Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

My preferred BBS board has been down for a week. I'm starting to worry it might not come back up. I NEED TO READ DOVENET, DAMMIT!

;-;

rofl 🤣

40% of AI start ups don't use AI.

1. The quality of the coffee and toilet paper you encounter during an interview tells you more than promises about table tennis or fruit baskets.

2. Try to determine who their primary client is: subscribers, app buyers, advertisers, etc. It's a major influence on the company dynamic.

3. Before an interview, you can just say: "I would like to sit down with a PO and run through one backlog feature and one bug, to get a feel for the type of tasks at the company". Such an activity immediately reveals team structure, whether they have product owners & scrum masters, what a sprint looks like, how they prioritize tasks, and how organized/chaotic your work experience will be.

Kenyans lost these great devs in a terror attack. A moment of silence

My basis path set does not include this one...

So a friend of mine ran a Tor Exit node at home for a few month.
He upgraded to gigabit so he was able to push 950Mbit/s quite nicely. He has the oldest Tor Relay (11 years) and was the 2nd fastest exit node.

But he was sadly forced to remove the exit policy, because the police and some other government agencies knocked on his door today.

My college made a meme and watermarked it. I didn't need this cringe this early in the semester.

That's it. A year just passed, and here i am sitting in my dorm, watching from my window all those fireworks blazing, exploding, dazzling the sky.

I got no one to party. No one accompanying me.

That's all. Happy new year all!

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

😂😂😂😂

merry xmas. A xmas tree made with switchs.

In lame man terms..!

I've decided that my 2019 will start from February 1st. January is a free trial month.

Sounds like my coding style

Simple flowchart XD

Well, that’s one way to stop someone from harassing you online. But damn....

— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

This is inevitable ...

A coworker of mine has made hash brownies...

Optimisation found it's doom!

Never forget...

I felt for playing minecraft again...

Welcome to join me at mc.linux.pizza :P

Drug dealer : yo, you code right?

Me: yeah, why

Drug dealer: can you hack into the police station.. You know, see if they are checking me out.. If they know I'm dealing.. I'll just move

(I've never hacked but I know i could learn if I have to)

Me:... That's actually brilliant

I love in a small town at the moment.. I bet the police security is a joke

Kinda high risk though

Lol, prob repost but funny anyway.

A really sad story.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hahahaha

When people ask me whats the difference

Mobile (Android/iOS) gaming has such potential but publishers keep pushing out mindless garbage. What's the point of getting a gaming phone only to spend your time playing gatcha games?