Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

What a fucking crap week.

Show this to your team mates and get killed.

When you look at code you just wrote

Some serious debugging going on here today.

One of the best fucking bot on the internet

Everything is going as planned

This is me :P

Hands up, who actually uses this shit?

Seriously, this is one of the most innovative apps I've used in the past year. The developer must be having fun torturing hundreds of people every day. But fuck this shit, it works (and most alarm clocks didn't work for me)

YouTube comments at it's best

A random number generator in my code just gave "0000". I even thought that could be some bug and was investigating. How cool is that?

the optimal size for my dev team is two.

me and whisky.

So my dear programming teacher really hates break statements... I mean really really really. He thinks it's better for readability if you don't break from any kinds of loops (not even ifs) well then we came across a switch statement in class. He says "breaks only exist because it's needed in switches" well how about returning from a fcking swith? or goto? then you need no break...
Is there anyone who could explain why I should NEVER use breaks and why it's bad in any piece of code? Why is it better to just use whiles because fors are apparently evil again? Srsly I just wanna ask him to show me some big code bases without breaks...

"Every great developer you know got there by solving problems they were unqualified to solve until they actually did it." - Patrick McKenzie

I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.

Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):

"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"

Excuse me but fuck right off.

Because you know what, I am currently socializing.

Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.

I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.

I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.

But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.

Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.

Sincerely fuck off please.

I did an engineering quiz yesterday as a way of introducing a new database the school recently got access to. You had to sign up for the site.

- Passwords were max 20 characters (which is better than 10, but still, why???)
- You couldn't use special characters, but there was NO INDICATION ANYWHERE THAT THAT WAS THE CASE. It would just silently fail to log in. I had to open the browser console to figure out what wasn't working. FUCK

Me: *accidentally opens DevTools*

1.269427 milliseconds later...

Person: TEACHER! He’s HACKING INTO GOOGLE DRIVE!!!

Teacher: *glances at computer* Oh my gosh! That is ILLEGAL! Go to the office immediately.

I reluctantly headed to the office and calmly explained what happened. Luckily, some people have a bit of common sense and let me go.

I love this new dictionary. Keeping it for a better way to explain to non-techies about what I do

Server died again today because a fellow housemate decided to plug a 1200W wood saw into the same power network.

I don't know how stupid one has to be to think that is a good idea.

Just want to recommend the DevRant stress ball. I wasn't quite sure how to use it (it doesn't come with instructions) but since stuffing mine down the PM's throat my stress level has reduced dramatically.

Created a dark mode for my program.

PSA: if, for whatever shit reason your brain comes up with, you decide to run a webminer in your retarded useless piece of shit website, at least HAVE THE DECENCY TO WARN USERS ABOUT IT. And while you're at it, implement some basic monitoring and safety functions. If you don't, you can set yourself on fire and jump from the top of the tallest building you can find.

Some basic tips:
1) don't run that shit on phones. The fraction of a fraction of a cent you're gonna earn from them is not worth the risk of overheating them and draining their batteries.

2) add low battery/overheating protection: the last thing you want to do is kill some poor sucker's laptop (and potential unsaved work) just because they forgot a tab open. Every time a laptop dies because of you, a knife will slit your throat.

3) WARN YOUR USERS ABOUT IT! You are straining someone else's resources for your own profit: at least have the balls to be open about it. If you try to run a miner silently in the background, I will make you eat whatever is left of your fucking brain, then drown you in the shit that comes out of your ass.

If you ask a question in a forum and figure out the answer yourself, for the love of God, please post the fricking answer.

"Never mind" is not at all helpful. Ugh. Stop being selfish peasants.

To my full confident co worker, fuck you dumbass.

Even though my ikea rack has served me well, I am happy with my newest server room update.

Before: https://devrant.io/rants/405246/...

Useful as fuck...

Good guy Microsoft creating so many new jobs.

I'd be really happy :)

"Are you running android?"
"No Samsung"
"So your OS is android"
"No Samsung"

Linux pople be like