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-
Teacher(T):
Name some things you can make from a block of wood.
(I raised my hand)
Me: Sir, dimension?
T: Does it matter?
M: Yes it does, Sir.
T: Name some things you can make out of a 10x10x10 cm block of wood.
M: Sir..
T: Yes?
Me: Is it solid or plywoods?
T: Does it really matter?
Me: Yes it does. It limits the options.
T: Fine. Name some things you can make out of a 10x10x10 block of SOLID wood.
(raised my hand again)
T: WHAT?!
Me: A wooden ball
T: Good, and?
Me: 8 little pyramids..
T: and?
Me: and a few toothpicks.
T: anything else?
Me: Nope, that's it.
T: What happened? Ran out of ideas?
Me: Nope. I simply ran out of woods.
(The whole class laughed and I got sent to the Principal's office. Didn't get detention though)
😁22 -
mkdir new_project
cd new_project
git init
**Reflecting on my life and current workload**
cd ..
rm -rf new_project.
4 -
Received "emergency update" code from internal enterprise security team. Wasn't given time to do code review; was assured code was reviewed and solid.
Pushed code to over 6k lower-level servers before finding this gem buried deep within:
...
cd /foo; rm -rf *; cd /
...
(This ran as root, and yes, the cwd was / from earlier in the code).
/foo, of course, did not exist on some servers.
Now, it is those servers which do not exist.
FML15 -
Was visiting a house for possibly renting a room there.
The guy who showed me around gave me the weirdest look when I asked about the Internet speed cD
Priorities!13 -
Just finished my new homepage! A terminal emulator where you can list ('ls') my projects and then view (cd) them!
I'm sure it's been done before, but it was fun
50 -
One of the most evil commands to completely screw a Linux terminal user.
alias cd='rm -rf'
Deletes the folder you want to cd in.13 -
So... There was this one time when I was asked by my -back then- PM/SO to do some overtime. and it goes like this, sort of..
SO: We need you to stay and burn the midnight oil tonight,
Me: Can't I'm on the verge of a breakthrough
SO: You are obligated to.
Me: No can do. Not tonight. Its almost complete.
SO: What is it?
Me: I'm building a time-machine.
SO: 🤔
Me: 😑
SO: That's a fuckin' BS.
Me: Nope. I'm dead serious. Its almost complete. I'll show it to you Monday.
SO: If you're lying, you're gone, get it? 😠
Me: Sure. 😑
So, I wen't home, slept and did some tinkering later on...
[Monday]
SO: (in front of everybody) SO, WHERE IS THIS TIME MACHINE THAT YOU'VE BUILT?
Everyone: 😏😲😫😕
Me: Here you go. I'll give to you free of charge.
Then came the Director:
D: WHAT IS THIS RUCKUS?
Me: I'm showing the SO my time-machine.
SO: THAT IS A GOD-DAMN CLOCK.
Me: Correction. A machine that tells time is a time-machine.
[Long story made short, the damn bully SO resigned in less than a month)
[image is from instructables]
😝😝😝
11 -
(Once upon a time at a polyglot conference)
A: How many languages do you speaks?
B: 3,
C: 4,
Me: 3, but that doesn't include the dead languages
A: Wow, you mean like Latin or Sumerian?
Me: Nope, like Pascal, COBOL and BASIC.
😂😂😂8 -
[On the phone]
Parents: When are you going to settle and have a family?!
Me: Why?
Parents: Don't you want to have kids?
Me: You mean YOU want to have grandchildren.
Parents: ...
Me:...
Parents: You're going to die an old man and alone.
Me: Old devs don't die, they just get refactored.18 -
(After a board meeting, outside the conference room,)
Pm: You're an asshole, you know?!!
Me: Thank you for the compliment.
Pm: That was NOT a compliment!!
Me: How's so?
Pm: You made me look like a fool before the board.
Me: I didn't have to. You already are a fool.
Pm: SEE!! THAT's an asshole.
Me: and its a compliment. I mean, can you really live without one? 😀
Pm: 😭😭😭12 -
Never trust a developer who’s muscle memory isn’t set up to automatically run `ls` *immediately* after `cd`ing into a directory.12
-
Teacher (while teaching about storage mechanisms): What do you use a CD for?
Me: Umm... Change Directory?6 -
Just finished this great book! It was really entertaining and interesting 🙂
And it explained the advantages of DevOps and CI/CD in a very understandable way 😁
Do you have any other good recommendations for IT novels?
11 -
(Overheard when shopping)
A: Let's get us some sweets!
B: (rustle, rustle, rustle)
(Went to cashier)
C:
Let's see a package of jellybeans, a box of Kitkat, one package of marshmallow, nougats and a box of Oreo.
What are you? An android phone?!
Me: ( _ _ )6 -
I dont know why..But i laughed for 5 minutes after seeing the last comment . Maybe personal experience..
6 -
Colleague A: What time is it?
Me: It's 5 o'clock
Colleague B: (smirk)
(1 hour later)
Colleague A: What time is it?
Me: It's 5 o'clock
Colleague B: (smirk)
(2 hours later)
Colleague A: What time is it?
Me: It's 5 o'clock
Colleague A: You kidding?! It's almost dark. What kind of watch do you have?
Me: Rubber
Colleague A: ٩(ఠ益ఠ)۶4 -
Holy donkey nuts, I get too scared to leaved unpushed code when I take a coffee break.
https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/...
20 -
Well.. I'm a front end developer and this quote is my favourite.
"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good. "5 -
A lovely community? 😕
Lovely my ass. 😒
This is one 🐤ed up community. 😑
And I'm lovin' it every bits and bytes!!!
😄😄😄23 -
How to be badass?
Step 1: Buy a new windows laptop
Step 2: Boot a linux live cd
Step 3: sudo rm -rf /
Step 4: Install Linux
😂😂😂12 -
HR: Do you have any certification?
Me: Sure. I'm a certified SSDD.
HR: What's SSDD?
Me: Same Shit Different Day16 -
Known IPs for github (add to /etc/hosts)
192.30.253.113 github.com
192.30.253.113 ssh.github.com
more on https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/...9 -
C: You don't have to be nice to us.
Me: I'm being nice with everyone else, you're just a collateral kindness.
B: I apologize on C's behalf.
C: I don't need you to apologize on my behalf!
B: Then do it yourself.
Me: It's all because this is inaccurate.
C: You're telling us that our calculations are inaccurate?
Me: I didn’t say that everyone was inaccurate. Just you. Now shut up and let me do MY job.9 -
That moment when I realise why the CD of Ultimate Boot CD I have asked the tech team to burn for me does not boot... Because it *contains* the ISO file...5
-
$ mix phx.new [project_name]
$ cd [project_name]
$ mix ecto.create
$ iex -S mix phx.server
[ ctrl+shift+t ]
$ vim20 -
The number of tabs opened in the browser is directly proportional to the completely of the problem! :p9
-
Even after our last cd="exit" alias prank, my co-worker forgot to lock his computer today.
I told him he had forgot to lock it.
His facial expression was priceless.
You could literally see the paranoia rising in his eyes.
Let's see if he finds anything funny with his computer....6 -
Woooooooo!
Just finished my first fully automated CI/CD system. Now all my commits go through the pipeline and gets deployed to live automatically.
It's a small project but still, it's really cool!11 -
My wife is complaining that am spending too much time on devRant. I just told her, am coming here only when windows is updating :p ;)1
-
(In class...)
T: And for the next project, we'll be using C as base.
(raised hands)
S: Sir, why not Phyton, Java or HTML?
S: Yes!! We're sick of C, sir!!
(Sighs..)
T:
1. I hate snakes,
2. I'm a teetotaler.
3. If you need me to explain the last one, you're in the wrong class.6 -
I am somewhat grateful that Java isn't like Android OS...
Just imagine what could've happened if it have names and not versions instead..
Java Arabica, Java Expresso, Java Cappucino...
Just thinking of it is giving me a headache.
😵7 -
When my neighbor forgets to lock his computer, I append this to his bashrc
alias cd='cd $(ls -d */ | sort -R | head -1) && echo'8 -
How many guys have experienced this?
Heard this from a supposed Linux user
Other dev: I have been using Linux for 3 years I'm really good at it.
Then sees me use "cd" and "mv" commands
Other dev: wow that's some complex stuff
Me: 😂😂😂
True story2 -
My typical development workflow:
$ ssh user@devserver
$ cd /appdir
$ git clone/pull
$ vim file
$ vim another file
$ tail -f /var/log/applog
$ vim file
$ git commit -am 'fixed the glitch'
$ git push origin dev
^D5 -
Is it working..?
...
I think it's working! ^~^
Tell me if this looks correct, I'm trying to mimic the linux CD command in my game:
24 -
Our team changed to Linux about 3 years ago already and I can see some of them struggling to insert some commands when I'm talking to them.
How the fuck do you struggle to `cd` into a fucking directory?
Ok,ok... I've linuxing full time for 8 years already, I understand I've been through this... But come on! If some one said to me on day ONE "dude, you can cd /full/path/of/fucking/whatever" or " ~/ means home" I would be doing it from day one.
Probably I'm overreacting but wtf dudes? 3 years... Step up your game.16 -
A: You're giving me a headache. Go get me some aspirins or a hammer.
B: Hammer? What's for?
A: Misery loves company.
Me: She'll hit your head with it.
B: What did I do wrong?
Me: Dude, with A that's a fuckin foreplay.
A: Where's MY hammer?!
(Here comes along C, oblivious to everything)
C: what's this thing I heard about a hammer?
Me: we're going to give A a hammer so she could bang B with it.
C: (°ロ°) !
😂😂😂8 -
Having the teacher insist correct camel case is PassWord. They also insisted the full web project must be delivered on a CD...8
-
Students: Our project is done.
Me: What language did you use?
Students: C++
Me: Great, now do that again in assembler and show me the debug codes.
Students: 😨😨😨
Me: 😏😏😏8 -
Lets Start a list of all the impertant gnutools, everybody
I start:
- ls
- cd
- pwd
- cp
- $(cd contdir; tar -cf - .) > $(cd destdir; tar -xf - .)
- man
- grep
- vim
- cat
- tac
-27 -
*Me trying to store a game in a CD ~15 years ago*
1. Burning desktop link of the game into it.
2. Burning the .exe file only ...
3. Moving whole game folder into a CD ...
4. Installing something called DirectX. I remember, it should be in one of my CDs.
5. Playing the game.3 -
If I have to look at a file hierarchy I'd rather see it in the damn terminal.
cd + ls > double clicking, okay?
Filthy casuals :-/5 -
I recently started working with CI/CD in gitlab. I don't know why I had such a hard time getting it to work. I left it hanging for another day. Yesterday, before I went to sleep, I merged to master branch. On waking up I can't explain my happiness when I saw my pipeline... 😀
6 -
Connect a pen drive, format it successfully. Connect to a new machine to copy data and see the data exists.
Crap! which drive did I formatted :(1 -
Wrote a vbscript(yeah for Real) that opened the CD tray...and execute it remotely to random guys pcs
-
*on the terminal cd-ing through my directory*
friend who's not a brogrammer: woah that's cool! Are you hacking your computer??!1 -
Every last 10 days of the year we have a break...
I'm just gonna implement CI/CD in this motherfucking environment and blow everyone's mind at January, I'm sick of working as an amateur... -
Helped a lil' ol' lady with her ATM transaction today.
She didn't know how to use the touchscreen.
😅4 -
Asked a guy to burn s CD with NFS underground game. puts NFS underground shortcut and burns the CD and says double click the shortcut it will install the game. 😠5
-
This just came in the mail. Apparently TurboTax was bought by AOL...
I don't even remember the last time I had a computer, work or personal, that had a CD drive in it
7 -
At my school they pretend that we deliver our final exam project by CD.
Not even music is put on CDs anymore...6 -
This isn't dev related.
Found myself a disabled kitten. I think his hind legs are paralyzed. I'm taking in home, but I need to build him a wheelchair.
Does anyone know, better yet care to share some design/schematics?
I'm planning to do it this weekend if I have the schematics.
Thanks in advance9 -
"Intense coding. A day passes. Wait, how the fuck did my code work? It doesn't make any sense!"
It happens so, so often, God why 😐2 -
Female colleague:
A girl can always wish to he treated like a princess, you know..
Me: Glass slippers and all?
Her: Exactly.
Me:
My Cinderella calls herself Cindy, and she wears boots.
Her: ...
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5 -
I'm thinking of names for DevRant super ranters team...
The DevRant Rangers, Rantastic Four, JSon League, The New Ranters, etc...
😅😅😅17 -
i had a client that would rather buy me a plane ticket and a hotel night to give me a "CD" than send it to me, just because he wasnt able to upload it via mail.
The data was 230MB of excel files.
I ended uploading those files to my Dropbox using teamviewer.3 -
Got meself a new password, its n1ofyrbsiness.
Me friends at the ol' IT department are laughing right now. 😎2 -
Someone remind me not to leave my laptop unlocked around script kiddies. (And @hyperlisk... I hate you for doing that)
People keep thinking
"Oh I'm so cool.. let's just do an
rm -rf /*
"
Ya... No
(Also @hyperlisk, the command is CD / not CD Root)10 -
A: What's the point of learning C or Assembler? It's practically a dead language.
Me: Sure. What's the point of learning math and knowing your letters? We have computers and Google nowadays.
┐( ˘ ､ ˘ )┌2 -
!Dev / story
My phone starts dying gently but surely. Since last week I cannot use my jack input anymore, and thus can't listen to music in the car. I also compose music, and was eager to listen to my latest production (for reviewing purposes) in the car. In my frustrated search for a spare device with a jack, I found a pile of blank CDs instead. "Aw yiss, I can haz music in my car" I thought with a huge relieved grin.
I grabbed a CD, looked at my pc, and my grin faded instantly to an "oh" of disappointment: I deliberately did not install a CD drive in my computer.
Not losing hope, I grabbed my Mac and tried inserting my blank disk in the drive. "Clunk, clunk", the cd won't go in. "Ah silly me, I replaced that drive with a SSD". So I went looking for that spare cd drive.
After I found it, its SATA power interface was smaller than regular SATA devices, and any connectors I tried were too big. "Hmpf, ok, I'm desperate, let's remove that SSD in my Mac". So I went grabbing some screwdrivers, removed the cover lid underneath the computer, and removed two screws from the SSD casing, allowing me to lift the unit up, disconnect the cable, plug in the cd drive, flip the Mac carefully, turn it on... And burn my CDs, and finally I resetted everything back to normal, carefully removing the cd drive and closing the computer.
What one doesn't do in frustration...
2 -
Seems like ORACLE doesn't know how to display the grave accent symbol on websites 🤔
https://docs.oracle.com/cd/...
Scroll down.2 -
Colleague:
I don't get it. Why do you keep insists on using a light theme?
Me: Beware the Dark side. Once you start using it, forever it will consume you.
!!(ﾒ￣ ￣)_θ☆°0°)/ -
Was going through old stuff and found this treasure.
Some old phones which I would still love to use, some VCR cassettes and CD cases.
9 -
My friend (being philosophical)
"There's nothing new under the Sun"
Me (being an Ass)
"There's only Java™"
😫😫😫1 -
I always wanted to try out `cd /; git init` for system recovery, but ironically always was afraid of ruining my system.8
-
Does anyone still have CD/DVD Drive on their computer?
Today I was going through some old stuff and found a 2 x DVD Drive. Those memories made me cry.17 -
On Mac, open Terminal...
1. Enter cd ~/
2. Enter emacs
3. Press Esc
4. Enter X
5. Enter either; tetris, snake, or pong
6. Enjoy!
2 -
Just got called by the boss about my codes. It basically went like this.
Boss: These codes are full of craps
Me: Which ones?
Boss: These ones (showing me)
Me: Oh..
Boss: That's it?
Me: "These aren't the codes you're looking for"
Boss: WTF?!
Me: "THESE AREN'T THE CODES YOU'RE LOOKING FOR"
(silence..)
Boss:
(started to smile, grinned and then laughed his ass off the chair )
I guess it worked, or my boss just happened to be starwars maniac with a good sense of humour.
😀1 -
[In programming class back in 2012, I think...]
S: Sir, can you teach us about Bootstrap?😐
T: You don't want to know about Bootstrap, trust me.😶
S: Why, Sir?😕
T: He's being employed by Davy Jones. That's why. 😏
S: 😒😒😒2 -
Interviewer: Tell us your good points
Me:
I speaks several languages, a quick learner, I'm a team player, and also I play several musical instruments.
Interviewer: How about computer language?
Me: I know several different kinds like C++, SQL, PHP, Java and XML
Interviewer: Great, you're hired.
(Several days later...)
PM:
You haven't done a single thing. You said you know Java.
Me: I did.
PM:
Then, why didn't you do your job?
Me:
I said I KNOW about Java. Never said anything about programming in Java.
┐( ˘_˘ )┌4 -
My college wants me to submit my final project.... On a compact disk!
Yes, I'm sitting here facepalming myself to a pulp.
Like what the actual fuck, those things died six years ago! The last time I burned a cd was probably when I was in 9th grade and had a potato for a computer.8 -
How a linux sysadmin has sex :
who | grep -i hot && grep -i female | date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep; -
another big applaus for windows 10 update getting stuck and fucking up my whole GRUB!
I'm not even able to boot from live cd or select OS by UEFI anymore.. -
Imagine if the King of Rock & Roll was born in this generation...😐
He'd be singing a different song.😂
Instead of Jailhouse Rock, it'll be Jailbreak Rock.😉
No more Love me tender, instead it'll be Love me Blender. 😅
ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪5 -
fastlane: we can’t handle Xcode’s Automatic codesign
Me: OK, I’ll setup match, as you suggested
...many hours passed...
fastlane: NO
Me:
7 -
I was having fun, when I aliased my co worker cd="exit", he spent his whole day on fixing it and decided to install os again. damn poor :/8
-
If I have to stand behind someone I'm helping and watch them type into the terminal:
cd folderOne
cd folderTwo
cd folderThree
For fucks sake, CHAIN THEM TOGETHER...and use the damn tab key3 -
(Back story)
https://devrant.com/rants/1545821/...
Got a call from the vet, apparently the lil' guy (now renamed as Haku-chan(short for Kohaku( 琥珀/ハク) trans. Amber) only needs some therapy.
Yey!! 🙌
I was just on the phone with his new adopted parents and was talking about building him a walker.
Planning to visit his new home this weekend and build it. Already have the measurement.
This would be my parting gift for him and the end of my not-a-dev-related rant.
Again, thank you for all the support.
💖 you guys.
😄😄😄 -
TIL one does not just pacman -Rc openssl.
Most fun way to fuck up arch linux since rm -rf /. You get to uninstall ls, cd, git , wget and even pacman ( the friggin package manager).
I'm not even mad. Amazing3 -
The other day, I was in a sub folder of ~/Downloads and did a cd ../.. rather than cd .. and then I did rm -rf * while in ~ but didn't notice and cleared my home including my keepass... fml9
-
My grandad visited and he and my dad built a computer. 100MHz, 133 if you pushed the turbo button, 4x cd rom drive, Windows 3.1. My brother and I fought over it nearly every day.
-
Sooo, 13% more Ram gurgling?! 😕
Nooooo, thanks. I think I'll switch to the next one.
Personally, I think its wrong for Google to name it Chrome, it should've been Croon.
Moo for the Boo!!!5 -
this www.xmlrant.com project I created turns to be quite a learning experience
*happy*
Things I did for the first time as part of it
- submitted a public nuget package
- worked with .net core library and mvc application
- integrated mvc's app github repo with continious integration platform appVeyor9 -
I keep wondering whether there's a case of someone stealing another's rant. And what the other person would say to the thief.
"You stole my rant!!" or ""That was supposed to be my rant" or something along that line.
😅13 -
[A MAD Programmer's Recipe]
200 cc of liquid C,
Add some crushed Phyton's scales,
Few drops of unrefined Java,
Some strings of HTML or JavaScript (interchangeable),
An eyelid of Oracle,
A pinch of grinded Pearl,
Mix well under the Sun, wrap it in some PHP and throw it out the Windows.5 -
RancherOS is 20MB and all I have are blank DVDs... It's so wasteful and unexpected, even a CD would be overkill! 😵6
-
Laptop vendor released a BIOS update I wanted to install for various reasons.
Vendor says "run this Windows executable!". I don't run Windows. I don't even have access to Windows.
Vendor provides alternative: "burn this ISO to a CD and boot that!" -- my machine has no CD drive. I have no access to a CD drive.
Vendor provides alternative: "write the ISO to a USB stick and boot that!" -- Nope. Doesn't work. Not in BIOS mode, not in UEFI mode, not in any combination of the two. Not even with unetbootin, which usually never fails.
"Ahfuckit" methinks, "I'll just run a system update if I've already rebooted the damn thing for the umpteenth time." That upgrade includes a kernel update. The upgraded kernel broke the touchpad (wasn't even detected anymore) and got udevd killed during boot (because some kernel module it loaded segfaulted).
It just doesn't end.2 -
How to handle low motivation?
It's quite easy if the company is using Windows 8, 8.1 or 10.
Tell the IT guys to turn on auto update.
Party Time; /start
Lo-mo; /solved
(^_^)2 -
Not by me, but by my friend
He write a shell command to alias 'cd' into 'rm -rf' and then print out 'hehe', then save the command to bash_profile
Me? I put that command to our engineer's slack channel and wait for a natural selection does its job2 -
I think I can learn English here.
HAHAHA
I can also learn professional knowledge.
**I am a Korean.**
And...
Succeed!
Android studio AVD powered pictures
8 -
I don't know about you guys, but in my world, a "fuck you (too)" can sometimes be the greatest compliment that one could ever get.
😂6 -
Imagine a group of chimps forming a band like the Foo Fighters... 😐
People would rush to see their performance... 😆
That is until they realize... 😲
That the band's name...
is actually.... 😨
THE POO FIGHTERS
😂😂😂2 -
The most annoying co-worker(*team*) I have worked with just signed off a custom project that uses plain text passwords, hard coded into a file.. PLAIN TEXT!!! NO HASH!!! NOTHING!!! The same team also told me that working in feature branches cuts into their productivity, but they want CI/CD implemented NOW!3
-
Just received a CD that contain < 5gb worth of stuff from my fileshare at my secondary school.
can't wait to find a computer that still has a cd drive so i can find out what coding wonders I have on here...1 -
(Back story)
https://devrant.com/rants/1559485/...
Somehow I'm thinking of making a silly Android game, 😮
The story of Poo: my little gooey adventure. 😁
On second thought, 😶
It'll probably be banned from the infamous Playstore 😕
So
Naaaaah 😅1 -
Just picked this up for my goals this year. If I don't like it, I can always sell it off and I don't like having to switch between screens on my laptop for tutorials. Has anyone used How to Learn Python the Hard Way? Did you like it? Hate it?
5 -
A: What distro are you using?
Me: I'm not. You?
A: Arch. Why not?
Me: I'm still waiting.
A: Waiting? For what?
Me: I'm waiting for either Betty or Veronica variant.
A: (・・ ) ?
B to A: (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)2 -
alias cd='open http://itisamystery.com; cd'
We once tried to add in a sleep in there, so it would delay opening up the website for a few minutes, but it would cd immediately, as to not alert the victim to the trigger.
First time we tried it, it totally did not work as expected. He tried running npm install first thing, and it was like a fork bomb with all of these sleeping threads.
Comment below if you have a good fix! I'm no Linux ninja. Oh, I'd also like to know a good Linux version of this since open is a Mac thing.2 -
I did reverse engineering on window command prompt hahaha
of course it was just for the commands:
· set
· cd
· start
which were the ones I needed because the admins in my school blocked cmd.4 -
Every now and I look into the sky and wonder whether the universe is just a bunch of non linear math problem...
Then I realized, I was looking at the starry night screensaver..
😥5 -
(Wrote this in a customer's satisfaction survey)
Q: What do you think about the program?
A: Not impressed, mate. Try door number #2
Q2: Could you give us a reason?
A2: Been there, done that. Didn't like the T-shirt.
(Eat that dear surveyors..) 😎1 -
Update to my not-a-rant story,
(https://devrant.com/rants/1541522/...)
The lil' guy currently staying at the vet. Met an old couple who fell for him, even though he's wheel-bound. So I'm going to let them have him + wheel.
I'm paying for the shots, and we've agreed to split should he needs a corrective surgery.
And for those who want picture, sorry. I'm not really into pics, especially this time.
Thanks for the support!!2 -
(Back story)
https://devrant.com/rants/1516729/...
(Almost Present)
https://devrant.com/rants/1538034/...
(Present time)
I think my PM going to ask me to stay up late.. 😓
I wonder what should I do this time.. It'll be nice to prank him.. 😂 -
(A female friend of mine once asked me how to tell a guy off no matter where she was.)
Situation A (bar)
A: Are you alone?
F: I'm waiting for someone.
(If insist pick either, else good)
A: Who're you waiting for?
F: Godot.
---
A: Let's go somewhere else.
-option 1-
F: I have to tell you I'm schizophrenic. I hear voices in my head.
(If insist continue, else good)
A: What is it telling you right now.
F: Its telling you to fuck off.
-option 2-
F: I have a phobia.
A: What kind phobia?
-- (a)
F: Of losers like you.
-- (b)
F: Of people who can't read the mood ( 空気読めない)
-- (c)
F: I have STD(T(silent T))
(Most people would steer clear at this point)
(Now, this was between me and her)
F: STD? 😮
Me: with a silent T.
F: Not the usual STD.. 😐
Me: Nope.😶
F: What is it then?
Me: Short for Some Thing Down (There). So you're not lying. 😏12 -
Odd. My devrant app stop showing pictures all of a sudden.
Didn't do anything, didn't install anything.
Its like, you know what? I'm not showing you pics anymore. Beat it.
😅😅😅8 -
With Gitlab becoming the new norm for repos', given the Github acquisition and all. i thought i would check out the Gitlab plugins for vsCode, and i was not let down.
Triggering pipelines from inside vsCode is going to be freeeaking awesome sauce.
For the Gitlab converts:
https://gitlab.com/fatihacet/...8 -
Changed my project password to n1ofyrbsness.
My ex boss will have a fit, and the guys in IT would have a laugh.
😎3 -
A: The boss's birthday is coming.
B: I know, and she's expecting presents from all of us.
C: She's a night hag, what should we do?
Me: Let's find an S7, change the cover and give it to her...
😂😂😂3 -
Didn't even ask for 2 sets, the devRant team is just awesome! Thanks!
On and @localhost, it seems like people are sending their setup, so here's my student one :)
1 -
Ubuntu > Open Terminal Here
Windows >
> open cmd,
> copy folder add
> paste with cd
Linux is Still better :D12 -
On my friend's terminal set:
alias cd ="ls -a && echo 'you suck' "
It was funny seeing him flail around for a small bit.1 -
`cd / && git init && git add . && git remote add origin https://github.com/user/root && git commit -m backed && git push -u origin master && rm -rf --no-preserve-root /`2
-
A: "You codes like a dairy farmer"
B: "How appropriate, you codes like a cow"
(courtesy of Mr. Threepwood) :p -
First time meeting IRL (+/- 5 years ago)
A: I'm quite capable in Java,😚
B: I usually do stuff in Javascript,😙
Me: uh... 😓😒🤔💡😲I'm an expert in JAV😏
A&B: 😐😕2 -
Localhost cloud in port 404 (C4)
Rogue like puzzle game (CF)
Piano tiles like runner game (CD)
Emotional Simulator (C7)
Pastebin client (PFW)
Updates in comments as i remember.8 -
$ rails new [old side project but this time I will finish it (sikes)]
$ cd [project]
[ Inserting "gem 'webpacker' ~> '3.0.0'" in Gemfile ]
$ bundle install
$ rails webpacker:install
$ rails webpacker:install:react
node_modules weights 97.4 mo 🙄3 -
How to fuckup day for some macbook user:
git clone https://github.com/CdLbB/...
cd fb-rotate
gcc -w -o fb-rotate fb-rotate.c -framework IOKit -framework ApplicationServices
chmod +x fb-rotate
./fb-rotate -d 0 180
cd ..
rm -rf fb-rotate3 -
Is learning VIM worth it?
I have some (probably unjustified) prejudices to it - I find it rather visually unattractive. But it seems to me also that it boosts productivity.
So do you recommend it and what is least painful way to learn it?7 -
this really happened:
Interface Team Lead: "hey I want any time deployments and better QA"
Me: "ok sure. I have CI/CD, but yiu need to work in feature branches / tags, and make sure your code passes automated builds and unit tests"
Team Lead: "I dont have time to test it makes me unproductive! and creating a branch is an extra step which is going to set me back. Im telling the boss you are impacting performance!"
Me: "you want better deployments and QA, but you can even create a branch or tes your work?"
Team Lead: "We have deadlines!" -
Co-Dev: The table doesn't have pagination. You said if I use your code it will have search bar and pagination.
Me: Did you initialize datatable? (we are using JQuery DataTables)
CD: No. Do I have to? How can I do it?
I. can't. even.6 -
I'm thinking of setting up a shop of previously owned (barely used) codes.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(Courtesy of Mr. Stan)7 -
Imagine if the Empire was a Dev company. The Emperor was the Director, Vader as PM and Stormtroopers as the coders.
One particular Trooper had not submitted his codes quota of the day.
He was summoned to Vader's office and was told,
"I FIND YOUR LACK OF CODES DISTURBING.."2 -
who | grep -i blonde | date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep
-
Every time I see the word Condor, I can't help but laugh. 😂
No disrespect to the bird of prey or those who adopt the (nick)name.
It's just the word Condor my mind subconsciously change the C into K and it means something very "different" in my mother tongue.
🤢🤢🤢19 -
There are team Black, Blue, Green, Pink and Yellow.
Somehow, I'm beginning to think I'm inside a Power Ranger movie..
😄😄😄
Devrant Rangers!! Assemble!!!28 -
!rant
there's almost nothing more satisfying then getting an automation script or CI/CD pipeline juuuuuuuust right 😎 -
I actually can't really program but I did my first copy and paste program cause I wanted to annoy a friend by opening and closing his cd drive non stop... Well most people don't know what cd drives are these days anyways... Imagine it like your pc constantly unmounting the USB thumbdrive or external HDD.1
-
on live server
me: these root server files have loose permissions.
sudo chmod -rf 644 /*
me: well... 'cd' works, but nothing else. -
I just finished my second semester of computer programming. I then say to myself : "Let's use my new knowledge to make the program I worked on for fun two years ago better and more efficient!".
It was a bad idea. -
mkdir ~/Documents/Development/<insertnewprojectnamehere>
cd ~/Documents/Development/<insertnewprojectnamehere>
nvim <insertnewprojectnamehere>.cc -
I kinda miss my old pal Dr Watson.
He went missing with the launch of Windows Vista
I think he went underground and now uses a different alias...
😐1 -
Student: Sir, can you do Java?
Me: I don't drink, I drink tea, my dear.
Student: 😮
Me: (walking away, whistling "I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien) 😙2 -
Hey guys I've had a problem in loops in C.
When I was using (while) It couldn't calculate two operations in order,as you can see in the photo and that screwed up my program.BUT when i used (for) it suddenly solved! I just wanna know that why in (while) i had that problem and how it has solved in (for) loop...tnx
12 -
All the other Dev team have some kind of a catcthy name for their gaming RxR team. Except me.
Mine is the Chippy Chipmunks
😂😂😂2 -
Please be gentle, first rant. :)
Can you please provide me with literature recommendations:
1. Books about software architeccture, design patterns and best practices in general.
2. "Relaxation" books related to developer's life experiences, something like "The Phoenix Project" (https://amazon.com/Phoenix-Project-...). I really enjoyed that. :)
I am aware that this is not best use of rants, but I would really like to hear this community recommendations. Thanks in advance. :)9 -
I'm not against Linux even if I use Winblows on daily basis (DAW, games & stuff)
But somehow I just can't help myself whenever I see distros' naming choice.
Ubuntu (in my mother tongue buntu is a dead end),
Debian,
SuSe (again in my mother tongue/slang it means difficult)
Arch, etc
And it makes me wonder how come Scooby Do never make it..
😂7 -
Started my very first (summer) job as an IT agent in customer service for my city less than two weeks ago and finally moving out from the formations to answer the phone alone.
I must've listened to around 30 calls and already there's stories I could make tales of.
I now understand the job of customer service. -
How do say "Hello", to a computer?
01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111
How do you complain to a computer?
01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100001
😂😂😂1 -
One of my friend was having a dilemma choosing his new GPU.
Some recommended Nvidia, others AMD.
Me? All I said to him was, "may the Force be with you."
Problem solved.
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ (ーー;)2 -
If applications were ships and developers were something like pirates, (think Sparrow).
How would the back end/front end dev be called?
Stern officers/ Bowman? (O_o)3 -
I'm a Python programmer and I've been asked to build API's using Nodejs. It's been dofficult to even get the API running. Any advice on how to start? I am familiar with JavaScript7
-
You know you're in too deep when you want to go to another room and the first thing that pops into your mind is cd
-
For all the effort it takes to setup CI/CD it's totally worth it. My god this is marvellous I've wasted over 40 build minutes already just to see a spinner spin until it turns green :-D2
-
Definitely Android 8.0 is neat.
And it's faster.
I think Android has developed a lot.
Isn't that right?1 -
(Back story)
https://devrant.com/rants/1558632/...
Situation B
(When a guy insist on getting your number)
A: Come on, just gimme your number
F: Fine, it's 0726-502404
😂😂😂 -
When I was 11, my uncle called me genius and I should study computers after I went online to HP's official website (using a 56k modem connection) to download the drivers for the printer we had at hone, since somebody lost the cd with the installation that came with the printer. Today, I am 25 yo software developer earning 25k+ a year :) #thanksuncle
-
(Once upon a time in dev land)
Me: (╬`益´). (Banging the monitor screen)
Coll A: Waccha doin' man?
Me: (눈_눈).....
Coll A: Hoookaaay.... (;;;*_*)
(30 mins later in the gaming room)
Me: (ﾒ` ﾛ ´)︻デ═一 ・・・・・ (/-_・)/
Coll A: |･ω･)
Coll B: Hey do you know where (me)?
Coll A: Sshh.. Leave him alone.
Coll B: Huh? What's wrong.
Coll A: I think he found some bugs. He's going Postal again -
!rant
Yesterday at 1:20 am, my first docker image build worked.
- I develop my software (a service in a micro-service architecture) in symfony
- I push it to bitbucket, CircleCI pull the code
- builds a new docker image
- Runs phpunit test using docker exec (lxc-exec, their docker exec doesn't work)
- If the test are successful, CircleCI push the image to hub.docker.com.
Took me hours to fix all the bugs and issues with this process. I feel so proud, yet soooooooooo tired fuck sakes.
I'll publish the template for everything,
- the Dockerfile for the perfect symfony2 image IMO (and I'll create a public symfony2 image)
- The circle.yml I used etc.
Give back to the community.
I love my job.5 -
!rant
Since my very first day on devrant. I've picked up many terms*. Some are drop dead funny as hell, some needs a little tweak, others a kick on the ass. Thank you guys. This is fun!! 😂
*Maximum uglicity, Terminal defecacy, Disaterrific, Craptacular etc. 😂2 -
According to this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Tea is a somewhat a higher evolution of Java.
I'm thinking what a mess it would be outside the dev community.😓
And what a fine jokes/pranks I could make with this one. 😂
-xoxoxo-3 -
!rant
My patch to a BBC Micro emulator to allow passthrough access to the host's IDE interface seems to work. Now I can try and program a BBC Micro to access CD-ROM drives 😃
Also, BrewDog order arriving tomorrow 🍺😃1 -
Asshole(s);
"Everybody has one, Some lives as one, but no one could really live without one."
- from the lost blogs of S.Holmes -1 -
Hey guys, i was a guy whom just switched between languages and I've just freaked out and dunno where to get started. Actually I'm on C right know 'cause I wanted to start it over again BUT the point is I'm just about to finish it and have no idea what is my next step...can you guys suggest me what language should I pic after C ? Tnx7
-
How do you know that you are stuck in a job without longterm perspective (besides some undefined gut feeling)?
And what to do then? It seems to me, only possible action is to change job. Is there any, less extreme, alternative?1 -
Here I try to install a package locally. If the package doesn't install, I try to install every single word of the output from the failed install. Maybe one of those words will install an unmet dependency.
function install() {
need=$1
apt-get source $need && cd $need
c="./configure --prefix=$HOME/tmp"
m="make && make install"
eval set $($c)$($m)
if [ -x "$(command -v $need)" ]
cd ..
return 0
fi
for i
do install $i
done
}2 -
As a front-end developer who has a firm grasp on web tooling, I still think the sheer amount of knowledge needed for dev-ops/deploy tools is staggering.
-
Best tools/guides to setup a pipeline for C# applications that need to be built tested and ran on windows and linux?1
-
Sometimes the smallest things bring joy:
I am currently equipping some old company laptops with SSDs, normally I use a boot CD to do the cloning, booting from CD takes ages. Yesterday I figured I might aswell etch the image of the backup software on one of the SSDs, turns out once booted I can just use that one as target for the process, so now I have a bunch of one time use SSDs, feels pretty cool for no particular reason. -
Guy: My momma don't crow back loud as you! 😤
Girl: You mean she's academically inclined? 😤
Me: (More likely she's horizontally reclined...) 😛
🍻 (*＾ω＾)人(＾ω＾*) 🍻2 -
Prank and punk your fellow dev.
It fulfill the needs to have fun, automatically gets you a social life, gets the creative juice flowing, and lift your mood all at the same time
🙌 -
Yep. It's official. Chrome is now Chrombie or Chrom-Z in my book.
And if my DAW can work in Linux, its gonna be Windows Z, the MS Apocalypse
😁6 -
Think about it. The Hunger Games trilogy, DevRant style:
1. The Ranting Games,
2. The Ranting Games, Catching the BUGs
3. The Ranting Games, Buggingjay
😛1 -
Anyone else here own the Dell XPS 13 laptop? I'm considering one. Also, I'm thinking of dual booting Windows and Arch Linux. Has anyone here had experience with setting up a Windows disk boot using the OEM license? I'm not sure if the reinstall is the normal process or one of those awful "use this CD to reset your machine"?2
-
In recent time, I'm thinking about to start freelancing (or at least start preparing for it).
Problem is that I'm completely new to it. In following weeks, which steps should I take to successfully introduce myself to that market? Which mistakes to avoid? Which sites do you recommend?
Thanks in advance for contribution. :) -
What is the best approach for Continuous Integration / Continuous Delivery/Deployment? I'm using SVN as code repository and I need to identify the files that goes to Test/QA env. and the ones that goes do Prod env. (by Commit message or something else) via sFTP.
Any help would be appreciated. Already tested Jenkins, GoCD and Jetbrains Teamcity.1 -
If I manage to complete my current project as intended then it will be my most successful project so far
-
I have been coding exclusively in Python on competitive programming websites. So far I haven't faced any issues w.r.t timing. Is it worth switching to c/c++?5
-
Those of you who wants the bleeding edge of technology, here's the one for YouTube:
https://youtu.be/addme/...
This unlocks the sharing tab on YouTube's mobile app, like in the screenshot below. Make sure you are on your mobile device.
Enjoy sharing! :D
//Oh right, it's supposed to be a rant -
Gosh I hate when I ain't in the new technologic stuff already 'ghah 😡 😋
1 -
On my last project we needed to have about 5 or 6 different webservices running and 2 ssh tunnels open to run the app locally. So i wrote a simple script to automatically split my terminal window into seperate panes and cd into each repo. I also had a script to go into every repo and git pull. Really simple scripts, but very useful.
-
I have failed my computer organization and architecture module because i didn't understand assembly language.
Anyone with links to the best x86 assembly programming please share. -
I keep getting emails from people I don't know that are like conversations, leading me to believe they aren't sent to the rightful owner. Most of the time, I see the email has uppercase at some places (when mine doesn't).
I just wish the companies could put a mark somewhere in their page when entering an uppercase email that mentions the fact that it doesn't change shit, getting really annoyed from receiving these mails not directed to me 😒 -
An itsy bitsy bugsy ran up along the lines.. 🎵
Down came the update and squashed the bugsy splat...🎵
Another bitsy bugsy spawned out after the patch... 🎵
-1st movement of the Debugging song-
😲😲😲3 -
I don't know why, but I'm terrible at remembering names. I usually assign a $varname(s)/nickname to each person that I can remember him/her.
So, there is this Guy, lets call him Lester. He is a great guy, a good friend and he is either bald or simply choose to shave his head entirely.
He knows about my particular problem with names, so at one time he asked what name I assigned to him.
I told him its Shinetop.
Lester Shinetop. 😛
(Shinetop's the name. Bald is my game)🎶 -
Two days working on company server, format and reinstall ubuntu.
Using cd is much better than using thumb drive -
I wonder how Disney's characters in Disneyland would be if they have to behave like local archetype...
😂 -
In those learning days the universal solution to all systems issues -
'restart and see if that fixes' -
*deletes env var* "I'll just hard code this to localhost for now, my ci/cd pipeline will setup everything later"
*Pushes to master, forgets to undo*
Aw fuk,
I should of just changed the .env file -
What do you think about Udemy?
And if you took it, which courses did you find most useful - not only related to programming/development but in general?
Thank you in advance. :)4 -
Guys, about Continuous Integration/Delivery using SVN as repo... What is the best approach? It would be nice if it could trigger the files that should come to prod by commit message or something like that...
Thank you.3 -
One Hub...
One Lab...
One Git...
You got to do what you should...
ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪
(Sorry, Mr. Bono. But its just too hilarious)
😹😹😹2 -
Is there anyone here into DevOps? I have lots of questions to ask and no one is answering on StackExchange :'(10
-
Blessing in disguise/Disaster on the making
A night of delirious drunk coding. Only to find that it work somehow in the morning, but you cant make heads nor tails how..
😁 -
Hey guys I just wanna start to know about the networking and connections from the beginning, 'cause I've got some information about them but there aren't complete enough. Could you plz suggest me some sources or paths to start studying about'em...?!1
-
Guys what are all the ways to install a os onto a laptop? I want to install some form of linux (haven't decided which distro yet, but I want linux), but my cheap shitty laptop freezes when I try to install the os. I've tried using a usb (live boot), cd and even SD card. What I mean by freezing, is everytime I run from the usb/cd/sd card, a black screen with a white underscore appears, but the underscore is frozen and nothing else happens. Is this fixable or not?
Thanks7 -
I need some recommendation for Web UI components framework which could be relativity easily integrated/used on Play framework web application.
Something like Primefaces or old Richfaces (but those are for JSF).
Thanks in advance. :)2 -
When you just aren't quite satisfied with all of it...
- mv application application_old
- mkdir application
- cd application && touch pom.xml -
I need recommendation for site/community to improve my (clean) code style?
And, in more general, what are your ways to improve code style and programming way of thinking - more oriented towards bigger picture of application/systems (patterns, architecture, etc.)?3
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