Teacher (while teaching about storage mechanisms): What do you use a CD for?
Me: Umm... Change Directory?

Product requirements created by PDM be like

Thought I would share a picture of my boss's wiring job...

Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

Refactoring nested ifs.
I'm not a pro but I despise working with nested ifs. It's hard to debug and read.

If you cant chunk the if using method, i think you can use ifs like this:
If(){return}
If() {return}

Not like this:
If() {
If() {
If() {
}
}
}
😠😠😤🙅😢

Scalability

The future is NOW

Client : How much for the project?
Me : $10,000
Client : I will give you $72.

Yo mama's so fat that if she sat on a binary tree she will convert it into a linked list in O(1) time

alias please="sudo"
please apt-get son

Salary negotiation

Coworker's whiteboard today

So a Redditor decided to inspect element an adult's website. Why am I not surprised

yeeeah, seems legit xD

EDIT: programs like internet xD I'm dying

When you have a programmer girlfriend 😁😁

What is machine learning?

The golden ratio !!!

I need one of these for my server room

My boss asked in a meeting if it is possible to make an algorithm/software without generating bugs.. After that my colleague send me this pic 😂

Heartless

I received this message this morning. Please house What do I reply these newbie scammer? Am laughing here.

Here in our company when you are about to do something really hard or say something clever you get to wear this hat!

And once again, Ikea has saved me a bunch of money!

It's getting pretty serious. :D

Prevention..

Do you spell it github or jithub?

So this person i met on one interview.

// Looking thru my resume

P: so you have put this code on jithub right?

Me: yeah, on github.

... // A moment of silence from him.

So, which one is the correct?

Oh yes I know how it feels.

When the normal cream doesn't do the job...

I've an app idea