Ohhh helll nooooo

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

Exception handling.

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

i'm seriously over mobile devs not understanding what backend architecture looks like.

the "we don't need a backend, we just need an API." statement drives me up the fucking walls. stop it, you should know better.

sincerely -
your friendly neighborhood web developer.

One component is used over 30,000 times. How many unit tests do you think we have for it? Zero. Fucking zero, Zip, Zilch, Nada, None.

WHAT THE QA FUCK!?

She runs C shells by the seashore.

Allo Siri

css pun series #2

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

My dad has been working for IBM for almost 30 years now. A couple years back, when we were traveling, he just stopped and changed directions going "ooohhh"... Apparently IBM used to make atms and he just saw one and just had to make a withdrawal... 😅

About to order my personalized registration plate - no more toll fee's for me (I hope) :-)

"How can you sit around all day solving problems, without going mad?"

Yea right .. Without going mad :')

Thats what i saw on a wall in New Delhi, India... Lol

Apple vs Orange

I hope they know what they're doing!

The computer science department at my university is located in the basement. I know I'm supposed to get real world experience, but what a sick joke! /s

My grandma saw me programming for one whole day and she started to rant.

Grandma: "She's been sitting all day infront of her computer doing computer stuff! Electricity bill's getting higher!"
Mum: "Well at least she's not out late at night getting drunk and partying!"
Grandma: "Computer girl"

~yesterday at a coffee shop~

Brother *bragging* about new workstation: "he" has 512gb of ram.

His friend: imagine how many chrome tabs you can keep open at once!

Me: almost one.

What a lot of people don't get..

asking for a date in safe mode

Designers be like...

I'm nearly done importing almost half a million records to Shopify and they just formal email asking me to stop hitting their API so hard.

Most painful thing I have ever seen....

"what do you mean my mechanical keyboard is too loud? ".

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

someone checked their bag when flying this weekend. We now have a $2500 phone stand.

So I missed the first 3 days of my programming class. Once I showed up to the 4th the professor was really cool about it. She informs me on the HW I missed and so after the test she handed me (which was overdue as well) I started on the HW. By the end of the class I show her the exercises I did and just by how I structured each function (Python btw) she could tell that I was advanced for the class... I was surprised when she said that I didn't have to show up to the class because it would be a waste of my time, and that I can use the time to focus on personal projects. She offered to help me out with database dev (which ironically I planned on reading head first sql after a design pattern book). The thing that hit home was when she said "I think you're going to be a great programmer."

When you show your girlfriend the CSS animation that took you 2 days to make and she gives you the most unimpressed look.