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Skillsburying negative emotions, ruminating, repeating mistakes
Joined devRant on 4/18/2020
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This is what f*ckin' grinds my gears to the max...
Today a family member asked me to help them with online banking so I agreed because they are really not computer literate.
I don't use the bank they use so the whole online banking website interface was new to me and I had to figure out where some things were.
The family member that I was helping was getting really annoyed because it was taking long (by the way it took me less than 15 min to finish helping them).
As I was assisting them the f*ckin' idiot had the nerve to tell me, and I quote, "I thought you were good in IT. You can't even assist me with online banking".
Honestly, WTF?!?!?! 😡😡
How does one even respond to such...
Anyways... This is just one simple example regardless of what field you are in IT, you NEED to be good with whatever tech gets thrown at you.
So irritating....😡😣15 -
Guys, I am studying for my Master's degree but I am wondering if I should stop.... I mean... isn't that racist?12
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Woke up at 5am with the realization that I could use regular expressions to parse the string representation of regular expressions to build this program to parse regular expressions into more human-readable English.
I am so tired.7 -
*looks at data in database*
This float column seems wierd. The fractional parts are never above .59
*reality sets in*
Wtf the previous devs encoded whole minutes as hundredths. 1.25 = 1h 25 minutes.
Fuck me...no wonder the numbers weren't adding up correctly.7 -
I turned a 20 hour per month task into a 150ms database query.
I feel like a fucking super hero.
FYI my super hero name is ThreadPool (see past rant)5 -
Hey, guys!
I'm new here and I want to introduce myself and meet you too.
My name is Mariana, I'm 21 years old and I live in Brasilia, capital of Brazil.
I'm a beginer in the world of development and I joined on this community to know more about this world. I am currently studying js, react and react native, but I am passionate about database, in the future I want to work with data science.
And you? Feel free to introduce yourself too! :)
14 -
I was asked to present a code I wrote previously. This was not planned. I shared my screen and presented. Things went well.
One employee asked me to search a particular term which was possibly related to an advance topic in the domain we were working on.
I opened Chrome and the first page had a Quora post: "Why my dull co-workers try to act smart and are not yet fired?".
[silence]3 -
Mute your fucking microphones if you have nothing to say. Nobody wants to hear you breathing, your dog, a police car or whatever.16
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Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”
Me: “Yes, of course.”
Boss: “Great, thank you.”
Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”
Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”
Me: “Monday”.17 -
I started using duckduckgo about ten years ago and have evangelized it ever since, including on devrant, but I think I've just about had it with it. Let me explain.
I was more than happy to accept the less-than-google results for standard searches, because I could force the site to only show me results that matched an exact string if I put quotes around it, or force the results to include or exclude results with words with minus or plus characters before them.
But that's all gone now. Now, plus just means, "show me more results with this word," and minus means, "show me fewer results with this word." Wrapping a string in quotes doesn't mean you require anything exact anymore. The name of the game with DDG now is the same as Google: engagement. Narrowed results or fewer results means less chance of clickthroughs, and you can't sell ads that way.
For normal searches, I'm off duckduckgo. It makes me sad.
Let me clarify though that DDG's bang searches are still fully functional, and are still an absolutely indispensable part of my workflow. I use them well over a hundred times a day, every day. I updated my rofi script for web searches to use qwant, but still go to DDG if the search string begins with a bang.5 -
Started work: 9:30am
Finished work: 9:30pm
Finally finished my "basically done" ticket from two days ago, though I'm still not sure if it's behaving correctly. It deals with the Apple wallet and iPhone notifications, and all I have is an emulator, so. 😕 Things work as expected maybe half the time? and idfk why. I'm going to leave the actual testing to QA since they have actual iPhones and it'll run on staging on actual servers with actual connectivity and actual pushes, so maybe then things will actually make sense. Until then? So done.
Started drinking: 9:30pm
Finished drinking: TBD
<media lyrics="I don't know what the fuck just happened but I don't really care, imma get the fuck up outta here. Fuck this shit i'm out" />rant so tired 12 hour day forgot to eat lunch "easy" ticket so done vodka is dinner right? tired forgot to eat dinner1 -
Favourite code editor?
Hands down, it’s actually Vim.
It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to exit it though. Actually it’s the only reason. I’m stuck. Someone please send help.9 -
Fuck. You know you have overslept when you wake up and reach for your phone to check the time only to realise you aren't reaching for your phone, but instead you've fallen back asleep and are dreaming about reaching for your phone.
Just happened 3 times in a row to me -.-2 -
Client presentation. Analyst is working from home. She stands up for a split second and reveals she is not wearing pants.16
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Co-worker presented her work by sharing her screen. She forgot to unshare.
She proceeded to open Chrome and search: "Can I sue co-worker if I get coronavirus because he coughed?"
Another employee said: "Your screen is showing" :/13 -
Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.
Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.14 -
Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.
"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"
"Uh... look at my beard"
"What"
"Just look at this beard!"
"Uh.... OK"
"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"
"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"
"You don't have to lie"
She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.
"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"
"Yeah"
"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."
She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"
Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."
Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.
Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"
"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"
Joanna: "No I already took care of it"
"How?"
"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"
Me: "I do miss shaving though"68 -
What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue.
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.
User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?
Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?
User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.
User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue49 -
Fucking fuck you fucking fucked up fuckery.
I got fired and signed mortgage at the same day. Well looks like next two months going to be fun.
Time to get drunk.20 -
My 10 month old foster-son just claimed my rubber duck as his own. Now I'm going to have to walk through my debugs with both of them!1
