Me : I'm having a pretty bad headache.

Boss : Stop acting like a girl and get back to work.

Me: It's a migraine headache.

Boss: Ohh!! You know it's just in your head stop being a pussy. Don't think about the headache, and you won't feel any pain.

Me(in my head) : You fucking idiot you are partially correct it's in my head. But the pain won't stop if I stop thinking about it.

*Why the fuck does no one understand a neurological disease. If i'm not physically hurt, it doesn't mean i'm not in pain*

Fucking ignorant bastards.

Shout out to our HR manager who doesn't accept sick leaves if it's "just a migraine" or "just a stomach ache"

Me: Hi Guys, theres no docs on our custom push notification / deeplinking implementation. I've tried to work backwards from a QA testing doc to add new links. Can someone tell me if this is all ok? It seems to behave a little weird.

Dev: Looks ok, but we've moved to the braze platform for sending notifications. You'll need to trigger braze notifications now. Test that it works ok with that <confluence-link>

*hour later*

Me: I've tried the debugging tool, both with my payload and one of the samples from the link. It displays on the phone, but tapping it doesn't trigger the deeplinking.

Dev: No it works, try one of these <screenshot of samples I used>

*hour later*

Me: Tried it again on the real device to make sure, as well as on develop and master. Not working with those samples or mine.

Dev: No it does. It comes in here in this library <github link to line of code>

Me: ... Nope, debugged it, it doesn't get passed the next 'if' check on the next line as its missing a key/value. The whole function does nothing.

Dev: Oh do you want to send a braze notification?

Me: ..... you told me I had too .... yes I guess.

Dev: ok for a braze notification it works different, send this <entirely different sample no where on the link>

Me: ...... but ..... this is only for braze notifications ..... why .... all the samples have deeplink url's .... but they don't ....... are you ..... FFS!!!!! !@#?!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)

When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!

Hi, I'm new to devRant. That's perfect because I love to rant about everything.

So, let this be my first rant:

Apache Velocity + last minute rush + heatwave - climatisation = Hello Migraine my old friend...

What the fuck is wrong with web designers these days?

Every fucking web page is white with black text. It's 2022, let's stop this paper bullshit and change everything to use colors that make sense on screens.

For fuck sakes, even monokai.pro is black on white. You know monokai, that dark colorful color scheme that most editors support. With a black background and white text.

I'm nursing the worst migraine in the world right now and all I want to do is smash people's faces into these shitty white screens.

It wouldn't be so bad if these fuckers would have a dark mode, but 80% of the documentation that I have to read doesn't support dark mode. Yeah I know about the browser plugins that do it for you, but I honestly don't trust any of them since most of them have been found to be spyware.

I'm a guy and when the migraine hits me I feel like crying. Is it normal for a guy to cry, coz I'm not able to handle this pain.

Had a burnout at my last job when I worked myself to the bone to cope with stress, a failing relationship and not having much money. Also, made a crap ton of mistakes at work because of it.

Didn't sleep much, started skipping lunch to save what little money I had so I could commute (friends treated me every now and then, still grateful), dropped out of college because couldn't juggle work, studies and got chewed out by my family every day and just worked non-stop.

The end result was that I collapsed when I got home one night and woke up at 3 am with a severe migraine; stayed awake till sunrise then left for work again (got scolded really badly by everyone, felt loved). Fun times.

I just broke out of merge-hell.... It was a mere 2 and a half hours... But my migraine says it was eternity.... 😶

I was bored at my workplace and thought to put curl code to GET a random dad joke on opening terminal everytime

Fuck, now I'm having a migraine

but i have an idea to expand this project even more

I have a neighbor with a really annoying car alarm.

It went off at 2am.

It’s not the first time it’s gone off in the middle of the night (though sometimes it goes off in the middle of my work meetings; variety really is the spice of life).

I can’t go back to sleep once I’ve woken up (doing so, like, always results in getting a migraine).

I am so tired.

Weather is changing so frequently.

I'm switching since 1 1/2 weeks between being tired, no sleep, migraine.

On top of that I have to unclog a multilayer cache architecture based on varnish.

My brain poof.

Plus a lot of management tasks.... And planning.

I just want to enter a hibernation mode and sleep for 3-4 weeks.

Please?

So I agree with some arguments against using dark themes but only because they all seem to be about white text on black, but I would never use that as a dark theme... (who would?) Dark shades are where it's at! Take devRant itself as an example.

I had a hockey accident where the hockey stick hook caught me in the eye and among many other things, tore my iris to the point that the doctors couldn't stitch it (something about cutting being reparable but tearing not :/ )

Luckily with some exercises, it healed a lot in its own but still let's in about double the light it should. Since then, black on white for more than a few hours will, without fail, give me a migraine. But then so would white on black, too much light allowed in means that white on black give an almost blurry effect on the characters. Hence, colour shades for the win :D

Just my 2 cents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is kind of personal but wait for the conclusion.

I'm having bad migraines. I used to have them like 10 years ago and recently they came back. The only way to stop an attack is to lie down in a dark room for a few hours and then it's back the next day. CT scan shows nothing. My neurologist shrugged and prescribed some meds. They sometimes take the pain from 8 to 6 on a 0-10 scale, sometimes they do nothing. I stopped working on the weekends and it got better, no more migraines on Saturday morning. So I took few weeks of time off and not a single migraine until the last day.

My shrink said I'm allergic to work.

Kiki’s Autistic Stories!

Living with synaesthesia is very interesting. To me, drinks, especially homogenous and complex ones like espresso or vine, make sound I can describe. This is a system, this is not random. People are agreeing with me. Colours have taste.

But I fear just one thing. There is a certain colour, especially when it’s a glass of that colour, that “tastes” so fucking bitter sweet that it gives me migraine. When I see it, I have to immediately close my eyes, go away, do something to forget it, otherwise migraine. Somehow, thinking of it is unpleasant, but thinking alone doesn’t induce a migraine.

Elasticsearch, from the bottom of my heart...

How can one ecosystem be so batshit crazy inconsistent?

Seemingly every agent does the same (e.g. filebeat vs journalbeat vs packetbeat)… yet there are subtle changes in configuration everywhere.

Plus YML. The most shitty markup language one can use and the cockslubbing durps used it fucking everywhere.

Makes fun to have complex stuff and requiring a python Jinja to JSON to YML converter to be able to write the complex stuff without having the fucking migraine to count like a stupid 4 year old whitespace with both hands...

To make it even more absurd: the ingest pipelines which contain a lot of regular expressions / grok and are thus very prone to quoting issues... Yes. Let's do this in YML too.

If you need to add an fucking manual section how to debug YML errors you should have realized what a fucking stupid idea it was, morons.

Now I have the joy of having a python script regex quoting the shit for a Jinja template which then generates JSON which then generates YML.

Why the JSON part?

Yeah... Because ECS and changes in the upstream YML files / GitHub.

To be able to run diffs in a sane way because in YML distinguishing thing is pretty much impossible, so JSON as an intermediary format solely for the purpose of converting upstream YML to JSON to diff it against modified JSON ingest pipelines downstream.

I fucking hate elasticsearch

I'm very short tempered at the moment.

A lot like Dr Cox in Scrubs.

And really ... You mother fucking stupid idiotic developers with your tendency to discuss absolutely everything just to not have to work for a dozen more minutes...

But ok. Let's discuss.

But even that seems to be absolutely impossible for you little shitheads.

Instead of discussing solutions, nooooooooo....

We're grown up developers so we discuss how the baddy manager hurt our lil feelings by saying that we're morons for wasting all the fucking time without coming up with a solution.

Now my lil cry babies, once the baddy manager got your pacifiers so at least once in an hour my migraine finally calms down for not hearing your bitching pathetic lil whiny noises...

Face it. Over the years you collected a huge ton of mother fucking tech debt because no one of you actually took a bit of time to use that empty space in your head to think at least a mu further than the dumb jira task you were given.

And yes. That ends badly.

And yes. As it is now in a state of cluster fuck, guess what. You have to work. You get money for it, remember?

And yes. if you would stop moping and bitching and crying and being a pathetic lil piece of shit, you'd realize we could come up with solutions very fast.

But nooo... Let's talk about our feelings.

And how we are over worked.

And how nothing works.

Cause yes. That will be the hail mary that saves us all.

Let me give u a hint: it's a mother fucking waste of time bitches.

I think it's time I put a pacifier not only in your mouth, but arse too. Maybe it helps overcoming the anal and oral phase of childhood so we can at least have something close to adult talk.

*breathes in*

Gooozfraba.

!rant

How does everyone stop themselves getting headaches from staring at a screen everyday, all day? Migraines run in my family, so when I get a headache it's always a migraine. When I get one it stops me dead. I'm unable to do anything until it goes away. My best cure right now is excederin. It works great but I want to see what you guys have to say.

Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.

The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.

In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.

Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.

Average social media experience

Post: Guys, I have such a headache right now ughh.

Comments:

#1. Omg, so relatable haha.
#2. Yeah I literally have a migraine rn. LITERALLY.
#3. I am in the MRI room while I read this thread. You have no idea how easy you've got.
#4. Backenders are only about being an asshole. Also, JS rules and you know it.
#5. I like trains.

Can I just say, I hate migraines. There is nothing worse than trying to focus with a worm gnawing at ones eyeball. Ended up leaving work at 13:00, wishing I could teleport home. I take that back; driving for an hour with a migraine is worse. Almost 19:00 and it is finally gone.

Sitting with two of my friends

Me: You ever get a random eye ache? But like you actual eye not like that migraine behind it

Friend 1: Yes
Friend 2: Wtf? No

So the other dev knows what I'm on about but the civilian doesn't... interesting

God damn it! I have multiple exams that I need to study for, but can't because of my headache that I have had for two weeks now... My mom finally forced me to the doctor, and apparently I have gotten a severe case of migraine... no devices, no books and no lights allowed until it gets better.

Worst part? The exams are next week, and I havent been able to study, not even one page out of hundreds...

Guess who's retaking them this summer... döda mig 😞

Signing off from all tech now until it gets better..

How much experience do you have in asp.net? Answered. Next question - How about web development, how much in that? These so called fucking tech recruiters in India are making this industry a mess. These fucking donuts have no clue what are they hiring for, study done on profile is next to zero and then they call you and ask you such questions.
The day was going pretty badly already and this tech recruiter calls me up and starts evaluating my profile and whether it matches with her clients requirement or not! So she starts with some basic stuff and then drops the said pearl of wisdom. After listening that question I went full retard in less than 3 seconds. But our miss mumbo Dumbo proceeds and asks me how many years of experience in xml and Json and whether I have worked on html (!!!!!!). You fucking knucklehead why don't you fucking first have a basic knowledge about your job first and then start dialing? You just caused me a massive migraine attack you dimwitted slack jawed idiot.

Woke up to a migraine... Went to work (this wasnt the best idea), got sent home for the rest of the day. Riding a bike while your brain feels like it wants to exit your skull is not the best thing. Then it proceeds, puking is sometimes a sign for me that the worst part is over. Then head movement headache for some more hours and everything is fine again. Timespan of the whole procedure is about 10 to 12 hours.

At least I have a version of migraine with a temporary vision restriction beforehand according to the doctor some years ago. If I would listen to that signs I could prepare better...

Getting a lot of headaches? Try replacing coffee/energy drinks with ice cold H2O first thing in the morning. It works after a week and it shocks your body into waking up faster.

Dreamed about fixing an unsolvable bug in some code that made absolutely zero fucking sense and woke up with a fucking migraine.

I looked at an SQL server today from a customer, talked with one of their devs and he said that he's unable to understand why the server misbehaves... All (!) queries were optimized, but they have 'big data queries'... Migraine started, I had a very bad feeling. Monitoring? Nooooppeeee. Migraine kicks in. Connected to server. SHOW GLOBAL VARIABLES...
After a bit of scrolling I found a lot of misconfigured variables (e.g. extreme large join buffers, unrealistic buffer sizes), high slow query count (nearly 60 % of COM_SELECT) and a few variables that were unknown to me.

Then came the version line.
5.0.46
Yes. 5.0.46.

Big data? Well... 30 GB of usage data.

I called the company back... The dev told me sternly that this was the production server (I had hope...) and that I lie - neither the version, nor the variables could be the problem.
A coworker had to verify it and our manager had to do the communication... Worst, most traumatic working day I ever had.

So my laptop screen started flickering to black when movement occures on screen, making it look like a stroboscope and giving me a sweet migraine.
Impossible to code, write, browse or get anything done. Good bye finishing deadlines on time.
Don't know what's wrong, hardware or software, I have no freaking idea. But I'm tempted to take this as a oppertunity to blame windows10 whipe my computer clean and running some Linux OS instead.

Literally begging my brain to relax so I can sleep.

I've gotten my drive and passion for coding back (Working on a project that'll be released for beta soon) but unfortunately, the sleepless nights came back with it.

It's currently 6am and I want to sleep but soon as I close my eyes, I see more features, optimizations and potential bug fixes. I have a slight migraine which is quite annoying.

Wish I could turn my brain off on command. Please make it stop 😔

Working from development environment. New API module works like a charm.

Migrated to production. Whole CRM breakes down.

Migraine intensifies.

Boss tells me: "It doesn't work. I tried yesterday." I screenshare with him. He performs the action. All works good. My migraine intensifies... -.-

Wisdom teeth are the worse. I woke up 3 hours ago with a migraine.

Guys any suggestions?

I'm having a migraine attack (severe headcahe) right now in the office.

What should I do.

Sometimes....

There are easy things.

Like networking / routing / vlans / subnetting / loadbalancing and simple DNS (as in name <-> IP resolution, not the "other" stuff).

And somehow... People manage to turn it into something so complicated and insane that you cannot even use technical terms to describe it.

Simply because a lot of it was so mutilated that using the technical term to describe what it should do will become the total opposite of what it _actually_ does.

It's somehow terrifying... But might explain my migraine.

We played "Taboo word" for 3 hours straight, all technical terms were forbidden and I think I _might_ know now how it all works.

And I guess we'll have to restructure, rename and rework the whole network loadbalancing setup from bottom to top because

"This is sparta".

I wish I could explain it better.... But how? It's ... Interesting....

When you can't even explain stuff to someone else because you would need to invent and explain new words.

So... I went to bed Thursday with a mild headache, which turned into a full migraine during the night.

Friday morning I couldn't even open my eyes. Had to stay in bed, sleeping through almost the entire day.

Saturday was slightly better, head still hurted enough to keep my bedridden.

Sunday I managed to leave the bed, eat something and wander around the house a bit. My wife and kids seemed a bit quiet and subdued but I was still to groggy to think anything of it.

This morning I wake up, feeling good enough to check the news and the work chat.

😱 WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?

I'm out of it for a day or two and the entire country has gone into #coronavirus lockdown!

Don't you just hate it when a git pull request assigned to you doesn't have a descriptive title and no description at all? I think I'm having a migraine! #%!%^*#

Delivery guy tried to make small talk, and I immediately got a visual migraine aura. Coincidence? Arse.

Oh, look at Mr. Fancy over here with his "consistent indentation" and "readable code."
Let's just put the opening curly brace wherever we feel like it and let the next dev deal with a migraine. Brilliant!

Hey guys it might seem like i'm ranting a lot about this but, I just can't help it. Apologies for that.

So i suffer from migraine, almost everyday. And the pain, mood swings just kill me. I can't remember a thing, I'm not able to focus on simple tasks. And on top of that no one understands what I go through. I feel like this freaking disease is getting the best of me.

I'm just losing confidence everyday bit by bit. I'm thinking of quitting my job, and taking a career break for sometime, in hopes that it would help.

Feel like i'm totally screwed. Does anyone else feel like this?

currently I'm feeling like a overheated gatling gun....

We'll finish at the weekend a year plus of work.

Should I be happy? Maybe.

But currently it's just frustration cause the whole week was satanic prep work.

Lots of fsicking boring shit, planning, migraine, connecting the dots.

I wish you'd get a nice dose of "fuck everything" medicine at the work for weeks like that.

Remember the chewing gum dispenser from your childhood?

Like that. ID card in. Fun pills out.

(If drugs were only without side effects and addiction.... )

So Saturday I was doing mildly athletic (basically just moving my body) and I started to have a headache inside my head. Every time my heart rate increased I could feel my headache getting stronger in my skull. I don't know if I have ever had a migraine before. Someone told me it could be a migraine. I took an aspirin in case there was a clot and some other pain reliever. Well, it still hurt this way on Sunday and in the morning on Monday. I setup doctor appointment for later this week. Now it acts like it might be going away. So it won't hurt when I go see the doctor maybe. The only reason I wanted to see the doctor was because it stayed for almost 3 days. If it doesn't stay maybe there is no issue?

I wonder if my walks I take during the day will trigger this. I have heard food dyes can cause issues. Someone at work brought in candy with dyes in it. But I have not made great effort to remove dyes from my diet. So I dunno. Can you get migraines later in life? It always seemed like either you had them or you didn't.

#Suphle Rant 2: Michael's obduration

For the uninitiated, Suphle is a PHP framework I built. This is the 2nd installment in my rants on here about it.

Some backstory: A friend and I go back ~5 years. Let's call him Michael. He was CTO of the company we worked at. After his emigration, they seem to have taught him some new stack and he needed somewhere to practise it on. That stack was Spring Boot and Angular. He and his pals convinced product owner at our workplace to rebuild the project (after 2+ years of active development) from scratch using these new techs. One thing led to the other, and I left the place after some months.

Fast forward a year later, dude hits me up to broach an incoming gig he wants us to collab on. Asks where I'm at now, and I reply I took the time off to build Suphle. Told him it's done already and it contains features from Spring, Rust, Nest and Rails; basically, I fixed everything they claimed makes PHP nonviable for enterprise software, added features from those frameworks that would attract a neutral party. Dude didn't even give me audience. I only asked him to look at the repo's readme to see what it does. That's faster than reading the tests (since the docs are still in progress). He stopped responding.

He's only the second person who has contacted me for a gig since I left. Both former colleagues. Both think lowly of PHP, ended up losing my best shot at earning a nickel while away from employed labour. It definitely feels like shooting myself in the foot.

I should take up his offer, get some extra money to stay afloat until Suphle's release. But he's adamant I use Spring. Even though Laravel is the ghetto, I would grudgingly return to it than spend another part of my life fighting to get the most basic functionality up and running without a migraine in Spring. This is a framework without an official documentation. You either have to rely on baeldung or mushroom blogs. Then I have to put up with mongodb (or nosql, in short).

I want to build a project I'm confident and proud about delivering, one certified by automated tests for it, something with an architecture I've studied extensively before arriving at. Somewhere to apply all the research that was brainstormed before this iteration of Suphle was built.
I want autonomy, not to argue over things I'm sure about. He denied me this when we worked together. I may not mind swallowing them for the money, but a return to amateur mode in Spring is something I hope I never get to experience soon

So, I'm wondering: if his reaction reflects the general impression PHP has among developers globally, it means I've built a castle on a sinking ship. If someone who can vouch for me as a professional would prefer not to have anything to do with PHP despite my reassurance it'll be difficult to convince others within and beyond that there could be a more equipped alternative to their staple tool. Reminds me of the time the orchestra played to their deaths while the titanic sank