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AboutI do indeed have a computer.
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SkillsJava, js, c++
Joined devRant on 4/23/2018
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User: oh! An error message.
Message : Problem XY has occurred. Do YX to fix the problem.
User: Ok I try everything except what it says. ...
Ok that didn't work. I ask the IT
IT: Have you tried what it says?
User: no I didn't know ...
IT:ok do it.
User: 0.o It worked! why do we pay you if it is so easy?
Every goddamn time 🤦🏻♂️3 -
So, there's this big company in Poland with its name starting with C and having CEO famous for saying that every software developer can be replaced with a finite number of college students.
They recently lost a HUGE government contract and so stories of people working there came to light. My two personal favourites:
1. A tester who has been fired for finding too many bugs and mistakes in their product. He was also told that bugs are to be found by clients on production, not in-house.
2. A programmer who was yelled at by his team leader for "wasting time" on code reviews instead of typing the code. He was also told he hadn't been hired to criticise other people code.
God, I'm so grateful I don't work there.20 -
Boss: Hey, remember that app you made that was supposed to be purely for demonstration purposes?
Me: The one that we hard coded to get done in a week? Yea, why?
Boss: Here are some changes we need done for the next meeting.
Me:...1 -
Nice job there, YouTube. I always wanted to watch all the videos in a playlist stacked on top of one another with one click.3
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Conversation today...
Guy: "Hey I need a real quick script to pull some values out of an XML document...is that possible?"
Me: "Uh...yeah that's pretty simple if that's all it has to do."
Guy: "Ok excellent I'll send you some files and documentation."
Me: "Ok so is this like a one time use thing or do you need to parse multiple of these?"
Guy: "Actually it needs to run all the time, on this specific PC, watch directories for any files that are added, then generate a XLSX files of the values, and also log information to a database. Etc"
Me: "Oh that adds quite a bit of complexity from what you originally said. It's going to take more time."
Guy: "But you said it was easy."
Well fuck you...12 -
Why do people version their code like they're learning to count? 3.0.0, 3.0.1, ..., 3.0.9, 3.1.0, 3.1.1, ...
And then I'm sitting there with 50+ websites, wondering if updating a plugin from 3.6.5 to 3.6.6 will patch my bugs, or completely break everything because of syntax changes11 -
INTERVIEW. It tells everything about the company. I recently applied for a "big" company for the position of ML Engineer. The Job description was like "someone with good knowledge of visual recognition, deep learning, advanced ML stuff, etc." I thought great, I might be a good fit. A guy called me the next day. Introduced himself as a manager of the Data Science team with 8+ years of experience. Started the talk saying "it is just an informal intro". But things escalated very quickly. Started shooting Data Science questions. He was asking questions in a very bookish way. Tells me to recite formulas (like big formulas). When I explained to him a concept, he was not understanding anything. Wanted a very bookish answer. I quickly realized I know more about ML stuff than him (not a big deal) and he is arrogant as fuck (not accepting my answers). Plus, he has no knowledge about Deep Learning. At the very end, he tells me "man, you need to clear up your fundamentals". WTH??? My fundamentals. Okay, I am not Einstein or Hinton, but I know I was answering things correctly. I have read books and research papers and blogs and all. When I don't know about things, I tell straight away. I don't cook answers. So the "interview" ended. I searched that man on LinkedIn. Got to know he teaches college students Data Science and ML. For a fee of 50,000 INR. It's a big amount!! Considering the things he teaches. You can find the same stuff (with far higher quality) free of cost (on Coursera, Udacity, YouTube, free books, what not). He is a cheater. He is making fool of college students. That is why I sometimes hate "experience". 8+ years of exp and he is such an a**hole!! BTW, I thanked God for saving me from that company. Can't imagine such an arrogant boss.
TLDR: Be vigilant during interviews. It tells a lot about the company.4 -
Earlier today, after helping a team mate with an issue, she ask:
"How come you already know the issue even though that's not your code?"3 -
Recently met this girl and she told me that she had gone on a date with another Software Engineer recently.
I asked her why it didn't work out..
She told that he started every single sentence with "I am going to assume that you know nothing about this" and went on to explain the most boring shit while assuming that she was a dumbass.
To the poor Software Engineer, you missed out on a great gal.2 -
New dev guy in office, Does zero research when stuck in somewhere while doing a task. Goes around asking the team if they had done that before. Talks on the phone for like 10-15 mins with god knows who when he has a technical problem.
Doesn't even bother to do a simple debug before complaining about an exception in a service to the dev who wrote it (if he knows the dev who wrote it)
Interestingly, he marks the tasks he does in a google sheet in red, yellow and green rows that's shared with our tech lead.
Not that he bugs me or anything, but just thought i should share this here.6 -
Last year I built the platform 'Tindex'. It was an index of Tinder profiles so people could search by name, gender and age.
We scraped the Tinder profiles through a Tinder API which was discontinued not long ago, but weird enough it was still intact and one of my friends who was also working on it found out how to get api keys (somewhere in network tab at Tinder Online).
Except name, gender and age we also got 3 distances so we could calculate each users' location, then save the location each 15 minutes and put the coordinates on a map so users of Tindex could easily see the current location of a specific Tinder user.
Fun note: we also got the Spotify data of each Tinder user, so we could actually know on which time and which location a user listened to a specific Spotify track.
Later on we started building it out: A chatbot which connected to Tinder so Tindex users could automatically send a pick up line to their new matches (Was kinda buggy, sometimes it sent 3 pick up lines at ones).
Right when we started building a revenue model we stopped the entire project because a friend of ours had found out that we basically violated almost all terms.
Was a great project, learned a lot from it and actually had me thinking twice or more about online dating platforms.
Below an image of the user overview design I prototyped. The data is mock-data.51 -
When the new guy on the team uses click bait titles on his PRs... that’s when you realise this guys going to go far.12
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Them: We really need you to fill out this sheet today with estimated release dates.
Me: I really need you to respond to any of the emails I’ve sent over the past week, asking questions about what these tickets mean.2 -
Ah the wonders of working with non-technical people. 😤
I had a logistical problem. The SSD on my laptop crashed.
Me: No biggie just request new one.
Them: Sorry we don't have any on stock.
Me:Okey then give me a new laptop.
Them:Ok fine here you go.
Me:I specifically required 16 GB of RAM.
Them: ok here is an extra 8gb
Me: I need DDR 4 not DDR3
Them: don't have any. We will restock shortly.
A couple a days later a colleague requested 8gb DDR3 and got DDR 4.
The fuck is wrong with people. Can you not read?🤔🙄1 -
My government is FUCKING STUPIDLY JOKING. I can't confirm this but what i heard from friend of mine who works on that place. The server is turned off after work hours. And yes Holiday included. What the fuck? Are they even know the basics?
And yet today is not even a holiday. And i got this "Server Hangup" unhelpful Message.
This site is supposed to be the place to handle Online Taxation. And the deadline to report my company's earning is just tommorow, yet we can't do anything if the website IS NOT FUCKING ON!!!! I DON'T WANT TO PAY FINE CHARGES BECAUSE LATE REPORT SUBMISSION!!!! THIS IS GOVERNMENT FAULT NOT MINE!19 -
*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*
Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?
Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine
Me: But how does it work?
Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...
Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?
*Silence*
Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.7 -
Here's what I saw today
To add space between two rows of images.
<div>
//A row of images
</div>
<h1 style="color:white">a</h1>
<div>
//A row of images
</div>11 -
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
JavaScript was a joke. No seriously! - I once got laughed out of the room for suggesting we try use it for more than disabling a button - (I wanted to check out the new XHR request thingy [read AJAX]).
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!22 -
Customer requested the implementation of a "Master PIN" Code for accessing their appliances, to be used by field technicians when the users forgot their PIN.
Actually they could also read or reset it via USB using the config utility, but then again it's much more convenient not having to carry a laptop all the time...
Our only contact person at that company - the guy we got all the requirements from, let's call him Mr. L - wouldn't talk only positive about the company and managers, but we never worried as the project was making good progress.
In the final phase of the project, Mr. L was often hard to reach, always seemed to be busy even when we just needed a prototype approved to start production.
He always claimed to be waiting for approval from his supervisors and engineers, still discussing minor things with them.
When he left the company about three months later, it turned out he was pretty much the only person knowing about the details of the project, and his successor would start asking us very basic questions about the appliance,
wondering why we had implemented certain things the way they were.
(Well, how about we implemented everything just as requested by a former co-worker of yours?!)
Somewhere in the preliminary specs previously exchanged with Mr. L, there is even a hint of a "Master PIN", but the value is never specified anywhere on paper.
Today, we are not sure if anyone except for him even knew about it.
Maybe we should ask them whether they are now selling a product that has a 4-digit backdoor PIN nobody at the company is aware of?
Obviously, it is the birth year of Mr. L.2 -
"The customer reports that port 21 is closed on our FTP site. They said that port 443 is open, and wonder if they can use that instead."
"They are entering the wrong server name. Our FTP server is ONLY an FTP server. Port 443 is not open on our FTP server.
Please verify that they are entering `ftp.xxxxxx.com`
Our FTP site supports FTP/SSL if they are concerned about security."
"Customer responds that they would rather use port 443 to send files."
"I'm sure they would. I'd also like to enter our building on the west side when the temperature is below 10º, but there are no doors on the west side, so that's not going to happen, is it?"2 -
I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets3
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I designed a (rough) wireframe in Balsamiq and showed it my manager for early feedback.
He was like - I really like it, but can we have some colours in it? It's more of a monochrome right now. Just black & white. FML11 -
My boss just designed this and asked me to implement it, without asking for any input.
I was a UX designer at my previous job. This makes me want to cry.19