- We need an android app. Can you do this?
+ Never done that, but I can try.
- Do you even know Java?
+ Not really, but I'll learn fast!
- Any OOP experience?
+ Well...I know CPP.
- 😐

- Will you give me a prototype tonight?
+ Don't know. How about tomorrow?
- Ok.
...

+ *makes a prototype in couple of hours, becomes a Java developer*

Just like that.

Did you hear that GitHub is planning to rename racially sensitive terms like "master"?

My two cents: rename master to daddy. xD

Code review titles by year:

1990 - your code is using to much memory
1995 - your code is not running on window 95
2000 - your code is slow
2003 - your code don't have tests
2005 - your code is not 64 bit
2009 - your code is not using mvc patters
2010 - your code is not horizontal scalable
2011 - your code should be written in js
2015 - your code is not mobile ready
2020 - your code is racist

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

⚫⚫⚫⚫🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

coding requires inspiration...

🤔 If developers were linguists...

Person 1: How do you say "????" in Italian?

Person 2: Why don't you use Japanese? It's a much better language.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

I am not into motivation books but I was intrigued by a title.

Nice fucking book.
Found some improvements I can make in my life.

Author literally wrote he don’t give a fuck if you’re reading it or not.

apple sucks
iOS sucks
Xcode sucks
Cocoapods suck
iphones suck

can this company and OS please please die already

This gets me all the time.

When bug is feature...

No,Thanks I can wait one more day.

My thoughts on programming:

As a child:
It is 100% magic

As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code

Isn't it soo simple :/

FUCK

PRESSED CTRL+C IN THE WRONG TERMINAL

BYE BYE HOURS OF WAITING 😞

every single fuckening day

Damn True

git push origin master

And so I was wondering why is my cpu fan so loud...

Oh well

Hello Weekdays

ccto

That moment when you ask your friend if he/she has plugged it in and they say yes and your answer is ”send a picture” and they respond with this....

// ???

Favorite stickers are definitely the double-take-inducing stickers I made myself. Here's an AMD in Intel style sticker. I also made AMD Radeon in Nvidia GTX style, and vice versa of both of those. Plus an Intel Potato Inside, and Intel HD Graphics in Nvidia style.

They hold up better than the actual Nvidia stickers, although the color is a little off.

Headquarters...

What a legend!

when you have no QA department
- via CodeHumor

Am I the only one that prefers a clean laptop with no stickers?

(I do put all my stickers in a notebook however.)

Good morning 😅😅😅

How do you call a mentally fucked up path in Linux?

A /psycho/path