Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

Write once ... works forever
Write once ... get paid forever
The new GIG !!!

Grumpy looking Tux on Amazon 😀

Source: https://amazon.com/Funny-Linux-Coff...

Went with a cousin to hospital for vaccination .I took a pen and wrote: "Anti-Virus database updated 09.01.2017" . Now I am not allowed to stay with my cousin :(

I just spent 5 minutes trying to fix an error saying that I am missing a ";".

I saw a ; at the end of statement but I kept on getting the error.

After cleaning the monitor the ; disappeared and I was able to see the problem.

Clean your monitor once in a while.

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Submitted my first pull request to an open source project, the iOS Wikipedia app!

I would say world peace, but that's had unlimited money and time into it and still failing, so I'll go for a sentient robot unicorn.

Android app update available! I wonder what they've changed? 🤔

Changelog: "We improved the app and made it better."

Well thanks. 🖕

Some do drugs, others drink, some others smoke. I debug code.

Everybody die their own way.

Life is like git...
Think before you commit

"I don't need a separate drive for backups"

fuck you html & css, i hate you 😡

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

Bye OSX....hello Ubuntu

git reset --hard 2015

I just got a mail from a software company in Denmark that they wanted to hire, because they "analyzed my open source GitHub contributions" and they think I'd be a good Backend Engineer using Java.

What they don't seem to realise is that the only thing I use GitHub for is college projects and 2 Minecraft mods, that I'm only 17 years old and not really in a position to move from the Netherlands to Denmark...

Let's make a JavaScript framework and call it Vanilla.js just to fuck with everybody.

I have to confess something.

I am enjoying fixing stuff from friends and family.

Worst part is cleaning other's shit

Haven't seen a JS framework in a while? Well say no more, I just created a framework to make sure the flow is ongoing:
https://github.com/tahnik/...

Enjoy!

Worst part of being a Dev when someone else prepare estimates for your tasks.

2b || !2b

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

I got my reward stress ball about a week ago, but it vanished within minutes of opening the package 😧

Today I found out who had taken it.

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

Worst part of being a dev? Thinking up of commit messages.

We love to code
But we don't love what we code

That's deep.

Worst part: being everyone else's Search Bitch. Seriously, how the hell do you have a job in the tech industry when you can't use a fucking search engine, whether it's Google, a builtin search facility or, hell, scrolling down the goddamn page?

Worst part about being a dev is dealing with other people's bugs, especially when they don't care.