Ctrl + Z in real life.

Man, that's a pretty serious SQL warning..

Genius indeed! Deadlock

Messed up dawg.......

I think I went overboard

A scammer called me today. They were saying that harmful files were moved to my computer and they needed to remove them. I don't think they are ever going to call me again.

S = scammer; M = me;

S: this is tech support we need access to your computer because we detected harmful files and need to remove them.
M: oh my! Hold on, let me go to my computer now. How can you access it?
S: we can just use RDP and delete the files. They are in a hidden folder that is encrypted so this Is the only way.
M: oh ok I believe you. Hm... it looks like my son only allows certain IP addresses to access our computers.. I don't know how to disable this so can you just email me your IP address?
S: Sure...

He then sends me his actual IP address... it doesn't even look like a proxy or VPN.

M: oh my I forgot that you need my password to login. It's really long and complicated... can I just email it to you?
S: Sure!!

I then tell him to hold on I have to find it that my "son" stored it somewhere.

At this time I'm taking a photo of my bare ass and attaching it to the email. I then say in the email "Please note what my job title is in my signature.. I just sent the FBI your name, phone number, email, and IP address. Please enjoy my bare ass, you'll see a lot of it in prison."

Interviewer:Explain us deadlock and we'll hire you !

Me:Hire me and I'll explain it to you..

Scrum they said.

Credit from imgur

Fucking fuck you 'executive' sales director.

You come into my office when I'm not here, and then force people to prioritise your shitty fucking customer above a high priority one that I need to go to. I get phoned and told, "You will go there".

Basically, he just prioritised a shitty fucking issue of 3 users over a high priority SLA customer of 140 users.

Getting shat out as I speak about why the high priority is not being done (I need to do DR there, because their server crashed).

Basically said - I am fucked. I either choose to go to the SLA call and then the 'director' fucking loses his shit and hits me, or I go to the call and the MD loses his shit and fucks me up (again).

Fuck this.
Fuck.

Time to get to work!

Sell a 2000€ laptop with all the ram cpu power 4k display you name it.
Throw in a 5400rpm mechanical hdd as standard.

When you realize you're spending all your time on a skill set that would be 100% useless in the apocalypse....

You pay a dev for 8 hours of work, he/she thinks about (ie. works on) the problem for 24...
Best deal ever :/

Petition to display upvotes as hex.

My new nintendo switch

when your code is a mess but everything work out in the end

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

How do you feel when there is no coffee??

Me: Depresso

A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

... Yep

I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.

I told him : "I am a full stack developer"

He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?

Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.

He: Like facebook?

Me: yes, exactly.

He: So you work for windows?

Me: What makes you think that?

He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?

Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.

Oh boy

This never gets old...

"Does it work in IE?"

No, and I don't care.

"Programming is like writing a book... except if you miss a single comma on page 156 the whole thing makes no damn sense" - unknown

Web dev's worst nightmare: "it doesn't work in 3DS browser"

https://twitter.com/lizardbill/...

Valentine Programming :(

"Should I use Mithril or Durandal?"

"I'm sorry, I don't play Dungeons & Dragons.."

"They're Js libraries.."

Fuck sake, because we needed more reasons for people to think we're nerdy virgins.

Universe is telling...