The rant starts here

Being paid to rewrite someone else's bad code is no joke.

I'll give the dev this, the use of gen 1,2,3 Pokemon for variable names and class names in beyond fantastic in terms of memory and childhood nostalgia. It would be even more fantastic if he spelt the names correctly, or used it to make a Pokemon game and NOT A FUCKING ACCOUNTANCY PROGRAM.

There's no correspondence in name according to type, or even number. Dev has just gone batshit, left zero comments, and now somehow Ryhorn is shitting out error codes because of errors existing in Charmeleon's asshole.

The things I do for money...

Programmers: Always use descriptive variable names.

Mathematicians: Single letter variable names always, ideally from obscure/dead alphabets.

Src: Twitter

Trying to come up with function names when it does more than one thing.

My boss just revised my report and sent it back with new file names. Memes have officially infiltrated the workplace.

If you name your methods a, b, c, x, z, etc

Then I hate you.

If the idiot wants me to help then use proper method names!

Programmer's hardest tasks 😁

At least they made it easier to keep track of names?

Anyone ever noticed the names Github gives to their releases for Github Desktop?

When you want to go home from the airport but some morron names his hotel "at home"

DevConfession

I often google names for my variables to see if I find a betrer fitting synonym that reads better

In all honesty, if there was a course on giving variables good, informative and not completely stupid names... I would take it.

Just registered two domain names just for the pun I can make with them.

😅😊

I recently suggested we start giving our releases code names, so that they accurately describe our client's change requests.

The idea was quickly rejected after I suggested the first two code names be "#yolo" and "Leeroy Jenkins"

Apparently I'm the only one that thought it was funny.

These are some of the team names for my University's System Programming class. Thought you all would enjoy...

Take a look at the Linux kernel names on Wikipedia, thank me later.

Meaningful variable names

Funny SSID names?

When your floor names a room Galileo and you have @bachmanity as a co-worker...

Worst part of being a dev. Figuring out names

Coding nightmare -> the guy who wrote this application I guess wanted job security? At the VERY least to be a pain in the ass to anyone else who touches his code....WHO NAMES THEIR VARIABLES PEOPLE NAMES?!?!? do I know what "Beth" or "Sarah" stand for? ummmm....no 😢

Bad things should happen to people who put spaces in table names and fields.

Favorite development tool: Thesaurus.

Method/variable names are difficult dammit.

When you're 6 hours in coding C and notice that you've been using the python code style guide.

Naming contest:

These two 'new' servers need hostnames.
Names must be within the following constraints:

* Names must be female
* Names must be pronouncable and writable in ASCII standard set of characters.
* Names are preferred to reference to duo's, like sisters, twins, dynamic duo's like chip and dale, but female.

Previous servers were name 'tairu' & 'mairu' (heroic age) and 'karen' & 'tsukihi' (nisemonogatori)

Let's see if the devrant community can surprise me.

Entries will be closed within 48 hours of this post.

Just got picked up for a project. 20,000+ code base, no comments, no docs, variable names like x, xx, xxx, no function name conventions, and a mishmash of Czech, French and English class names.

I thought this job was too good to be true. #fml

Big names here on DevRant...

Girls are like Internet domain names,the ones I like are already taken.😕

AWS is so complicated, it could be a full-time job to only understand all their names and stuff

Indian code. Check out the variable names. What a mess.

If you ever come across a Java codebase with capitalized method names, RUN. I should've taken this advice years ago.

Who prefers long descriptive variable names compared to variables that are acronyms?

The pains of coming up with short but meaningful variable names 😣

User: “I’ve tried hundreds of different names. How come all the usernames are registered?!😤”
Developer: ”I’m quite confident about my code. Can’t find any issue in this login form.🤔”
QA: “It passed all unit tests. We did a comprehensive testing on live server by registering all the possible names. What can go wrong?🙀”

The kind of method names you get for making me go to work on Saturday

My co-worker gave me assets for my project with names like- layer_1, layer_1_copy, layer_1_copy_copy...

Deciding a domain or project name, got to be the next worst after naming variables and exposed method names

Just so you know.
In node js.
You can use emojis as methods names. For real.

FUTURE 😄

Just wow...

Worst part about being a dev is figuring out good variable names and function names.

When someone writes class names lowercase and methods uppercase in Java.

Thought Amazon servers went bonkers seeing these names. Later realized these are episode names for TV series, Mr Robot.

So I coded til 5AM today and went to school at 7. I'm so groggy I couldn't remember my classmates' names and ended up describing them to people.

That moment when you already used i, j and k for variable names in your loops.

Never name two different variables with the ALMOST same name or It will stop your work for a hours. I named one "lang" and anothers "langs"

Variable names DO matter.

Use Meaningful variable names, they said.

Friend : I know how to program!
Me : Cool! What language do you program in?
Friend opens notepad and names file program.bat
You have disappointed me

That moment when coding all day makes you... Creative... Hmhm.

Classmates having trouble with their mess of spaghetti code and improperly named variables (I saw variable names like "poop" already).

If I could go back in time and slap myself for these variable names and this "code" alltogether, I would bring a pan with me!!!

Not sure if those are real song names or Spotify is trolling me when I try to trigger a "no results" UI in my app.

Apple’s new iPhone lineup has confusing names:

- iPhone extra regular liquid liquid crystal display
- iPhone extra small
- iPhone extra small maximum

Pet peeve of the day: People littering code with comments that repeat already obvious method names.

// Submits public key password
SubmitPublicKeyPassword(string psw)
{
//...
}

Naming shit is truly the hardest part of coding.

Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:

execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();

I wish I knew for sure I wouldn't offend certain people if they read this. I'll be vague for a reason..

WHY THE FUCK ARE. PI WRITING A PROGRAM IN A LANGUAGE OF YOUR LIKING AND THEN TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH FILE TO UPLOAD?!,!,!? How about the ones that make it work?

And why did you send the program, unformatted? This hurts.

I'm trying to teach these children how to fucking be professional in their jobs and this is what I'm working with.

How hard is it to know your tools and pick one that shows you know what you're doing????

And all this after the deadline, and the language written wrong

I use variable names so bad that even i forget what they mean

Dim [Dim] As Short

Why you ask? For the glory of satan of course!

Was my prev dev fucking high or what?
Who names an UPDATE Query as delete.
That shitfuck deserves a special place in hell.

Name ideas for this girl? (I know she's a girl, I checked.)

Some people say they use dark themes because it looks cool, but we all know it's for when you're up late programming and don't want your eyes shot to pieces.

Starting my first front end dev job in 3 weeks AAHHHHH!!

The imposter syndrome is real.

When you have been anonymously voted for the team leader and you know only two names from your 80 people class.

I think yesterday I was drunk or very tired

Why did I mix English and Swedish variable names?

You can only use letters and spaces for names...
WELL FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOUR STUPID DEVS!
FUCK THIS!
(still a cool service tho)

So when I was working for a web dev shop, one of the clients asked us to have a drop down of all the different combinations you can have for street types to appear on the address form of their shopping cart. So stuff like "Street", "St", "Drive", "Dr", "Lane", "Ln" etc. We told the client that it wasn't possible since the possible combinations and how some street don't all end with a type.

But the client was adamant about having this so we ended up building a section in the administration section to allow the client to add any new street type to a database table that will populate the dropdown.

hearing many of these companies names, for the first time

...i just remembered why I have a MasturbatorPattern repository on my bitbucket, why is it named that way, and what it does.

It's one of the core abilities of that magical AI i've mentioned in my previous rant. And it's called that way, because of how it works:

The Agent has some objects (as in, class instances) available to it, and wants to get some other kind of object. So it inspects by reflection ("touches") all objects around itself, inspecting their public functions, building up a plan/path/tree of "this function takes the object I have as input, and returns this other object which this other function of other object takes as input and returns this different object, which...." etc, etc, until the final function returns the object the Agent wanted to get in the first place.

And then it goes and "does" all those functions, in that order piping the parameters through.

So first it touches them (second layer of metaphor - linux finger command), and then it does those which output (ejaculate =D) something useful to it.

Therefore, MasturbatorPattern =D

Not sure if my sense of humor is just weird or outright unfunny.

I like to come up with superhero names for my docker containers. That makes me feel like the Uber-villain when I run "docker kill elasticman"

Found this on the internet. credits to the artist

Worst project I had was when I was asked to just copy-paste code and change the names of variables. Yeah, that's it, nothing more than that.

What docker means:
Sorry pal, service names mustn't contain spaces

What docker says:
desc = name must be valid as a DNS component

Programming challenges:

Easy: Hello World!
Medium: Matrix multiplication
Hard: Artificial intelligence
Impossible: Coming up with meaningful names for variables and scripts...

Some people need to understand commit names

So since JARVIS (Just a Rather Very Intelligent System) is out.

Only ALFRED is left.

*popular AI child names*

Had to download eclipse ide for a project
Latest release is called neon
Guess they ran out of cool planet names
😀

Document your code, Don't give your variables silly names. Use git !!

For all those lazy people who hate writing long domain names: DDG is now available also on duck.com domain

Best Practice: variables with meaningful names.
Me: variables named after stuff from the Marvel universe.
End result: Debugging after 6 months. WTF is mjolnir6 ???

I CANT PICK NAMES FOR ANYTHING UGH

Some actual company names I see out of the corner of my eye that make me think of Mr. ROBOT
Iron Mountain : Steel Mountain
Allstate : Allsafe

Taking a rough stab at the method name and arguments because the documentation is bollocks, Runs exactly as you hoped it would on the first try

Not giving functions/methods proper names.

Ever find when you're working on a personal project that you spend more time trying to think of good names for classes than actually writing code?

If I had a penny for every time I misspelt 'nginx', I'd be richer that Bill Fucking Gates.

Could you have picked a more typo-prone name!?

!rant

Quotation marks names (correct me if I'm wrong because a lot of people are calling them differently so welp)

[ ] = brackets

{ } = braces

' = single quote / apostrophe

` = grave accent

Just because I'm sick of having to guess what people are asking me to do while they change the names each time.

I'm doing my own sci-fi D&D story and need some new weapons! So why not use programming names? 🤔

So far:
voidpointer
nullifier
destructor
finalizer

One player is also a dev and I want to trigger him as hard as I can 😈

Figuring out where to put my devRant stickers is like picking variable names.

Except you can't refactor stickers...

I hate when people use foo and bar in sample codes as names of variables.

Start building first! You can think about variable names later 😜

That moment when you run out of names in games

when you're copying code from stack overflow and you have to change the class names

It has been 3 hours.... and I still don't know what to call my new repo.

"What kernel version do you use?"
"Hurr durr I'ma sheep!!"

When your dev's copy and paste code and don't bother changing the (completely irrelevant and misleading) variable names.

I bought this beer just because of it's name. Is there any whiskies or other drinks with geeky names?

dfox and trogus are devrant++ users but there names are not listed in devrant++ supporters list..
You both missed to add your names.. or took the privilege of being the founders and developers..

Man, some of the cancerous company names I see on here.

“Nshitia”, “Microshaft”, etc. How old are you? 4? You weaken everything you say when you use these pathetic pet names for companies you dislike.

Naming variables with meaningful names

Just inherited a project from a "senior" with the variable names 'gggg' and 'ssss' in it...

Superpower to instantly create variable names every time I need to declare a new variable based on the perfect matching with the code being written..

Previous dev needed to validate new user names as unique. His solution? Query Top 1000 rows and do a string comparison. Totally scalable, amirite?

"You know what really grinds my gears?":

Please stop saying your a coder!!!
Also don't say others are 'coders'…
This irritates me so much...
Sure you write code... Your a programmer not a coder...
Damn horrid term coder! The correct terminology is programmer!

Yesterday evening I began working on an SSL proxying system for dynamic domain names using Let's Encrypt. I finished just a few hours ago and it's working flawlessly!

A: Hey, let's brainstorm for a good name for our new hipster coffee.
B: Ice-Coffee!
C: Cool-Coffee!
D: Karacho!

A: Take my money!

______
I'm not quite sure, but doesn't Karacho mean Penis in Spanish?

Unintuitive APIs, with poor documentation and terrible parameter names. It's like they don't want me to use it

I just love making git commits with cool or funny names.
Don't you love it too ?

New PM thinks it's a great idea to start micromanaging my team's (private) repo names. Can't wait to hear his opinions on our class and variable names! 😭

Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.

Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..

I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...

Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...

Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....

Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.

I am going to get drunk now.

X

Descriptive variable names and method names > comments

devRant I want you to meet Stressy the Stressball.

What did you name yours?

So adobe is changing product names again... Xd

Sometimes I spend way too much time on variable names xD

Someone needs to make a site that generates cool project names because I swear it's the hardest decision to make.

When you earn your HOT new stickers from the DevRant team!

Giving interesting names to boring projects to make them sound cool and get others interested.

When u send ur code for review and instead of getting comments for logic u put in, u get 10+ comments regarding variable names , extra lines and formatting.
LMF

Such variable names
much helpful
very wow!

Either I need to download sdk source code for var names to show up correctly or I need to memorize which is for what :\

When you are tired of adding features and now out of names for classes

When you mad with your manager so make all object names in your code the names of the seven dwarves.

Holy shit the commit names on cimg library are insane

Developers who think using cryptic variable names (like acronyms) is better than long descriptive variable names.....but then feel the need to document/comment the variable name rather than just naming the variable properly in be first place.

// Current CGRect to draw into
let ccgrd = self.currentCGRect()

Instead of just

let currentRectForDrawing = self.currentCGRect()

Something about those names is bamboozling...

I hate people who put underscore at the beginning of private variables names in Typescript. And I don't care if they have their reasons, I just hate them.

Guys we need to have more people who have their names as commands. Like @tar-cvzf or @rm-r

My boss: Can you write something to append the product names with their descriptions?

Sure. Sure you want that?

Yes. Asap please.

Okay, I'll finish it this today.

*Done

Finished it, want me to publish this to production?

Yeah.

(One week later)

Did you put those name changes online?

Yes, why.

Oh damn, your co-worker, D. Trump, has changed a lot of the names so they index better on Google. You should check those kind of things before changing it online.

Right..

Concerns a few thousand products. Long story hah

Tldr; updated many product names overriding many hours of manual labour.

I worked at a startup that indulged in pair programming thing. Where as a junior, you'd be partnered with a senior developer.

My mentor, always insisted on having shortest variable names possible, so that the "size of codebase" will be very small.

It was a nightmare going through his code and understanding what's he's done. Best part, no comments as well.

In a way it has primed me to go through any codebase possible.

Keeping my layer names as clean and explicit as my variables when I am designing.

I will never leave an "New Layer 1" untouched!

project#2.1

who the fuck names a php login script 'entry.php'

My wife often listen my rants about stupid clients, she thinks that I hope to much from them. Like image as actual image not fucking embedded in word document.
Today she agreed to help her friend and make name cards for tables. Got list of names ;) one photo of paper with hand written names on it :D

I'm working with dictionaries today so naturally all my variable names are making me chuckle:
threshDic
saveDic
cutDic
Etc. you get the picture, it's the little things that get you through a Friday slog.

I really hate api response variable names like this. I mean why type "targetitemid" when "target_item_id" is so much more readable?

Just another day of trying to figure out The purpose of a public method with zero documentation and cryptic variable names🙇🏼🙇🏼🙇🏼

One of the things why I like working with Linux, you get to see cool names lol

Please, please for the sake of your born/unborn child, check whether the names of the entity attributes are not valid sql keywords.

GF : Who's the name of that guy who plays Count Olaf in the Netflix's Unfortunate Events series, again? You know, Barney Stinson?
Me : Hmm, it would be Tim Berners-Lee I think... At least that's the name that comes to my mind.
*checks*
Me : FUCK, NO. It's Neil Patrick Harris! Tim is the creator of the WWW...

Shame on me, but at least I remember the most important names better 😅.

I suppose I should stop randomly naming variables and keep the randomness throughout the whole project

example: int psnhiwovb;

...I still have a project with such random names.

So my girlfriend was Gavin wifi problems and she calls me to fix it with vague description of what's happening (not even enough to google).
"But I'm a programmer?"
"And?"
"That's networking, they're quite different"
"It's computer stuff it can't be that different"

So my real name is jason and I got the habit to use Json as my nickname as a little Dev pun.

I think I overdid it

Use names for variables which describe what you store in them, writr comments and always git!!

Not using the ide's autocompletion and always writing out the whole goddamn names.

Just going through some old code from git repo's and code examples and I have a message to every dev out there after seeing some of the code quality...

Never... ever... ever fucking give variables with names like vx, tr and sq.

Give your variables names that explain what they are, it is so fucking hard trying to follow code that has 2 letter variable names and there is a special place in hell for you :-)

Stickers came today. Thank you guys @
@

Please help me find the 2 guys I should thank for that. YES I FORGOT THEIR NAMES.

Something I'm working on at work needs a code name. How do y'all come up with code names for your projects?

Why is choosing a name for a new dev project so difficult? It seems 99% of names I think of have already been taken! Any suggestions?

I know a guy who uses Unicode characters to write variable and function names. I won't be surprised if I find some Emoji function declaration there

Google just announced the .dev TLD which is now available for registration.

I guess it's time to change all my personal project host names to something different 🤷‍♂️

Swift let's you use most Unicode characters as variable names. But that doesn't mean you should do it.

I just found this in the code base:

let π = M_PI

FML

Calling the func "PleaseFuckingWorkWithoutErrors"
didn't seem to somve my friends problems...

And then I said: my children's names shall be
Travis
Json
Typhoeus
Ethon

Why are every cool domain names already taken ?!?

Unsure , if I should name my variable name as 'info' or 'infoFromDbAboutUser_RequiredForSessionValidation' for a method named 'functionToValidateUserAndCheckSessionIdOrAssignSessionIdIfNotAssigned'

Please help, I am unable to decide. :/

When people don't comment their code and user arbitrary variable names 😡😤😡

When people use one character variable names in their code I'm just like:
How do you guys live like this... 😰

Does anyone know why the ads on YouTube have so strange names?

Favourite CSS color name?
Mine is teal

Rule #1 about devRant... No names. Never know when they'll sign up, see it, and make the connection. That's gonna make for some awkward elevator silence.

Names a variable Y, names another Q, yet another U. While still writing looks back at Q. What's Q supposed to mean? Closes laptop and walks away.

Spelling and grammar errors in variable names, function names and comments.

Funny team names? A team at my comapany cant call themselves the "super high intensity team" so they gotta find a new name.

When you spend more time renaming variables, class names, properties etc.. to achieve perfect code and patterns rather than actually solving the problem. I'm bored now...

Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.

However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.

This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.

Remember to check file names when using cp😥😭

Feature request: swipe from rant to go back to list of rants. It would be easier than reaching up for the "back" button.

Can't someone just write some sort of Programm that gets project adjectives as input and outputs some nice project names. That would be super awesome. How do you create your project names?

Stop taking names for variables and functions which makes no sense

When you have a dev domain, yet your senior developer coworkers still add "Dev" to their app names..

Fuck this shit. My mind ran out of class names.

So my current PC is named the tesseract for its power and squareish case shape.

I just had a thought that if I ever seriously upgrade it or build a new PC, I should name it Thanos...

I love the names of computers...

That old classic..

You leave a folder copying whilst you go to sleep, only to wake up and read:

"The filename(s) would be too long for the destination folder. You can shorten the filename and try again, or try a location that has a shorter path."

And folk say:

"Thank goodness we don't have 8.3 character limits on filenames anymore.."

Note, there are lower folder number limits on things like USB memory sticks than HD's..

Now, I wonder about PCMCIA RAM cards..

I needed to update this function to add some more functionality​. And this is what i did.( I did added more functionality though)
Will I be fired?

When an Oracle procedure from commercial software uses very meaningful variable names...not! SMH

People that argue that anyone who doesn't understand their one or two letters long variable names are idiots.

now taking server names for our live backend server, most +1d's by tomorrow arvo i will name our server that.

I did some general searches in the actual project. The names of 22 variables and attributes I created contain the word 'shit', and 5 contain 'fuck'.

Why developer of c# (Anders Hejlsberg) when developing (TypeScript) not implemented method overloading and interfaces' methods implementation with same names.

Me:put proper variable names so that i can remember later what this loop does
After writing some good names
Me: i will remember it i am just gonna put initials
After a week or two.....

Me:wtf these a,b,c,d,i,j,k,l variables do

When you reach a moment when you can't come up with more class names, you just name them randomly

Was asked to find names for our future releases at work. It just had to be birdnames.
Say hi to next release Articuno, followed by Moltres and Zapdos !! 😎

Does anyone else include greek letters in their JavaScript variable names just to fuck with co-workers?

Just found my first little game I wrote in c++ and opengl(like 5yrs ago). Need to rename over 300 file names, class names and for each class their members names and function names now because ewww how can you call vars in programming like that. Porting it to Linux now. Library linking is working yet. I remember how awful it was to do that shit in vs. In Linux its ez. Also wrote a makefile because vs always compiled my whole project every time I ran it (for whatever reason).

I think that's what I'm going to be doing as a side project this week.

Does anyone use emojis for variable names?

Out of variable names

Touche neighbours. I approve of your names!

PyCharm's Warning: "Function name should be lowercase for PEP8 naming conventions."

Do Python developers not like camel case function names?

Startup: Kids buying cheap domain names worth $1 from their pocket money and explain Who they are, and What they do!

I think for my next project I will give my classes and variables interesting names, so when anyone views the source - they can be entertained.

Why can't corporate printers have logical names?

I've been working on an ERP system for several years and we had a module to record your presence time.
The code was absolute shit but at least the method names matched.
The method to record the end of your work was named "outhouseRecord".
One translation for outhouse seems to be a toilet outside.