500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

An entirely typical exchange at work:

PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?

ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?

PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.

ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.

PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.

ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.

6 hours later…

ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.

PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.

ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?

PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.

ME: Babelsets?

PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.

ME: There are users!?

PM: Of course!

ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.

PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?

ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?

PM: Yeah.

6 days later…

ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?

PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.

ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!

1 hour later…

ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.

PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?

ME: What cron?

…

ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.

PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.

ME: Right. I’ll change it...

PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.

ME: What visual?
...

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

Nobody will get it

The Inevitable Pun and the Joys of Working as a Basic User in the *nix World!

Sauce: http://hit-comic.com/comic/...

!false

get david() { /* ... */ }

My favourite DJ, david getter!

When you have a million things to do but CS memes are life :)

Well yeah. He is right!

What color do you want the database?

True story

Changed my repo name to titanic.

Now it's syncing...
Syncing...
Syncing...
Syncing....

Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

I don't think I'm smart, but why most of the people are so retarded??
They want to just make the code work and skip home!
Not caring about how their code effects the whole system!

Started sniffing the packets on a public wifi hotspot. Found someone was reading TheHackerNews and got excited.😲 Later realised it was myself. 😯

Such boss
much micromanage
many issue
such ignore

Should be ILLEGAL when newsletters do not have a "unsubscribe" link 😡

Found this, but not sure if it applies to us

Mechanical keyboards' heavenly sounds.

Client asked to change the shade of blue to a little lighter shade. Deleted the hex code and typed the same hex code again and showed it to him. Instantly approved.

Found this gem in our production code today

Nesting hell

What gif

Me and my girlfriend are arguing, because I'm programming a lot and I don't have time to give her attention. She said if I don't give her attention, she will break up with me.
Any suggestion where I can find a good tutorial for C#?

I swear macOS Sierra is worse than Windows Vista, I need to type my password like 10 times to install and launch XCode...

This was my graphic design assignment, what do you guys think?

I think the most annoying thing of being a programmer is to accidentally press ctrl + s on a browser because of having been saving so much

Making Variables

The joys of web dev

Favourite Programming Quote - Whats yours?

"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things." - Bill Bryson