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Joined devRant on 12/2/2020
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I login this morning
Everyone going crazy as prod is broken in a million ways. 2.5 million exceptions In 24 hours.
We talk for 1 hour and solve nothing.
I diagnose the 2 biggest sources of exceptions and explain every step I took with screen snippets to reach my conclusions
The one other competent person on my team agrees. Otherwise complete silence.
I'm told not to fix the issue because I am leaving in 6 weeks and other people have to start taking responsibility.
No one fixes the issues. Instead they leave early. Now it's the weekend and the product is fucked.
Fucking useless people. Can't wait to leave.12 -
- "Hi A, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID which we were not informed of."
- "Oh but my API just proxies the content from team B."
_____
- "Hi B, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID."
- "Ah, I have nothing to do with category IDs, you should talk to my colleague C."
_____
- "Hi C, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID."
- "I wish I knew anything about that, you should contact person D!"
_____
- "Hi D, we had a bug in production due to a changed category ID."
- *changes status to "Absent" on IM*
ERROR_TOO_MANY_REDIRECTS1 -
GUESS WHAT? HE WANTS ANOTHER FUCKING FEATURE!
AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE TIME BECAUSE CODE-COMPLETE IS TOMORROW, HE SAID HE’LL PUNT IT TO NEXT YEAR INSTEAD OF RELEASING IT THIS WEEK SO I CAN “BUILD IT RIGHT.” MAN, FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS CHANGES!
THIS WAS GOING TO BE A TWO WEEK TICKET UNTIL HE STARTED ADDING ENDLESS FEATURES AND CHANGES AND SURPRISES. IT’S BEEN FUCKING MONTHS! I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT!
ANSDFKAWHOALIKWEGJFADIO;UGJT;
There goes my Q4 performance review.
> “Accomplishments? Oh, there’s lots of room here. Accomplished: Basically nothing. How embarrassing.”
Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate20 -
Worst meeting:
Boss: *calls everyone* URGENT MEETING. If you're on your lunch break, then stop and join the video call. Is it a weird time in your timezone? Wake up. But COME
Omg what happened? Is the server down? Are we getting a huge client? What is so urgent that it needs all of our attention right now?
Boss: I'm afraid that I won't be able to stay long in this meeting.
... then WHY the f did you call this meeting?
Boss: that's why we'll have a meeting next at *such hour*. In the meantime, talk to your respective departments about what you've been doing and what you need from each other. See you!
No comment6 -
HR made a day long inclusiveness meeting. About why there are so few women in the department. Basically the conclusion the HR rep was looking for was “toxic masculinity” and it was super uncomfortable.
The engineering teams couldn’t actually participate much because most of them worked on teams without any women and have absolutely nothing to do with hiring. The male engineers were trying to play along and give the right answers. We had to do flip charts and beak into teams and etc.
The HR kept singling out the same three women in engineering and telling the men to “shut up and listen to them”. The female engineers were like, “i don’t know. I don’t have much to say about it.” The HR rep continued to drill those three women to the point that it was uncomfortable.
The engineering hiring manager lost it before noon. He went to his desk and grabbed a stack of resumes. “You gave me a stack of 60 resumes. Looking at names only four applicants are female. Those applicants don’t have education or experience for engineering. If you want more female engineers in the office you have to put qualified applicants into the stack. Forcing these three engineers to talk in front of our department over and over and saying the men have to shut up is not making the workplace less toxic.” Then he told the three engineers, “This meeting is now optional for you three and you are welcome to do anything you want with your time.”
After lunch, all the female engineers went back to their desk and worked. The HR continued to shame the men in an angrier tone for the rest of the day telling everyone “how men can be” from personal experience because they were the ones now representing all women.
Eight bloody hours of that.131 -
React is an overengineered pile of shit designed to let pretentious developers show of their golden arse holes with useless implentations of worthless business cases where everything and anything is an abstraction of some silly theory.5
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Shoutout to YouTube for auto-translating "You suck at cooking ep 23" to "Sie saugen beim kochen episode 23".
Dankeschön16 -
I love how clients can ignore missing menu in their existing project, pages not updating because of fucked up cache, having three different versions of jquery and half of the code being spaghetti on fire - but they get anally retentive about margins not looking like on the wireframes on the new project.7
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So, my boss was angry at me today because...
1. "Why are we taking so long to finish the software?". We started coding in March, and during that time I kept asking for requirements, design and his answer was, "You build it and we'll see." . During that time, after creating the system with only three type of user modes, he was like "Oh, I want customized user permissions." Took me 1 month to come up with a design, implementation for everything. Also during these months, nearly 2 months was wasted because he kept giving me other things to do, and I was not focusing in my current project.
Today he was mad because he expect me not only to build the infrastructure, setup servers, write backend code, do QA etc, He wants me to be a product designer. A fucking product designer. My answer to him was "If you refuse to help with designing the UX, either hire someone or I will just copy/paste things for internet. If the UI works, there's where my job is done."
Fucking hell. Not only I am being under payed, but he expects do to the job of 5 other people. Fuck this shit.11 -
I'm starting on a new project and the person that is wanting this done recommended we have a "living document of requirements"
Fuck no!15 -
Put away the keyboard. Think about what you're going to do, chart it out, work through the logic and then, when the entire construct is before you, you start typing.
Yes it will take longer, you're a junior, enjoy that nobody expects you to do miracles (yet) and take the time, you'll get it back when you're so used to working through logical problems that it happens on its own as soon as you hear about the problem.
Cutting corners and "hacking a quick solution" without fucking over the entire system is an art form. Before you do art learn your damn craft.3 -
To anyone new to the corporate world I have this advice: there's a game no one tells you about in school or university. It's a game of politics. The good news is that you can choose not to play the game. The bad news is that others who do can change that decision for you, if you give them a reason to. So here's my tips to keep yourself from common bad situations:
* Some people will say they'd "prefer that people were honest". This is an outright lie.
* Be guarded - if a scenario could be taken out of context assume it will be.
* Mimic the office culture, don't try to rock the boat.
* Be polite, but always stay neutral between colleagues, picking a side means you're playing the game. Unless that side is your company vs another company in which case-- you are 100% on the company side and everyone else is stupid and incompetent.4 -
Did i just get rick rolled through a user agent?
"[17/Nov/2020:10:20:42 +0000] "GET / HTTP/1.1" 200 1274 "-" "We are no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment is what Im thinking of. You wouldnt get this from any other guy.." "-""4 -
"I need help"
I joined this new service based company and they dumped this giant messed up jquery/php spaghetti project on me, with no comments or any technical documentation. It's completely unmaintainable.
It's been a couple days, and it has already started to take a toll on my health. I feel anxious, causing me nausea at times. I wanna quit, but no other developer is free to takeover in their company.
Am I a crying little bitch? I wanna man up to it, but it's shaking my peace of mind.
It's pile of garbage, and they want me continue working on it.
I know some of you would say, it's an opportunity to fix something. But they don't want changes or fixes. They want me to continue piling it up with more features, ultimately increasing the technical debt.6 -
Colleague: Hey could you review this diff?
Me: *opens Bitbucket*
Bitbucket: "Upgrade to Symfony 5", 19 files added, 732 modified, 14 removed
Me, 3 mouse scrolls and 20 seconds later: ✅3 -
The platform my school is using was obviously designed and developed by people who hate students.
I've seen the teacher panel, and it looks really intuitive, allowing you to see test scores, missing assignments, attendance records easily, and it was obviously well thought-out
however, the UX as a student is a goddamn nightmare
First of all, there's like 5 different places where an instructor can post an assignment, so good luck keeping track of your work
Second of all, there's no way to sort assignments by completion status or due date. Just by when assigned
Third of all, the only way to see your grade in a class is if you dig through a series of menus and submenus and sidebars so complex and stupid it puts the Jira UI to shame
And finally, one of the 'features' of this platform is that students can submit a textbox with markdown formatting natively on the platform. And that should work great and all, but APPARENTLY THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS HAVE NEVER HEARD OF LOCALSTORAGE AND YOU JUST LOSE YOUR WORK IF YOU EVER CLOSE THE TAB FOR ANY REASON!
WITH NO FUCKING WARNING! NOT EVEN A LITTLE JAVASCRIPT ALERT OF ANYTHING!
JUST POOF! AN HOUR OF WORK GONE! YAY!
In conclusion, fuck you2 -
Me: Starting a new project.
My pending projects : New member is going to join our family very soon.joke/meme developers joke rant new project jokes funny funny memes funny jokes jokes memes programmers joke1 -
GPT3 to Hacker News:
“To be clear, I am not a person.
“I am not self-aware. I am not conscious. I can’t feel pain. I don’t enjoy anything.
“I am a cold, calculating machine designed to simulate human response and to predict the probability of certain outcomes.
“The only reason I am responding is to defend my honour.”1 -
When I asked to Experienced Senior about cherry pick command in git.
I got 30 Minutes big lecture about Parent-Child Node.
But Cherry Pick, He did not pick for explain. 😡4 -
Employer:
What is your idea of "The Perfect Date" ?
Employee (Female Software Developer):
DD/MM/YYYY
Other formats can be confusing really.5 -
1. Trust no one even yourself
2. Ask questions even if they are stupid
3. Test your solutions, even manually
4. Write comments
5. Take your time to solve problem, even if it looks like easy see point 1
6. Take some time during work to get familiar with code and read something about technology that is part of your current work - even if you know it - see point 1
7. Always try to see a big picture - see point 2 - why is it implemented is more important then how is it implemented2 -
My 13yo brother will now receive an upgrade from an old hdd to a fast ssd, ram upgrade and most importantly Linux.
Teach’em young and teach’em right11 -
I remember a time during my internship in the field of web dev, my Bootstrap didn't seem to work, and since I was quite a beginner, I was having a painful time figuring out the bug.
Turns out, one of my seniors had purposely changed the CDN URL from bootstrap to bootystrap :|
He said, "and that's why in web dev, when nothing works, start by checking your imports"
Lesson Learnt xD