The rant starts here

Programmers: Always use descriptive variable names.

Mathematicians: Single letter variable names always, ideally from obscure/dead alphabets.

Src: Twitter

Trying to come up with function names when it does more than one thing.

My boss just revised my report and sent it back with new file names. Memes have officially infiltrated the workplace.

Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))

1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;

If you name your methods a, b, c, x, z, etc

Then I hate you.

If the idiot wants me to help then use proper method names!

Programmer's hardest tasks 😁

Anyone ever noticed the names Github gives to their releases for Github Desktop?

At least they made it easier to keep track of names?

When you want to go home from the airport but some morron names his hotel "at home"

DevConfession

I often google names for my variables to see if I find a betrer fitting synonym that reads better

In all honesty, if there was a course on giving variables good, informative and not completely stupid names... I would take it.

Ah, PHP's misleading function names.

Just registered two domain names just for the pun I can make with them.

😅😊

These are some of the team names for my University's System Programming class. Thought you all would enjoy...

Less recruiter and more recruiting company.
Specifially: Robert Half.

t;ldr version:
Robert Half is scammy as hell, and they 'fired' me for quitting when my girlfriend got raped. Really.

------

Robert Half took half of my paychecks for the entire duration of my contracts with them. I didn't know right away because, as a policy, they hide how much the hiring company is paying for you, and they also forbid the company from telling you. (The company pays RHI, RHI pays you). Makes sense why they hide it because it certainly pissed me off.

Long story short, I worked for a php dev shop through them (after telling them to lower their fees or i'd walk), worked there for awhile (while remote moonlighting because why not!), and quit. I quit because my girlfriend at the time had just gotten raped, and with the emotionall fallout from that, there was no way I could focus on two jobs and be there for her. My boss understood and let me leave, though it put him in a bind.

The next day, I got a call from the regional manager of Robert Half. He was a total tool. He demanded to know if I quit, didn't care why I quit, proceeded to "educate" me in the finer points of why that was unprofessional and why i'm unemployable, accused me of lying about idr what, and finally switched into legalese to say "I regret to inform you that you can no longer consider Robert Half as a means of employment." (or something along those lines) and hung up on me. Asshole. I hope various large someones rape him so he has an inkling what it's like to be objectified and thrown away like trash.

Guy was an asshole; probably still is.
RHI was awful and scammy; probably still is, too.
Wasn't really a fan of the job either.

So at the end of it, I wasn't out anything but some patience and serenity (a lot of serenity). I kept the first (remote) job, was there for my girlfriend, and helped her through everything.

But yeah, Robert Half?
They can fucking go to hell.

Take a look at the Linux kernel names on Wikipedia, thank me later.

Meaningful variable names

Funny SSID names?

When your floor names a room Galileo and you have @bachmanity as a co-worker...

Worst part of being a dev. Figuring out names

Bad things should happen to people who put spaces in table names and fields.

Favorite development tool: Thesaurus.

Method/variable names are difficult dammit.

When you're 6 hours in coding C and notice that you've been using the python code style guide.

Naming contest:

These two 'new' servers need hostnames.
Names must be within the following constraints:

* Names must be female
* Names must be pronouncable and writable in ASCII standard set of characters.
* Names are preferred to reference to duo's, like sisters, twins, dynamic duo's like chip and dale, but female.

Previous servers were name 'tairu' & 'mairu' (heroic age) and 'karen' & 'tsukihi' (nisemonogatori)

Let's see if the devrant community can surprise me.

Entries will be closed within 48 hours of this post.

Getting really sick of brand naming conventions these days, Youtube just suggested me a video called "Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra vs iPhone 11 Pro Max!"

Like what are those, Transformer names? 🙄

Big names here on DevRant...

AWS is so complicated, it could be a full-time job to only understand all their names and stuff

Indian code. Check out the variable names. What a mess.

Girls are like Internet domain names,the ones I like are already taken.😕

The pains of coming up with short but meaningful variable names 😣

Who prefers long descriptive variable names compared to variables that are acronyms?

If you ever come across a Java codebase with capitalized method names, RUN. I should've taken this advice years ago.

Just wow...

Just so you know.
In node js.
You can use emojis as methods names. For real.

FUTURE 😄

The kind of method names you get for making me go to work on Saturday

My co-worker gave me assets for my project with names like- layer_1, layer_1_copy, layer_1_copy_copy...

Deciding a domain or project name, got to be the next worst after naming variables and exposed method names

That moment when you already used i, j and k for variable names in your loops.

So I coded til 5AM today and went to school at 7. I'm so groggy I couldn't remember my classmates' names and ended up describing them to people.

Worst part about being a dev is figuring out good variable names and function names.

When someone writes class names lowercase and methods uppercase in Java.

Thought Amazon servers went bonkers seeing these names. Later realized these are episode names for TV series, Mr Robot.

Use Meaningful variable names, they said.

Variable names DO matter.

Not sure if those are real song names or Spotify is trolling me when I try to trigger a "no results" UI in my app.

That moment when coding all day makes you... Creative... Hmhm.

Pet peeve of the day: People littering code with comments that repeat already obvious method names.

// Submits public key password
SubmitPublicKeyPassword(string psw)
{
//...
}

Dim [Dim] As Short

Why you ask? For the glory of satan of course!

Never name two different variables with the ALMOST same name or It will stop your work for a hours. I named one "lang" and anothers "langs"

Classmates having trouble with their mess of spaghetti code and improperly named variables (I saw variable names like "poop" already).

Some people say they use dark themes because it looks cool, but we all know it's for when you're up late programming and don't want your eyes shot to pieces.

Apple’s new iPhone lineup has confusing names:

- iPhone extra regular liquid liquid crystal display
- iPhone extra small
- iPhone extra small maximum

Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:

execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();

Name ideas for this girl? (I know she's a girl, I checked.)

I use variable names so bad that even i forget what they mean

Starting my first front end dev job in 3 weeks AAHHHHH!!

The imposter syndrome is real.

I wish I knew for sure I wouldn't offend certain people if they read this. I'll be vague for a reason..

WHY THE FUCK ARE. PI WRITING A PROGRAM IN A LANGUAGE OF YOUR LIKING AND THEN TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH FILE TO UPLOAD?!,!,!? How about the ones that make it work?

And why did you send the program, unformatted? This hurts.

I'm trying to teach these children how to fucking be professional in their jobs and this is what I'm working with.

How hard is it to know your tools and pick one that shows you know what you're doing????

And all this after the deadline, and the language written wrong

If I could go back in time and slap myself for these variable names and this "code" alltogether, I would bring a pan with me!!!

Naming shit is truly the hardest part of coding.

Why do some variable names start with an _ in C/C++ ? I personally do not like such naming.

I think yesterday I was drunk or very tired

Was my prev dev fucking high or what?
Who names an UPDATE Query as delete.
That shitfuck deserves a special place in hell.

Why did I mix English and Swedish variable names?

When you have been anonymously voted for the team leader and you know only two names from your 80 people class.

You can only use letters and spaces for names...
WELL FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOUR STUPID DEVS!
FUCK THIS!
(still a cool service tho)

Worst project I had was when I was asked to just copy-paste code and change the names of variables. Yeah, that's it, nothing more than that.

...i just remembered why I have a MasturbatorPattern repository on my bitbucket, why is it named that way, and what it does.

It's one of the core abilities of that magical AI i've mentioned in my previous rant. And it's called that way, because of how it works:

The Agent has some objects (as in, class instances) available to it, and wants to get some other kind of object. So it inspects by reflection ("touches") all objects around itself, inspecting their public functions, building up a plan/path/tree of "this function takes the object I have as input, and returns this other object which this other function of other object takes as input and returns this different object, which...." etc, etc, until the final function returns the object the Agent wanted to get in the first place.

And then it goes and "does" all those functions, in that order piping the parameters through.

So first it touches them (second layer of metaphor - linux finger command), and then it does those which output (ejaculate =D) something useful to it.

Therefore, MasturbatorPattern =D

Not sure if my sense of humor is just weird or outright unfunny.

hearing many of these companies names, for the first time

Some people need to understand commit names

Document your code, Don't give your variables silly names. Use git !!

So when I was working for a web dev shop, one of the clients asked us to have a drop down of all the different combinations you can have for street types to appear on the address form of their shopping cart. So stuff like "Street", "St", "Drive", "Dr", "Lane", "Ln" etc. We told the client that it wasn't possible since the possible combinations and how some street don't all end with a type.

But the client was adamant about having this so we ended up building a section in the administration section to allow the client to add any new street type to a database table that will populate the dropdown.

Found this on the internet. credits to the artist

If I had a penny for every time I misspelt 'nginx', I'd be richer that Bill Fucking Gates.

Could you have picked a more typo-prone name!?

Best Practice: variables with meaningful names.
Me: variables named after stuff from the Marvel universe.
End result: Debugging after 6 months. WTF is mjolnir6 ???

Had to download eclipse ide for a project
Latest release is called neon
Guess they ran out of cool planet names
😀

I CANT PICK NAMES FOR ANYTHING UGH

For all those lazy people who hate writing long domain names: DDG is now available also on duck.com domain

So since JARVIS (Just a Rather Very Intelligent System) is out.

Only ALFRED is left.

*popular AI child names*

Some actual company names I see out of the corner of my eye that make me think of Mr. ROBOT
Iron Mountain : Steel Mountain
Allstate : Allsafe

Ever find when you're working on a personal project that you spend more time trying to think of good names for classes than actually writing code?

What docker means:
Sorry pal, service names mustn't contain spaces

What docker says:
desc = name must be valid as a DNS component

I'm doing my own sci-fi D&D story and need some new weapons! So why not use programming names? 🤔

So far:
voidpointer
nullifier
destructor
finalizer

One player is also a dev and I want to trigger him as hard as I can 😈

Not giving functions/methods proper names.

Taking a rough stab at the method name and arguments because the documentation is bollocks, Runs exactly as you hoped it would on the first try

Figuring out where to put my devRant stickers is like picking variable names.

Except you can't refactor stickers...

That moment when you run out of names in games

I just love making git commits with cool or funny names.
Don't you love it too ?

Start building first! You can think about variable names later 😜

It has been 3 hours.... and I still don't know what to call my new repo.

Naming variables with meaningful names

When your dev's copy and paste code and don't bother changing the (completely irrelevant and misleading) variable names.

I hate when people use foo and bar in sample codes as names of variables.

who the fuck names their table aliases a, b, c, d... in a long query

dfox and trogus are devrant++ users but there names are not listed in devrant++ supporters list..
You both missed to add your names.. or took the privilege of being the founders and developers..

"What kernel version do you use?"
"Hurr durr I'ma sheep!!"

I bought this beer just because of it's name. Is there any whiskies or other drinks with geeky names?

when you're copying code from stack overflow and you have to change the class names

Just inherited a project from a "senior" with the variable names 'gggg' and 'ssss' in it...

A: Hey, let's brainstorm for a good name for our new hipster coffee.
B: Ice-Coffee!
C: Cool-Coffee!
D: Karacho!

A: Take my money!

______
I'm not quite sure, but doesn't Karacho mean Penis in Spanish?

Why the fuck do these little shits use variable names like p,q,pq?
Wtf are you? Babbler Baboon !

Previous dev needed to validate new user names as unique. His solution? Query Top 1000 rows and do a string comparison. Totally scalable, amirite?

New PM thinks it's a great idea to start micromanaging my team's (private) repo names. Can't wait to hear his opinions on our class and variable names! 😭

Descriptive variable names and method names > comments

Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.

Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..

I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...

Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...

Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....

Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.

I am going to get drunk now.

X

Superpower to instantly create variable names every time I need to declare a new variable based on the perfect matching with the code being written..

devRant I want you to meet Stressy the Stressball.

What did you name yours?

Giving interesting names to boring projects to make them sound cool and get others interested.

When you earn your HOT new stickers from the DevRant team!

When u send ur code for review and instead of getting comments for logic u put in, u get 10+ comments regarding variable names , extra lines and formatting.
LMF

Unintuitive APIs, with poor documentation and terrible parameter names. It's like they don't want me to use it

When you are tired of adding features and now out of names for classes

So adobe is changing product names again... Xd

I hate people who put underscore at the beginning of private variables names in Typescript. And I don't care if they have their reasons, I just hate them.

Someone needs to make a site that generates cool project names because I swear it's the hardest decision to make.

When you mad with your manager so make all object names in your code the names of the seven dwarves.

Something about those names is bamboozling...

I just spend 30 minutes debugging a JS bug that was caused by using the array method 'slice' instead of 'splice'

FUCK THIS!

Why tf does js have 2 methods that are similar in function and damn near identical in name

FUCK THIS SHIT

Sometimes I spend way too much time on variable names xD

Holy shit the commit names on cimg library are insane

I'm working with dictionaries today so naturally all my variable names are making me chuckle:
threshDic
saveDic
cutDic
Etc. you get the picture, it's the little things that get you through a Friday slog.

I really hate api response variable names like this. I mean why type "targetitemid" when "target_item_id" is so much more readable?

Such variable names
much helpful
very wow!

Either I need to download sdk source code for var names to show up correctly or I need to memorize which is for what :\

Guys we need to have more people who have their names as commands. Like @tar-cvzf or @rm-r

Please, please for the sake of your born/unborn child, check whether the names of the entity attributes are not valid sql keywords.

Just another day of trying to figure out The purpose of a public method with zero documentation and cryptic variable names🙇🏼🙇🏼🙇🏼

One of the things why I like working with Linux, you get to see cool names lol

Keeping my layer names as clean and explicit as my variables when I am designing.

I will never leave an "New Layer 1" untouched!

So my real name is jason and I got the habit to use Json as my nickname as a little Dev pun.

I think I overdid it

So my girlfriend was Gavin wifi problems and she calls me to fix it with vague description of what's happening (not even enough to google).
"But I'm a programmer?"
"And?"
"That's networking, they're quite different"
"It's computer stuff it can't be that different"

When you are done with classic variable names and decide to get creative. F#ed up names.

After @BobbyTables asked for super hero names, I'm curious for some supervillains.

I'll start with DOM Corleone

Not using the ide's autocompletion and always writing out the whole goddamn names.

And then I said: my children's names shall be
Travis
Json
Typhoeus
Ethon

I worked at a startup that indulged in pair programming thing. Where as a junior, you'd be partnered with a senior developer.

My mentor, always insisted on having shortest variable names possible, so that the "size of codebase" will be very small.

It was a nightmare going through his code and understanding what's he's done. Best part, no comments as well.

In a way it has primed me to go through any codebase possible.

Why is choosing a name for a new dev project so difficult? It seems 99% of names I think of have already been taken! Any suggestions?

Use names for variables which describe what you store in them, writr comments and always git!!

I know a guy who uses Unicode characters to write variable and function names. I won't be surprised if I find some Emoji function declaration there

When people don't comment their code and user arbitrary variable names 😡😤😡

Calling the func "PleaseFuckingWorkWithoutErrors"
didn't seem to somve my friends problems...

Just going through some old code from git repo's and code examples and I have a message to every dev out there after seeing some of the code quality...

Never... ever... ever fucking give variables with names like vx, tr and sq.

Give your variables names that explain what they are, it is so fucking hard trying to follow code that has 2 letter variable names and there is a special place in hell for you :-)

project#2.1

who the fuck names a php login script 'entry.php'

Names a variable Y, names another Q, yet another U. While still writing looks back at Q. What's Q supposed to mean? Closes laptop and walks away.

Favourite CSS color name?
Mine is teal

Unsure , if I should name my variable name as 'info' or 'infoFromDbAboutUser_RequiredForSessionValidation' for a method named 'functionToValidateUserAndCheckSessionIdOrAssignSessionIdIfNotAssigned'

Please help, I am unable to decide. :/

Something I'm working on at work needs a code name. How do y'all come up with code names for your projects?

Spelling and grammar errors in variable names, function names and comments.

Stickers came today. Thank you guys @
@

Please help me find the 2 guys I should thank for that. YES I FORGOT THEIR NAMES.

When people use one character variable names in their code I'm just like:
How do you guys live like this... 😰

Why are every cool domain names already taken ?!?

That old classic..

You leave a folder copying whilst you go to sleep, only to wake up and read:

"The filename(s) would be too long for the destination folder. You can shorten the filename and try again, or try a location that has a shorter path."

And folk say:

"Thank goodness we don't have 8.3 character limits on filenames anymore.."

Note, there are lower folder number limits on things like USB memory sticks than HD's..

Now, I wonder about PCMCIA RAM cards..

Feature request: swipe from rant to go back to list of rants. It would be easier than reaching up for the "back" button.

Stop taking names for variables and functions which makes no sense

Does anyone know why the ads on YouTube have so strange names?

Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.

However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.

This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.

Fuck this shit. My mind ran out of class names.

When you spend more time renaming variables, class names, properties etc.. to achieve perfect code and patterns rather than actually solving the problem. I'm bored now...

Remember to check file names when using cp😥😭

Can't someone just write some sort of Programm that gets project adjectives as input and outputs some nice project names. That would be super awesome. How do you create your project names?

onEnlightControllerActionPostDispatchBackendPluginManager

Who needs docs if you've got such speaking method names.

To the people that mistake i and j in nested loops: Have you considered giving these different names?

Rule #1 about devRant... No names. Never know when they'll sign up, see it, and make the connection. That's gonna make for some awkward elevator silence.

When you have a dev domain, yet your senior developer coworkers still add "Dev" to their app names..

If Skype 4 Business could stop changing the control names for their input fields, randomly, that'd be great.

People that argue that anyone who doesn't understand their one or two letters long variable names are idiots.

I love the names of computers...

Funny team names? A team at my comapany cant call themselves the "super high intensity team" so they gotta find a new name.

When an Oracle procedure from commercial software uses very meaningful variable names...not! SMH

When you reach a moment when you can't come up with more class names, you just name them randomly

I needed to update this function to add some more functionality​. And this is what i did.( I did added more functionality though)
Will I be fired?

So my current PC is named the tesseract for its power and squareish case shape.

I just had a thought that if I ever seriously upgrade it or build a new PC, I should name it Thanos...

Why developer of c# (Anders Hejlsberg) when developing (TypeScript) not implemented method overloading and interfaces' methods implementation with same names.

I've been working on an ERP system for several years and we had a module to record your presence time.
The code was absolute shit but at least the method names matched.
The method to record the end of your work was named "outhouseRecord".
One translation for outhouse seems to be a toilet outside.

now taking server names for our live backend server, most +1d's by tomorrow arvo i will name our server that.

short variables names, long variable names, nonsense variable names

Out of variable names

Who the fuck unironically names their variables My<Variable type>??

Just found my first little game I wrote in c++ and opengl(like 5yrs ago). Need to rename over 300 file names, class names and for each class their members names and function names now because ewww how can you call vars in programming like that. Porting it to Linux now. Library linking is working yet. I remember how awful it was to do that shit in vs. In Linux its ez. Also wrote a makefile because vs always compiled my whole project every time I ran it (for whatever reason).

I think that's what I'm going to be doing as a side project this week.

What does my current job hate descriptive names? Like to the point of active antagonism? We're a subscription based service. Why is SubscriptionExpiration the date you log in? Why does SubscriptionStatus only contain the name and id of product you're subscribed to and nothing to do with an actual status? All I need is the date a user subscribed. Why is this so hard!?!?

Touche neighbours. I approve of your names!

I did some general searches in the actual project. The names of 22 variables and attributes I created contain the word 'shit', and 5 contain 'fuck'.

Does anyone else include greek letters in their JavaScript variable names just to fuck with co-workers?

Project manager had to remind devs not to use emojis as variable names.
😭

I think for my next project I will give my classes and variables interesting names, so when anyone views the source - they can be entertained.

PyCharm's Warning: "Function name should be lowercase for PEP8 naming conventions."

Do Python developers not like camel case function names?

Was asked to find names for our future releases at work. It just had to be birdnames.
Say hi to next release Articuno, followed by Moltres and Zapdos !! 😎

Don't use keywords as variable names, you're going to have a bad time.

Looks familiar?
I really need to start giving more descriptive names when I test code..

Var that=
Vat thatt=
Var thattt=
....
Func workFFS=

My coworker : "yeah, as soon as someone is mentioning internal project names base on Greek mythology, you know shit is about to be blown out of proportion"

Does anyone use emojis for variable names?

Why can't corporate printers have logical names?

When one of your co-developer attach style rules to element tags instead of class names.

I can set Emoji as GET parameter names and it works. Not sure if I rant about that or not.