crafted shell scripts so it can built and rebuilt over and over again.."

My friends think it's weird that all my crushes are neither good looking nor social. I don't think they'd ever understand.

Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

age += 1

The dev secret...

Are you kidding me? 😂
This progress bar is the best

Indian Journalism Please

Worst meeting?

A tech review where a senior developer presented my code and slightly modified ui as his own.

Only things he changed were the button colors and title of the app. When he switched to the code, my comments were still there.

It was the worst meeting because my boss said, in all seriousness, "It looks great!" 😦

In devrant, I am but a variable that is being incremented and decremented.

I am Root

When you're just trying to be helpful and contribute to the # Linux kernel

Who else has the ctrl+s reflex... I do it on everything 😐

Come back from vacation to find that 80+ e-mails were sent out to the entire team for a critical process that was failing to run due to an incorrect password. No one did anything for a week. Fixed it in 30 seconds.

Even JavaScript doesn't misbehave when a semicolon is missing. What the hell does CSS think of itself?

This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined.

So I have a crush on a co-worker, she is also a dev. She is very cute despite her simplicity. I really wanted to talk to her, but I can't start a normal conversation with her. My mind just goes haywire.

BUT, just in case she is also on devRant:

If you happen to be reading this, I am the guy seated opposite the other table, we are facing each other. I liked you ever since the company outing. You are very cool and I want to spend more time with you.

:)

When you pour coffee into this, it instantly freezes

Teaching maths to my niece and instead of 2+2=4, I wrote 2+2==4... someone needs break from coding 😂

Seems like spagetthi code does not work as printer's driver.

Sums it up well

You know you're in the zone when you're working on your laptop on the train and you miss your station and the two after that.
Your commute card are missing two zones and you get off with a stern warning instead of paying the penalty of travelling without a ticket...
#Developersdisease

wtf?!?! now it's going to rain ELEPHANTS? ??

How I've decided to answer the "can you hack" question from here on in...

"Can you show me how to hack this account please?"

"Sure, you'll need a hammer, a blow torch, chloroform, some pliers and couple of bottles of really pure vodka!"

"What the hell?!"

"Oh, it's so much quicker to just extract a password from a person, than it is to break into a system, I'm not exactly trained in inflicting pain on the human body, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out through trial and error, good luck!"

True story.

Keep the faith :D

(Found on 9gag)

Boy: I love You
Girl: I have a boyfriend
Boy: sudo I love You
Girl: Please enter root password:
Boy: 123456789
Girl: Wrong. Please enter root password:
Boy: root
Girl: Wrong. Please enter root password:
Boy: qwerty
Girl: Wrong. You have tried 3 times.
Girl: I have boyfriend.
Boy: Dammit.
Girl: Command not found.

One of those days

How to get your money from a difficult client.

Sending HTTP status code 200 with error info in the body

Kid : How many grams are one kilograms.

Me: 1024 grams.

Kid : :/