Not a rant, but had to come here to post this.

I couldn't resist pranking my wife with the age old "Oh my God, I broke your laptop" prank.

SHE DID NOT FIND IT AS FUNNY AS I DID.

Anyone else tried it? If not, definitely try it.

Does anyone know any algorithms for generating crop circles?
I would Google it but "crop circle codes" doesn't exactly give me what i want.

My gaming pc is now beautiful

My boss keeps pushing me to do „any“ courses..
I’d say I’m doing my job exceptionally well. In fact he even told me before he promoted me.

I had to tell him what I wanna learn in the next 2-3 years. I told him I wanna be decent in C++ because i love the language and in my opinion every dev can improve by learning a low level language.

Have some MITx courses and stuff I wanna do (I actually want to do them) but he keeps pushing me to send him the courses so he can push me and (I think) Monitor my progress..

C/Cpp and asm have always been my love, I wanna improve and learn. But I wanna do it for myself, not for my boss. The company doesn’t have any use for it anyway..

And those courses are 4 weeks to 12 months with scheduled assessments.

I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Now it’s an expectation they have.

Now I have to force myself into doing those courses in time.. on a schedule..?

90% of then will bore the shit out of me cause I already know it and the remaining 10% are stuff I wanna look at when I feel like it. But I don’t have a paper that says I know those 90% so yeah..

Why can’t he just be happy with the work I do during working hours and leave my free time up to me???

God I'm fucking done for today.

We just finished a "Climate-conference-simulation" in school.

Basically ~90 students split into 6 groups representing a delegation of a country or a group of countries.

EU,
USA,
India,
China,
Other developing countries,
Other industrial countries

The target of our efforts was the reduction of global warming from ~4 C° by 2100 to around 2 C°.

My group (USA) elected me to speak and represent (I did kind of mimic the American stereotype of being egoistic and self centered, no offence intended)

As all the other nations and groups were planning great schemes, my group simply continued to put, well, basically rocks in their path by not playing along cause aforementioned stereotype.

It's the working phase after the second presentation of results, I'm sitting there with parts of the Chinese and EU delegation and suddenly two of my friends, in different groups, put my hood over my head, drag/carry me out of the assembly hall, toss me out and leave me there.

Was funny and all, but damn, it's fucking exhausting to stand in front of around 100 people (including teachers and stuff) and completely not play along with the other group's opinions and plans.

But hey, I've been congratulated a lot of times cause I've perfectly stayed in my role.

Yes it was weird

Software tester here. Developers what do you think about us honestly? Do you enjoy testers who point out bugs directly or are we a pain in the ass? I feel like developers appreciate my work. I can ask them questions and they are happy I can point out flaws in the app directly. It's also fun to do as a temporary job now.

When I'm tired, I can't do a damned thing. If it takes effort or concentration, I'm useless. Games are just frustrating. If it's something enjoyable, I simply can't care enough to enjoy it. If I read a book, I can't focus on the words, and won't remember anything I read. If its mindless like watching Netflix, I won't remember the next day, or rather I'll remember just enough to ruin it for myself.

So why not sleep?

Because I've been feeling like this every day, all day long for months. No, that vile liquid called coffee doesn't help. If I rest my eyes and stop thinking for a few minutes, I wake up a little and can function normally for a minute or two before passing out again. I'm not depressed, or at least I don't think I am. I feel like my brain died or got replaced with a lizard's.

And this sucks because I'm still during the probation period at work, and learning the sprawling and intricate codebase is actually challenging. And they're giving me large tickets because I was a dummy and impressed them too much.

Idk what's wrong with me, but I hope it stops soon.
I miss being able to think and plan and do anything besides just struggle to stay awake. 😞

Python 2, officially dead!!😰

*Working on app for client*
After review - “Can you make that font bigger?”
*Makes font larger*
After review a week later - “Can you make that font smaller?”
*Puts font back to original size*
Another review later on - “Can you make that font bigger?”
*Keeps font at same size and changes nothing*
Next review - “That new font size is perfect!”

So, me and my girlfriend were on a discord call and she said to me: "You know how you can get lost in someone's eyes? Well, I get lost in your code".

I've never been more touched and conflicted in my life. 🥰🤨

Special place in hell for those who have autoplay video on their website, especially news sites

I saw a guy building a website today.
No React.
No Vue.
No Ember.
He just sat there.
Writing HTML.
Like a Psychopath.

HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?

Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.

HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.

Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks

Types of personalities

The rant starts here

well, sorry Dave

So much for purely functional programming language.

Made a program to list primes until stopped. I got to about 2 billion when it took 8 GB of RAM and I more or less had to stopped it.

Only took 10% of CPU though.

I used Haskell today!

Am 23, I plan to have 4 kids in the future.

This will be their first names
1. Ruby - Female name
2. Pearl - Female name
3. Haskell - Male name
4. Python - Last born. Most loved. But am sure he will hate me for his name😂😂

All I need is a wife now or a girlfriend could do🤔...

People with programming languages named after them:

Haskell Curry
Ada Lovelace
Agner Erlang
Blaise Pascal
Taylor Swift

*client calls in*

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.

*click*

😶