Java Joke......

Heaviest Objects In The Universe

So this guy passed large objects as function arguments directly instead of referencing. What a jackass. So the program was slow as fuck AND taking up too much memory.

So yeah, I'm basically ranting about myself.

*happily tapping along on my projects while commuting*

Some random kid appears, overly interested in what I'm writing, so I let him look.

Then he goes *snort* do you know why Java threw c out?

No.

*giggles* because c told Java to stop treating women like and objects.

Well, treating them like primitives is no good either.

*kid walks away*
Then I hear: mom. That man ruined my joke, he said treating women like primitives is no good.

This dev world is still so damn fucking sexist, it's driving me nuts.

"it's so cool seing a GIRL doing this stuff"
"wow you're so tech savy for a GIRL"
"you're too CUTE to be a developer"
"how does it feel to be a GIRL in dev"

Just treat us like fucking human beings for once instead of pretty, empty objects.

She: "I am not getting anything out of these classes!!"

Me: "Try making some Objects first"

*Awkward silence*

Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.

C gets all the chicks and Java doesn't? Because C doesn't treat them like objects.

But I think C could at least give Java some pointers

wife: why don't you react to things I say (she means why don't I go crazy when she says crazy shit)
me in my head: after 7 years in IT I have learned not to react when people above you say crazy shit.

Classes are classist.

Objects are objectifying.

Race conditions are racist.

Foreign keys are xenophobic.

Functions are ableist.

Thin clients are weightist.

Bitmasks perpetuate heteronormativity.

Code beautifiers promote unrealistic beauty expectations.

Test-driven development is victim blaming.

Forced commit pushes are rape.

Motherboards perpetuate gender roles.

And don't get me started on white space.

Damn right :3

So, when counting physical objects, my 4 year old daughter keeps starting at "zero." 🤓

It's the weirdest thing, and I've even tried to discourage it. But, hey, she uses it correctly...so, I'll just roll with it.

I just spent an hour debugging as to why a fucking json_decode STILL PRODUCED OBJECTS.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh right, I need to set a second parameter as true.

😐

Java: Ok, any ideas on how to make women more interested in us ?
.
.
.
C++: Make more exceptions ?
Python: Redefine our methods ?
C: Stop treating them like objects ?
.
.
.
*Java furious at C*
.
.
.
*Java throws C out of the building*

If I had a dev superpower it would be the ability to generate 3D printed objects at will so I could have more cool shit on my desktop.

Laravel is the worst framework ever.

Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?

It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.

The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.

Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!

Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?

One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.

And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.

Oh well, it happens

When you create a bunch of objects in Java and it crashes because you're used to the memory usage of C's structs.

I don't see women as objects.
I consider each to be in a class of her own

I hate it when people say they want to "GET a new girlfriend"...
Shouldn't it be "FIND a new girlfriend"?
I mean you can't just go into the supermarket and get some butter, milk and a new girlfriend. You can't buy them. By saying that, you seem to me as if you're treating women as objects. I know it's technically possible to buy a girlfriend, but that's prostitution.
I think that "GET a new girlfriend" just doesn't sound right...

Your opinions?

I'M SO PROUD, I WROTE A FULLY-FUNCTIONAL JSON PARSER!

I used some data from the devRant API to test it :D
(There's a lot of useful tests in the devRant API like empty arrays, mixed arrays and objects, and nested objects)

Here's the devRant feed with one rant, parsed by Lua!

You can see the type of data (automatically parsed) before the name of the data, and you can see nested data represented by indentation.

The whole thing is about 200 lines of code, and as far as I can tell, is fully-featured.

"Imagine everyone is an object. You are an object, you are an object, you are an object." My lecturer said while pointing to random students in the class. Oh how I wanted to quip "So you think girls are just objects?" 😂

"Why does the search take so long?" maybe because it searches through2 dbs with 20 tables with 5.000.000 objects on an 6 year old server with hdds and apparently there is no budget for a new server, but there is money for an 40.000€ art piece.

Weekend goals be like...
Building custom, generic CSV utility with support for nested objects!

If you need to learn/teach object orientation, these are my approaches (I hate that classic "car" example):

1) Keep in mind games like Warcraft, Starcraft, Civilization, Age of Empires (yes, I am old school). They are a good example of having classes to use, instantiating objects (creatures) and putting them to work together. As in a real system.

2) Think of your program as an office that has a job to do, or a factory that has something to deliver. Classes are the roles/jobs and objects are the workers/employees. They don't need to be complex, but their purpose must be really (really, really) well defined. Just like in a real office / factory.

3) Even better (or crazier), see your classes and objects as real beings, digital creatures in a abstract world, and yourself as a kind of god, who creates species (define classes) with wisdom. Give life when it is the time for them to come into the world (instantiate object) and kill them when they are done with their mission (dispose an object). Give them behavior, logic, conditions to work with, situations where they take action, and when they don't. Make them kinda "smart". Build them able to make decisions and take actions based on conditions. Give them life. Think on your program as an ecossystem. There must be balance, connection, species must be well defined and creatures must work together to achieve a common objective. Don't just throw code and pray for it to run. Plan it.

-----

When I talk about my classes like they are real beings, and programs as mini-worlds, some people say I am crazy, some others say that's passion.

It is both! @__@

Leave me with movable objects and I will build

I fucking hate HTML forms! Especially representing bloody nested objects within them!

Fighting with html forms has taken at least 80% of my time over the past three features. Why can't I just do this via API? It would be soo much freaking simpler! ugh.

But today.
Today is not going to be a good day.
I not only get to expand a complicated vanilla form with with one nested object today, I get to expand it to include three nested objects. Normally this wouldn't be a problem because it's just moving elements around, but two of those nested objects need to be broken up and combined into three+ segments each. I have no idea how to even approach this.

ugh.

I think we were one of the tens of companies to actually pay for one of Apple's most obscure products.

Google - I was going to type 'escaping # in json objects' but I am genuinely interested in what wisdom this Internet doohickie thang has on escaping polygamy...

Started my new internship for the summer.

"Hey, our client's prestashop is getting really slow, could you please do something about it ?"
I go poke around to see what i can do, and after some research i see the problem. The search bar was taking 20-60s to load what was sometimes 16 objects.

The client was using a prestashop with the default search engine. 175000 products were registered. NO WONDER IT'S FUCKIN SLOW.

So on my first day of internship i entirely re-coded prestashop's product search function. I feel like this is not internship level stuff.

I deal with rejection every day...

...from failed Promise objects.

IT'S ALMOST 2021 AND I STILL HAVE TO FUCK WITH WSCRIPT OBJECTS FOR AN INTERNET EXPLORER WEB APP WHY? 😡

Me : "hey front end dev, here is an API returing a list of objects, put them in a table"

*Some hours later

Front end : 'Done !"

Me :" Where are the totals?"

front end : 'Api doesn't give me totals"

me : "Calculate them. Just do a sum"

front end : 'I don't know how".

Yeah, "front end" apprently means only html css.... FML

Just spent hours, debugging why a system is creating two objects in the database when trying to create one.

Turns out it is Chrome re-sending a POST request.

Really.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. Google.

I know it's not done yet but OOOOOH boy I'm proud already.

Writing a JSON parser in Lua and MMMM it can parse arrays! It converts to valid Lua types, respects the different quotation marks, works with nested objects, and even is fault-tolerant to a degree (ignoring most invalid syntax)

Here's the JSON array I wrote to test, the call to my function, and another call to another function I wrote to pretty print the result. You can see the types are correctly parsed, and the indentation shows the nested structure! (You can see the auto-key re-start at 1)

Very proud. Just gotta make it work for key/value objects (curly bracket bois) and I'm golden! (Easier said than done. Also it's 3am so fuck, dude)

PROCEDURAL PROGRAMMING
You write a list of instructions. The machine reads this list and runs your commands.

OOP PROGRAMMING
Quite similar to procedural programming but you group your functions via objects.

RANDOM PROGRAMMING
Learned of this new paradigm quite recently working with Blue Prism, which is essentially the program doing whatever it wants from crashing, freezing, returning wrong results, sometimes working properly, with no reason whatsoever other than the sheer malice of those beasts of burden who designed it in the first place. Mark my words, BP devs, you will be held accountable for your crimes against God and humanity.

"I don't see women as objects, each woman is in a class of their own! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

- People who have no fucking clue how OOP works

Objects are instantiations of classes, you poor, retarded bastards. You saw those two words while skimming your 1st year college textbook, made this joke, promptly changed to some useless English degree because you cried after your "hello world" program didn't run, and never looked back to see the damage you had done.

I know the joke is the word play but word play word play puns are retarded anyways. Everything about this pun is awful.

Less rant, more mildly interesting Java trivia.

Integer i0 = 3; Integer i1 = 3;
Integer i2 = 300; Integer i3 = 300;

i0 == i1 is true as expected
i2 == i3 is actually false

Java caches -128 to 127 Integer objects for faster perf so when you're inside that range, the objects are indeed the same, but because == checks object equality, the Integer outside of the range is not cached and had to be initialized, so i2 and i3 are two different objects.

You can totally break some tests this way :)

Applies for Android Internship

Supervisor: Work with this Image Processing Library to "RECOGNIZE" objects from the phones camera.

Me: Wuuuuuh....?

Supervisor: Also it should be in real time and can't use internet.

Me: But that's impossible....

Supervisor: Align your goals with the company's goal. Nothing is impossible......(gets all motivational)

Me: 😩🔫

Im starting to think about changing my language from C to java because C dont have object classes and all that great things and dont try to tell me to use C++ i hate it it fucking commands is just terrible cout >> "gjzjxg" i preferred printf and i tried C# but no i dont want it but i like java so well yeah if there were a way to use C stuff and C++ objects and classes this will be perfect but really i like C a lot and will use it for projects and will be my primary language still but Java for hard projects that require objects what do you think guys ?

Stacktraces with zero useful information.
Two full days of breakpoint stepping and framework spelunking.
"bifurcated" object creation.
Delegatd everything.
Inheritence hell fucking everywhere.
Models with both `has_one :x` AND `has_many :x`!?
Automatically-created objects when reading from magic virtual columns!?

What the fuck is this fucking four-dimensional spaghetti monstrosity and just how many angel puppies did I torture and maim in a previous life to deserve this nightmare?

And all of this to fix 12 fucking specs, out of the 1,780 this fucking ticket requires me to break and fix. FML

Positive internship update :)
I have asked the store department chief if I can stop working with heavy objects.
He said "of course".

I will just do light tasks. I am fine with that :)

Today is going to be a long ass day :(
best way to start a saturday..

Receiving objects: 13% (866/6600), 740.01 KiB | 5.00 KiB/s

sometimes i think writing something new would be quicker then downloading it.

Eligible java objects for garbage collection

Huh. ES6's variable destructuting on objects is actually pretty cool.

var {foo, bar, baz} = obj

Is functionally equivalent to this:
var foo = obj.foo
var bar = obj.bar
var baz = obj.baz

I like it! Makes things simpler.

Wow i must have been brain dead when i wrote this code. Needed to exclude certain elements from response for the the list of objects.

for (obj : objects) {
If (obj.skipFromResponse()) {
break
}
add obj to response
}

I used break instead of continue at the if condition which meant it would break out of the loop at the first instance of condition being met.

This went through qa and has been in production for 4 weeks so how did this not break before. Well little did i know the list of objects was sorted and all the test data, qa data and everything so far in production coincidentally only had the last element with matching condition. This meant it returned everything correctly so far.

Today was the first time there was a situation where this caused incorrect output. Luckily as soon as I heard the description of the issue I remembered to check the merged PR and hung my head in shame for making such trivial error. I must have written way more complicated code without any problem but this made me embarrassed to even admit. 🤦‍♂️

Been programming Java for a few weeks now, and WTF is this, Java?!
"Example".equals("Example")

What is wrong with the form that a dozen of other languages use?
"Example" == "Example"

P. S. If you don't know Java, the latter one compares for the type of objects and always returns true in this case.

LPT: NEVER accept a freelance job without looking at the project's source first

Client: I have a project made by a company that is now abandoning it, I want you to fix some bugs

Me: Okay, can you:
1) Give me a build to test the current state of the game
2) Tell me what the bugs are
3) Show me the source
4) Tell me your budget

Client: *sends a list of 10 bugs* Here's the APK and to give you the project I'll need you to sign an NDA

Me: Sure...

*tests build*
*sees at least 20 bugs*
*still downloading source*
*bugs look quite easy to fix should be done under an hour*

Me: Okay, so, I can fix each bug for $10 and I can do 2 today

Client: Okay can you fix 8 bugs today for $40??

*sigh*

Me: No I cannot.

Client: okay then 2 today for $20 is fine, I want a refund if you can't fix them today

*sigh*

Me: Look dude, this isn't the first time I am doing this, aight? I'll fix the bugs today you can pay me after check they are done, savvy?

Client: okay

*source is downloaded*
*literal apes wrote the scripts, commented out code EVERYWHERE
Debug logs after every line printing every frame causing FPS drops, empty objects in the scene
multiple unused UI objects
everything is spaghetti*

*give up, after 2 hours of hell*
*tfw averted an order cancellation by not taking the order and telling client that they can pay me after I am done*

Attached is an image of a level object pool
It's an array with each element representing a level.
The numbers and "Final" are ids for objects in an object pool
The whole string is .Split(',') into an array (RIP MEMORY BTW) and then a loop goes through each element in the split array and instantiates the object from an object pool

Is that how you make objects in C?
gcc car.c -o car

-- Once upon a time in a long forgotten country, a most wise wizard created a magic software that would replace all TODO comments in PHP files with actual code...

-- But dad, that's the wrong story. You wanted to tell the story of the WTF witch who makes all JS objects falsy.

Me -- Hm, okay mister, you got me. Let's see.

Me again -- Once upon a time in the far-off country of Whatthefuckia...

Man I'm so proud of my son.

The whole idea of development is ego boosting. The idea of turning thought into action by building something is very intoxicating. The power to create something from nothing. To be able to construct a world where everything in that world follows my rules of existence. Whether those objects be a database, or an NPC in a game. Development is literally the power of a god!

Some people say I have a god complex. Yes, of course I do, I am a software developer...

So, i have never really liked javascript. I have found it too cumbersome with it variable types of objects, and no classe (before ES6) and so on.

But man i am starting to love node! It's so freaking elegant and simple, apart from the possibility of a dependency hell. It's so quick and easy to make elegant web-apps and other things.

I've gotta say, i never thought that i would love something based on javascript this much <3

Can anyone tell me what are those objects are called? I might buy one if they have hsl or rgba 😂

So during my internship I wanted to do a cool function to sanitize objects. At the time I spent about 3 days trying to do it, I just couldn't write it. I knew how to fix it, just didn't manage to write it. Today, one year and few months later I remembered about it and wrote it in less than one hour.

First time since I started developing that I realized I actually learned something and that my efforts payed off :)

Alright, I've had it. I was scrolling through Walmart when I saw a kititchen utensil holder with a BLUETOOTH SPEAKER? Who needs this? It probably doesn't even sound that good. I am getting tired of people slapping a Bluetooth speaker in random objects. Someone gave me a Bluetooth flower pot for Christmas. Why do you need a bunch of low quality speakers in random objects? I don't get it.

I don't see women as objects. I consider each to be in a class of her own."

At this point i'd like to talk about the original PHP founder Rasmus Lerdorf, who was obviously too distracted by his own beard while watching the NBA Playoffs in 1995 to write a proper language.

There's not a language more inconsistent, ilogical, deficient, and best of all, bad structured.

Seriously, which substances was he smoking when thinking up such things as: non objective strings, incasesensitive functions and associative arrays?

What have objects ever done? any other honorable language does that, python, javascript, rails, C#, take your pick.
Not to mention the order of needle/haystack parameters.

Had an online programming interview for a start-up, writing code into a shared Google doc while on the phone with the interviewer.
Specifically told that I could just use pseudocode, so I did, without worrying about access modifiers, full variable declarations and use of "new" for making objects, or specific type declarations, etc.
Got told at the end that I "lack experience, and really should have defined access modifiers, declared types, and so on, and that they needed someone proficient in Java. That was the first time I knew about their Java requirement.

> Make a small game.
> Do it in Rust because why not.
> Decide "Hey, why not make the game objects have Lua scripts for their logic because Lua is easier to do quick and dirty code in than Rust?"
> 5 hours later delete all the code related to running the Lua in Rust because AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Why is it that women find C to be more attractive than Java?
Because C doesn’t treat them like objects.

The worst thing of being a dev is that you can never enjoy things at face value anymore. If only I could play games without counting in my head how many objects are ticking too often .etc :(

1. Understand APIs without reading documentation.

2. Write correct code from first try.

3. Know to program in every language.

4. Create the perfect fully functional AI system.

5. Center objects vertically with one line CSS at target object.

MFW I have to deal with an array that has various objects of many types and it's not easily debuggable because the backend is multithreaded.

after 20 years of programming i finally understand objects, classes and methods. what a waste i am!

I feel the whole universe is a programmed game and someone is playing us. Like when we're playing GTA.

Few of us are the main characters and the rest of us are just random objects to populate the earth, we don't have any rule in the story. :(

Birth is the Constructor()
Death is the Finalizer()

Man! I love refactoring! 👨🏻‍💻😍
Only saved about 20 lines but it went from ugly string manipulation to beautiful JavaScript objects!

Trying to get the name of all objects in an array i made , thank god there is nothing wrong here...

While i love Firefox from the bottom of my heart i still cant believe that Chromium does a better job at youtube videos. I mean that in firefox the moving objects in youtube stutter few seconds apart. Chromium movement is butter smooth and both are running 60fps video. This is mind blowing.
And scrolling is butter smooth on chromium too and on firefox it lags sometimes.
Well i guess this is a reason for me to use firefox-canary aur package.
From this last sentence you should know who wrote the rant.

Life is about wrangling, biologists wrangle snakes, porn stars wrangle cocks, I wrangle giant JSON objects.

Never again...:

DELETE FROM objects WHERE id - #####;

😳...fml

The worst was an open source project I tried to look at.

It was written in Turbo Pascal.

I am not sure, never really got so far, but it looked like it was one single class with hundreds of methods and hundreds of instance fields for data.

Almost no data objects, if it needed for example 4 sets of 6 variables it had 24 instance fields and in some instances 4 different sets of methods for accessing said variables.

Around there I stopped looking ;)

The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated​ working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.

Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.

The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."

Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.

On a scale of 1-10, how lazy are you when it comes to prototype code?

Me, well I'm a 'fuck it lets just wildcard anything that is a child of a GLib objects'

Don't be like me kids...

EDIT: Yes i know it should have been an override void

!rant
Update & Thoughts of AngelHack10 Abu Dhabi.
The judges were so non technical they were impressed by an app demo (not ours) that could recognize objects printed in black and white on an A4 paper. The app claimed to read the 3d shape of a device and calculate the running cost based on its power consumption.
I think hackathons must have two pitches one technical and one business. Else every one with hardcoded demos can fool the judges easily.

First time this happens, and first time I work with animated 3d objects

My deepest regret is believing lies about OOP, during my education.
1. It is the best way to model a software, easier to think about objects and relationships: no it is not.
2. It increases reusability: I have seen people invwnting base classes to justify.

Are there any lies you regret believing that you believed during your education?

Shifting from Java to C is rather difficult especially when u r busy with objects

I was trying to make this app a good "SOLID" app. Then I realized if I did that I was going to have 57 objects that were just different enough that I couldn't generalize them and this app just isn't important enough for me to do that. So I took a nap.

Yep, this is definitely a node_modules folder. There‘re no other objects in the universe containing that much files.

Only around 700 lines of code and I finally have my first working Vulkan drawcall! Can't wait to integrate it into my engine for all the parallel rendering goodness (not to mention better architecture and asynchronous-ness)

One thing that's a bit weird about Vulkan is the way everything is very static and tightly linked together. You basically need a different renderpass for each stage of rendering (scene-hdr-no-aa, scene-hdr-msaa4, scene-hdr-smaa1, scence-shadow, post-bloom, post-resolve, etc.), a different pipeline object for each distinct pipeline configuration (!!) and both framebuffers and pipeline objects are only valid within the single renderpass they've been created for (roughly speaking)

Oh, and each time the window is resized you have to recreate *all* of these objects from scratch because they also depend on viewport size

No wonder `pipelineCache` is the first argument of `vkCreateGraphicsPipelines` lol

Just a normal day hydrating my protected objects with an instance of H2O

You know what really grinds my gears? When people criticize a programming language but uses edge cases and stuff that can be avoided by using the tried and true "don't be an idiot". Take for instance JavaScript, a language I like and a language that has a lot you can criticize. But I feel like a lot of peoples criticism isn't warranted.

What's that? No ints? Use parseInt or Math.floor.

What are you saying? == works in strange ways? Yes, that's what we have === for.

Type coercion is wonky? Think it's weird how string + int works differently than string - int? Wanna string with number + - + - - + - - etc? Don't! Don't add strings and ints, don't subtract strings and ints. You can't in statically typed languages and you aren't supposed to in dynamically typed

Adding arrays and objects, arrays and arrays, objects and objects etc. is inconsistent? Why are you trying to do that?

Adding floats together gives odd results? Now we're getting somewhere! And Mozilla responded to that with a method called toFixed.

Declaring variables with var doesn't always work that well? Use let and const

Then there's this weird attitude that some people I've met have, where they will complain about the module system and how "well you rely on the community for those packages" as if it's a bad thing. And then coming with the "well you don't know what the (open source) packages do internally" as if I (for the most part) give a shit. Then they'll swear by companies like Zend or Microsoft as if they can't just stop supporting the languages they use. Maybe it's just because I like community content more because of video game mods.

Wanna criticize JS, then there's plenty to talk about. Like the built in date object is basically shit. Or how in NodeJS you can have node_modules in your node_modules. Or how classes don't really have the best syntax. Left-Pad. And so on (it's too late for me to be able to remember much more).

After years of my own dodgy javascript codes, I've started to throw away everything I know about javascript and learn it from scratch.

Learning that functions are objects really helped in restructuring a pile of my code. Eg passing it as a parameter to be executed.

Suddenly callback functions make a lot of sense now, and I've got a new found respect for the language.

@AlexDeLarge and any other React guys, which do you prefer? Traditional css files, whether that be vanilla or with a preprocessor, or style objects for each component.

There are some pretty clear pros i can identify for both sides, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing somethings and I'd like to hear from you guys your opinions and experiences with either

I don't treat people as objects but some of them are clearly not functional.

I was just chatting with my dad. He used to be mostly a C# dev but changed jobs and is now doing mostly Java. He says he likes it better.... Because it doesn't have lambdas/anonymous functions.

Uh.... Java was the first and only language where you can define interface implementations in-line (aka a whole bunch of functions)...

And 1.8 supports lambdas for Interfaces that have a single function...

I bet he'll hate JS... Where functions are can be passed around like objects, ES6 now supports lambdas and await, async... and anonymous functions (apparently they're called arrow functions?)

As a web designer/developer I hate this recent trend of very light gray text fields on forms that have a white background. I don't want to have to peer at my screen for objects. My vision is average, so why would a client want this?

Can I just say fuck Xcode? How the fuck have I been working on an app for over 3 hours and only now when I do the first compile do you feel like showing me an "Internal Error" message which has caused all of the buttons, labels, text and just objects in general to disappear

We have a long standing, transient, occasional error in our system that we haven't quite been able to (or have had the time to) pin down.

I was thinking out loud with our project lead what the cause could be, which - before I realized it - segwayed seamlessy into me being tasked with hotfixing it in order to unblock some other tasks that people expect to start working on tomorrow.

I think I'm starting to see why people use inanimate objects for rubber ducking instead of other devs. Here's hoping my theory checks out.

Commits are not objects of love, and should not be judged by their size.

Today at work I accidentally redeployed our ELK instance without taking a backup of all of Kibana's saved objects...

I didn't realize Elastic stores all indexes including the Kibana's in it's app folder by default.

Tomorrow will be fun.... I can't decide what to do first... Recreating all the charts and tables from memory... Or fixing the deployment script to change the data dir path...

I would like to know if anyone has created a CSV file which has 10,000,000 objects ?

1) The data is received via an API call.
2) The maximum data received is 1000 objects at once. So it needs to be in some loop to retrieve and insert the data.

We spent a lot of time creating these CSS animated pop-ups that described parts of the product. They looked great, but the client called and said they were "flickering" on her computer. We debugged and could not for the life of us figure out what she meant by flicker. The code was so simple that we couldn't imagine how it could be flickering. It was just a jQuery fadeIn(). It worked fine for us in every browser we tried. So we just gave up. The next day, the client called back and said,"Hey, it looks great. You fixed the flickering. How did you do it?" And our dev replied, "Uh, we set the flicker to 0".

What I can figure out:
You give me a large application with multiple projects/classes/files/functions that is tens of thousands of lines long, I can debug it. I can picture the multi-dimensional data structures, objects that contain lists of other objects, all in my I head.

What I can't figure out:
Should I or should I not look at the person sitting at their desk when I walk back to my desk from the bathroom.

Last 4 days, struggling to get ship it from a Dev who is reviewing my code.

The comments have already piled up more than the LOC submitted.

The code review consists of just 2 interfaces and a pojo. Hardly 20 LOC in total, excluding javadocs.

I hope it gets ship it soon.
Wish me luck.

Core library was giving serious blow out of execution speed as data file size increased.

Traced it back to a GetHashCode implementation that was giving too many collisions for unequal objects, so when used as the key in a hash table it was causing the lookup to fall back to checking Equals (much slower).

Improved the GetHashCode implementation, and also precalculated it on construction (they were immutable objects), and run time went to warp speed! Was very happy with that.

Obviously put in a thread sleep to help manage expectations with the boss/clients going forwards. Can’t give those sort of gains away in one go. Sets a dangerous precedent.

Talking to yellow inanimate objects about things that normal people look at as crazy gibberish.

Spent the afternoon listening to a colleague rant about Python's json.dumps not producing valid JSON, churning out single quotes. Turns out he was trying to encode a STRING that contained data that looked like JSON, instead of a dictionary of objects - which he swore it in fact was.

The way I was told to write unit tests was particularly terrible.

No mocking of objects or dependencies so the tests ran the actual code in full including updating databases and files. Then at the end of each test there was code to restore all changes back to before the test.

Each test ended up being over 100 lines. Madness.

I want to fully understand the use of JS. I know the fundamentals like creating for loops and making objects (which I finally understood last week!). Now, I want to make small-large scale projects.

I finally understand that I have to make HTML semantically and have a specific structure and let the css design the page the way I want it. Still a little iffy on positioning, but I am starting to understand it. I am going to starting cloning existing sites and make sure to practice my web development skill.

So, let me preface this by saying I come from a backend (mostly c#) background.

The way React handles objects changing in state is horrendous. And if you decide to try using hooks, God help you.

I honestly don't know if it's Blazor or something else that will kill js, but something absolutely needs to. It is a dumb, terrible language. It has to go.

All that said, of course I'll go back to work on it tomorrow.

Sorry, js/react guys/gals. Just venting. I'm sure once I 'get it', it will make sense.

Null Pointer Exception

Null Pointer Exception,
you're in a class of your own.
I will try and catch you,
each instance you're thrown.

Null objects expel you,
because you are vile.
I dread that I'll c you,
when I attempt to compile.

Like the grim reaper,
you destroy lines of code.
And so to you,
I dedicate this ode.

You have no remorse
for those who won't test.
As a result,
I need to confess.

From time to time,
when there's no time waste.
I must rely
on cut and on paste.

Although we're acquainted,
I really must mention.
You're not my friend,
Null Pointer Exception.

When did the meaning of
"Statically linked", under Linux, change from

This binary includes all libraries it depends on and will run on any device that runs a sufficiently compatible hardware and kernel.

to

This binary will only run on these 3 Ubuntu versions, because it still depends on a fuckton of shared-objects of " default" libraries and this shit-distro is the only one, that comes pre-bloated with all of them.

I used to be a Java fanboy.

After seeing the modern things one can do with other languages I am just disappointed, that Java is so old-fashioned.
Some would say "BUT IT HAS LAMBDAS".
Good, that we have lambdas. We don't have optional parameters or objects (like in JS's {} or PHP's stdClass).
JVM may have many advantages, but I think, that Java is slowly dying although it is kept alive by some companies, still using Java in prod.
I think, that Kotlin is, what Java should have been.

I hope, that my wishes will be implemented in Java 10. If not, Java is considered as dead.

I do operations on null objects to attempt to explain why my world is always crashing.

Then I resume coding. And crying.

ProfaneDB is a database to store Protobuf objects, working on top of gRPC for cross compatibility.
May evolve anywhere towards a "Serverless" kind of solution; a GraphQL to Protobuf interface; may use SQL as backend...

When life gives you class, make as much objects as possible so that there is a memory leak in the system...

My friend alfred who is a C# programmer, has got a threatening letter from some feminists. Apparently he's treating women as "objects" recently. :/

Sprint release -

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear

1.)Not defining functions and writing the entire code everytime needed.

2.) Initialising objects if classes and using them only for next 2 lines and then destroying them.

No it didnt take me half of a fucking day to figure out a way to move only 1 object when having multiple objects of the same shader in OpenGL totally not.

Meeting at 'Derp & Co', the topic was what data model should send the back-end to frontend & app via API calls:

- Coworker: 'we should send the data structured like this for reasons'.
- Me: 'Yeah, this nested object.object.object should do the trick for the front end, but this will be a pain in the ass to convert to POJOs. Why not use something like idk better structure?'

<Mad/intrigued faces>

- CoworkerS: 'Why you need to use POJOs?'
- Me: <More Mad> 'cause I work with java in android... and we have/need/like objects?

<Captain Obvious left the room>

- CoworkerS: 'Oh yeah, well... we can do it the way you say'.

Why you need Objects... what is the next?
- Git? For what? Did not have the usb key from day one?

Just finished going through a 45k++ lines of json objects to find those stupid objects with wrong formate !!
😣😭 and they are all numbers !!!!

Hello and welcome, to a presentation in which I will tell you my thoughts on the shortcomings of modern day computers and programming practices.

Computers are based on a very fundamental and old idea, folders, and files, a file is basically a concrete amount of data, whereas a folder is a group of files, and it comes from the real life concept of files and folders, now it might be quite obvious already that using a concept invented in 1898 by a guy called Edwin G. Seibels, might not be the best way for computers to function in the year 2020, but alas, it is.

Unless of course, you step into the world of a programmer.

A programmer’s world is much different, they use this idea of a data structure, or in simpler terms, an object. An Object is just like what you would think of as an object in your head, something with different properties that you can think about in different ways, for example your mobile phone, it has a battery percentage, it has a screen size, it has free space available. Programmers use these data structures to analyse data very quickly, like finding all phones with a screen size bigger than a certain size for example.

The problem is that programmers still use files and folders to create the programs that use these objects.

Consider this example.

Let’s say you want to create a virtual version of a drink bottle, consider what properties it will have, colour, volume, height, width, depth, material, etc..

As a programmer, you can leverage programming features and change the properties of a drink bottle directly, if you wanted to change the colour, you just say, drink bottle “dot” colour, equals blue, or red.

But if the drink bottle was represented as a file, all the drink bottles data would be inside the one file, so you would have to open the whole file, find the line or section of the file that has the colour data of the drink bottle, and select it, highlight it, delete what’s there, and type in your new value.

One way to explain this better is to imagine a folder that now represents the drink bottle, imagine adding a new file into that folder that represents each property I described before, colour, volume, etc.., well now, you could just open that folder, find the file for colour, either by looking with your eyes or you could do a file search in the folder for a file called colour, open it, and edit the value inside. This way of editing objects is the one that more closely represents the way programmers and a program itself interacts with objects inside a running programming language.

But the thing is, programmers don’t use the folder/file way of creating objects and putting them into programs, because it would be too cumbersome, they just create 1 file for an object, or have lots of objects in a file, and create all the objects in 1 file, and then run the program which creates the objects, then when they stop the program, it deletes the objects. So there is no actual link between the object in a file and the object that the program creates by reading the data from that file, if you change the object in your program, it does not get saved to the file.

So programmers created databases to house these objects, but there is still a flaw in databases, they are hard to interface with, and mostly databases are just used to send data or retrieve data from, programmatically, you can’t really browse a database the way you can browse the files on your computer. You can, but database interfaces are not made to be easily navigated the way files and folders are.

As it stands, there is no way to store objects instead of files on your computer and interact with them in complex ways the way programmers can inside the programs they create.

If the idea of an object became standard the way a file and folder is standard, I think it would empower human’s a great deal to express things far more easily and fluidly than they can today.

Thanks for reading.

For now my girlfriend and i are in a situation like ... ^^

List<ChancesToKeepLove> anychances = new List<ChancesToKeepLove>(){A lot of objects};

try{
Do something without any contact with other women;
}catch(ExceptionByMe){
sysout("She: It's over between us!");
anychances.Clear();
sysout("Me: Nooo");
}

When I was starting with Python at work I was very confused about identifying what is function, class, module, object instance, etc. just by name so I asked my colleague with PHP background to follow PEP8 and use meaningful names for objects. He's like okay and the next day I find this:

class vv(models.Model):

A remote SQLite database where huge blobs of JSON created by python’s pickle module were stored in a single cell. These blobs include things that should have been many-to-many, like users and competitions. This database (including the pickled python objects) was queried by API calls from an iOS app.

Beat that...!

1. Coding gets me naturally high. Mentally sound and sharpens my focus.

2. Beating a challenge by code is fun. And watching something I spent much time on working is great. Like setting up all those dominos to watch them cascade and fall down one after another...bliss!

3. People think I'm smart because I can type instructions into inanimate objects and make lights flash on the screen.

teach meta language concepts: what is an operator, literal, constant, statment, control flow. the recursive nature of staments. then go into objects/methods vs structs/procedures. then teach some java. then go into reflection concepts. then use reflection for something simple. then teach a bit of perl. then let them build something in python. Anyone who can pass through that will know how to Program in whatever you give him/her.
I wish my teachers talked about the meta programing, instead on focusing on the minutia.

Object.prototype.shit

and now all my objects have access to shit

Knowledge of the day: A *wishlist* is something you put objects on, to buy them later for yourself.

Coworker: So should we just make a living document to keep track of how all these objects are going to interact with each other?

Boss: No, are you kidding? No one reads documentation!

I mean... he has a point...

Suggestions for a good speech to text program for someone who mumbles and talks too fast?

I sliced my thumb while washing a knife and typing on my computer without it is getting annoying

Im a junior android dev working in a startup. Wasted whole week on trying to parse some retarded json data generated by junior backend guy.

Im talking about objects with other objects as their elements, no use of arrays.

In the end had to redo his data in proper order so I could parse properly. Fkin waste of time.

At least now I know how to do his work, and won't be afraid to confront him with detailed criticism.

!rant
when you find 3 spelling errors in the same line of code and realize that these are legit 'cause the objects and methods are actually coded misspelled.

That's when no one dare doing code review but simply it builds and its fine.

Luckily #NotMyCode

Why the dick did you saved objects as strings in db????
Dammit!

Android, the development side.

First it was cool to put stuff together and then i wanted to actually use the phone hardware and realized that the api is terrible and abstracted away in the worst way possible.

Like every java dev would make something like new Camera().photo("penis.jpg") and let the gc take care of the rest but nooooooooo you need persisted objects and datastreams and special permission checks.

Php's syntax for objects.

Have you ever copy the the data from the console in chrome?
Means the data you print by using console.log().
There is a sure way to copy the data from the chrome console. Even there is many nested objects.

I love that feature of chrome.

We are all just objects in a Giant program called life

The new devRant avatar feature is so cool and there are so many ideas for customization being posted. Maybe at some point our dev community can build and submit custom devRant avatar objects according to devRant specs. I might even try to build a Bernoulli box 😀
Thoughts?

In office I work on a RedHat VM on a windows m/c.
At home I work on elementaryOS VM on a macbook.
My shortcuts are fucked.

My brain= processor
Your mouth= raw data
I only process the logic that comes out of your mouth and typecast it to my system's logic and try to fit you in one of my objects using a visitor pattern.if I need to create a new dynamic object , my system throws a "you are special" message.

I need to stop treating an OO language as if it were a procedural language.

I have the tendency to turn my code into GOTO spaghetti even though I'm semi-aware that objects exist and that they are distinct.
I still have to get used to this paradigm.

My Java professor always swore by the Plato paradigm, i.e.:
""Platonism" and its theory of Forms (or theory of Ideas) denies the reality of the material world, considering it only an image or copy of the real world.
According to this theory of Forms there are at least two worlds: the apparent world of concrete objects, grasped by the senses, which constantly changes, and an unchanging and unseen world of Forms or abstract objects, grasped by pure reason (λογική). which ground what is apparent." (wikipedia)

Thinking in objects, abstractions and metaphysics is not something I haven't done before (I've practiced it during Sociology and Ethics with the whole Pascal Leibniz, Newton and DesCartes approach) but it's certainly not easy.

Then there was my cool Programming 201 professor who said: "Don't worry man, just read those great UML, Program Design and GOF books and it will all become easy, like a story. It'll all make sense.
I mean, I've graduated, I've passed my Software Engineering I, II and III (hard as hell) but since I haven't focused on those theories and practices anymore, I've lost my touch.

It's definitely not easy for a novice programmer to transition between paradigms..

!@#GDSGA!Q@#@

In my absolute lack of genius, I just lost way too much time finally realizing that in C# linq-to-objects removes duplicates when you use Union().

At one point I knew this, but I forgot about it because I never want duplicates, slowly forgetting what Union() was doing.

*This time* however, the duplicates are required and it all goes to crap without them.

Save me, Concat()!

You can run but you can't hide from noobery.

Blahb;asdfabnahsdfa.

Gna gna gna Chrome you stupid sucker!

I have some objects that I animate using JS triggered CSS translate with a transition duration. Why on earth would Chrome think it's a good idea to apply that duration also after the animation when I zoom the whole page?!

OK, slap a transition end handler on the object and reset the transition duration when the animation is done. But FF doesn't have that problem in the first place, and even IE works as intended!

People writing C with some ocasional objects and calling it C++11... seriously, wtf...

A simple object mapper for CosmosDB SQL API

Cosmonaut is an object mapper that enables .NET developers to work with a CosmosDB using .NET objects. It eliminates the need for most of the data-access code that developers usually need to write.

Shout out those who love to nest objects inside structures inside arrays.

makeup [1].your.getMind()

Co-worker: So if you were to build a glove like what Ultron had that could levitate objects how would you do it?

Me: I'm not sure, but I'd begin by looking at the work Ed Leedskalin was doing in Florida.

Co-worker: Of course you have a possible lead on this...

XD

"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.

participating at an coding challenge.

the mission is to write an game solver for an game engine - in java. based on astar, pathfinding should be made possible by cloning objects.
never seen a so hardly misconcepted challenge, where character instances and their variables are static and contain uncloneable data😂 oh god what a waste of time realizing this bs

Colleague (Lead Engineer): Hey, check my code. I'm trying to group a list of Request objects by their id. Something is not working here

Me: * saw his code, had a lot of shitty loops, called all for a quick meet, changed his shitty mess to one liner

list.stream()
.collect(Collectors.groupingBy(Request::getId))

Walked out like a boss*
😎

Fuck webpack.
..besides that what really grinds my gears is the cloning of objects in js. I do like js, but why can't I just say object.clone ? Or Objects.clone(object)?
I mean deep down an object is just 1s and 0s and I just don't know why, there is no standard or nice way to do this. Would this be technically be possible?
Maybe someone knows more about this whole thing, would be happy to hear.

Tip: if you are doing a semi complex or complex query in Django and you have doubts print the SQL statement and analyze it. i.e print(queryset.query)

Just reduced a query to 1 join instead of two by just passing a list of int's instead of a list of objects.

ARRAY LIKE OBJECTS

Long story short, i am fiddling a bit around with javascripts, a json object a php script created and encountered "array-like" objects. I tried to use .forEach and discovered it doesnt work on those.

Easy easy, there is always Array.from()..just..it doesnt work, well it does work for one subset called ['data'] which contains the actual rows i generate a table from, but for the ['meta'] part of the json object it just returns a length 0 object..me no understanderino

at least something cheered me up when researching, it was an article with the quote: "Finally, the spread operator. It’s a fantastic way to convert Array-like objects into honest-to-God arrays."
I like honest-to-God arrays..or in my case honest to Fortuna..doesnt solve my problem though

Me : Hey, can we add datas in the database so we can test every single possible situation with it ?

Worker : Nah, it's better that you don't touch it, lemme do it.

*Later*
Worker : Hey I've added data to test our code.

Me : *fetch data, see only three similar objects that fits in only a situation, I can't test the others" Thank you, that was really helpful.

"Mutability increases complexity by adding the dimension of time to all objects."

Others: Don't treat Animals🐨 like objects.

My Highschool Teacher: Animal animal = new Animal ();

I don’t have to be that guy, but...................

Fuck php, especially arrays and objects.

Not knowing what persistence was and copying JS objects with JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(...)) trying to make it “pure immutable”.

Fml.

Client deletes erp record with a massive amount of aggregate objects. Calls and almost has a nervous breakdown.

Thank god for soft deletes, they make awesome invoices.

the company I work for has code that's very procedural which makes cringe as I strongly prefer object oriented.

I once found a bug that I couldn't figure out from the code, so I started putting log statements that would print out the variables on screen (yes I have xDebug, but old habits die hard). Then the entire website didn't load anymore and eventually the entire container crashed.

It took me an hour to realize I was trying to var_dump an object from the ORM, resulting in a memory overload since there were like 20 related objects that recursively tried to load all the data in the database.

In my defense, it was friday afternoon...

Me: Interview is in 3 hours, I'm prepared, it's non technical anyway, just be yourself.

Brain to me: What the fuck is big 'O' notation? Objects you mean chairs? Turing? That's some kind of robot right?

Also me: fuck....

If you feel you're not confused enough in life, try writing JS for a Rhino engine interface implemented on a Java codebase.
I have to deal with stringified JSON, native JSON, java JSON objects (org.json.JSONObject) and all the different attributes and functions specific to each of these objects.
Even "Why are the Kardashians so famous?" doesn't confuse me as much as this shit does.

First you make a filthy JSON protocol where numbers are encapsulated into strings.

Then you document this little fact nowhere. Actually you don't document anything at all.

Then you make a shitty parser that ignores any exception. So that when I try to send my objects, it took two hours to figure out it was "my fault" as I was sending actual integers instead of strings.

I think you deserve to suffer a terrible agony for exactly the amount of time I lost.

Yesterday I spent almost 3 hours trying to sort an array of objects in java. I'm a person who has written a lot of python and dart code and java is just so daunting. Every simple thing is so complicated.
You can sort a list of objects wrt any parameter using a one liner in python.
Finally after copy pasting a lot of code from stack overflow the thing got sorted. And the worst part I don't even know how the thing works.

I've always sucked at OOP and OOD, _in part_ because I have never encountered a good, common sense, relatable real-world example or analogy of why one would use protected or private variables/objects/functions over public. I watch tutorials and it all just sounds like static in my head and the explanations are just like "well, it's obvious you want to do blah blah blah because reasons."

Maybe it's just painfully obvious to everyone but me and my tiny brain just isn't capable of understanding. But if anyone has the example or analogy that made OOP click for you, please share.

When it comes to config files for any kind of application, I tend to make sure that I understand what each config does, and that for each environment, they have the correct settings.

However some of my co-workers don't bother understanding what the configs mean and so I have people copying and pasting config details from development environments into staging and production configs. They think that just changing hostnames is more than enough.

So they ended up wasting a good 3 hours trying to figure out why sessions were always invalidating and cached objects were not caching. I had a look at the config and realised their mistake in like 3 mins.

Maintaining a C# .Net application as a Java developer
with a 30k line auto generated soap service.
Where each service gets its own objects...

Today I was looking for a JSON to CSV flattener app.

I need one for work that doesn't send the data to a server... (I actually got in a bit of trouble using an online prettifier which apparently sends it to the server to format...)

But couldn't find one. Now I could code own... But wanted to ask first to myself the trouble.

I found a few but they were huge apps 40mb+)... and trials.

There was also a JS one but don't work well was the data isn't rectangular (objects have different properties)

1. Commented code instead of actually cleaning it up.
2. Returning default return variables instead of rewriting obsolete code. (Generally if/else conditions with return). So instead of removing the if/else statements i return default value(null or empty objects). This is when the case of if/else will never arise.

The company I worked for had to do deletion runs of customer data (files and database records) every year, mainly for legal reasons. Two months before the next run they found out that the next year would bring multiple times the amount of objects, because a decade ago they had introduced a new solution whose data would be eligible for deletion for the first time.

The existing process was not be able to cope with those amounts of objects and froze to death gobbling up every bit of ram on the testing system. So my task was to rewrite the exising code, optimize api calls and somehow I ended up in multithreading the whole process. It worked and is most probably still in production today. 💨

Why does C get all the girls, and Java gets none?
– Because C doesn’t treat them as objects.

Recently started an apprenticeship as software developer and tried to build something with JavaScript... aka. copy pasted a bit and after a while my brain kept shouting at me: "YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING, TAKE A FKIN BOOK AND YOU'LL MAYBE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOURE DOING THERE!" - and I did... turns out that the book is quite old and I finally landed on Codecademy - now I make progress :).

Made some smaller things in other languages before, but never really understood things like objects and classes... codecademy helps! And I can already laugh about some things here :D. This app is great! I feel like I'm part of "something".

Have a nice Day :)!

So it's Valentine's day here in the states.
I don't know what to do for my GiF.
All I did was rm -rf objects around the apartment and she seemed pleased...Am I doing this relationship thing right?

Found out a contractor stored 2.5 million rows of user info as json objects. 2.5 million is our sample size. Please tell me this is nuts right... Searching that would be taxing right?

!rant

So, I've been working on a new project, it's basically a java library/package/jar with a lotta nice gadgets and stuff in.

The current functionality is limited, but will expand more as time goes on.

Right now it's able to:
apply ARGB filters to images (changing ARGB values), save objects in files on disk(Serializer/Deserializer), send emails with working create/load/unload configuration-system which saves a user-config to a file, loads and works with it, but the most coolest thing...

random char generation MY GOOOODDD

yea just wanted to post this cuz im rly proud

well well well.
i seem to like javascript syntax more than php.
there, i said it.

it´s not a post about php being bad. in fact i did and do nice things with it. but in the last few months i learned a lot about javascript and now the time has come i get a grasp on opinions of php being inconsistent. and a growing feeling of love for objects. maybe i just have not reached the dark pits of strange js-comparisons like similar objects not being equal. but still...
no, php, i will not abandon you. but sometimes we have to talk about our feelings.

Moment.js, because without it, formatting and converting JS Date objects to other timezones is a bitch

Time it took me to write REST API and DB objects = 20 mins

Time it took me to to write a shitty Python 15-line script that parses a text file with regex's = 2 hours after I asked Stackoverflow

Don't even know what to say.

Got a nice solution, part of a micro-services system. Interfaces where they should be. Single responsibilities. Easily unit testable (and plenty of tests in there).
Then the Senior rewrites things because he didn’t see the point in having interfaces and couples every layer to a shared set of objects, and those objects are now shared by all the other micro-services too. One change in one and we have to repeat it in every service. 🤦‍♂️

FUCKING VARIABLES DESCRIBING COMPLEX OBJECTS NAMED $co.

So... I’ve recently started a new role, and luckily I’ve established myself as someone that knows his shit (more or less) TM.

I’m leading the charge on tech debt, and raising issues about it, first on my radar is the monstrosity of their approach to app config.

It’s a web app, and they store config in a key-value table in the database.

Get this. The key is the {type}.{property} path and this is fetched from the database and injected *at construction* via reflection.

Some of these objects get instantiated dozens of times per-request. Eurgh.

Seeing some Ruby just reminded me of something.

Fuck Objective-C. What kind of lazy fuck makes C object oriented by stapling SmallTalk to it? A better name would be "C: Now with Dissociative Identity Disorder...oh and objects".

Apple apologists make excuses for this miserable language all the time...why? Because it's the only thing Apple would give you?

Swift is definitely an improvement though.

I hope this book finally makes me understand factories that make builders that make classes that make fucking objects.

Sorry for the bad light btw.

Why Dart was designed with idiocy:

1) naming conventions are idiotic

Most other languages are smart enough to not throw errors when the variable name matches its type. And lots of others, for any lexemme - only 1 naming kind is allowed.

Fine. Oh wait, there's that thing called existing databases and GraphQL & other APIs, should they all adapt to this? No, because 2) is the bonus

2) String keys in objects. Unless it's a class with boilerplate, you write them as strings and access them as strings.

So here's the solution when you want to integrate Dart with existing services: write a lot of JSONSerializable decorators to fit with dart's pissy naming requirements.

I went back and looked at some code I wrote a couple years ago. It made me so sad... I well and truely did not understand a lot of core concept yet at the time, and I was stubborn and thought what I was writing was good and refused to start over or delete code.

This try block had 4 FileInputStream objects and I even have a defined branching statement which I never use.

Whoever marked this assignment probably needed a lot of alcohol.

"Objects and their manufacture are inseparable, you understand a product if you understand how it’s made." - Jonathan Ive

String concatenation using + instead of StringBuilder....
Using prototype objects instead of singleton wherever required..

I miss functions that do stuff.

Just a simple logic piece that does the stuff it wants to do. Without classes, objects, interfaces, frameworks or configurations.

I mean, yes, wrapping the functions behind the implementation of an indifferent interface is usually a good call.. As long as it stays simple.
But it rarely does, doesn't it?

Spring boot does very much automagically.... but to find every possible configuration is hard....

I found out that it has an automatic config for Scheme Server... but how the fuck to configure it 😑

And do I still need avro made domain objects 🤔 it's hard to fight through all these documentations and versions of spring. 😖