What the hell YouTube

1. Scripting out a team. I've built a collection of bash scripts to do what one of our teams does. Except the script does it in 30min and always does it well where that team used to take 4 to 10 hours and almost always missed something in the way.

2. Automate 70-80% of our BAU tasks with a single >4k loc bash script. Integrations with servicenow, lots of internal portals, predefined huge sets of commands to run on separate servers or lists of servers, do all sorts of diagnostics, schedule hw maintenance for DC folks, chase for approvals, track CHNG/CTSK tickets in a graphical chart so we would not miss any of them and lots lots more.
Finally we were able to afford time to make some coffee/tea.

These are the bau optimizations I'm proud of the most. And they have made significant impact on how our teams operate.

Whoever recognizes both company values in the tags and know what is that company - are they still using ´S´ in unix team? :)

Bugs can experience fear too... Sometimes they rather go away on their own.

Tough realization 😳

Just... Fix them

Our publish workflow had to much manuell steps in it. Wrote a tool to publish a new version with one button click.
My Colleges thank me with tears in there eyes 😄

Had to wirte and optimize a C++ program that finds for 1000x1000x1000 grid points the 100 nearest points for each (with an additional factor to make it more complicated).
It had to run in under 18 minutes to pass. No matter what I did I couldn't get it fast enough. I tried kd-trees, caching of certain points, optimizing distamce calculations by ommiting any irrelevant factor, saving points' calculated squares etc etc. When Ibwas down to 20 minutes, I realized, that my makefile had an error and ignored the - O3 flag...
Well, it actually ran 5 minutes with -O3.

Okay so my co-workers explains why they give me the title "GitHub Maid":

Basically most of the time the engineering didn't have the time to scroll through issues, and that includes me, so a lot of this stuff does not get triaged properly when reported. When I stumbled on the tracker, I knew I had to do something, so I sorted and sorted and managed the tickets by my own.

So being a "GitHub Maid" is not something to be embarrassed about after all, in fact, I think the dev team owed me a lot because the issue tracker is more organized, and the issues are getting triaged and assigned properly now compared before.

So if they call you like something similar, be proud of it because some developers wouldn't even bother to tidy up issue tracking.

No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.

Now go and fix your code

I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't

Someone paid me almost 200 usd to solve a visual basic assignment made of 13 small questions like palindrome checking, finding max,...

i feel i stole the girls money but i also feel i wish i can do this full time

I lost my phone a year ago and for some reason forgot about devrant, yesterday suddenly remembered about it. Glad to be back ;)

Seriously I'm using Intellij IDEA Ultimate, should I migrate to VS Code ? or should I just stay where I am ?

.tree {
visibility: hidden;
}

⚫⚫⚫⚫🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

if (down(KEY_LEFT) && down(KEY_UP) && down(KEY_DOWN)) {
calc.exe
}
/*
because why not..

src: https://fwupd.org/lvfs/devices/...
*/

Microsoft: we're releasing chromium based edge on 15th of Jan 2020

Government tax website: this website works only on Internet Explorer

Please god put me out of my misery

Many people want a cashless society. This is especially useful when:

- you just lost your bank card.
- the banks mobile payment app isn't working at all.
- its Saturday evening.

I'm so fucking glad that I've got some cash left at home and that cash is still a valid payment method 😅

To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

You guys are getting paid?

Found this on discord.
Could be copypasta but I decided to share it anyway.

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux."

The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you wont be for long."

With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.

Every damn night!

So I was stupid enough to make the same mistake for 5 times in a row within the same hour, simply the same sql query to get something from a table which doesn't exist because I didn't even run the migration.

Boss: How long till it's done?
Me: 1 week

... 1 week later
Boss: How long till it's done?
Me: 1 week

... 1 week later

Boss: How long till it's done?
Me: 1 week

... 10 months later

Boss: It's almost Christmas
Me: 1 week

Accurate

Have u ever seen or wrote something like Richard did in Silicon Valley. Poor bastard.

That moment of sadness when you realise you forgot to bring your headphones to work. :(

I’ve been programming with night mode on without realising, I can’t go back now 😂

What are people's thoughts on having a personal website/portfolio?

I've set one up on GitHub pages with my custom URL, mainly to host SQL tutorials etc that I make, but do employers look at them?

LoL this one made my day!!

This is what happens when you hire a philosophy major.