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Psuedo rant/suggestion:
Too long? DON'T FUCKING READ IT DIPSHIT
Yello there ya fucks!
Since we're facing a real community issue here with the slow phasing out of the primal nude and aggressive developers and the entry/takeover by 9 year old kids who claim to be developers cause they can relate to some random meme. (CHROME TAKES TOO MUCH RAM, GOOGLE IS GONNA RAPE ALL OF US, WINDOWS IS SHIT, WINDOWS IS DA BEST) memes I'm looking at you.
I propose we come with an open balls high passive aggressive competition to recommend "free" suggestions to this platform.
My very intellect deprived free suggestion :
1. We're here to rant, so by default classify all posts as fucking dried up 10 year old yellow cum sauce that's stuck to your leg cause you didn't pay your electricity bill in your mom's basement and couldn't see where you let your jizz out jokes.
(TL;DR EVERYTHING IS A JOKE, YES YOUR LIFE INCLUDED UNLESS:)
Basically, ignore any crap that has
A. Pictures
B. Less than 69 cuss words *giggles, sorry* (number is subject to change)
C. LESS THAN 100 CAPITAL LETTERS.
The others may enter the rant territory.
RANKS MAY BE PROVIDED TO SUPPORTERS AND RANTERS BASED ON THEIR LANGUAGE.
(yeah I'm not kiddin but I'd be surprised af if this actually happened) #intellectdeprivedshizzadvice
#fuckhashtagsandmyselfplease
YOU MAY LEAVE FURTHER SUGGESTIONS WITH A #DRCHANGE Tag (another fucking hash tag God fucking damn it)
DICKS OUT EVERYONE, LET'S MAKE IT OR BREAK IT. WE'RE DEVELOPERS HERE NOT PALE BALLED FAGGOTS. LADIES I'M LOOKING AT YOU! (jk)
(*not implying anything offensive to faggots, well that works doesn't it? I can call someone a bitch and say no offense. So I guess I'll say it too "no offense?") [I have a feeling imma regret this very much]
That aside, should I apologize for the weird ass fucked up language I used? NO fuck you little cunty dipshits who find this offensive.
People like you are the reason cyber bullying fucking exists, God! Actually no cause I'm fucking agnostic. I pray to black holes. Yes. So black hole! *cough* sorry
{I'm a little sleepy headed so excuse me inadequate expression skills and my vocabulary, I shall sleep for 2 days now. I'm prolly gonna wake up and create a new account without thinking much, this is basically account suicide what I did here. Well if it works hurray?}66 -
Oh boy its actually embarassing...
I was in a cosplay event, when I realized I only have 30 minutes till I check in for my first day in the job as a support agent.
I never had the time to change because of traffic and I was commuting so I spent the next 9 hours in side the company premises wearing a japanese schoolgirl uniform.
...I got quite everyone's attention, even the HR... ( well at least the HR just reprimanded me about that >_<)
Note to self: remember to give yourself 30 minutes more of allowance....31 -
A very experienced PM/WebDev came to us. His resume was fantastic but a bit strange. He wrote he had been working for 15 years but his experience in C# was 18 years. Though I was sceptical about this guy, others expected him to be a .NET guru. So, the interview began. The candidate described his brilliant career, then he said he wanted to move forward as a programmer and work with the newest technologies. It wasn't easy to ask him basic questions but they were in the list, so we needed to start with questions for juniors. I asked him to tell us about value types and reference types, and the answer was: about what? I repeated the question, and he said he didn't know about such complex things. I knew his resume was strange but I was disappointed. It turned out that our candidate didn't know C# at all.6
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Recently I left my partner and, as a result, his house with my workspace. So, I rented a small house and now I have a temporary setup on the kitchen table. Of course I brought the cats with me.6
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Worst dev I've interviewed?
"Archie" ran his own consulting business for almost 20 years. Prior to his interview, Archie sent HR (to send to us) his company's website, where he had samples of code for us to review (which was not bad, this guy did know his stuff).
What I found odd was Archie was the lone wolf at his company, but everything I found about him (the about page, his bio, etc), Archie was referred to as 'Mr. Archie Brown'.
Ex. 'Mr. Archie Brown began his humble career and 'Mr. Archie Brown is active in his church and volunteers his time in many charities ...'
Odd to refer to yourself in the third person on your own site, but OK, I like putting hot sauce on my mac & cheese (no judgement here).
Then the interview..standard stuff, then..
Me: "Given your experience, this is an entry level developer position. Do you feel the work would be challenging enough for you?"
Archie: "Yes, Mr. Archie Brown would have no problem starting at bottom. You see ..."
Almost any time he would reference himself, instead of 'me' or 'I', he would say 'Mr. Archie Brown'. As the interview continued, the ego and self-importance grew and grew.
My interview partner wanted to be done by using the escape clause, "PaperTrail, I'm good, do you have any questions?"
Yes, yes I do. I was having too much fun listening to this guy ramble on about himself. I made the interview go the full hour with the majority of time 'Archie' telling us how great he is.
The icing on the cake was my partner caught his gold cuff-links and tie-pin where his initials and how he kept raising his hands and playing with his tie to show us (which I totally missed, then was like "oh yea, that was weird")
After the interview, talking with HR:
HR-Jake: "How did it go?"
John: "Terrible. One of the worst. We would have been done in 10 minutes if PaperTrail didn't keep asking questions."
Me: "Are you kidding!? I had the best time ever. I wish I could have stayed longer."
HR-Jake: "Really? This guy was so full of himself I wasn't sure to even schedule with you guys. With his experience, I thought it deserved at least a round with you two. You think we should give him a chance?"
Me: "Hell no. Never in a million years, no. I never in my whole life met anyone with such a big ego. I mean, he kept referring to himself in the third person. Who does that?"
HR-Jake: "Whew!...yea, he did that in the phone interview too. It was a red flag for us as well."
Couple of weeks later I ran into HR-Jake in the break room.
HR-Jake: "Remember Mr. Archie Brown?"
Me: "To my dying day, I will never forget Mr. Archie Brown."
HR-Jake: "I called him later that day to tell him the good news and he accused me of being a racist. If we didn't give him the job, he was getting a lawyer and sue us for discrimination."
Me: "What the frack!"
HR-Jake: "Yep, and guess what? Got a letter from his lawyer today. I don't think a case will come in front of a judge, but if you have any notes from the interview, I'll need them."
Me: "What are we going to do?"
HR-Jake: "Play the waiting game between lawyers. We're pretty sure he'll run out of money before we do."
After about 6 months, and a theft conviction (that story made the local paper), Mr. Archie Brooks dropped his case (or his lawyers did).23 -
Don't really have one but I've git to say that I find it rather cool that Linus Torvalds thought "fuck it, we need an open Unix alternative" and that a very big potion of the world runs on the kernel he wrote for a big part, now.6
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Client asks for redesign to look more like XYZ site.
I deliver a redesign to look more like XYZ site.
Client wants the site to look more like his old site. But different. Gives extensive instructions on how to design his website to his liking.
At some point, I think I'll be owing him money for his design/dev services, not the other way around.
What is it with these people?5 -
I just finished my thesis defense, one of the committee members obliterated me with incredibly difficult questions but it was so much fun to respond to this 40min smackdown after presenting all my work in 50 minutes. The battle has been won ladies and gentlemen, I am incredibly happy.13
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It depends! if u want the framework to be God then use Django, but if you want to be the God, then use Flask(but make sure you're a real God)15
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I would ask the question of how hard can life get but last time i asked that, life showed me how hard can life get and that was just the tip of the iceberg
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Thank you to all the mentors out there! My mentor has the patience of a saint and really helps me understanding everything much better.
You guys help more than you realize!1 -
I guess my best AHHA moment was back when I learned that good code is simple code.
When I started out I wanted to prove myself by showing of how good of a programmer I was(and which I retrospectively wasn't) , which basically meant to use every high level concept I was aware of whenever possible. Multi threading where linear execution would have been totally okay, polymorphism with x meta classes where a switch would have been enough, all that shit.
It wasn't until I had to guide the first person through that mess of useless ego stroking that I found out how much time and money I wasted by not going with the easiest approach that solves the problem.
Took me some time to fully lay off that attitude but it surely was one of the most influential moments of my career.6 -
I know this is SO original, but I like Linus Torvalds best. I love that he created Linux originally just as his own little project, and now..I'm sure you all know how big it is.
He also created git, basically because he was tired of the version control systems that were already out there. Just "oh this is shit, I'm gonna write my own", and if I remember correctly, within a few weeks he had the first functional version of git.
Plus the man says that he names all his projects after himself, I think that's pretty damn funny.