Just developer things. :D

The new Mac Pro that Apple just announced is gonna be a treat to those with trypophobia. Anyone else thinks its fugly?

P.S. $6000 monitor.. really?

Something's not right

So my CTO comes to me and asks me to checkout the APIs provided by a particular service and see if we can use them.

After two days of research I go to him and tell him that it cannot be done and it doesn’t fit our use case. He tells me research more although I have researched everything required.

So I take two days doing absolutely nothing, send a mail to the developer of the apis and they tell me that it can’t be done.

Now imagine this kind of scenario occurring every three months. RESEARCH MORE.

Why do super senior members of our company don’t trust me. It’s just so random and anger evoking

Frame your code

Best xcode review ever

Hacktoberfest in a nutshell

I stopped drinking about five years ago.
That shit is poison yo.

Winners don't do drugs.

Stop using progress bars on your résumé/CV!

Back when we were looking for people to join us, we got hundreds of résumés in the mail and online, and I saw so many of them using these progress bars to indicate competency in a particular skill or programming language.

Yknow what that says to me, and to my colleagues?

"Yeah, I'm ok at this, but I'm even worse at THIS"

Your résumé is about selling yourself!
We don't want someone who's '68%' in Photoshop or '82%' in JavaScript. We want someone who knows they're good at what they do and knows they can learn if they need to.

You might feel like you're being 'big headed', but that's what a good resume SHOULD be! Sell yourself to be as if you're the solution to all of my problems and you might just get a job!

Rant over.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I'll spend the first twelve sharpening the axe. —A programmer.

Ooh this is going to be fun

Seems strange but it's true.

>you love Google
>you're writing a CV
>you have big ego
>your CV looks like that one
>you're probably me

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

"What's a computer?"

- iPad user

Speed date of a Linux guy

Weekly rant suggestion:

Most Fake Résumé you ever read

you know it

Happiness is not getting any server issue/downtime notifications while you're outside on a bridge watching fireworks ❤😊

NEW YEAR !

Got a new duck for when I'm working on code smell

When you use computer so much that your family/relatives consider it as part of you!!

Merry FUCKING Christmas 🎄🎅🎁🎅

Windows > OSX

Downloaded a bitcoin wallet. Now i have two empty wallets.

Thanks devrant. Ive been on the toilet for over an hour now😣😣

Bought a tiny tablet so I can more easily do server management on the road/in bed.

I'm playing old school minesweeper on it now 😓

Yassss

So. A while ago I was on OkCupid, trying to find the Pierre to my Marie Curie (without the whole brain getting crushed under a horse carriage wheel obviously) and I decided the best way was to have my profile lead with my passion for technology. It turned out pretty unique, if I do say so myself.

At the end of it, I amassed some interesting and unique messages:

- A Java pickup line (that I never responded to. Yes I'm a very basic Devranter)

- A request to turn the man's software into hardware (to which I politely informed him that this was scientifically impossible unless a reader proves me wrong)

- Another impossible request to turn his floppy disk into a hard drive (how outdated too, why not HDD to SSD for faster speed amirite? That was awful don't mind me)

- A sincere request to help troubleshoot a laptop (Honestly I would've helped with help requests but this is a dating site...)

- A sincere request to help debug a student project followed with a link to a GitHub repo

- Another sincere request with studying for a computer exam

- And lastly, my favourite: a sincere job offer by a guy who went from flirtatious to desperate for a programmer in a minute. He was looking for *insert python, big data, buzzwords here* and asked me for a LinkedIn. I proceeded to inquire exactly what he wanted me to do. He then asks me to WRITE a Python tutorial and that he would pay a few cents per word written so he could publish it. Literally no programming involved.

Needless to say I went to look elsewhere.

!rant

Paradoxon: if an AI gets good enough to pass the touring test, it would also be good enough to _not_ pass it 🤔

Meditation for the rest of us...