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Never ask a woman about their age.
Never ask a man about their wage.
Never ask a dev about their bugs.7 -
"Art is never finished, only abandoned"
-Leonardo Da Vinci
"Software is never finished, only abandoned"
-Me8 -
"It is just a small task. I can do that in just..." Never ever ever say the above statement even if you are 10000% confident.5
-
"It must work in IE6, we still use it in our offices."
While developing a JavaScript web app for a bank with 10 000+ employees. In 2014.8 -
HR girl sent a generic email with the job description and benefits of the company but forgot to set it as BCC.
Not 3 minutes passed that all the 73 recipients of the mail (me inlcuded) start replying to all making jokes about it, ranting about HR in general.
An hour later we created a Facebook page called "not-BCC guys" where we keep us posted about opening positions in our companies to bypass future HR hunting interactions.1 -
You know what's the difference between
- static page written purely in HTML with inline styling
and
- dynamic page generated in PHP, that actually loads data from MySQL database and is correctly styled in separate CSS document
on national level exam necessary to earn a title of technician?
ONE HACKING PERCENT!
Ok, backstory. So, few days ago I got results from that exam. To be honest, it was very, very easy so I wasn't worried at all, unlike some of my classmates who just don't understand programming at all (you need at least 75% to pass). Our task was to create database, write website in PHP that shows contents of that database and use CSS to give it a look that of example web page and run it on XAMPP. I've got result of 96% and while I was wandering what I've done wrong i hear my colleague almost screaming with joy "I passed! And I haven't even touched PHP. I was soooo sure I'll fail." So I asked him what's his result and he says 95%. And then another colleague said he got 95% without PHP. So, in other words what I thought to be the main task was worth 1%. Apparently, what was more important was for the page to look identical to the example, so I guess some examiners didn't even look into the source. And don't get me wrong, I don't wish my classmates had failed. That's not why I'm ranting. But why in the name of Ada Lovelace the task said to use PHP and all that if it weren't supposed to check our knowledge of programming in PHP? Sometimes I think the people who design these tests don't even know what they're doing.10 -
Never gonna git you up
Never gonna pull you down
Never gonna fork away
it's a bad day!
Never gonna git you up
Never gonna commit again
Never gonna get issues
That's how it goes3 -
Cool. 300$ in Google Cloud credits. Maybe I can get to one of those cool projects I’ve been wanting to get to.
spins up server
installs npm
installs mongo
installs express
installs vue
installs material design components
makes title bar and navigation
*okay, good enough for now, i’ll come back later*
*never gets around to it, and 300$ in free credits get exhausted by server running 24/7*13 -
First time I've seen an app which willingly, intelligently, and sensibly turns off its own daily notifications after I never used their app for many many weeks.
Props to the devs for taking into account people like me,who are just too lazy to disable an app's notifications. Also Enki is absolutely incredible for devs so go check it out :D
13 -
My dad has been working for IBM for almost 30 years now. A couple years back, when we were traveling, he just stopped and changed directions going "ooohhh"... Apparently IBM used to make atms and he just saw one and just had to make a withdrawal... 😅1
-
Recruiter Email: We need experience in Doker!
Dev: I could potentially be interested, what is this new technology? I've never heard of Doker!
Recruiter: It's not super new, it's the traditional Doker! You know, good ol' Doker!
Dev: Like Poker? Or Joker? 🤡
Recruiter: What?
Dev: What?9 -
Best non-technical description of why we hate to post in forums (shamelessly copied from Shamus Youngs blog found here: http://shamusyoung.com/twentysidedt...) ->
ALLEN: Hi, I’m new to driving and I need to move my car back around 5 meters. How can I move the car backwards?
(2 days later.)
ALLEN: Hello? This is still a problem. I’m sure someone knows how to do this.
BOB: I can’t believe you didn’t figure this out yourself. Just take your foot off the gas and let the car roll backwards down the hill. Tap the bake when you get to where you want to be. Boom. Done.
ALLEN: But I’m not on a hill. I’m in my driveway and it’s completely flat.
CARL: Dude, I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but you should never be driving backwards. It’s dangerous and will confuse the other drivers. See the big window in FRONT of you? That’s your first clue. Don’t drive backwards.
ALLEN: I’m not trying to drive backwards. I just need to move back a little bit so I can get out of my driveway and start driving forwards.
CARL: So just drive in circle until you’re pointed the right way.
ALLEN: I don’t have enough room to turn around like that. I only need to move back a few meters. I don’t understand why this has to be so hard.
CARL: Sounds like your “driveway” isn’t compatible with cars. It’s probably made for bikes. Call a contractor and have them convert some of your yard into driveway to be standards-compliant with the turning radius of a car. Either way, you’re doing something wrong.
DAVE: I see your problem. You can adjust your car to move backwards by using the shifter. It’s a stick located right between the passenger and driver seats. Apply the clutch and move the stick to the “R” position.
ALLEN: But.. I don’t have a clutch. And there isn’t a stick between the seats.
CARL: Sounds like you’re trying to drive in Europe or something.
ALLEN: Ah. Nevermind. I figured it out.8 -
Request: I don't like the way the page looks. Make it better.
Question: can you give me some more info? What is it that you dislike about the page? You approved the design, the mockup, the HTML version...and we just finished implementing the backend. Can you be more specific?
Response: make it more like this *gives link to completly new layout from a theme on themeforest*. Why does mine not look like this. Make it like this!
Reaction: *fuck this shit, never freelancing again...* Well, then do it yourself. I'm done!
// best feeling ever :)3 -
Sometimes I feel like a freak. So many rants are about things that just never seen to happen to me.
I've been using Windows 10 since release, never had an update while I was working.
I've never gotten a virus from an ad, abs don't use AdBlock.
I've never had a crash that lost my work, I save neurotically or the program automatically saved.
I've never had trouble with typing in any language, static or dynamic.
I've never had issues with semicolons, IDEs or compilers tell me the issue explicitly.
I guess I'm just weird or something :/15 -
What programming has taught me:
Never trust yourself, never trust your code...
And never believe that when it was working in the past, it would work again...2 -
Client: thank you for working through your weekend w___. We really appreciate that.
Me: can you please appreciate on LinkedIn?2 -
I once explained to my teacher that i had trouble getting started with programming after a longer break and wondered if he had any smart ways to get into programming again. He smiled and explained that:
"There are no great ways to get into programming, the trick is to never really get out of it".
Best tip I've ever gotten.1 -
“Never,never, never, NEVER eat raw userinput“
Referring to stuff like “insert into foo (bar) values ($_POST[username])“2 -
Don't try to make it perfect. For the love of god don't. It will never be and you will never finish anything5
-
Never assume you know better
Never assume others know better
Never assume others know
Never assume
Trust, but verify [doveriaj, no proveriaj]6 -
Hardware development needed 3 months more than estimated so PM cuts this time on the software development to keep the schedule.
That's gonna be a big success.9 -
Today I found my sister take a photo of her laptop screen with ms word open to share her class report which is just pure text file4
-
HAVE YOU JUST TRIED TO BARGAIN ON MY ESTIMATE?!
I really hate when people try to bargain on my estimates. It's done when I say so. I really think it through before I tell you the deadline, so GO FUCK YOURSELF PLEASE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP. NEVER EVER BARGAIN ON THAT AGAIN.
If you do, it will take one week longer for every time you try it.7 -
This is horrifying. Testing code seems to have been an afterthought that ended up ruining dozens of peoples’ lives.
“Bad software sent postal workers to jail, because no one wanted to admit it could be wrong”
https://theverge.com/2021/4/...11 -
What I've learned so far in Ubuntu
1. Never mess with root directory
2. Never mess with scary command
3. Never install additional DEs
4. Never close terminal while something is going on
Or you have to install Ubuntu again
Although I love Ubuntu7 -
TL;DR — Never ever use work chat to gossip about work. NEVER.
—
Just some minutes ago, my boss asked a mate to move aside from his computer and began checking out some docs.
By the tone he used, I assumed something was wrong, I stood from my workplace and went to grab something from the kitchen. Came back and he was looking through a thread in slack between a mate and another work mate.
I thought he was going to send something to himself but then he asked me if I could help printing out the screen. Took a quick look and they were talking shit about him.
Now, it'll be an awkward silence until I go home and those two stay to argue about that thread.
Sheez.9 -
Once got 3rd place in a company "code golf". It was open to any language or platform.
I built a functional minesweeper game in Excel with 600 lines of code, complete with color and animation.
The JavaScript version won with 342 lines.4 -
Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.
Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.29 -
Never posted on 9Gag, never twittered and almost never posted on Facebook, because I thought it is unnecessary and not interesting. But man, ranting here feels so good with every ++ I get 😁
-
LOL Have I Been Pwned has pwned itself, cost-wise. Here the steps:
1) Go all in on cloud shit like Azure
2) Think you're a smartass
3) Trick the cost side with even more cloud, this time Cloudflare
4) Be not quite as smart as you think
5) Enjoy your 7000 EUR bill
6) Make some tweaks and continue with step 2.
Source: https://troyhunt.com/how-i-got-pwne...
Bonus laughter: he's a "Microsoft Most Valuable Professional", though not an actual employee.27 -
So.. we humans are never going to have total peace, are we? Yep, thought so. It’s about time I start accepting this fact.34
-
Isn't it just nice to throw away hours of work because you were given wrong requirements?
I worked late last night to finish a project with an incoming deadline, and for what? That's right, for fucking nothing. Hours wasted. Just because I was told the form was to be submitted to an endpoint that I would receive later on.
Turns out that what I actually need to do is embed some form from a third-party service. So the form that I already implemented (with styles and logic) isn't needed. What's worst, I have to redo all the styles to match this embed form.
Thank you so much for that. 🖕Never again will I work late. I should have known better by now... -
imagine your ego being more important than doing something the right way
welcome to corporate hell
this is one of the top reasons (but of course definitely not the ONLY reason) i'll never join the rat race
would rather be a homeless 🤡 (slowly succeeding in this one)4 -
Once worked with a PM in a company that was downsizing. Rumors were flying about who was getting cut. He heard his name was on the list and went on a rampage in the office. Cursing every member of management out and turned his office upside down before telling everyone to go fuck themselves and walking out.
Turns out his name wasn't on the cut list.2 -
Manager: Hey software engineer, how's the project going?
Software Engineer: Good, just debugging my code.
Manager: Debugging? What kind of bug are you trying to fix?
Software Engineer: The ones that make my computer turn into a lava lamp.
Manager: Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, how can I help?
Software Engineer: Well, I need a bigger monitor. My current one doesn't have enough real estate to display all the errors.
Manager: How about a second monitor?
Software Engineer: No, I need a bigger universe.
Manager: I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep coding. We have a deadline to meet.
Software Engineer: No problem, I have all the time in the world. I just need to find a way to slow down time.
Manager: I wish I had your optimism. Just let me know if you need anything else.
Software Engineer: How about a unicorn? I heard they're good at coding.
Manager: I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, stick to using a keyboard.3 -
!rant, but whatever... At least it brightened my day.
So, I was walking to my school, when I saw a visibly "tired" guy (you know, a lot must've happened yesterday evening / night) walking on the other side of the road in the opposite direction. He crossed the street with the wobble of uncalibrated drone and at that point I knew what is going to happen. Or so I thought.
So we're walking towards each other. At one point he looks at me.
Me: *thinking* "Yep, he saw me. I'm going to be asked for money, am I not? Ugh, I have to think about excuse. Again..."
He: "dude..."
Me: *thinking* "Mmkey, here we go again"
He: "dude, don't do drugs... 'cuz they're bad"
And he walks away.
So, I guess today's lesson is you'll never know when you're going to get friendly advice from random people.4 -
Why do planes crash or never take off? Because vertical-alignment never does what it's supposed to.1
-
We're no strangers to code
You know the conventions and so do I
A full commit is what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other dev
I just want to tell you about my problem
Gotta make you solve it for me
Never gonna git you up, never pull you down
Never gonna rant around and rebase you
Never gonna merge your branch, never gonna say $#@*!!
Never gonna risk a cry and build you2 -
Company requests that I do overtime to meet deadlines, I start working overtime, a week later I get an email "clarifying" the rules for overtime. None of which I have complied with because I didn't know about the fucking rules because they never told me about them.
Now they will "try their best" to put the hours through for me but they can't promise anything.
That's 10 hours of my life I probably won't get back, just glad I didn't do more now.4 -
So at the moment I'm developing a RESTful API for an internal project at work and I'm starting to learn and understand about HTTP status codes.
So I started incorporating proper response HTTP status etc, but my co-workers don't understand what any of it means. They think that just sending a JSON response is enough with any messages should be enough. I think this mindset stems from people who just do simple AJAX calls in JavaScript just to get or store data.
It's these kind of developers that I find are lazy or have no motivation to improve themselves, which is disappointing.5 -
Some people should get their heads out of their asses to actually see that their fucking bad mood wont lighten up by randomly throwing insults around and generally being a dick.4
-
Fucking React Scripts, "yOu hAvE mUlTiPlE VErSiOnS oF bAbEL-JeSt, Use nPm Ls Jest To TrACk It Down"
Ok you dumb fucks:
npm ls babel-jest
react-typescript@1.0.0 /Users/chris/Downloads/8sleu4
└─┬ react-scripts@4.0.3
├── babel-jest@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-circus@26.6.0
└─┬ jest-runner@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-config@26.6.3
└── babel-jest@26.6.3
OH LOOK THEY ARE BOTH IDENTICALLY 26.6.3 STOP BUILDING AN OPINIONATED PILE OF GARBAGE IN YOUR COCONUT TREE FUCKED UP FALSE PARADISE YOU CALL SILICON VALLEY!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BUNCH OF GARBAGE!!!! I'D PREFER A TOOL WRITTEN BY KINDERGARTNERS IN CRAYON!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
EVERY
SINGLE
TIME
REACT SCRIPTS
BREAKS2 -
Never though much of MOOC like Udemy and coursera. Boy was i wrong. I never learned cool new subjects like docker, cubernetes and reactjs that fast:)! It even gives me more oppertunities for a new job! Never Give up learning new tech guys :)1
-
For fuck sake Facebook test your shit before you update!
Lesson learned, never update Facebook pods ... or even better never use Faceshit!
1 -
Not sure if this counts as a dumb request but:
Customer- There are too many tasks, we need a 'SELECT ALL' button to complete everything easily
Me- sure that's easy to add
(After addition)
Customer- people are completing the tasks too fast! We need to get rid of the select all !
Ugh5 -
I've never solved any LeetCode problems.
I've never gotten grades above 80% in my academics.
I've never taken an online course in anything.
I've never gotten any certifications other than my Master's degree.
I've never written a CV for a job application.
How the fuck did I manage to survive for 7 years in this industry?13 -
New web devs don't know the struggle of using spacer.gif, nested table layouts, and vibrant "web friendly" colors out of requirement.5
-
Neo: "Why do my eyes hurt?"
Morpheus: "You've never used them before... REST Neo, the answers are coming"
See; it was never SOAP!3 -
Booted up my Windows VM today. I was nearly able to read an email before this happened.
Some things never change...
4 -
Our (new job) dress code policy is "that's what the CEO wears, so you have to wear a shirt too", but not enforced while working remotely.
So, I'll never be in the office.8 -
Opening Excel Sheet in Windows..
Me: Please don't freeze...
Windows : I NEVER FREEZE.
Me : okay.. done updating.. Save
Windows : Excel is not responding
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK......2 -
I have one confession.
I have never ever in 15 years of coding used switch case...
Never liked the syntax.
Am i the onlyone ?17 -
Don't expect requirements that will "never change, guaranteed" to actually "never change, guaranteed"6
-
FINALLY FINISHED THE THING I WAS WORKING ON SINCE LAST MARCH!!! THIS HAS PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH!!! TEARS WERE SHED!!!FEELINGS HURT!!! BUT IT'S DONE!!! I AM NEVER TRANSLATING SOMETHING FROM C++ TO C# AGAIN!!!
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Hands down, my favorite part being a dev the HUGE range of industries I can apply my craft to.
In 10 years, I've bounced from structural engineering, to vision accessibility, to healthcare, to eCommerce. All from the comfort of my developer's keyboard.
While this isn't necessarily unique to the dev role, it's the spice of life that keeps my mind to young.2 -
I always read the "Never Settle" from one+ as "Never Seattle" and wonder what they have against Seattle7
-
I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti
-
Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.
We need time travel asap!2 -
i've never earned more in my life
i've never been more bored in my life
...is this a pattern?
pls halp13 -
When you're deep in thought about a complex problem with your headphones in, and someone comes and stands right in front of you, stares at you and loudly says, "You look like your concentrating really hard!" Causing your train of thought to go "POOF".
1 -
Me: *Chilling a little during a stressful day*
*Receive an email, because thankfully I am logged in and checking emails continuously as I am on job hunt*
*Click open*
Recruiter: I am over running a meeting, will join our connect in 10 minutes.
Me: *Trying to recall when did she schedule the call*
*Quickly check and figure that I shared my availability but never got a confirmation or a meeting invite*
Me: Apologies, but I never received any confirmation. I was waiting for your invite.
Recruiter: What? When did you reschedule?
Me: I never did. I never got a confirmation. Anyway, I am free so can hop on a call.
Recruiter: Oh! Sometimes the confirmation goes into the spam box. Here's the link, please join..
I join and she grills me with difficult questions that I am evidently not prepared.
I try to answer and be honest with everything.
But what the actual fuck! She lied to me and grilled me unnecessarily when she knew I wasn't even prepared.
And this is one of top global companies. Definitely not a great experience.
Stop lying and finding a reason to blame me for failing me because you are an incompetent fuck.13 -
My friend has a saying that helps me keep focused and reality checked:
"Move Forward, Stay Flexible, Expect Resistance."
Say it to yourself often.
To all the devs out there fighting the fight, keep this in mind and push forward. One of the things I love about our industry is the wealth of information we share and the support we get from our mentors and each other.
Some of the jokes aren’t bad either.1 -
Childhood dementia is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
You’re fourteen. You don’t have mental disorders. You used to be sharp. Yet, you’re not really there anymore. But your mother didn’t smoke during pregnancy, and you did nothing to deserve it.
Your personality, memories, everything that makes you “you” just rots away. There is no cure. You’ll never fall in love, never have your first kiss, your first boyfriend, never travel the world, never be a prom queen, never marry, never have kids.
You’re dying, and you’re too far gone to realize it.
9 -
never have I ever:
boomers:
- never have I ever cheated on my husband!
- never have I ever paid my mortgage on time!
- never have I ever left my car uninsured!
zoomers:
- never have I ever found a logically sound justification to continue living
- never have I ever had a social interaction without voices in my head telling me my whole life is a secret plot to betray me spectacularly at the end
- never have I ever coped with the realization that the fabric of my reality itself is nothing but assumptions that hardened into beliefs
- never have I ever felt that my life after I started to take my prescriptions is something but a bland, ironed out shadow of what a functioning member of society should feel4 -
Why do humanity collect things that they will never use? More importantly why do I have many ebook that I will never read?4
-
Just the daily android vs iOS bashing with my gf xD I'll never turn to the light side that is iOS.
1 -
The struggle of telling your coworkers about DevRant vs. the fear of them finding your rants you wrote about them2
-
1.
Never programmed something useful because i have no ideas...
2.
Never used comments in my projects6 -
Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕
A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.
180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)
No salary raise either...
FML4 -
I will give you the money for the server and the domain name (not caring about the conversion rates and transfer charges) and I expect the app delivered in record time. We can talk about payment later.
Note to self: “Never work with people you know.”1 -
How it started:
Need to replace in a lot of SQL files certain stuff...
find . -type f -iname '*.sql' -exec sed -i 's|new|old|g' {} \;
12 hours later that find executed a shell script containing roughly 120 lines of text pipelining.
The jolly of inconsistent workflows.
Different SQL format stylings... Makes fun when single line string replace needs to be extended to multiline RegEx handling. Or matching SQL comment configuration..
Different line endings. MacOS, Windows, Unix, Bukkake.
Different charsets / collations. Anyone wants latin1_swedish_ci... utf8... utf16... :/
Realizing some people even left sensitive data inside the SQL files (e.g. API Tokens..... Yayyyyyyy).
...
Ugh. It's never a one liner. It's never easy. -.-
I hate cleaning up messy shit.3 -
In my life I have never had trouble researching a concept... Until now.. Never had so many fruitless endeavours, its getting frustrating.7
-
My laptop died on Monday. 5 days after it's first full backup in 2 years. I'm almost disappointed it was a power connection issue and not a drive failure3
-
I'm facing a conundrum. I saw a job posting for <Company A> weeks ago, but wasn't really interested and moved on.
Got in touch with a standalone recruitment company today who had an exciting job offer. The recruiter refused to tell me the name of the company until he spoke to me as they directed him to not disclose the name of the company or any details until he has verified the candidate is genuine. To my absolute shock and disbelief it was <Company A>!!!!
So heres the conundrum. External recruiters don't lie, why would they? Clearly this company MUST keep their hiring top secret, and some poor employee didn't get the memo before posting that job publicly. Should I report the <Company A> employee?
I don't want to report them and get them in trouble, but feel I must in order to help the company fix this leak ... before its too late ... and people find out the are hiring!
Thoughts?5 -
What the hell did I miss?
I've been seeing lots of dev communities joking/not joking about replacing C++.
Did we somehow replace all C code in literally every embedded product overnight?10 -
Do y’all horde domains?
(I have more than a few friends who buy domains they never use. I’ve never understood the impulse 😅)6 -
Spent almost two days debugging the hell out of an interrupt handler only to find out that my reference code (official example from the vendor) has some wrong function calls damn it.3
-
Sherlock Holmes' "It's never twins" translated for programmers is "It's never a bug in the language"2
-
What's the longest project you've worked on (in a passage of time type measurement)?. Mine' s a client website, 2 years (so far) in the making. 1 complete redesign, and re-written vast chunks of CSS and code because some of it was shit (2 yrs ago). Now it's super efficient and looking good. Still not finished though. Fortunately they know it's their fault and they have paid up to date, we are at double the original estimate now. I have not moaned at them because they have not moaned at my charges.2
-
quotes of best times
"You would never have a bug if you don't write a code"
"Your code could never crash if you don't run it"
"Your program can never fail if you don't test it"
"Your startup could never be unsuccessful if you don't deploy"4 -
Goals:
-> Write clean code
-> Never trust the code
-> Never use PHP
-> Stop procastinating
-> Stop ranting3 -
I have had to work on a project with a pc104 stack running yocto. I have had this since December last year and the image has always just randomly crashed 🤔. Yesterday I found out why!!
I am able to read the sensor of the cpu temp this has never been over 60/70 degrees C (yes I am English), however after running multiple tests and finally hitting my last wits I made the Kernel output over serial as no msg was shown on crash.
The company we have got the HW from always said this board won't over heat it throttles the cpu blag bla bla... And you guessed it in the mid of nothing but mess was a message "thermal_zone0 critical temp 127 degrees shutting down"
I didn't know if I was happy or about to cry as I didn't know if after working on this project for the last 6months I was back to the drawing boards as I need new HW or my gut at the start of not trusting the Company we are using!
Needless to say I have no idea what Monday will bring, I will keep you all posted as we all do care!
Much love
Jim -
Any good games for Android?
I have a mate 9 and almost never game because I never found any good games.4 -
Sometimes I just hate myself.
I just binge-watched the entirety of Silicon Valley in a one sitting.
Why in the name of Babbage's Analitical Machine can't I be smart enough to figure out when the show is going to be so AWESOME! Should have done that much earlier.
n_regrets = 0;2 -
Personally I like to use very obscene phrases as passwords, just in case some saves it in text.
When they read the "dump file" maybe they will be like well we will not be fucking with this one, that person is just sick.1 -
I think I'm in love.
Can you legally marry a computer program? Because I sure would like to propose to git.
When I read the various "What do you regret not doing sooner? Starting to use GIT" rants, I though meh, it cannot be that amazing. But it is, it goddamn is.
GIT already managed to save me ~three days of headache, and possibly prevented me from degrading my AI. And all that on the first day of usage!
I think my life has become at least 30% easier today^^3 -
New android dev joiners... Never Ever... I am saying.. never ever update the test devices in the office...!!! 😣😣
-
Even I know I'm bullshitting right now. But maybe (like never) I'll optimize this one day (like really really never)
1 -
I feel like a intern when I am a full time dev. Damn it, I need to improve. I don't wanna be a burden.1
-
I think that the most inspiring moment in my life, at least when it comes to programming, was the moment I realized that, that thing standing next to my desk isn't just a black box of black magic. It's a black box of black magic I can harness. That I can use my knowledge and my will to create stuff. Not only for my entertainment, but things that are actually useful and helpful to others.
This thought helped me decide to pursue career in IT. -
Godot Engine - great open source alternative to Unity, powerful with basically anything you need for game dev and with great community,
VS Community and VS Code for more serious things, because they're pretty pretty powerful and extendable.
Oh and Krita is kinda cool, but I'm not much of an art guy -
I felt inspired when I found out about Minecraft mods when I was in elementary school. I thought they looked so cool. I then went and actually bought a Java reference book but I never made any mods. Because Counter Strike came into my life and well I wasn't too proud of myself. But now I've quit CS:GO and I'm now committed to learning programing and I love it!1
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Write bad code, dont comment, do all these, if you want....
But never never never us
Windows as your server operating system4 -
So many open tickets and they keep becoming more and more. In the end they will never be worked on, as there's always smth more important, although they are reprioritized on fixed schedules. They will eventually be discarded because they were forgotten and the ticket was already done, just by a ticket with similar naming or similar intent.
How would you solve this? Can this be solved?2 -
Best experience: My supervisor was upset to see me leave my internship this summer because I had become more competent with the program I was working with than anyone else in the company
Worst: It took 5 weeks of sitting and doing nothing to get to that point because the program was so broken and the creators of the program failed to allow any access or backdoor to make any changes, so we had to wait for them to get back to us about any and every problem. Even worse, they were based in Germany and never got back to us at a reasonable time...3 -
Fuck the traffic jam I'm dealing with every damn day since two fucking months. It takes 1,5 fucking hours to geht the fuck home from work. I'm done with public transportation. I'm gonna take my shitty bike out even if the fucking temperatures are lower than the standards of the fucking people who misplanned this goddamn street reconstruction.4
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I just found out that "enums" have been introduced in PHP only with v8.1 (2021).
Wtf...
Now using enums in VB6 (1998) seems magic.12 -
So... I just got to the next fase where I'm being asked to do a technical test. What they ask is for me to develop an Android App with 4 different tabs:
- First tab I need to receive data from a github url, parse it and show it on a recyclerview, save it on a database, and be able to search it.
- Second tab has to show 50 elements in a recyclerview, with a header that has to fill the entire screen and when the user scrolls down, the image has to fix to the top of the screen, and never go back when you scroll up.
and two more exercises with variations but almost same difficulty.
..... to deliver at 10 a.m at the 26th of October.
......It was 07:00 p.m when I got the email
FUCK MY LIFE -
Confession:
I've been working as C# programmer for an entire year, and I wrote desktop app as well as win services, but when it comes to practice (cause I moved to PHP about 7 months ago) on Codewars I go completely wrong, and it's even worst on Hackerrank.
Have to admit, feel so dumb and lost2 -
Have this problem which already took me well over a day to figure out.
Thinking: "I might try SO, maybe I'll get an answer there.".
*Posts question with nice explanation and code example.*
Literally 5 mins later: question is marked as duplicate of a super generic question, which does not answer mine.1 -
Realizing that C# is far more easier to read than Java - I'll never take a job for that shithole/shithouse language in the industry (lmfao). I barely touch either...
How much shit am I gonna get from people for this? Larry Ellison's fanboys are gonna crucify me. I'm suicidal anyway lol5 -
Every time I follow "# Simple step to" tutorial.
Every time an error occurs and I feel ssso fukin dumb, dmn -
Asked teacher about participating at local programing olympiad. Other classmates who are good at it said its not worth it cuz its too hard, but I still have hope 😓2
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Never apply for a job that has been posted in stackoverflow.
(Oh! And never work in stackoverflow, too!)1 -
I somehow like it when some of our sales or project guys have to ask the customer what we sold 'em.
I will never understand why they humiliate themselves that much instead of getting their shit straight at least for the next proposal. -
never code, never test anything, never even talk to clients. I just wanna open a software company, have Devs, designers, business people who do all the work so that i can get a lot of money5
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How to tell if someone had never developed before and never looked at Linux before: I'm not familiar with symlinks.1
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I'm an idiot, almost
I needed a tablet for uni but I also wanted it to be quite powerful and with an OS I could actually get things done with (this precluded android and iOS)
I also am quite pricacy concerned but I never did much to prevent it
I ended up buying a surface pro, for its weight and power
joined with a mac at home and a google nexus in my hands... my privacy is fucked :)1 -
I start projects by researching the latest technologies and architectures and learning them, and usually decide to start over with something even newer pretty soon after. No wonder I never finish anything 😋
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Google is like the parent or teacher who is never happy with your work. I've never seen something so unattainable in a world where non-technical clients rely on CMSes, theme templating, server-side page rendering, and external scripting as Google's mobile PageSpeed recommendations. Especially under the Lighthouse audit in Chrome Inspector. Unless I go back to pre-2001 web development methods, and never have external scripting, and make every page have its own CSS file with only critical path CSS for each page, I will never get all the high scores I'm expected to have to rank well for mobile. When and how will Google get called out on this B.S.?9
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Never assume.. coding, how something works, someone knowledge on something, etc. never assume anything it will come back to bite you down the road.
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The moment when you scratch your mousepad or take off your keyboard keys, and you find out how horrible your living conditions are...
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Make us a webshop, they said. But we'll handle everything from the checkout and after ourselves, they said.
Help us, they said. We can't get the grips on checkout and thereafter, they said.
This is going to be a long-lasting project.1 -
When you finally get to sign a project off as finished, after the client has changed the goal posts 50+ times.
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I surround myself with people smarter than me and if I feel I stopped progressing, I change my job/project/field.1
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The proprietary CMS of the web agency where I'm currently working. It uses also a proprietary PHP framework.
Don't even know what is worst -
None::<()>
I hope as never (`!`) gets stabilized in Rust, they come up with a clever heuristic to set it as the default value of generic parameters that cannot be deduced because the variants using them are never constructed. -
Even when the code is right, it's wrong. Like when you are fixing bugs:
"damn, this variable doesn't look like it belongs in this part of the code", but when you look further into it you see that is correct and you continue with the bug and have no idea what the next step should be.1 -
Every first of a month is our most intense day because we have the most data throughput then due to lazy people we get data from. And boy will it be even more intense when something broke because we were forced to deploy a new feature the day before...
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You can infer how long ago a developer started in the industry by whether or not the use the term “parm.”13
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"[...] Good Programming is a few brief moments of sublime elegance embedded in months of niggling, exacting, precise trivialities. [...]"
❤️
https://hackernoon.com/how-to-be-an... -
It just never works when you try to set up self hostet php apps never theyre all shit they never print any useful errors they just randomly pass wrong args they use fucking ioncube fuck everything6
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I personallbery don't like OP superpowers like perfect coding or time-bending. They have to be either not OP or über OP. So here's an idea. Having control over things you understand. Depending on how much you know you're either just a normie or the most powerful being on the planet. And you still experience the joy of learning new things. AND you're getting more powerful because of it.
You can be exactly the dev you want to be.1 -
Docker never worked for me on windows
the service never starts
tried version 3 and 4 on 2 different machines11 -
Dear provider, COULD YOU PLEASE SENT ME YOUR DSL INSTALLATION CODE BEFORE YOU TURN A COMPANYS INTERNET DOWN??? SRSLY this is the biggest bs. No phone no mail since 8am, new hardware won't work without this fkking code.
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Backend developers, your thoughts on this?
"Why you should never use MongoDB"
http://sarahmei.com/blog/2013/...3 -
power of coffee! never dissatisfies!!! It's like healers for developers as in overwatch2 stating solemnly"Heroes never die"!!!
2 -
Hi everyone, good to be back (my phone died, backup one wasn't able to run devRant). I wonder what I missed. Probably a lot considering how many amazing stories and discussions appear here daily.
But I digress. So I wanted to ask if anyone is planning on going to HackYeah hackathon in Krakow, Poland? Just curious if I should look out for any familiar orange stickers.
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