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Joined devRant on 10/9/2016
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I think lot less developers would smoke if they could replaced the warnings on cigarettes with errors.2
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GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.
From a sad true story.8 -
Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.52 -
Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.
"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.14 -
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my latest employee, Dave the Duck! Dave is the new head of debugging and took the job to support his out-of-hand caffeine addiction and 72 children (of which paternity tests are still being done on 10). Dave is also wanted in 4 countries as the leader of the popular gang, known as the Dangerous Ducks. Please do no feed Dave, as he is on a strict diet. #DaveTheDuck #ProgrammersTools #ImNotThatCrazy10
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An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol.1
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Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.
They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.
I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.12 -
I was so mad at work today that I started singing to "Icona Pop - I love it" during lunch but altered the lyrics to match how I felt... Just sing along when your day is as bad as mine:
"I crashed my project into a wall, I watched, I let it burn" ... "I don't care, I love it"
"I threw this shit into a file and pushed it up to GIT" ... "I don't care, I love it"
"I got this feeling on the summer day when I'm gone" ... "I don't care, I love it" -
"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"
I left the building at that exact moment.41 -
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┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
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