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Search - "invention"
Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.
Necessity is the mother of invention3
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." - Mitch Ratcliffe
“Web does not need reactive programming”
“Everybody use PHP now, we don’t need your fancy functional stuff here”
This and other hilarious things I’ve been told through my career, as well as the story of doctor who tried to teach other doctors to wash their hands but lost his sanity because they rejected him, are in my fresh article.
Predictions about internet in the early 2000's:
"This invention will help advancing science, research and access to knowledge and education".
"LINUX IS SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC, FASCIST .."15
Okay guys, this is it!
Today was my final day at my current employer. I am on vacation next week, and will return to my previous employer on January the 2nd.
So I am going back to full time C/C++ coding on Linux. My machines will, once again, all have Gentoo Linux on them, while the servers run Debian. (Or Devuan if I can help it.)
So what have I learned in my 15 months stint as a C++ Qt5 developer on Windows 10 using Visual Studio 2017?
1. VS2017 is the best ever.
Although I am a Linux guy, I have owned all Visual C++/Studio versions since Visual C++ 6 (1999) - if only to use for cross-platform projects in a Windows VM.
2. I love Qt5, even on Windows!
And QtDesigner is a far better tool than I thought. On Linux I rarely had to design GUIs, so I was happily surprised.
3. GUI apps are always inferior to CLI.
Whenever a collegue of mine and me had worked on the same parts in the same libraries, and hit the inevitable merge conflict resolving session, we played a game: Who would push first? Him, with TortoiseGit and BeyondCompare? Or me, with MinTTY and kdiff3?
Surprise! I always won! 😁
4. Only shortly into Application Development for Windows with Visual Studio, I started to miss the fun it is to code on Linux for Linux.
No matter how much I like VS2017, I really miss Code::Blocks!
5. Big software suites (2,792 files) are interesting, but I prefer libraries and frameworks to work on.
For future reference, I'll answer a possible question I may have in the future about Windows 10: What did I use to mod/pimp it?
1. 7+ Taskbar Tweaker
3. Classic Start (Now: Open-Shell-Menu)
Enhanced text editor I like a lot more than notepad++. Aaaand it has a "vim-mode". 👍
Three way diff viewer, that can resolve most merge conflicts on its own. Its keyboard shortcuts (ctrl-1|2|3 ; ctrl-PgDn) let you fly through your files.
8. Link Shell Extensions
Support hard links, symbolic links, junctions and much more right from the explorer via right-click-menu.
Neither as beautiful as Conky, nor as easy to configure or flexible. But it does its job.
Of course this wasn't everything. I also pimped Visual Studio quite heavily. Sam question from my future self: What did I do?
1 AStyle Extension
2 Better Comments
Simple patche to make different comment styles look different. Like obsolete ones being showed striked through, or important ones in bold red and such stuff.
4 Atomineer Pro Documentation
Alright, it is commercial. But there is not another tool that can keep doxygen style comments updated. Without this, you have to do it by hand.
5 Highlight all occurrences of selected word++
Select a word, and all similar get highlighted. VS could do this on its own, but is restricted to keywords.
6 Hot Commands for Visual Studio
This ingenious invention colorizes brackets (aka "Rainbow brackets") and makes their inner space visible on demand. Very useful if you have to deal with complex flows.
Come on! 2018 and Visual Studio still outputs monochromatically?
That's it, folks.
No matter how much fun it will be to do full time Linux C/C++ coding, and reverse engineering of WORM file systems and proprietary containers and databases, the thing I am most looking forward to is quite mundane: I can do what the fuck I want!
Being stuck in a project? No problem, any of my own projects is just a 'git clone' away. (Or fetch/pull more likely... 😜)
Here I am leaving a place where gitlab.com, github.com and sourceforge.net are blocked.
But I will also miss my collegues here. I know it.
Well, part of the game I guess?7
I don’t need productivity.
People are trying to “be productive” to do the work that they find “important”. Nigga you’re just sitting there making cruds for a company that will be gone in a year leaving no trace and making no impact. And if you’re a scientist and you do research you hate only to “push humanity forward”, remember Yablochkov. He invented lightbulb before Edison. Could his invention push humanity further? Yes it could. Was it acknowledged and recognized though? No it wasn’t.
Making an impact and remaining in history is pure luck. There is no universal meaning in what you do as long as you can’t guarantee that YOUR invention WILL make an impact. You can’t guarantee that. But if there is no universal meaning doesn’t mean you can’t introduce it. I bet significant researchers did what they did not because they forced themselves to but because they loved it and couldn’t help it.
Do things because it is important to YOU, not for someone else.
“But that means that I should quit my shitty job now and I can’t do that, if you’re homeless just buy a house, duh”
When I was in the military, I had to deliver draft orders and make sure shitty computers work. The most boring job ever, right? Instead of suffering I invented my own meaning. Draft order template wasn’t specified so I experimented with typography and learned a lot about typefaces, grids and limitations that mass production introduces. I learned about SoE automation to keep computers fresh. I learned the basics of graph theory to find the most efficient route across the city that would include 30-40 flats I should visit. I also learned basics of social engineering to get what I want even from the strictest people imaginable, the military people.
Productivity is a cuck buzzword invented to make you do the work you don’t love. They tell you about “meaning” and how another startup is going to “change the world”. fuck them. Introduce your own meaning and you’ll never need to force yourself again.
And if some manager tells you that “you isn’t productive enough”, answer with “the only thing that isn’t enough here is my paycheck”.10
Java is so fucking stupid. Literally nobody likes Java. Fucking stupid ass language and every app that uses it is laggy and stupid as fuck. Fuck you Oracle. This is why literally nobody uses your cloud platform. Stupid deprecated shit that nobody uses anymore.
Anyone that uses Java is forced to because the software ware literally made 949349 years ago. Java is just such a stupid language and so fucking laggy. NOBODY LIKES JAVA VIRTUAL MACHINE. WHAT A STUPID INVENTION. WHOEVER DID THAT NEEDS TO BE FIRED ASAP. Oracle is such a stupid company. Make something that people actually want to use, because obviously nobody wants to fucking use Java. Nasty ass laggy fucking language.
Yknow, I want to make an android app that I have in my mind for about half a year now and I already tried twice, both with Kotlin and with Java but everytime I try it's just pain and suffering and frustration...
No it's not because of the language, I like Java and I like Kotlin too and I'd say I'm at least decent at Kotlin and really good in Java...
No no.. the issue is the fucking Android SDK and the mix-and-match documentation available online!!!
Every fucking time I want to implement some sort of UI element, user action or a background service and I start googling how to do it It comes with with at least 3 different stack overflow solutions, all of them saying "that way of doing it is deprecated, instead you should X" and looking up the OFFICIAL FUCKING DOCS it will just make me roll up in the corner and cry because of how fucking inconsistent it is and the retarded domain language it uses... fucking transactions for fucking fragments inside fucking activities... because I guess the word "screen"/"view"/"template" or something similar natural just was too mainstream for the all knowing alphabet soup that google is...
And then you start looking up what the fucking difference even is and how to code it up only to find out there's at least 12 other opinions on how fragments should be used and what should be an activity and what should be a damn fragment...
But that's not all, that's just the base... I get a headache even thinking about how the fucking inflating of templates and the entire R. notation works. You want to open a fucking tiny corner menu with the settings options? WELL THEN YOU FUCKING BETTER REMEMBER TO IMPLEMENT IT THROUGH SOME SORT OF EVENT AND INFLATE THE MENU YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH STATIC STRINGS...
AND WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED LIKE 4 NEW FILES TO IMPLEMENT A FUCKING LISTVIEW...
also talking about ListViews... what was wrong with "ListView"... Why do we need a "RecyclerView"... oh right... because the fucks fucked the fuck up and all the legacy components were designed by a monkey and are next to useless! SO WE NEEDED A NEW NAME FOR THE FIXED VERSION, CANT NAME IT LISTVIEW AGAIN... FUCK YOU...
honestly... if I got a dolar for every "what the fuck android" I said during trying to understand that mess I'd be richer by a few hundred...
Look at this piece of shit:
[code in attached image, we could really use a proper Markdown support at least for rants]
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE ENTIRE THING, THAT'S JUST THE *REALLY* UGLY PART...
The fucking nesting... What is it with JS and all the fucking nesting everytime?! It looks like shit.... It reads like shit as well...
WHY, in the name OF FUCK, IS THERE MORE THAN 5 ANDROID FRAMEWORKS and ALL of them... used this FUCKING NOVEL idea of programming using A FUCKING BRACKET WALL
It always looks like:
Fuck the marionette that designed the Android SDK
And deeply future-fuck everyone that makes a new framework following any of these standards, stucks a .js at the end of the name and releases his hairball.js of an invention into the fucking world....
It's a mess... fuck everything android related...14
Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE
I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE
So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.
Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies10
After seeing everyone arguing about coffee on my post yesterday, I thought you guys might like to see my new invention.
I call it "the late man's coffee" for when you don't have enough time to eat breakfast and drink your morning coffee.8
Could someone finally make remote controlled bed that transform to armchair and can ride around the house so I don’t have to get up to grab a beer or open the door....
I want to ride to fridge and get back with some beef jerky without using my muscles.
Damn technology is always aiming for stuff that nobody needs.9
Not here nor in my prior workplace I have seen any prank. And actually I like this a lot. Don't we have enough shit to go through to tease each other with antiquated, stupid tricks that weren't even funny in the century of their invention? Maybe I am just a humorless German,.. but wouldn't that be part of any professional attitude?
h3ll seemed to express a similar thing, but probably she deleted her account. So we are in devrant without hell. May the memes rule like in fezbook-h3ll.7
You know what the best invention is for devs?
It's not JS, not C++, no IDEs, not VIM, not VSCode, not Linux, not Apple, not a computer (🤔).
It's coffee :) hmmmm....2
With the invention of pip every project done with python just fucken angers me. Like mostly nothing fucken works if there is a single .py file in there. You can put your easy-install.sh up your ass if it just ~tries~ to install shit via pip before because IT WONT WORK FUCK THIS SHIT!
STOP USING PYTHON FOR PROJECTS YOU RELEASE PLS CUS SHITS UNREADABLE AND WONT WORK ON MY MACHINE. MAKE ROOM FOR PROJECTS MANAGED BY NPM OR SHIT LIKE THAT WHERE `npm install` ACTUALLY DOES IT'S JOB THANKS I'M ANGRY AF.
WHAT DOES COLLECTING EVEN MEAN AND WHEN IS IT DONE DUDE?!6
The best invention of all time is copy and paste. Can you imagine without copy and paste in your machine/devices? I don't think so...1
Just imagine sicknesses spreading through internet.
I mean real human sicknesses. Of course your laptop can’t generate aids, but hey, did you ever have a song stuck in your head, repeated infinitely? Memes, viral videos, modern pop music, it looks just like perfect delivery mechanisms.
Human brain is flawed and buggy, vulnerable to countless things like optical illusions, uncanny valley, nlp and others. It’s obvious that there is some audiovisual input sequence that may have arbitrary side effects.
We are towards invention of some precisely formed pieces of information that’ll damage your brain forever, maybe drive you insane so there’ll be no way back. Delivered via viral media straight to your brain, destroying it irreversibly.
Be ready to face the future.2
Family support (2 phases)
When I was younger my mom bought me a 486 from the cow spotted company.
I didn't do much development as being kinda isolated in computer land didn't really make that easy to understand / do, but I messed with everything else.
At that time (somewhere near the invention of the wheel) just exposure to computers really gave a huge leg up on getting into tech.
Moving on until MUCH later in life I was working in tech, often with developers, but not in development. That company was acquired by an overseas company, the head of the new company appeared on the white house lawn and Trump said this would be great for America jobs ... so of course they laid a huge number of people off just before the acquisition.
I was kinda done with that corner of the industry, no matter how good you are / who you work for it was an area that just sort of decays in in importance. I'd go visit the developers and they'd share their excess free lunches they got each day.
Then I'd go back to my corner of the offices and read an email about how the quarterly crappy ass pizza party (that maybe cost a couple hundred busks) was called off due to "cost cutting".
By this time I've got a family and kids, and I decide to take a chance at starting a new career and they were kind enough to go along with my "sleep, care for family, school, care for family, code, sleep" lifestyle for a number of months.
And it worked out.
Setting up a mail server is the worst experience I ever had. And whoever took part in the invention of these evil pieces shall get hit by doves, round cubes and get lost in /home/minzkraut/mbox FOREVER!!
A puzzle for you guys(not my invention, so contains bugs):
If a 5-hour candle and a 6-hour candle were lit at the same time, how much time would have to pass before one candle is five times longer than the other?9
Auto-discovery licensing servers are the best invention since sliced bread.
Whenever a product company provides them I just automatically love their product for it.
With unlimited time, I'd put resources into the invention/improvement of a container which can be fed photons and is able to bounce them between mirrors for a long time, like days, and can be released at any time.
With that tech, I would build a delayed choice quantum eraser and set it up so that it produces with many photons an interference pattern or strips pattern by choice, representing a bit of information.
Then i would set up many of those devices in a row so that the results are representing bit strings for arbitrary information.
And I will use this time machine, which can send back information, to win the lottery and other stuff.2
1) A widely used compressing algorithm as my very own invention.
2) Master electrical engineering
3) An universal OS Kernel as my own invention. I will declare war on Linux and Windows
The ability to create something, something useful. Software is the intersection of artistry and invention. Honestly, why do anything else?
Open office architecture is an invention from hell. How can you expect anyone to perform any sort of concentration-demanding work, when some individuals that come here to visit us talk and laugh like if they were attending a party were everyone is either drunk or stoned?4
"Some people say design is about solving problems. Obviously designers solve problems but so do dentists. Design is about cultural invention." - Jack Schulze
i start to believe that cache odd the browser cache is the worst and in the same time most brilliant invention.
because it's a nightmare to serve the right content at times but other time is the perfect escape host for any problem. ;)
void insert(int circularArgument);
Déjà vu? Have we discussed this before? I think the old horse we beat is still laying on the floor.
I really really wanted this to be funnier that it is. It is not. This feels like the moment in Office Space when they tell the old guy that his invention is the worst idea anyone has ever had.1