This is gonna be close...

Interviewer: "I checked your Github, your side projects look very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies."

Me: "other hobbies?"

Kids, dont try this at home.

[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *CLICK*

A.K.A terminal russian roulette.

write regex without google

If I don't have any weird co-worker, does it mean I'm that weird co-worker? :/

worst interview was about 2 years ago. I found this job as on a famous website, I applied for a desktop dev. position...the job seemed really easy, after 10 minutes the so-called CTO asked me:" how much do you know C hash?" me:"what?" him:"C hash...the Microsoft programming language" I thanked him for his time and went home crying ( he meant c# )...after a month I found out the company had gone bankrupt...I think I know why..

Permission denied (publickey).

(That's my life while learning how to harden security on a server and then locking myself out.)

Once worked for a guy who lectured me in front of the whole office because I didn't continued work at home after I stayed 3h unpaid overtime at the office.
I quit soon after that.

Coolest project: I once worked for a customer who hosted an exhibition for a few thousand visitors in a big event arena in Stockholm.

They didn't want to use the existing ticket reading system on the arena so I had to build my own application compatible with barcode scanners (they said this about one week before the event).

It wasn't a complicated application to dev but with the tight deadline and no time to actually stress test it, it was the coolest thing to see hundreds of people streaming through the ticket station flawlessly.

Day 2 of the event I built a simple web application so I could see the flow rate of read tickets while I sat in the arena pub with a beer.

He wanted to create a 4000 character long string

HOLY SHIT! Pls don't!

BusyBox knows how software development works

Want to learn programming in a single night :|

Seriously ???

:||

A project manager 😂

Just got BUGS list from our Client and fuck- 95% of bugs are not even bugs :|

- No, changing the (not pre-decided) verbiage is not a bug
- Adding two more pages in the app is not a bug (what the fuck :|)
- No, APK file not running in iPhone is not a bug (goddamn :|)
- No, adding these "fuckin new" functionalities is not a bug (seriously ? :/)

AND

Mr "used to be a good coder" PM,

Getting "504 Timeout Gateway" error because Server is temporarily down is NOT a fuckin frontend bug

And No, writing Javascript with a proper design architecture is not a "complicated" way of coding
and fuckin No, Global variables and functions without any architecture don't make the programming "kind of better"

ps: And VB dot net is not a fuckin scripting language, VBScript is.

Thank you,
"buggy average coder"

This is why I currently have 14 calculators open...

My setup which I rarely use because I almost always work on the go -.- #freelancerProblems

programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.

please code like it.

Sometimes, google devs are horny. Hahaha

everyone's nightmare!

I ain't allowed to talk about it :( NDA and all.

Finally got my new hoodie

The 5 stages of debugging:

1. What?
2. Why?
3. How?
4. Impossible.
5. Oh.

I'm the lead dev at a tiny startup and was asked to write the job description for our open junior dev position since the new hire will directly work with me everyday. Since posting the opening online 2 weeks ago I've had 2 different recruiters contact me telling me about how my resume perfectly lines up with the job description ... no shit Sherlock, that's because I wrote the job description to find someone with my skill set.

So I've been messing with these recruiters. I told the last one I was interested so when he asked my salary I told him what I make but said I would settle for a lot less to get this job. Eventually he asked for my updated resume so I sent it clearly showing that I work for the company the opening is at. He called me back saying he's not sure what's going on so I told him I wanted to pursue the opening because I wanted to be my own boss. We both laughed but his was that nervous "I don't get it" laugh ... how sad for him.

I can't find my hotel room...

Happy update guys)) I'm a devDaddy!!

Developers version of "I'm in a band": "I'm building an app".

Interviewer: "Please demonstrate a simple program that outputs hello world in C."

*sweating profusely* me:

C C CCCCC C C CC
C C C C C C C
CC CC CCCC C C C C
C C C C C C C
C C CCCCC CCCC CCCC CC

C C C C CCC C CCC
C C C C C C C C C
C C C C C CCC C C C
C c c C C C C C C C C
Cc cC CC C C CCC CCC

Legacy code.

Dev life