client : show website
me: sir server is down
client : what? I don't know,I want to see my website.
me: sir try to understand it is not my issue
client *call cut*

fucking asshole -_-

Our team just got the best email from our client hahaha

I have a teacher that does nothing but reading from powerpoint slides.
Wrote a script that does a better job.

So true

Oh my god... Storytime.

A customer comes in with I assume is his father or grandfather.

Customer: I need a computer, but without all the internals

Me: So a case?

Customer: Yes, I need a Dell computer outsides, but without the internal components.

Me: Well, we don't have Dell cases, but we sell custom build cases and they come with a power supply.

Customer: *says nothing, but looks interested*

Me: *walks over to the cases to show him* So this is what the cases look like and we have two types, one for a ATX and one for a micro-ATX.

Customer: *still says nothing, but looks at them*

Me: What motherboard do you have at the moment?

Customer: Well, I don't have anything right now, but I'm replacing another computer that didn't work very well. I'm going to be getting some Dell parts to put in here.

Me: O-okay. So this other computer, I'd like to see it in shop to see what's going on with it.

Customer: Oh, you do NOT want to do that. I hooked it up to another computer and it blew it up.

Me: Huh, that's weird. I'd still like to look at it if possible.

Customer: Oh no, it's all wired wrong and... *some bullshit, but stay with me*

Customer: I am the best at technology. My hand has computer parts in it--government funded. *some more bullshit*

Me: Okay... *I try to bring it back around* Well, I'd still like to see the other computer for myself. So you don't have parts for this new build yet, right? You don't know what type of motherboard you have?

Customer: No.

Me: Well, I would get the internals first, so you know what size of case to get, and then get the case.

Customer: Okay. Thank you for your time.

He shook my hand with his "cyborg" hand and I was tempted to say something about "try not to crush my hand," but elected not to. Also during this entire exchange, the old man continuously farted in the background.

Working with that one friend that likes to design things like this:

Client...

As a programmer, I'm outraged.

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

My Dev environment today.

- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"

😑 are you kidding me..

Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.

Me: I mend shoes

It is the weekend and I will be a meme ++ whore just this once.

Holding the power button to shut down your computer feels like you're choking someone to death.

I'm going to get message from the NSA for posting this. 😂😂

Boss: we need to make a website.
Dev: we fired the web dev
Boss: you do it then
Dev: I am a mobile dev
Boss: dont care you are a developer

Tbh he isnt wrong but i just hate web development.

Friend: Hey! How do you uh... alt tab out of the game?

Me: *wtf* Uhhh... You press alt tab.

Friend: *after 10 seconds* Oh! That’s why it is called alt tab.

Me: *crying laugh emoji*

My cat loosed resolution, what should I do? :/

!Rant

Convinced my girlfriend to learn UI/UX design. She landed her first job last week and it's a good one :)

So proud

Discounted price is much more expensive....

😄😄😄

Programmer's 🏠

Story of my life 😀

UI design gone wrong

"Hey, you know Binary Search Trees?" "Say no more."

An electronic billboard had an error and it made it look like the sky had an error.
src="Reddit"

What state do you live in? 🤔

My friend said an intern designed this UI for an internal site.

No. Just... no

I had a few interesting ones for my current job. Most of you should of hear it by now, but still a decent brainteasers.

You have 9 pool balls, 1 of which is slightly heavier than the other. You have a balance scale, find the heavier ball. You can only use the scale twice.

Devs, let's not spoil this by actually posting the answer.

So tell me about yourself.