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SkillsJS, AngularJS, Python
Joined devRant on 9/20/2016
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Real HR policy ...
HR Manager in Heaven!!!
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "
"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules."
And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
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"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies9 -
Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.9
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Dealing with a client that won't pay:
Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until the site completely fades away...17 -
Never ask a woman about their age.
Never ask a man about their wage.
Never ask a dev about their bugs.7 -
When a MacBook user says..."Unlike Windows, Macs don't get infected plus they're faster than Windows anyway". And I'm all like..23
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Just cloned a 90 GB Virtual Box, 15 minutes later when the clone was 90% done, I got an error message saying that I don't have enough disk space (I had only 80 GB). WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT 15 MINUTES TO GET THAT INFORMATION????4
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I was fired by a client about a month back. I had spent about a year building a web application using angular.js for said client. Of course, it was my fault because it took about 8 months longer than I had forecasted but I believe what I was shooting for was something solid. I went as far as giving a full refund of the initial deposit on the project. My take away was I learned something new, going in I wasn't remotely aware of such things as CI/CD. Sad thing though they are trying to rebuild the app using wix.5
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Just finished reading this gem from start to end. It is over 20 years old and it is crazy how it is still up to date and applicable. Great work.8
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Any coding challenge that doesn’t start with modifying an existing code base ignores what 95% of software engineering is.2
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When you go to a doctor and he starts to google your symptoms in front of you and reads you texts from wikipedia page of the disease he assumes you have, then writes you a prescription for some random meds.
Maybe he was a dev before.5 -
On his first week at job, the junior says:
Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.27