Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.

It feels stupid to see a simple google dork returning the list of your mistakes.

Simple way of storing keys.

So I accidentally published my AWS keys to GitHub, stupid me. I realize this the next day.

$ git reset
$ git push
Reset keys in AWS

I was too late. Bot already stole the keys and started up 53 EC2 instances. Racked up $4000+ of compute time (probably Bitcoin mining, I'd assume)

4 weeks later, I finally have this shit disputed and settled.

Don't test with hardcoded keys. You WILL forget about them. Env vars always. That is all.

Login :
Username - admin
Password - admin

"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"

"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."

*Dev in his 40's from our counter-part office.

Me: Here's my SSH keys.

Dev: What's this?

Me: SSH keys. Give me access to the repository.

Dev: We don't use any version control here. Let's just use FTP or Remote Desktop and just download the codes.

To the MSI genius that decided to put the < and } keys in two completely random and non-standard positions: 🖕🖕🖕🖕

Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down

Dumbest arrow key design ever.

Dear me,

We have noticed you uploaded files to a public github with your API keys in plaintext.

Please proceed to bang head against desk until you have learned your lesson.

Sincerely me.

Team Lead: Anyone has any concern on their tasks? I'll see what I can do to help.
Me: Yeah I'm afraid I would not be able to finish my task on time because of its complexity.
Team Lead: Try harder.

What's the point of asking?

Classes are classist.

Objects are objectifying.

Race conditions are racist.

Foreign keys are xenophobic.

Functions are ableist.

Thin clients are weightist.

Bitmasks perpetuate heteronormativity.

Code beautifiers promote unrealistic beauty expectations.

Test-driven development is victim blaming.

Forced commit pushes are rape.

Motherboards perpetuate gender roles.

And don't get me started on white space.

Friend: Hey, I managed to build my own UI.
Me: That's great, which programming language did you use?
Friend: Filezilla.
Me: No, I mean the language. The language you code in to build your UI ?
Friend: Notepad ++

KILL ME.

GitHub: a marketplace for publicly available API keys

Hit Save shortcut keys another 4 times just to be sure..

I generated my first SSH keys today. Am proud.

Dear outsourced developers. Don't send me your private SSH key by email. I don't need it, it allows me to access anything else you can access pretending I'm you, and it shows a misunderstanding of how SSH keys work. 🤦🏻‍♂️

I have never ever wanted to turn sticky keys on...

So Scratch is well crazy ass stupid, but for kids this is freaky awesome for a simple game builder that gets them interested.

This thing took like 10 minutes to make 😂

Move the witch with arrow keys and score points for catching the Ghouls.

"Well I don't know what foreign keys are so we won't be using them."

Sigh...

"I bet you push your private keys to the git repo"

Disabled fucking arrows keys in vim. Life is hell now.

I will be posting a lot more rants from now on as I am learning vim so bear with me.

we had this guy once, who we gave access to our private repo. everything's all good until we noticed that our amazon bill was USD 8,000+!!! we found out that lots of servers got created and that's bec. this guy forked our private repo and his fork was a public one. our keys were still not in .env files and were part of the commit so some bot got hold of it and accessed our amazon account. we suspected that the servers were used for bitcoin mining. anyway guy was fired on the spot and we also learned our lesson to keep keys out of repos.

My coworker shared account keys of Amazon aws on a public repo at Github. Took me around 3 days to find out and about 20 ec2 instances were created and running by a hacker...

Status update after my first day of my internship:
I realized I know literally nothing about SSH Keys.

Bye.

so i guess ill use my code.org teacher for this:

"credit card information is encrypted with the public keys"

"lists and arrays are the same thing"

"javascript is a powerful, fast, programming language" (bhahahaha)

"javascript is [only] used in web browsers"

"java and javascript are *extremely similar* but not the same"

"Oh you use vim? I use vim too! Check it out!"

*navigates using the arrow keys*

He then accidentally swallows his keyboard.

When you get so excited you burst out signing "🎶MY CODE IS ON FIRE🎶"(Alicia keys "this girl is on fire" reference) forgetting your in a room with your fellow developers.....

5 minutes later there still laughing

Why the ever living fuck would you arrange a digital keyboard alphabetically 😤

My colleagues broke down our AWS account by hard coding the AWS access API keys and pushing the same code to a public repository. This took down our system for nearly 3 days.

Encountered this is my computer science lab.

One of the most useless keys. Majority doesn't know what it does. And now there's two of it xD

All my 'real life' friends like:

- Why do you need two monitors?

- Why does your keyboard has keys that do nothing when pressed?

- You have a controller on pc?

- Hehehe. I found a funny meme on 9gag -.-

So I am running this crypto project that has dynamically generated private keys for a wallet stored in a Redis database. Nowhere else. The keys are generated on the fly.

At the moment of the happening the wallet had over 3.000 USD on it. I am testing new code locally, supposedly on a local Redis DB. Of a sudden, my code wipes the crypto keys and it turns out that I was connected to the live instance. 😱 Better don't ask me how.

Shock of my life. You know, when you turn pale and dark in your eyes, blood stops in your veins and you just want to die? Worst-case scenario that could have happened. All that money lost in crypto space.

Turns out, my good Redis hosting company kept backups for the past 7 days. Keys restored. Happiest moment of my life.

When you get fed up of using up and down keys to initiate commands, so you just create 2 extra command prompts and color code them so you know which one does what.

Oh Lenovo, why swap the FN and the CTRL keys, WHY DAMMIT??!!!!

The designer of this keyboard should be shot on sight! A set of keys left of ctrl, shift, tab...except esc of course. Pure evil! I'm changing the volume, every time that I have to use shift... :/

I really miss the days when Windows XP had product keys on stickers stuck to computer cases. If I ever needed an XP product key, I just went to Staples and wrote one down from one of the machines on display.

The use of git and understanding/working with foreign keys and performing (including the understanding) JOIN queries.

Also, it took me years and to understand OOP.

When think back to my code from before that, my brain spontaneously starts bleeding.

SQL gives me a hard on right now.

Two tables, 954 rows and 9414, connected via foreign keys and shit.

SELECT a_id,name,shit FROM table1 a JOIN table2 b ON a.id = b.a_id WHERE ((lower(name) LIKE '%lorem%') OR MATCH(name) AGAINST('lorem' WITH QUERY EXPANSION) OR name SOUNDS LIKE 'lorem')

and you got fuzzy search with resolved keys to another table in 0.047 sec, fuck me dude.

The worst part about using the computers at my school is that my $200 mechanical rgb programmable keyboard with macro keys is at home.

Front End vs Backend.

Today is my annual 'clean your keyboard' day. Anything used as much as a keyboard is bound to get dirty. Keep your gear clean kids.

omg apple does not like to make things easy! Trying to set up developer accounts for a company but a company can't be an agent? a team member who isn't an agent can't create certificates or keys?

Android development seems so easy and nice now

For the first time in 18 years, it only takes two keys to type the year. (2002)

My personal website was, and still is being, attacked by a massive botnet attempting to gain access to my server. How I secured it? Fail2ban and only ssh keys. 1000+ IP addresses banned so far.

Got new key caps for my keyboard, now I'm motivated to code!!

A few hours ago I decided it was a good idea to to clean up my keyboard. I did so and took a walk leaving the keys to dry.

After I came back I hoovered the -board and decided to put back the keys. I started with the special keys since they were the easiest to find (and some required a metal thing).

Now, I was quickly made aware of something that I had never known nor noticed before. Bear with me here as I'm not a person that cares too much about hardware unless I need to. (Hardware here meaning stuff like mice, keyboards, headsets, and stuff like that). But I learned that

Not all keys are the same size. They look really similar to someone like me. But I manned up and put the keys back.

A little under 1.5 hours later and I now posses a keyboard that is in uncanny valley. It doesn't feel like it though, and it shouldn't be that big of a problem since I never look at my keyboard anyway.

Messaged one of my m8's about and this was his reply

"nope
one kind per row
usually says the row on the underside"

Now fantasize about the elasmobranch fish which is characterized by a cartilaginous skeleton of which I am the proprietor at what he said. I pulled a key out and, sure enough, "C28 R1".

Now I am not sure about the 28th column, but it did fit in the first row.

Fuck me

I'm a web developer and know jack about hardware. My wife's personal laptop was going very slow so decided to upgrade to a SSD. How hard could it be?

Turns out to be very fiddly trying to disconnect and reconnect 4 ribbon cables. To get to the HD and replace it.

Restarted laptop and thought it was all good, but only certain keys worked and the mouse pad moved but didn't click?!?

Had to take it apart and reconnect twice more but now it's fully functioning once again.

Sticking to software in future. Massive respect to hardware specialists!

Today I learned the hard way that losing your app's key store means no more updating , bug fixing , performance boosting , features adding ...
The app had like 5k downloads on the play store ..
Lost the key when one of my hard drives burned ..
Lesson of the day : keep your keys safe .
*trying to stay strong*

Do you want to enable sticky keys ?

There's a special place in hell for those who don't provide keyboard shortcuts for commonly used commands.

It's shared with those who don't display the shortcut keys in the menus, so you can learn them.

I've set up my server to only accept logins with SSH-keys, and permanently banning all IP:s that attempt login with passwords.

Now I can't stop watching the banned IP:s stacking up, it's like drugs to me.

Not being able to raise volume of my laptop with only one hand because the fn and f11 keys are just one hand and 3mm apart really kills me !

Translated this golden bit from the Norwegian comic "Lunch" for you guys👍🏻

Frame 3:
Kjell: You see? Worn out again!
Tech: I can see that. How about we only replace the keys not working.

Frame 4:
Tech: ctrl + c ... and?
Kjell: V

😁🤓🎉

I've been training a client for a few months now to not use Slack for sharing passwords and other secure materials.

I really thought I had made great progress. I even had him using a password manager. Then out of nowhere he sends the wildcard SSL key pair to me and a handful of other devs in a Slack thread.

At least we aren't storing important information like medical records. Oh wait, that's exactly what we're doing.

So... We have a "network admin" who manages our network and the servers (windows) and I manage the Linux servers... He is having a real hard time to understand that the servers have no password but use ssh-keys to login and keep asking me for the credential to have them somewhere in case "something happens" like I quit or die...

!rant
Damn github is da shit.
I'm sure all of those people who ranted about committing their passwords and keys will be happy
PS. I don't know if this is new but I'm happy either way :D

Vendor: We are very professional and follow best practices, we know what we are doing. You should trust us.

Also Vendor 5 mins later: DB passwords, API keys and SSH keys in repo. AWS Access Keys shared in screenshots in email.

Me: 😭

I hate those movies/tv series in programmer just tap on some keys and says it's done. this makes programming/coding looks so easy.

FUCK YOU MAN ITS NOT EASYYYY

When you have all the keys of the hash map, but you don't have the key to her heart.

Sometimes my "L" keys stops working. Then I have to plug in another keyboard to press the "L" key there. After that I can unplug the second keyboard since the original key started to work again.

When your boss asks you to add 200 products to the system.......

MANUALLY.

How the hell does PR containing production secrets and private keys gets 3 approvals and gets merged upstream? 😬 🥴

Me: pipes something to less
Me: Find the info I need
Me: Press Ctrl+C to close less
*Nothing*
Me: Furiously smashes keys on keyboard
Me: Googles 'how to close less'
:q

You know you're in the wronk place, when the prod sql table have 473 columns, 0 index, 0 keys and the frontend is made in ms access. And the only possible way to connect to the (virtualized server) database is through citrix...

iEscape, the solution for missing keys in your MacBook Pro Late 2016.

Vim users, Apple have you covered!

FML

brought my children to the childcare, went home and I am faced with A FUCKING CLOSED DOOR OF MY HOME WITHOUT ANY KEY and MY COMPANY NOTEBOOK, WALLET AND KEYS INSIDE!!! 😬

HOLY SHIT DIHDJEIDXJG I DID NOT REALIZE THESE TWO KEYS WERE HERE. HOW HAVE I BEEN SO BLIND. NOW I CAN MAKE MULTILIJE COMMENTS AT EASE. HRHDHXHZHSH. AHAHAAHHAAAHAH

Wasted a total of 4 plus hours. Realized one of the windows registry keys I created wasn't working due to a typo. "comand" instead of "command". FML

While reviewing some DB work, I asked why most of the tables in the database didn't have indexes (some didn't even have primary keys).

He answered: "Well I thought they really didn't neeeeeeed them?"

When my poorly drawn character moves when i press the arrow keys.

finally, managed to learn moving in vim with hjkl instead of arrow keys.

NO, FOR THE 10TH FUCKING TIME I DON'T WANT TO TURN ON STICKY KEYS

This is the fucking data warehouse............

10 FUCKING INDEXES IN THE ENTIRE THING!

Btw...that includes Primary Keys

I didn't need it so far, haha.
I thought it would be good some programmable keys to write System.out.println and other codes 🤔

My worst bad practice:

Saving my Linux Root SSH Keys on a Cloud Storage company.

Have them there, so I wont loose them ever. I password protected them, but you never know what the NSA/FBI/CIA can do 😉

My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!

!dev
So my friend hit me with his car keys this Friday. Coming together nicely...

People who savagely strike the keys on their keyboard when they type. Why??!! Do you find it more effective somehow?

Any recommendation for a decent mechanical number pad? It seems either too expensive or using knock-off keys...

Every time I finish a project and have spent days mashing keys and gulping coffee to bring a simple but yet delicate thought to life.

You know you need to take a break when you start scrolling through webpage using `j` and `k` keys

We had a co worker that we once pranked by doing the old flip screen trick (ctrl+alt+down keys if I remember rightly). Except when he returned to see that his windows desktop had been rotated, he physically picked up the monitor and tried to balance it on its head to correct it. Nevertheless it subsequently fell over and we pointed and laughed.

This does NOT seem like a good idea!

At an auto parts store and was taking a look at the UI.

I FOUND A DINOSAUR!

More realistically I saw F20 as a shortcut key. How I know it wasn’t a typo? There was also F16. Wow. Even their keyboard stop at F12.

Talk about legacy program.

Not sure if it was 2016 or late 2015, but it's a fun story anyway (and if it's not you'll at least learn something from it).

Back at the time I was quite new to unit testing (weird how it has become second nature in a years time). I was writing some software that was supposed to send out some SMS to customers. Of course this had to be tested. However, it was a bit difficult to test (or so I thought) without actually receiving an SMS to know if it was sent. So I decided to use the live API key to make sure the sending of SMS was actually working correctly. I tried it a few times but didn't receive an SMS. So I kept working on it and running tests.

The testing setup I had at the time was just a continues loop that went through all tests to make sure it all still worked (I've moved to only checking on file changes now, but that is besides the point). Keep in mind I was still running these tests, in a loop, with the _live_ API key.

So the end of the working day arrives and I go home and sit in the train. All of the sudden I receive some test SMS. I was thinking "hey nice, it did work". Then I started receiving more. It soon turned out to be an alarmingly big amount of SMS. It stopped around 100, but don't think that was the end of it. Oh no. I had changed the number to send the SMS to from my own number to a different number (+31612345678 to be exact, which I found out later isn't an actual phone number. I really hope I was right about that). I was beginning to become nervous, but there wasn't much I could do.

The next day I returned to work and checked the API for sent SMS. Turns out I had sent a couple of thousand (I think between two and three thousand) SMS in a couple of hours. Most of them to the test number I had supplied.

This probably cost the company a couple of hundred euros. Luckily my colleagues and team leader all thought it was pretty funny, but did tell me not to do it again. And I haven't of course.

Lesson learned: don't use live API keys during testing (among other things :)).

So yeah that was probably my worst dev experience.

Just noticed that the media control keys on my keyboard are recognized by the Google Play Music webapp

I'm currently explaining how SSH Keys work, did I do well?

How rich could you become by selling secret keys found in open source github repo's?

I just managed to configure a second keyboard to map its keys to separate keycodes. Basically, I should be able to use it as a complete macro deck 😏 Thank god for Linux

So I have the new Mac book pro for 8 months now, always thought that the butterfly keyboard issue will never happen to me.

Until three days ago I noticed my space key is kinda sticky.
I have an external monitor so I don’t recall any time I spill water or food directly on the keyboard.

So I made an appointment for a walk in.

BUT this morning, I was like: man, fuck this shit and smashed the space key.

Now it’s fixed.

Good

Note to my future self:
A 2048Bit SSH key is minimum,
4096Bit is good enough
8182Bit is too much
16364Bit... why do I even bother about this size

One time I took out a colleagues letter keys except the ones needed to spell freezer (in croatian) and left the message freezer on the keyboard, took the remaining keys, put them in a bottle which I filled with water and put them in the freezer overnight (left work the day before earlier than him).
A positive was that the keys were real clean. Negative was the rest of the keyboard was dirty :)
Was a good laugh, though.

I've just seen the documentation of an api I have to communicate with, and facepalmed when I have seen that some actions return 404 on success. And more bizarre things... Just wanted to make it worse for me, didn't you?
Once at it. Why don't you glue spikes onto my keys?
Ffs

What is the condition to join two tables ?
Programmer: primary keys match.
Non-Programmer: The tables height must match.😐

So at the old job, i needed support for an issue relating to Amazon S3. We used a third party Python plugin for sending files to our buckets, but had some pretty severe performance issues when trying a 2-way sync.
Naturally, I sought help on StackOverflow, and was asked to share my config. Without much thought, I pasted the config file.
Next comment made me aware that our API id and key was listed in this config (pretty rediculous to keep such private info in the same file as configuration, but oh well).
I edited my question and removed the keys, and did not think about the fact that revisions are stored.

Two weeks later, my boss asks me if I know why the Amazon bill is for 25.000$ when it used to be <100$ 😳

I've never been so scared in my life. Luckily, Amazon was nice enough to waive the entire fee, and I leaned a little about protecting vital information

I was deaf but now i'm half blinded ! :/
(Glad i know the place of the keys)

So boered cuz i cant code or even read a book!
FUUUUUCK !!!!

phpMyAdmin

Well, it is not my favorite open source project... I almost never have to use DBs, but when I do, it just saves my life. I can create the tables, keys without worring about any SQL command.

But day to day life is GNU/Linux, Firefox, bash/zsh, git... There are lots of opensource tools that I use, and love, everyday. :)

So my Xcode was taking forever to archive and export builds. I opened keychain access and deleted all certificates and keys except the one distribution cert. there weren't many, must have been around 14, but that reduced archive time from 15 to 5 mins, and export time from 1.5 hours to 10 minutes! Yay!! :)

Fuck you windows 10. Fuck you private keys. Fuck you tortoise git. Fuck you git bash. Fuck you cygwin. Want 3x hours of my life back. Had an auth problem... Had to reinstall all the above on windows to connect to my private repo. Took me 5 minutes to connect after reinstalling all the tools. Grrrrrrr. And I'll never know why it wouldn't connect apart from fatal protocol error: bad line length character..I tried ever stack overflow answer... I nearly bricked my gitlab CE...and it was windows being a motherslut

I really need to kick Tim Cook in the ass.
“Everything Works”, yeah tell that to your dead dog.
Debugging watchos experience:
I need to uninstall main app for watch app to register changes in code.
Xcode crashes during debugging.
Cannot SET custom keys in Info.plist, in watch target, ohhhh goood, but thats where app configuration is set, how and why do you care about simple string keys!!! What now i need to send that configuration from main app??
Tim Cook just go die please, you have ruined apple.

not mine... from 9gag and i think we all need this

You're a developer?

Fix the TV. Fix the wifi connection. Fix the remote control.

Loving everything about the new Apple keyboard except the cursor keys. Moving up and down is soooooooooo fliddly!

My boss's SQL schema has no foreign keys and he said he left them out intentionally because they should be handled in the application layer and they're a large performance impact.

This is a fresh greenfield project and he's already pre-optimizing for problems we don't have yet, on things that may or not be bottlenecks using ideas (e.g. foreign keys have huge performance costs on mariadb/auora) with no hard data or facts to back them up.

Let's start a new project with some technical debt!

Apple please... I just love physical keys, and you just make a pointless touchbar...

I really don't know the position of a macbook pro. I guess mainly graphic designer or programmer will buy macbook pro, and the touch bar feature is a completely pointless to us.

Not to mention that you replace all the USB port to a really "popular type C USB"

When creating auto incrementing integer keys on a MySQL database, please mark then as unsigned, you don’t need a negative primary key 😞😞😞

It's 2017 and every keyboard on Earth still has vertically unaligned keys !
And if you think it's for ergonomic reason, you're wrong ! It's just something we inherited from goddamn typewriters.
It's time to let that go !
Far far away in the past.
Right next to floppy disks, MySpace and Nicolas Cage !

my phone based set up. guess who provisions all the phones to our platform. then tests 9 million phones and takes the flack when users press incorrect keys or their internet goes down on site and it 'must be a provisioning issue'......this asshole.

Next week, I'll be with a new company - this week I'm scouring the corporate laptop for all the places I stashed personal SSH keys and AWS credentials.

Does anyone else have a preferred side to use the Crtl/shift/alt keys?

I've almost always used the keys on the left side of keyboard.

What is the porpose of this key next to the left shift??? Instead of giving me a wider shift key, you gave me two forward slash keys... WHY?! I suspect Microsoft is behind that.

After many teeth clenching failed deployment to production attempts and finally realizing I forgot didn't add ssh keys

neat, ansible control server on my phone, now I can transfer my playbooks and ssh keys and have it execute things on the go.

IT'S CAPS RANT TIME!
MYSQL ERRORS ARE SO USELESS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I JUST WANT TO ADD A FOREIGN KEY BUT 'Cannot add foreign key constraint' KEEPS COMING UP, AND THE STACK OVERFLOW ANSWERS INDICATE THAT IT COULD BE -LITERALLY- ANYTHING!

THIS IS OF COURSE, AFTER PHPMYADMIN GIVES ITS OWN ERRORS FOR TRYING TO USE THE DESIGNER TO ADD THE RELATION. IT ONLY WANTS UNIQUE FOREIGN KEYS, DESPITE ONE OF THE MAIN USES OF FOREIGN KEYS BEING MANY-TO-MANY AND ONE-TO-MANY RELATIONS!

foreign keys, please

kthxbye

I went on vacation, and when I came back, they had removed all of the keys from my keyboard and put them in a bag, and placed the bag and my mouse and some other items in my overhead bin, and then they closed it and locked it, and my desk, and stuffed the keys up in the overhead bin, and this innocent little guy was hanging by a noose from the ceiling over my desk.

I noticed this morning that someone switched the keys around on my keyboard. I asked my coworkers about it and they said they did that as a prank went I was out on vacation. That was the first week of August and I just noticed...

Can you tell what keys were used the most?

Got to clean the keyboard now.

"Here is one of the few effective keys to the design problem — the ability of the designer to recognize as many of the constraints as possible — his willingness and enthusiasm for working within these constraints. Constraints of price, of size, of strength, of balance, of surface, of time and so forth." - Charles Eames

Ctrl and S will definitely be the first keys I have to replace...
Hitting them after every keystroke I make.
Safety first kids!

How the hell some devs are releasing to production before passing to QA, Alpha testing, staging at least handle all type of errors and hide your API Keys.

*sets up digital ocean droplet
*adds ssh keys, enables private networking, hooks it into everything else
*adds roots in pycharm
*realizes I forgot to set it up with the one click app I wanted
*destroys droplet
*repeat

I noticed Facebook allowed vim keys navigation, I didn't realise this until I had scrolled through at least half a dozen posts.

So, I'll explain how my day went with just 2 sentences.

1: Difference between crontab -e and crontab -r.
2: The keys 'E' and 'R' are right next to each other!

If you've understood what just happened, your next question should be "Jason, which environment?"

"PRODUCTION!!!"

So, apple has removed function keys from its laptops...

Yep.

Rant.TYPE_REAL_LIFE

So I go for a run for the first time, well, ever. I put my keychain in my pocket and I'm off with my headphones on. Come back home I FUCKING LOST MY WHOLE KEYCHAIN. Key to my house, my apartment, the garage remote, .. fucking dogshit man. Tried to track it down by going down the same path twice but no luck so now my only hope is the police but what are the odds :/

I love when teachers know nothing about technology and when something closes, or in their mind “their pc breaks”, they hit a bunch of random buttons or keys and make it worse.

My CTO uses an array instead of objectto keep list of items with random numerical keys. I told him you’re creating multiple unintended undefined members in between, he said: yeah that’s how silly JavaScript is :-|

Well since vim & git has already been said gpg. you can use it as ssh keys and sign your commits to make sure nothing nasty is added to a git repo under your name

>use atom
>move hand from home row to arrow keys to mous to home row
>start getting annoyed
>remember vim did this weird hjkl thingy I always wondered why
>discover atom vim-mode-plus
>fall in love with all the amazing things vim can apparently do

Putting the API keys, secrets and passwords in the code and pushing it to git.

Question for vim veterans:

I am fairly confident with vim. I know a couple of commands like delete line, delete under cursor, copy, paste, undo and stuff like that.

So in command mode it's hjkl to move the cursor, which is a good idea because I won't have to move my right palm to the arrow keys.

However, in insert mode, if I needed to move the cursor, I would still have to move my left palm to the esc key in order to use hjkl. Why not just use the arrow keys then?

Swapped the F10 and F11 keys on sister's keyboard. She can't figure out why F11 won't go Fullscreen

Why do I have a hard time finding a new job when senior devs are not only changing the data model, but naming keys "key" and "value"!?
"Oh look, a SQL error."

Keysoup

When your client sends a cropped screenshot of the API keys and you spend half an hour typing it out multiple times trying to match it and failing, then another 30min trying to explain the simple process of copying and pasting text.

You can send a cropped screenshot but not use Ctrl-C Ctrl-V or right-click copy right-click paste.

So a while back I got a new Mac book pro for work, and it was nice for a while, until the keyboard broke, so I gave it to apple so that they would 'repair' it, and although, they gave me a new keyboard, the keys were still garbage, and a while later broke again... and this is the second time that I've had to spend a week without a computer because of shitty butterfly keys... 😢😢😢

Tarball of source code from a big manufacturer served on their open src page...
They forgot to delete the .git subdir!
Private keys and signing tools for everybody!!!!

P.S It's fixed by now, don't get your hopes up :P

I just want to thank Apple that has switched the Alt and Cmd keys. Every time I use an external keyboard I thank them...

My colleague once left his PC unlocked while he went out to lunch, and I decided to change his keyboard layout to Dvorak. Worst thing is, he pecked at the keys, so he never looked up at his monitor. 50 lines later, he looks up and wonders why he has errors xD

Set-up a 5 node EC2 cluster in AWS; Install my dependencies on all; Add private keys between all for handshake; Submit my Hadoop job for processing; AWS closes my instance within 10 minutes of starting a job that took me almost half an hour to set-up because the master node's spot costs have reached more than 15 USD :(

The programmer is seated behind the piano.
He then looks at the piano keyboard and explains:
'The keys are quite uncomfortable, the distance from the up and down is very long...'
But it's awesome that the shift can be pushed by the leg.

Greetings from Estonia

Thought function keys were man's best friend. Now no more

Question for people familiar/knowledgeable about hardware keys;

Do you know if the OnlyKey could be considered safe/secure and if not, any idea as for alternatives?

My requirements would be nearly all the features that OnlyKey has, water/shockproof and the system should at least be open source.

We had a system in the office were just pressed 0 on the keyboard to go back one step in the program. My kast day at the worn I removed all 0 keys from all the keyboards in the offfice and hid them.

my work drives me crazy sometimes, our production tables dont have primary keys or indexes. There are several tables who are basically the same, most scripts/reports are hacked together with no common agreement on dates/values and as a result, it is almost impossible to check whether values are correct or not.

Storing private keys for code signing on SVN.

Dear debian package maintainers...
If you want me to add you PPA to my list please MAKE SURE IT FUCKING WORKS!

so after 1000 emails from Google baiting me to try Google cloud tools I did. 24 hours later apt-get is dead and I'm trying to remove the shit storm of gpg keys etc it added to my machine.

Today is a funny Monday: all the people at office forgot their keys at home (me included, also boss included) Until we can enter the office, I'm going to code at public library. At least I'm happy to carry portable Notepad++ in my pendrive!!

well, FUCK, this api that im trying to use has ReCaptcha(NoCaptcha)
FUCKIN GREAT
i dont care if your api is not publicly documented, and that you store api "keys" on browser cookies on plaintext, but AT LEAST TELL US if you deprecated the api and use a new one that has no documentation, kinda hard to make a python wrapper, thx -_-

And they are here. :) when you are happy and you know. Tap your keys 😂

What is the maximum distance you can cover with your fingers on the first row of keys on your keyboard?

Posting API keys for a payment gateway with a regular POST form as a "hidden" field

How do you keep track of your servers? their credentials/ssh keys, opened ports, services, IP, domain etc?

Video Editing..

First time video editor, check !

Download and install, check !

Try to edit video..

Hmmm.. not obvious controls..

No trouble, watch how to video !

Which then says, this is how you do it, without telling you what keys or icons to press !

Why are these things always so difficult..

"we removed function keys the obsolete tech, to add... Function keys"

Feedback time!
Really loving it here, thanks y'all!!
Scrolling using your volume keys is something I'd like, I've used it on another app (9gag) and I wish more apps had that feature (it can be enabled/disabled). Those are just my
$0.02
Thanks again!

Is it coincidental that the two most important keys that help us devs build our CVs, the C and V keys are inline on our keyboards? And look at that Ctrl key...That's what happens after too many rounds of copying and pasting...All hail Ctrl, C and V keys

A prototype being used as production code written in procedural PHP with the code drawn using echo and MySQL (not MySQLi) all mixed together and the configuration with world readable database stored as config.inc.
All backed by a database with no foreign keys or data integrity of any kind.

Google play music "I'm feeling lucky" radio has played 3 black keys songs in a row since I started this.. Coincidence?

Is it good or bad that I forgot to push an critical buggfix to production just before I went home?

Hopefully I can update from home (think one of our servers has an backup of the ssh keys)

My keybo§rd is broken. I tested it on two different m§chines, ch§nged keybo§rd l§yout, tried to cle§n it up, but no luck. Left side of 2wsx keys is completly useless. I'm so dis§ppointed@@@ ( @ used to be excl§m§tion m§rk :( )

My keychain is getting heavy.

I have my house key ofcourse, then there is a short chain for my car keys, and last but not least 3 flash drives with different linux distributions

How do you remove oily keys on keyboard?

What I’ve tried so far are rub it using a pencil eraser and clean it using cotton with alcohol.
Damn. I’m having a hard time to remove it.

Friend of mine messaged me about sites being down, of course Im at a family dinner with no laptop or ssh keys with me so no way to fix it!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

There’s got to be a record to how quickly I’ve fucked something up. Most recent record? Twitter API, accidentally archived a glitch project that had my keys in it. 30 minutes.

An arts online magazine. The manager needs to include ads but don't want to do it on a obstructive or invasive way. So far so good, I agree.

Since this is an arts and culture mag, he gets the idea of having a piano keyboard on the sidebar. Each of the keys has to be animated so that on hover it seems to move and play a note. When clicked, it displays an ad. The user don't know or see the ad until he/she plays the note.

Of course no one bought any of the keys. Hours of work wasted.

We all hate ads but some workarounds are not worth it.

So there are a few bugs with IDEA and qwertz keyboards, namely there are combos on @ { < keys (you know, not that i would use those in java). After setting it to qwerty, manually deleting every shortcut and restarting the whole damn universe, still nothing. Very useful, 10/10, would use again.

Except not.

Recently changed up my keyboard and bought a US style instead of my usual UK style, but changed it in Windows so I still have all my keys where I expect them.
But how the hell do you guys live with the tiny ass enter button? My pinkie is bigger than it!

i wanted to switch tabs in my code editor but i accidentally pressed the wrong shortcut keys and discovered a brand new feature in ubuntu....

*flashbacks to all the times i've accidentally pushed api keys to master*

I was celebrating Christmas Eve with my family, I'm now here outside my home without my keys.

If you're having a bad day, think about the fact that BuzzFeed reporters have PGP keys for confidential tips

vi keys suck, using hjkl to navigate the cursor is so unnecessarily unintuitive.

Who cares about the "muh homerow keys"

and this is why you dont let a first timer build your database....

"has 34 column names in index key list. The maximum limit for index or statistics key column list is 16"

fellow dev thought he was being clever, hiding his private ssh keys inside image files on a public web server...

Argh my Macook Pro utterfly keyord no longer works! How am I suppose to code now?

Why there isn't a special key on the keyboard which includes "; + enter"?
Or in general a keyboard with special keys for developers? 🤔

e.g. open/close brackets with one key, or "/>" as one single key., or ") + {"

;-) this is "find a store" page of an International ISP.
they cannot even handle their google api keys.
how they can handle my data.

In today's episode of "how i got almost to the point of insanity for hours and the sudden realization and relief"

When you have ssh error saying your private key is an invalid format in your CI, you probably just missed an EOL.

MCP says EOL.

Fucking EOL

That is the realization i made after half a day wasting on debugging this.

The only relationships that exist in my life, are the ones in my projects' ER diagrams. And they too are infected with foreign keys..!

What is the cheapest and closest to "decent" cloud computing provider you've come across? I'm currently using scaleway ARMs -- all thanks to someone posting scaleway's name and comparing server prices to a cup of morning coffee :) . It's OK, really can't complain (although it's somewhat silly to sync ssh keys on-boot only IMO). Is there anything cheaper with no less quality?

who else is kinda disturbed and somewhat annoyed by the new apple touchbar?

i just want my function keys back😩

wtf have you done apple😞

How often do you guys use mouse/track pad ?
I started being a programmer, I like doing most of my work the keys way.

Sometimes the "L" and "S" keys are a little TOO close to each other in Dvorak layout. Yeah, I just did this:

<button type="button">Select Ass</button>

Accidentally using Resharper hot keys in Outlook (ctrl-enter) to autocomplete something and incomplete email is immediately sent out.

10-15 small apps, 2-3 major apps, 1 very large very cumbersome database. 1 million+ tables with no foreign keys or associations. Lord help me.

How many secret SSH keys has Apple already captured with their shiny new iCloud Clipboard Sync on Sierra?

I got many reasons to hate my old Dell Studio-1557, but if there is one thing I love about it, it is its keyboard. I don't have much technical keyboard knowledge, but it's just comfortable for me. Wide keys and short keystrokes, no gaps between them (keys are actually sloped on the edge and fit together) and most importantly, no num pad.
So now that i feel it needs to be retired after 9 yrs of loyalty, i can't find a successor for it that have my old Studio's keyboard-feel. Most of laptops in the market have small keys with orthogonal edges and lots of space wasted as gaps between them (like new Dells), a useless (for me) num pad and worst of all, small miniature arrow keys (like thinkPad) and other navigations seems to be new designers fashion.

I'd be glad if some one introduce me a laptop with a similar keyboard to mine (in the picture)
Or what do you propose, should i care about the keyboard at all? are these new designs easy to take up with? wouldn't i suffer a keyboardalgia?

edit: no macs btw :)

This weekend, I bought a mechanical keyboard to use at work. I'm worried the clicking sound will bother my co-workers around me. Does anybody know if bringing the keyboard to work will make people hate me?

It's a Logitech G610 with Cherry MX Red switches. I ordered some rubber o-rings on Amazon to dampen the keys. They should be coming in tomorrow. Should I risk bringing the keyboard into work before I dampen the keys?

Need to write a query to find all scheduled reports, sounds easy, right?

Not in a system with over 1k tables all with obscure names and absolutely no foreign keys at all.

What's the best way to learn C#? Need some answers from all the experts here yo!

#CloudStories

If its not working, try to open all ports on security group. You can then also give your home keys, your address and credit cards details to some random, homeless guy.

!Worst, being put on the project a day before release

!Best, finding and fixing all the data model issues before release, so that the next time I have to pull stats about the system, everything actually makes sense, as all foreign keys and indexes would be explicitly defined for once.

So I had to travel to the city for a team project I was working on. On arrival, I stopped to check-in at a hotel and was given the keys to room 404. I climbed the awfully complicated stairs for about five minutes only to not find the room in the end.