Oh my dog, why?

Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.

Turns out our PHP dependencies are installed with NPM instead of Composer

Toilets and race conditions!

A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.

Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?

Him: yeah. And with a single thread?

Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.

Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.

Me: exactly!

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

HR: How many years you've been developing on Xamarin ?
Me: Three years, with many side projects
HR: So, you're familiar with C#?
Me: No, I've been coding in "hieroglyphs".

i'm getting headaches right now...

Current State

Open terminal, do this
telnet mapscii.me

Have fun

From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:

https://goalkicker.com

Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.

(L)user - Is Youtube blocked?

— I don’t know, have you tried it...?

(L) - Well no, but I just wanted to ask before trying it.

Are you kidding me?!

In Japan, they have technical books written in comic/manga styles.

Even debugger can't beat this.

Two factor authentication atrocities 😍😍

My girlfriend knows what a coder needs when it’s their birthday. Lucky to have her. Walked into my room and it was set up like this.

Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.

*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......

*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*

Well, okay then.

"I'm not paying for a website that's going to be free to visit, that doesn't make sense"
-A million $ idea guy

This is so mean

PHP in 2030 :D

One of Google Easter eggs

Google and Siri, WTF!!

Could not help but repost it. 😂

Credits: Microsoft #devhumor

Roses are red..🌹🌹
Sky is blue...🌌🌌
unexpected '{' on line 72

My manager doesn't get it.

There is a petition

To change the word "No"

To "yesn't"

We have peaked

It feels stupid to see a simple google dork returning the list of your mistakes.

Duplex: Hi, Umm... Can I book 3 seats on Wednesday?

Restaurant: Sure! And what time is it?

Duplex: Yeah, Oh, I'd like it at NullPointer Exception if it's possible.

Restaurant: Invalid parameter "NullPointer Exception" restarting program...

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

When you get high on validation

People are worried that AI will replace them in their jobs.

But guys.

We are still using php.

I think we are safe for the next 200 years.