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When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.15
There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.8
My previous job I got by winning an Xbox Kinect hackathon. Not because the game I made was really good or anything. But because I was the only one who actually built something. (Apart from a guy who’s application would cheer louder as you raised your arms.) So that evening I left the hackathon with an Xbox one and a job.
My job was to build advert games, games whose primary goal is to advertise a company or event. This is the job where I learned I DO NOT like game development. So after about half a year I quit.
Because I still needed money I did some freelance work as a game developer (I developed 3 advert games for 3 startups).
I was still looking around for dev jobs but because I was a student I had no luck, they were all looking for full timers.
At some point I called this one (Dutch) company and spoke to a very odd French person on the phone. He invited me to come over for an interview. I had very little information about the job so I started researching the company. They are a small company specialized in complex content migrations. I wasn’t that into migrations but hell, I’m always up for something new.
Upon arrival I was greeted by the familiar French voice and saw a collection 6 diverse developers sharing a space. We did the usual interview dance and practices and that’s where I figured out this is a java job. They developed tools for the professional services team to perform these complex migrations I mentioned earlier. With me never having touched java before I was quite sure I wouldn’t get the job. But I took the test anyway.
About halfway through the test I was stopped and they started to ask me some conceptual questions, I did okay there but nothing special. That same day the architect took me to their CEO and told him I had:
- very little experience
- no migration experience
- was still a student so could only work 20 hours a week
- he saw some potential they could work with
Quite unexpectedly, they still hired my 20 year old ass.
Now the company has grown to a good 20+ developers with a nicely sized professional services team and we are launching our first out-of-the-box product in a couple of weeks.
So that’s how I got my job. If you read to this very end, my hat is off to you!7
Dance like noone is watching.
Encrypt like everyone is.
Sudo like you have backups.
Tag like you're a SEO.
Vim like you know how to exit.
Ticket frontend like you're the project manager.
Commit like saying "fuck you" in the message is appropriate.
Alert like you would use console.log
Design like you know CSS.
Comment like you aren't the only dev.
Code like PHP isn't outdated.
Try to work like you know how to quit devrant.10
Professor essentially doing a dance to show data visualisation:
“Hey pay attention! I’m trading my dignity for your education”4
When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?8
Alias coworker = high school classmate
This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.
1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.
So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.6
First rant here. Long, but please bear with me:
So after slogging my ass off in various early stage startups for over 4 years and keeping up with the almost non-existent development process, I joined an organisation which has some of the brightest and smartest minds I have had the pleasure to work with.
Mind you, this company is the market leader in it's field and has a 50+ people in it's tech team and the quality of work is pretty impressive.
Now for this week's sprint, I was asked to develop a feature which already exists on the Android app and they want to introduce in the iOS app too. The backend APIs are all in place and all I need to do is build it with virtually no dependency. My PM asks me to start with the UI and ask the backend dev for the API list whenever I need them.This is where the story turns.
For my first API, I go to the backend dev and ask him to share the API documentation and he looks at me as if I have asked him to dance the fucking cha cha. With a straight face he tells me that, 'The organisation doesn't maintain any kind of documentation for it's APIs.' Now this really shocks me. Even in a 5 men tech teams I have worked on, we have always maintained a spec doc for the APIs and this is a company which is known for it's tech practices.
Being the new guy I compose myself and ask if they have anything for me here: Postman collection, a workflowy doc, a goddamn txt file; anything which might help me, and he laughs at my dilusion and says no.
Dejected, I ask for a way to get the APIs and I am told that there are only two ways: either I keep bothering the Android dev for the APIs(No, I don't have the access to the android repo and nor am I gonna get it) which he had worked on 4 months back or I install the prod app on my phone, and use Charles to get every fucking API which is really, really annoying.
I thought writing out this rant would make me feel better, turns out it just made me angrier. Why the fuck can't they document such an important thing!?13
Want to finish my little friend for a long time now. He can dance Michael Jackson's moonwalk for now.
Idea was to use the sonar sensor to switch dancing styles but he is still blind :(12
As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.7
So I went out to a country bar with some friends to dance... and my friend told some random dude I was a developer for some reason and he approached me with his grand idea for an app...😂4
Today my dear friends 😊, I will tell you WHY THE FUCK DO I FUCKING HATE WHATSAPP FROM THE CORE OF MY HEART 😡
The original idea of having a real time silent conversation with somebody around the globe is amazing.
But why did Brian Acton, think that the users will be humans?
You talk to your loved ones? Fine by me.
You use with for work communication? Fine by me.
You don't give a fuck about your privacy (because of lack of awareness or some other reason)? Your choice. I am fine with it.
But you spam the shit out of each other with repeated 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night' rainbow coloured flower meme with your most idiotic unicorn posed photo on it? JUST FUCK OFF.
The content is just moved from one group to another. Stupid random images and videos with no purpose at all are just blindly forwarded from one user to another.
One assholes sends it to hundred others. Then those assholes send it back to original sender and other hundreds. They post it in mutual groups countless time. The cycle keeps repeating and your phone is jammed like a toilet pipe with shit everywhere.
Repost after repost after repost. No rules, no regulations.
Duplicate and repeated content is over-clocking WhatsApp's servers.
Things get worse, when videos and images of people dying are circulated and THESE IDIOTS MAKE THEM GO VIRAL.
People say they have no courage to watch such things, yet go ahead and watch the entire video/all the images.
I mean how on earth can you watch such disturbing stuff on loop?
I hate it when they shove their screen in my face and ask me to watch such things saying how disturbing it is.
God damn fuck!!! If it is disturbing then stop fucking watching it. Stop fucking forwarding it to other mindless dicks. Stop fucking asking me to watch it.
Enjoying dark humour and watching disturbing things are different things. Though I enjoy dark humour, but never will I wish ill of others or forward such images or videos.
PEOPLE SHOULD FUCKING UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECT MY PREFERENCES.
I show them a small interesting educational video and then bash the shit out of me saying that it was boring and I wasted their time.
IF SO THEN FUCK OFF WITH YOUR STUPID CONTENT. SHOVE YOUR PHONE UP YOUR ASS AND DANCE AROUND NAKED WHILE YOUR PHONE VIBRATES WITH ALL THOSE STUPID NOTIFICATIONS.
WhatsApp should be banned. It not only causes emotional damage, but that shit is fucking annoying.20
Hello everyone, this is my first time here so hi! I want to tell you all a story about my current situation.
At 18 while in the military I was able to get my first computer, it was a small hp pavilion laptop with windows 7. The system would crash constantly, even though I would only use it for googling stuff and using fb to talk to people. 5 months after I got it and continuously hated it decided to find out why and who could I blame (other than myself) for the system making me do the ctrl alt del dance all the time....
Found out that there are people called computer programmers that made software. Decided to give it a go since I had some free time most days. Started out with c++ because it was being recommended in some websites. Had many "oh deeeeer lord" moments. After not getting much traction I decided to move to Java which seemed like an easier step than C++. Had fun, but after some verbosity I decided to move into more dynamic lands. Tried JS and since at the time there was no Node and I was not very into the idea of building websites I decided to move into Python, Ruby, PHP and Perl and had a really great time using and learning all of them. I decided to get good in theoretical aspects of computer programming and since I had a knack for math I decided to get started with basic computer science concepts.
I absolutely frigging loved it. And not only that, but learning new things became an obsession, the kind that would make me go to bed at 02:40 am just to wake up at 04:00 or 06:00 because the military is like that. I really wanted to absorb as much as I could since I wanted to go to college for it and wanted to be prepared since I did not wanted to be a complete newb. Took Harvard CS50, Standford Programming 101 with Java, Rice's Python course and MIT's Python programming class. I had so much fun I don't regret it one bit.
By the time I got to college I had already made the jump to Linux and was an adept Arch user, Its not that it was superior or anything, but it really forced me to learn about Linux and working around a terminal and the internals of the system to get what I want. Now a days I settle for Fedora or Debian based systems since they are easier and time is money.
Uni was a breeze, math was fun and the programming classes seemed like glorified "Hello World" courses. I had fun, but not that much fun, most of my time was spent getting better at actual coding. I am no genius, nor my grades were super amazing(I did graduate with honors though) but I had fun, which never really happened in school before that.
While in school I took my first programming gig! It was in ASP.NET MVC, we were using C#, I got the job through a customer that I met at work, I was working in retail during the time and absolutely hated it. I remember being so excited with the gig, I got to meet other developers! Where I am from there aren't that many and most of them are very specialized, so they only get concerned with certain aspects of coding (e.g VBA developers.....) and that is until I met the lead dev. He was by far one of the biggest assholes I had ever met in my life. Absolutely nothing that I would do or say made hem not be a dick. My code was steady, but I would find bugs of incomplete stuff that he would do, whenever I would fix it he would belittle me and constantly remind me of my position as a "junior dev" in the company saying things as "if you have an issue with my code or standards tell me, but do not touch the code" which was funny considering that I would not be able to advance without those fixes. I quit not even 3 months latter because I could not stand the dick, neither 2 of the other developers since the immediately resigned after they got their own courage.
A year latter I was able to find myself another gig. I was hesitant for a moment since it was another remote position in which I had already had a crappy experience. Boy this one was bad. To be fair, this was on me since I had to get good with Lumen after only having some exposure to Laravel. Which I did mentioned repeatedly even though he did offer to train me in order to help him. Same thing, after a couple of weeks of being told how much I did not know I decided to get out.
That is 2 strikes.
So I waited a little while and took a position inside another company that was using vanilla PHP to build their services. Their system was solid though, the lead engineer remains a friend and I did learn a lot from him. I got contracted because they were looking for a Java developer. The salary was good. But when I got there they mentioned that they wanted a developer in Java...to build Android. At the time I was using Java with Spring so I though "well how hard can this be! I already use Android so the love for the system is there, lets do this!" And it was an intense, fun and really amazing experience.
-- To be continued.10
I just can't learn dance moves, every tutorial is like 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 1, 2, 3, 4 where's the freeken first step?6
Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?15
Drop brother off at a new years party, where he will be until sunrise partying with friends.
Me: Have fun!
Me: *drives back home, grabs laptop and opens up IntelliJ*
Me: Let the finger dance begin!
Have I mentioned I hate parties?4
Alright, so you are a dishwasher and you do your job just fine.
And great news, the restaurant you work in is becoming THE restaurant in town.
To handle the volume you need to clean each dish within 30 seconds.
The pressure causes you to clean only the dishes that are easy to clean. Soup bowls come before ramekins with half-eaten Crème brûlée. This works for a while but it's self-defeating because not everyone is going to order soup and there is a growing shortage of clean "hard" dishes because you can only scrub so many of them to keep the chefs supplied. Eventually you are moving about 70% of the dishes in inventory at any given time and rarely used dishes have to sit filthy with their contents caking on until they are needed.
But Good news! Meet Jeb. He's the new dishwasher here to help. Efficiency! Except you have to stop and explain which dishes are easy and why they should come first. You have to share the sink, so you get a good helping of Jeb's rants about how things should have never gotten to this state and how nice the faucet was at the sink at the other restaurant.
In the interests of not making a scene in the kitchen and in front of any customers looking in, you smile and feed him a line of bullshit about how you understand and appreciate his thoughtful feedback. You'd rather just walk away and let him learn why being right doesn't buy him anything, but then you'd just be reprimanded. You and Jeb clean more and more until your moods match at a dead zone of benign acceptance thinly disguising your cynicism.
Still, part of you DOES understand Jeb. This SHOULD be simple. You pick a dish up, you scrub it until it's clean, and then you dry it. If only you could do that. If only the boss knew how hard you have to fight to do your job.
You privately go back and think about how much better things would be with some adjustments. Like, another sink. A dedicated dryer, be it person or a machine. Things that require investment, sure, but would more than make up for the value lost. You then remember that doing your job more efficiently would only bring more volume to perpetuate the cycle, assuming that you can even justify interruptions or reduced dish output to your boss.
You know that the root cause of your rush is really the customer's impatience and the business' fear of losing customers to a more convenient competitor, but that's not your job to fix. You are a dishwasher. You aren't here for the politics, you are here to wash dishes. But still you stew in a dance of wanting the power to fix what is broken while knowing you have no power to fix the most stubborn force on Earth: people.
You here a chef yell out that he needs 4 plates NOW (and not with spots on them this time, dammit), and you briefly fantasize about staring blankly into space, walking stiffly into a corner, dropping your pants, bending over, rumbling your butt cheeks, and blasting a thundershit like a 6-gauge all over the sink, the chefs, the food, fucking Jeb, and the customer body at large.
It didn't matter if you acted like a four-year old on amphetamines. The news would repeat your name for years as the dishwasher that wouldn't stand for the human condition as it stood, because the world needs to know that EVERY dishwasher's, no, EVERY WORKER's job would be simpler if it weren't for impatient consumers. And then things would change.
Pffffft lol. You laugh off your fantasy as the naive and selfish daydream that it is, then pick up the next soup bowl.
Now imagine everyone thinking this way, the dishes are invisible, the sink bowls are made of cracked cement, and the big customers will panic and attempt to raid the kitchen if they stop seeing food come out of the kitchen the instant they ask for it. And the boss asks you about your status every day while promising that you'll have time to clean the hard dishes one day.
This is Enterprise-level Software Engineering.3
Do something brainless.
Like taking a shit.
Hear music loud and dance.
Talk to people but don't listen.
Surf in the internet.
Take a walk.
And so on and so on.
Most of them are doable for hobby projects at home. Some are also suitable for work. Choose appropriately.
But if I am stuck, then continueing to try solve the problem most often keeps me stuck. So doing something else is my solution. So far it worked well.10
I think I may have found the perfect job.
A legend in the industry is taking on a Padewan. I would need to move to California, but for this opportunity, not much I wouldn't do, plus the company he works for is a pretty big name.
Interview Round 1 coming up soon!
Hence the dance begins.10
I smell burnt electronics.... Somewhere. Can't find it. Look, unplug, smell, plug in, look smell, unplug, smell, dance, can't find it.
I need a young priest and an old priest.5
But no...this rant is directed to whomever wrote the fucking JSON parser in Chrome (definitely Trod). And here's why...
In this picture on the left we can see a happy array being happily stored in memory, happily ordered, after being parsed from a fetch request...
And on the right, a quick refresh and a fart of Trod code later...
THE FUCKING ORDER CHANGED!!!
I hope you hear me you troll of a God...BRING IT... I've fixed worse shit than this so let's dance you asshole...
*quietly but graciously leaves to securely wrap head and testicles in tin foil*12
I'm getting married on Friday.
I proposed half a year ago.
What have we done since the proposal?
- Adopted a Cnaani dog with a lot of issues and recovered her from most of them.
- went every Saturday to skydive for the whole day (almost finish the license!)
- moved apartment
- Plan and execute the wedding
- build wedding RSVP and teaser sites
- work full time as developers (me full-stack and she's an automation expert)
- go abroad twice
- I have work on a new startup with a friend (in version two right now)
- I hade my driver license classes
- went to salsa courses twice a week
- built our salsa wedding dance
- I studied Clojure, ruby on rails, Angular 2 and a little bit of React.
So why does it feel I haven't done enough?7
Back in my sysadmin days we had an IT zoo to look after. And I mean it... Linux side was allright, but unix.... Most unices were no longer supported. Some of their vendors' companies were already long gone.
There was a distant corner in our estate known to like 2 people only, both have left the company long ago. And one server in that corner went down. It took 2 days to find any info about the device. And connecting to it looked like:
1 ssh to a jumpbox #1
2 ssh to a jumpbox #2
3 ssh to a dmz jumpbox
4 ssh to an aix workload
5 fire up a vnc server
6 open up a vnc client on my workstation, connect to than vnc server [forgot to mention, all ssh connections had to forward a vnc port to my pc]
7 in vnc viewer, open up a terminal
8 ssh to hp-uxes' jumpbox
9 ssh to the problematic hp-ux
I've noticed something odd lately.. every time I mention mains electricity in certain EE forums, people tend to go "you are a madman for wanting to use that 🤨".
To which I think in my head, sure it's a dangerous thing, after all the angry pixies that dance back and forth are kind of angry (120V) or actually insane (230V) depending on where you live.. but to mindlessly tell people to not use it at all, as an electronics engineer.. what's up with that?
I mean, it's a matter of respecting its power, right. So whenever I work with it, thick gloves, keeping my exposed lines as tiny as possible, keeping them around for as short as possible, properly insulating anything permanent, and even asking my landlord to install a defibrillator for when things still go horribly wrong (to which she agreed because it'd be useful to the other residents as well, yay 😁) are kinda mandatory.
And that's for the same reason essentially that precautions are taken when climbing a mountain by having climbing shoes, connecting yourself to pikes jammed into the mountain over a strong metal wire in case things go wrong, etc etc. And for the same reason that you don't climb a ladder in high heels and so on. Obvious, right.
Point is, inexperienced people indeed shouldn't be working with mains AC at all and that's the reason that I've avoided it in the first year or 2 of learning about electronics. But mindlessly telling people in EE forums that they're a redneck for working with the imminently lethal AC.. what's up with that?
Maybe I should just go find another electronics forum like the EEVblog forums over some random (kinda dead) electronics chat on Telegram though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13
That moment you're 8 beers deep into your program at 4am, so focused and then realized you've been crossing your legs doing the pee pee dance in your chair so you don't piss yourself because your bladder is full and you just say "ok bathroom break after I finish this method, then one more beer."4
The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out2
Are you a dark theme or light theme kind of person?
I've noticed most devs use dark theme. I think it's interesting. I use light theme though because characters dance around on a dark theme for me.21
Guys Quick Question 2 :
Should I Dance like no one is watching
and Encrypt like everyone is ?
Or do the opposite ?3
During a heat wave, the basement is the place to be when you don't have air conditionning.
I got to code in a huge basement (formerly a dance room) with lots of couchs, and a nearby Wifi repeater.
And since it's the basement with no elevator, no one disturb me.9
Being in a semi-professional dance company, and just generally being a dancer from a young age.
Taught me how to deal with constant criticism, to not take it personally, but to use it to my advantage.
I also have no problems with giving presentations since I was used to being on stage, even though I'm a pretty shy person.
Still waiting for the day that super-fast wardrobe changes, and callused point-shoe damaged toes come in handy 🤔3
Prior to becoming a dev, one of my numerous jobs was working at Quiznos. They would often send me outside in the cup costume where I would dance around like a fool.
People would throw things...
What was your pre-dev "career"?12
I just got the question why I'm moving around so much when I'm programming...
How can you NOT move around!? Let me dance, air guitar, air drum and I will perform three times better! It's my zone :-D1
Alright, biiiiig rant time.
Shitty webdevs who randomly use an entire framework for some tiny feature in the middle of their codebase because they couldn't figure out how to do it with native and completely fucking up their syntax, consistency and standards set beforehand (not that there were any to begin with, this dude program's like 3-4 people just jumbled all their crap into one massive pile).
Not only that but throughout the entire backend this guy flip-flops on passing an the error value before results in his callbacks, so now i have to check his functions everytime I use them after spending 2-3 sessions debugging to figure out wtf was going wrong.
Please for the love of god, if you wanna dance to your own beat, LEAVE COMMENTS4
FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS
FUCK YOUR PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS.
FUCK YOU thinking you are the most important site in the universe so of course everyone will remember their password mangled beyond the original intention/recognition by your idiotic requirements!
I want to have an insecure password? MY PROBLEM.
I want to have the same password everywhere so I don't have to go through the idiotic "forgot my password" dance each time I try to login into your page? MY PROBLEM!
You're not the most important site in the universe.
I'm getting seriously fed up with this idea in general.
WHAT THE FUCK. Why did nobody come up with nothing better yet?
And the password storages and autocompletions don't count, that's a plaster on top of idiotic paradigm, nothing else.
...how is there nothing more sensible, still, after 18+ years?5
Stackoverflow launches a new Dance Dance Authentication. https://m.youtube.com/watch/.... Thank god they didn't build a new Framework.😆😆😆3
Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?
- idiots get out of there car and dance with the door open...
- Meh. Ghost riding the whip is old news.
The Kiki fail
- people get out and either fail or get betrayed.
Me: now I’m on board.
Great examples seen so far...
1. Women get out dancing, drops her bag (on purpose) in dancing. A motorcycle comes along and steals her purse.
Me: Great. I hope they get away with it too. I like the criminals more than the idiot in this case.
2. Dude gets out and starts dancing. Driver speeds up. The guy holds on to the car telling him to “STOP!”. He stops, the guy goes head first through the window of the driver (its down) and I assume right on his head.
Me: mmmmm delicious7
Was at a pretty big launch party today. Everyone with developer badges on dance floor had a backpack on 🤔4
Cocktail Development #1 - Codename: Devjito
Hello fellow developers! I was enjoing some sweet selfmade cocktails lately. One of the commentators shouted out for me to "don't stop the cocktail rants!".
But, because I didn't wanted to just "Post random cocktails", I tried to develope my own cocktails. Afterwards I will share my experiences while creating these with you, and of course, the recipe!
So first we got my Experiment: Devjito - A Cocktail for all of you fellow programmers!
What we need:
- 4cl Tequila
- 4cl Wodka
- 4cl Dry Gin
- 4cl White Rum
- 2cl "Grenadine" Syrup
- 2 teaspoons of white sugar
- 8cl of Orangejuice
- Mintleaves(?dunno if right? Me German don't hate)
- Orange for decorational purposes
First get a tall glass, pour the sugar in it, wash the mint and stick it in there.
Get your favourite cocktail shaker, pour all the liquor in it (the Tequile, Wodka, Gin and Rum) + the orangejuice and icecubes. Shake 20 seconds and dance while shaking, also don't forget to try out eating your devRant Stressball (Leave note in comments who gets this reference).
After shaking pure the "semi cocktail" into the glass with the mint and sugar. Get your masher (I guess this is the right word?) and mash your mintleaves with the sugar and the cocktail. Afterwards, fill the glass mostly up with sodawater.
Now the trickey part: to make it look cool, get your Barspoon and the Grenadine Syrup. Stick the spoon in the glass and let syrup slowly flow in the cocktail, this will make the "red shine" shown in the image attached to this rant.
Finally, stick an orange slice on the glass and enjoy!
My Impression: It's a bit stronger than a normal Tequila Sunrise, but better for the people which don't like sour or "liquor only cocktails".
Thanks to @cafecortado and @CoffeeNcode but also the other commentators!
(An image of the ingredients will be attached as comment)
EDIT: @oudalally mentioned it correctly JES it tastes very sweet!8
Stackoverflow has introduced the latest evolution in computer security - Dance Dance Authentication
Who here does a little dance when you’ve been stuck for hours on a stupid bug and manage to fix it?4
1. Music. I am a Metal guy of many colors. So I enjoy "Dimmu Borgir" quite as much as "Amon Amarth", "Man'o'War", "Eskimo Callboy" and "Epica". I am really fond of the latter. But I also like medieval rock and metal like Harpyie or Ignis Fatuu.
2. Music. You may not believe it, but I also like western and country. (Comes from point number 4) My favorites are "High Valley" and "Jack Savoretti"
3. Music. When I owned an Amiga 4000 I made quite a lot of music. Mainly House, Trance, Progressive and Techno. I should pimp my collection of about 20k samples, but just don't find the time. As a software I was a buyer of DigiBooster Pro, nowadays I use MilkyTracker.
4. Line Dance. It is the best and greatest sport for programmers, trust me! 😁 Current favorite dances are "Sweet Hurt", "Dig Your Heels" and "Strong Bounds".
5. "Mass Effect Trilogy" and "Dragon Age Origins". I know more about those four titles than Wikia. 😉6
Freenas update from 11.1 to 11.2 beta 2
They added experimental smb direct / multichannel support, yay.
Me tries to connect to the smb share:
->Connection timed out 🤔
->Connection refused 😐
Google foo ....
->Nope, no connection 😔
"Failed to retrieve list of shares from server"
Reinstalls freenas to be sure it's not some janky install.
Google some more
*Like a year later*
Look into /etc/samba/smb.conf
Client max protocol = NTLM1
Who thought that to be a good Idea!?
It's the default Manjaro smb conf from the official repository by the way.
Didn't even know there was a setting for max client protocol.
Thought it was a server only config.
Nope, some motherfucker trolled me long and hard this time. 😩
But back to getting smb direct working on my setup.
Thunar gvfs is like it's own completely separate thing.
Smb status, and all the other commands don't see any open connections anywhere.
Gvfs still connects fine to the share even though the smb.conf is deleted and everything else is complaining that there is no config.
On the one hand, it uses samba, on the other it's not actually.
Where the heck can I see the connection properties and wether rdma works or not?
Mother trucking, fracking, leg breaking piece of a dance type.1
How do you (not) secure your Rest based web service?
1. Chain it to shady organic authentication system built by a hoard of monkeys high on Tequila.
2. have secret keys that get copy pasted into config flat files, and index them on your code search engine.
3. make the onboarding extremely platform specific that you need 500 environment variables, 50 scripts, 5 fancy device presses and a tap dance to make a GET call to the service.
4. fish through 500 rotating log files that the authentication system generates for each API call made.
5. Leave traces all over the host so if you have to start over, you should sudo rm -rf / and set fire to your computer.
I had to do a double take... Needless to say I can't sign in for shit, fucknows what mental finger dance I did on the shift key when signing up to these guys...
Also: forgotten password is "please type your email, if there's an account associated to this email address we'll fucking email it with password reset instructions"...
Fucking arsehole fucks, I just wanna pay my fucking energy bill.
So I use a TV shows tracking app and for some reason, all the titles of the shows have been replaced by "your mama don't dance". Wtf?5
Day 8 without a laptop and I am losing my mind!!! I am behind on all projects with a review coming up on Saturday!!!!😡
My MacBook fell victim to the flex gate design flaw, costing a fortune to fix. I am getting a surface book instead and it was supposed to arrive today!!!! Now they are saying there’s a delay and I don’t even know when it will arrive!!!!!!! I am losing my mind! Help! 😩 what can I do to pass the time and take my mind off being behind on projects? It hit so bad I started learning to dance from YouTube! I’m tired of reading too!!!! Help! 😰7
Dear Docker for Windows I know you exist to make devs on Windows life easier. But DEAR GOD, with all the firewall/group policy problems..you have been the pain of my existence during this short time developing on Windows.
Literally have a countdown on the time left until I get to no longer do a rain dance for my development environment to work.2
Should I be myself? A tougher question than is seems.
I’ve had major struggles, faced and conquered death, travelled the world, and live with highly functioning Aspergers and much more. Not boasting, just laying the background info.
With all of this it has led me understand, on a fundamental level, difficult truths that most people only understand upon death (if ever at all).
These lessons have had an unspeakable positive impact on my life and the way I approach things.
The problem seems to be that many of these truths are non-transferable, and that the process of even mentioning them makes most people uncomfortable.
I understand though, that the best truths in life are ALWAYS uncomfortable, and that there is great value in this for those who choose to accept it.
But should I risk putting these views into the world in a recorded manner?
This is something I struggle with all the time.
Currently, I do not use social media often (devRant excluded) because it is a cancer. Even when FB came out in high school I knew (without having the words to express it) that it was dangerous and cancerous to real life.
But it is such a powerful tool that it cannot be ignored.
For example. I moved across the country without a job, away from everyone I ever knew, to pursue the goal of starting my own software businesses.
The responses I got to this included...
“Won’t you miss you family and friends?”
“Why don’t you save for a while and go then?”
“Why don’t you look for a job and leave when you get one?”
“Aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
Most these seem like legitimate questions, and because I cared about these people I treated them as legitimate.
But my real opinion is that every one of those questions is based on either weakness, fear or stupidity.
- Of course I will miss my family and friends, why try to guilt me into sacrificing life for this!
- Why not wait for “the right time”, because the right time never comes. That is an excuse for failures to continue failing.
- Why not wait to get a job? Because that won’t happen if your not there! It’s just a fact, get over it!
- You are alone! You can try to fill your life with people and crap but in the end you are born and die alone! I’ve been dead and know this like I know the sun will rise.
But you see all of that above, for most people that stuff hurts. It seems insensitive and cruel.
It hurts because it is true.
That’s just a small sample of things.
The larger question still stand...
Should I be myself?
I really don’t know the answer and don’t expect one to come. Maybe someday I will find a way to do this.
For now I will continue to be what people expect me to be.
To end this I am gonna quote the rapper Pusha T and his new album...
“Remember Will Smith won the first Grammy?”
“And they ain’t even recognize Hova until Annie”
“So I don’t tap dance for the crackers and sing Mammy”
Maybe some day I will be able to stop tap dancing...
I'm hosting dancers for BluesShout! a dance festival in Chicago. Three of the people I'm hosting are developers (two girls, one guy). There are a lot of engineering types that dance. If you haven't done any social dancing, you should really give it a shot. Find a Lindy/Swing, Blues or Contra group and take a class. You might love it. 💃💜3
I'm astounded. I just took a crack at some PHP logic that would be easy for a lot of you but hard for my math-and-logic-challenged brain.
The first time.
I absolutely love dancing and I am quite good at it too. Every minute I'm not working or at uni I probably am dancing.1
Being a trainee and a student over distance while taking part in developer conventions and meetups.
I also read books and tend my pet projects with which I try to dance on the bloody edge.
Also see this:
You can do java program on dance platform, even on beach platform... Because it is platform independent
Me: your SSH wrapper is breaking how Ansible works
Ops: try to use Ansible in another way
Me: your SSH wrapper is breaking how Ansible works
Ops: try to use Ansible in another way
< This goes on for two weeks >
Me: can we please not use wrapper
Ops: we use it to manage ssh keys
Me: this is breaking basic ssh functionality
Ops: OK we are setting up a weird convoluted way so you can run your Ansible playbooks.
Me: ... < doing "it is at least something" dance >
In another country, about to attend a wedding.
Hope the food will be good and that I won't be expected to dance 🤔😅
Guys quick, got some good wedding jokes to use as ice breakers when talking to strangers?3
Yesterday I told an intern that was supposed to be shadowing me that he'll need to download visual studios with apache Cordova plugin for multi platform app design. I gave this assignment to him first thing in the morning (around 9:30 am) and told him to head home for the day thinking I was giving the kid a break to download and make sure the build was proper and to play around with it maybe. I check my inbox this morning to find that, alongside numerous expletives, this intern has quit as of 3:40 AM last night. I... I didn't see that one coming.4
Lol, now I know how quick sort is done for sure.
Quick sort with Hungarian folk dance.1
I wrote like 6 or 7 functions today and havent built the project before leaving so if they all work on monday im deadass gonna do a fortnite dance
I've just seen Shut up and dance from Black Mirror. HOLY SHIT! I really need to get rid of my encrypted "Homework" folder and up my already high security level even more!13
ASP.NET Web Forns?
Can't tell how many times I printed out the page lifecycle diagram for myself or a coworker. So many hours lost trying to figure out which lifecycle hook to use for a specific scenario and then have it all break down because something new was added to the feature. Or figuring when data can be bound, or doing some hack because things break when handling a POST event or some shit.
Overly abstract piece of technological excrement. Might as well express the thing in contemporary dance and check that into source control instead of that ungodly mess.
The switch to AJAX and API calls was such a huge relief it's almost hard to explain in words (I can do a dance tho). And then upgrading to AngularJS, man, worlds apart...
I don't care how much they pay me (okay, you got me...), I'm never touching Web Forms again.
I put on headphones and play soothing ambient noise or epic electronic/dance music or my massive Playlist of favorite songs. Then I'd code through the night when there are no people to take me out of the zone. I go non-stop until the daylight arrives.
Reading through a tutorial / blog post, getting all excited, then realizing it was dated 5 year ago, and with a completely obsolete version of the library you're working with.
Bloggers, tech doc people, and companies (I'm looking at YOU IBM) really need to at least date and version their articles! Please!
Mind you, search engines will happily serve up older code even when you're being specific (and no, I didn't mean "dance studio").
Is it any wonder developers bristle when high level management admonishes them for not "looking for help earlier"?1
We have decent linting on our codebase which covers off code quality and style.
We also have a developer who insists on making code reviews about formatting and spacing rather than functionality even tho we've tried in multiple ways to say:
- our linting covers it, if that's happy we should be (and the rest of the team is)
- it's a waste of time doing it
- it wastes the time of the team reading it
- the noise it generates makes it hard to see any legit comments
I swear to god if I see another comment saying "new line" i will scream.
3 months ago i started as a helpdesk support for a business application. This week i'm promoted as Junior Programmer worked hard for it but it paid off :)
Big party at school coming soon, I'm busy working on my startup, too shy to ask someone out. Fuck, why does it always have to be like that? When I have something important to do, there is ton of other cool stuff elsewhere. I could go, but knowing me I will constantly think about everything I could be doing and how much code I could write. And my fucking annoying shyness. Fuck, even if I like someone so much, I won't tell them because it will destroy our "friendship" and I may loose my dance partner. Flying fuck, why can't one simply change himself.1
I remember we had a computer with windows 95 in the house. It was probably a ibm or something.
I think the first memory i have, is my mom showing me the hampster dance😂
Spent about an hour and a half getting an NPE. Cleaned the project, rebuilt, restarted IntelliJ, danced the ancient code dance... Nothing.
Clicked Run one more time and everything worked. TF was that about? I HATE these types of bugs!!1
Dudes I got an (in my opinion not just and moral) punishment: I have to invent a choreography over a scene of west side story
@QCat told me to base it around dabs and because he is a a cool guy, I will base it around dabs
Any other ideas? I have 25 people to choreograph, and a rivalry to show between two teams
NOW TO THE RANT PART:
WHY THE FUCK does a teacher think that its okay to make me wait 30 minutes?
WHY THE FUCK does a teacher think that just "not having a text book that complies to all my rules" is enough to even punish people
WHY THE FUCK does a teacher make students do his work?
WHY THE FUCK does a teacher think he has the right to force me to answer to the question "what do your parents work as"
WHY THE FUCK does a teacher think that he may interpret ANY of my doings as "mysogenous" (she litterally interpreted my "being a bit sarcastic" as "macho-comportment")
And to all extents: Why does she give me an usb-stick that isnt completely wiped and thus still has some private information (aka a picture of her when she was 8years younger and was eating a weird fruit)4
Anyone uses Tmux and Vim with NON ASCII Right to Left Lang (Persian/Hebrew, ..)? That combination is a shit and gets worse if you enable mouse on vim and tmux. Every insert made screen to dance and characters to tumble. switched to Screen.2
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Hotel Vim
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Vim
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up the Captain,
"Please bring me my wine"
He said, "We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine"
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel Vim
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel Vim
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "1
I don't even really know where to start, so I figure I'll just throw this out there and see where it goes.
My daughter is disabled. She's in sports and dance, but it's taken my wife and I years to find out about the organizations she's now in, and that's mostly through word of mouth. Other families have told us because they've had the years of experience that we didn't. And now we're passing the information on to other less experienced families. And that's a problem that everyone we've talked to agrees upon: there's really no good way of discovering what organizations are out there, and what they can help with.
There exist some sites out there like https://challengedathletes.org/reso... which are really just lists of sites, but really nothing more to indicate that this group has wheelchair basketball, that group has adaptive ballet, that kind of thing. So I'm thinking, what if I built a site that provided an index. Searchable, faceted, like Algolia or AWS Cloudsearch. That part I can do. But how would I go about gathering the information? Could I somehow scrape it? If so, how do I organize it? Do I crowdsource by petitioning /r/disability, the Facebook support groups my family belongs to, and other places across the interwebs?
I can design the data model. I can build the webapp. I can make it fast and pretty and easy to use. But how do I get the data?2
My music tastes can vary a lot, I'm the kind of dude who has no problem listening classical music, rap, metal, 1930's music, electro swing, even some shitty commercial musics from time to time without any trouble.
I'm just leaving a pub in which I was supposed spending the night; going from Motorhead's Ace of Spades to some shitty nobody R'n'B so that plebian can dance to it, all while cranking the volume up is nothing but FUCKING HERESY
Is there a unit test for dance moves? I really gotta see some green lights before I move this one into production. Side note: anyone have a UAT environment for this? Thx3
I want to start development on a scrutineering system for dancing (specifically within South Africa), problem is I have absolutely no clue which language I want to use. I need to cater to multiple OS's while also taking into account that the people using the software will be in areas with no internet, really bad computers, and no tech knowledge. At the moment I am leaning more towards c++ (I am quite comfortable in the language)
Lead developer tells me to hang tight while he works on an issue and investigates.
PM tells me to make more cards for this section and fix it while the lead developer works on the same exact part.
So... I guess I'll go take a 2 hour lunch?1
When the final card is checked off and you realize the past year and a half has been spent making this absolute monster of a service. There really is no better feeling.