This shit is fascinating, especially reading about the variations in function of the various brodmann areas:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

My favorite schizo-interpretation of this is "your head is full of bees."

i.e. brodmann area 10, which is thought to be responsible for memory recall strategies (basically an adaptive memory allocator and heap) has about 250 million neurons in a pinprick of a volume.

A bee has about 1 million neurons.

In otherwords: the part of your brain that decides how memory is managed has only the equivalent brainpower of 250 bees, lol.

Obviously a simplification-to-the-level-of-absurdity but it's fun to intentionally interpret something to the level of distortion.

How to ensure only adults can see content, thats right, add opening hours 😄

how to be a shitty client:
- have a legacy database where column names are misspelled and everything is nullable
- hire external help which instead of helping break the ui (bonus points for breaking the api too)
- demand a very much custom auth logic but decide to use aws cognito for shits and giggles
- demand 1hr daily meetings
- demand biometric auth with 0 knowledge of how biometric auth works (the previous devs just had a face id prompt which does nothing and retrieved email and password saved on the device???)
- message me at 2am because you don't understand how timezones work + demand a build while you're at it
- call me a "heretical pagan" because i took a day off on a holiday you don't celebrate (???)

i could go on but i think this is enough

A job description that looks like it was written by actual developers

Timezones.

I am going to create a define in my code:
#define BIT_CH CHAR_BIT

Then do search replace of CHAR_BIT to "update" the code. Probably need to wait for a refactor. No idea if CHAR_BIT is even used in our code base. I just want to be a BIT_CH.

I was sitting here thinking what a valid use for an object called BitCh or BitChar. Still trying to come up with some valid reason to create such an object.

And people say programming as an art is dead.

New developers(5-6 years experience) these days are so pathetic. They dont have any sense of code review. All they want is to put their opinion out without giving any thought.

I had a PR for review today which contains mock specification to match a regular expression and return the corresponding response

The regular expression I put was

104000(02|06|20|48)

Now, this guy comes and puts a comment that we could "simplify" as 104000\d{2}

I replied, the ending digits are not contiguous. The specific pair of digits have to match for these mocks.

Then this guy replied, then we could simplify as 104(0{4}(2|6)l0{3}(20|48)).

I said, I cannot understand how that is simplification. Why do we need such a complex regex to match something very straight forward.

And the guy replied, we should be writing proper regexes, otherwise we could just specify everything explicitly.

I was like WTF man. You try deciphering this next week without taking at least a minute to know which values are matched.

Anyhow, another senior person approved my PR, and I merged it.

i haven't even updated to win11, so why tf does Microsoft think i want copilot on my task bar

Priorities.

I'm preparing a major deployment & what do I see?

SOMEONE MANUALLY EDITED PROD AGAIN

IMO they deserve to be hit on their hands with a stick every time they even think of fucking with it.

Amazing! My joke functionality worked and the server delivered it's content successfully to the client. The joke: malloc is wrapped to give that message and retry IMMEDIATELY. Expectation is that the computer that was already in panic mode gets even fucked up more because it's out of memory. My malloc is literally while((ptr=malloc()} == NULL) { show_warning()
;malloc();}. Imagine if it didn't give that warning, I would've never known that a malloc failed. Who checks their freaking malloc result? You should, but i do not see much people doing it.

The previous crash on screen is what happens if you're doing a get instead of a post. I just declare my server app indestructible btw. Ffs!

don't hack hungry, guys

Manager: You want a promotion? To senior? Ha. Well, build this web app from scratch, quickly, while still doing all your other duties, and maybe someone will notice and maybe they’ll think about giving you a promotion! It’ll give you great visibility within the company.

Your first project is adding SSO using this third party. It should take you a week.

Third party implementation details: extremely verbose, and assumes that you know how it works already and have most of it set up. 👌🏻

Alternative: missing half the details, and vastly different implementation from the above

Alternative: missing 80%; a patch for an unknown version of some other implementation, also vastly different.

FFS.
Okay, I roll my own auth, but need creds and a remote account added with the redirects and such, and ask security. “I’m building a new rails app and need to set up an SSO integration to allow employees to log in. I need <details> from <service>.” etc. easy request; what could go wrong?

Security: what’s a SSO integration do you need to log in maybe you don’t remember your email I can help you with that but what’s an integration what’s a client do you mean a merchant why do merchants need this

Security: oh are you talking about an integration I got confused because you said not SSO earlier let me do that for you I’ve never done it before hang on is this a web app

Security: okay I made the SSO app here you go let me share it hang on <sends …SSL certificate authority?>

Boss: so what’s taking so long? You should be about done now that you’ve had a day and a half to work on this.

Abajdgakshdg.

Fucking room temperature IQ “enterprise security admin.”
Fucking overworked.
Fucking overstressed.

I threw my work laptop across the room and stepped on it on my way out the door.
Fuck this shit.

ooooh, this gon be god

Git Blame before git was invented:

Update to my "I broke prod" rant:

- I managed to unfuck it on the same evening.
- Worked fine for one day
- Crashed today morning
- Can't fix it because I had surgery yesterday and am on sick leave currently
=> Probably gonna result in me VPNing into the comp network and RDPing into the prod instance to analyse the failure

Yep, ladies and gents, more open heart surgery on the menu!

Just had the realization that the reason why the internet is so toxic isn't really because of anonymity

It's because if you're a massive asshole to someone, that person can't punch you in the face

I mean this for real, and it's kinda counter intuitive, but the underlying threat of violence is what keeps society civil and polite

Making python 2x faster by replacing enums with literal values.

Pros, it's faster, cons, it's unreadable.

God I miss compiled languages. At least optimizing them requires intelligent problem solving.

It's a text parser state machine transition so it's a code hot spot, so this kind of optimization is worthwhile. But it's kinda annoying.

Next is get rid of any semblance of readability and replace the match with an array index...

Things that shouldn't have needed to be said:
Don't give an LLM sudo and pipe all it's output to bash...
https://theregister.com/AMP/2024/...

Looks like I can finally post images

Potential client once asked for a clone of Amazon, for $5000, in one month. I did not take the project.

ahem…

potential new client, immediately says:

"we have to get this website to number 1 on google as fast as possible!!!!!"

god why is it always the same

i'm tempted to ask, "great, no problem, do you have thousands to spend?"

i already know what the answer is

🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK

second day I can't configure the stupid pass for mysql root...

I got in, executing maybe 3 diff queries and all seems good, but when I try to use it, nope, is not that

I had to be done already w/ the assignment and here I am still configuring...

Don't you just love it when an official Docker image suddenly switches from one base image to another, and they automatically update all existing tags? Oh you've had it locked to v1.2.3, guess what, v1.2.3 now behaves slightly differently because it's been compiled with OpenSSL 3. Yeah, we updated a legacy version of the software just to recompile it with the latest version of OpenSSL, even though the previous version of OpenSSL is still receiving security fixes.

I don't think it's the image maintainers or Docker's fault though. Docker images are expected to be self-contained, and updating the base image is necessary to get the latest security fixes. They had two options: to keep the old base image which has many outdated and vulnerable libraries, or to update the base image and recompile it with OpenSSL 3.

What really bothers me about the whole thing is that this is the exact fucking problem containers were supposed to solve. But even with all the work that goes into developing and maintaining container images, it still isn't possible to do anything about the fact that the entire Linux ecosystem gives exactly zero fucks about backwards compatibility or the ability to run legacy software.

WHO THE FUCK MAKES AN EXCHANGE RATE A STRING?!!!

People in SO be like: "I don't understand why I'm not getting any answers. All I want to do is to twist this ORM to do something it doesn't support and I haven't even explained the nature of the models and nested relationships in the question"

I accidentally posted a Photoshopped image of my boss in her teams channel. I deleted it immediately, but I believe she saw it briefly. She never mentioned it, but things have been awkward ever since.

If I unplug a charger then my laptop immediately turns off

if I run a hw diag [boot into diag mode], it says I have a healthy battery, but a faulty ssd

<wat.png>

Xmas party, held at an external location. After some drinks, a co-worker whom I was friends with started flirting up one of the waitresses. Now, he was tall, well-trained, and quite attractive for women. It was just that he also was married and had a child.

I quietly sought out that waitress and told her about that, asking her to turn him down because nothing good would come out of that. She appreciated it and stayed out of his way.

Felt kind of back-stabbing him, but at the same time, also saving his ass from himself.