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To the guy that invented NULL...
Thanks for nothing.
*This is a corrected version of the dad joke originally containing zero.7 -
I just feel that I have to get this of my chest, because this have really me and my family really negative.
It have destroyed my will to be happy, sort of.
Well, my father have some kind of control behaviour. My whole life he has been angry on stuff that does not really matter
and I have always been the one that get all the shit - because I am the oldest. I was never allowed (maybee 3-4 times between age 8-15) to have any friends
over or stay with friends over night or after school. Because they "where bad and I would become like them".
I am happy that I meet my wife 6 years ago and moved away from home when I was 20, I kinda fled the situation from home to start my own life.
My father has always hated when boy/men had long hair and alot of beard - but that is something I always wanted to have. So when I moved from home
I start to let everything grow.
Two years ago, things got really fucked up when I did not shave all my beard of and cut down my hair because my mom had birthday. I did it the week after
because my brother graduated from school and we where going to visit, we did not want a repeat the situation from a couple of weeks before. After that I got
another job as a Linux sysadmin and started to grow the hair and beard again.
Last monday, my dad called and said that I am not welcome to visit them anymore. I am a "bad example" for my sibling
and he also said "you brother and sister does not feel so good (my sister fainted a couple of days before, which I did not know) so I have no time to care about you and your family"
I was stunned, I really wish that this was a joke but it is'nt.
I have always been bashed because of the choices I make in my life and for my own family (wife, and two kids + one more kid any day now)
When I choose to work with something that I love, they said that I am stupid because they basically think "that the PC is full of SATAN".
When they realized that I make more money than my parents combined they went silent.
I just wanted to write this shit of my chest, it is really fucked up and I am starting to loose the ability to have feelings - if you know what I mean.
Thank you devrant, for being one of the fun things I do, when I read all the rage, fucked up stories, hate, and so on. I do not feel alone :)
PS: I promise you, that you guys/gals will be the first one to know when my new kiddo arrives20 -
Say what you want about imposter syndrome - I just realized why I'm cut out for this line of work.
My intelligence is artificial. -
=== Was in my room when the conversation started. Thought it was a joke until i heard a knock on my door ===
[Mom:] Hey Julie, i need you to top up my PC.
[Julie(My kid Sis):] You mean update?
[Mom:] No silly, upgrade! I already have a windows 7 pro and i have just bought the disk for Windows 8 and 10 pro.
[Julie(My kid Sis):] Which should i install first.
[Mom:] You can first install the windows 10 so i can have a windows 17 pro then install the 8 to sum it up.
[Dad:] Lol, holy cow. what are you ladies discussing over there? You wanna crash the PC i just bought?
[Julie(My kid Sis):] No dad, just tryna upgrade windows.
[Dad:] Got that already! Just make sure you first uninstall before install, then after installing all and you don't get a windows 25 pro-plus, just call Giddy he's in his room or return the disks back to the vendor and get a full refund!
[Me:] :/2 -
I will not miss you bitch. See screenshot. I received new hardware. I will use a laptop with good specs as server. My dad bought it from his previous employer because he went for retirement. It has an ultrabook-grade 11th gen processor and he only bought it for 350,- euro. His former employer was a school, they don't give a fuck about money like a commercial company would do in such case. It's originally bought with tax money anyway.
https://llm.molodetz.nl is currently online but not for long, i hope to have smth running at end of the weekend. Probably a 7b model. I have plans with it that require some performance so I won't use the heavy ones.
Retoor1b currently is 0.5b or 1.5b. I forgot. The models with lower parameter count are a bit more naive and trainable like a kid. They're also not very biased yet. So, that will be my main new challenge. How to make a chat bot unethically human. No political correctness under this roof.
Would be nice if i could make it a bit like bratgpt. Sounds like a joke, but that model is expensive as fuck. You'll be shocked. But i would like to implement some sarcasm in it. A bit unpredictable. But normally such configuration escalates into very weird behavior.
My 'server' has a freaking 4K screen and i'm working on a decade old laptop. But seriously, the keyboard of the new one sucks. Nothing beats a x270. * tik tik tik * rakketakketak *. My previous x270 missed four keys. The three x270's i had, all had familiar experience but still different. The other two would never lose a key I guess. I configured the new 'server' that it safes battery, configured for mostly on AC.
I'm living on limited amount of cash (and will work again when i will run out). That's why i normally don't spend money myself on such things. So i'm now very happy. Fuck, this was about to be rant about how much my AI sucks but it ended in happy stuff. Oh well...
If you're still reading, you're the best!
Edit:
Images uploading broke again. Here is link: https://devrant.molodetz.nl/llm.png10 -
I try to pay attention to my moods. So when I have strong feelings I will tell my wife about them. I was talking to her on the phone on the way home.
me: It is the horny time of the month.
her: Oh, okay, thanks.
me: Yeah, it comes and goes...
her: <sigh>
At this point I realized I had made a really dirty dad joke.
me: Oh, that was bad wasn't it?
her: Yeah, it was bad.
me: I have ascended to subconscious dad joke competence.
her: Okay, sure.
me: Was it funny?
her: No.
me: Really?
her: I just like to tell you I think it's not funny.
me: You are trolling me?
her: Yes.
me: Damn it! -
I start by diving straight into the code. A blank brand new file in whatever language I have chosen to create my project in. If it's a language I'm unfamiliar with, I'll start with some templates of getting started (for example, I wanted to make a node.js application with a connected website, so I found some code using express to link the two together).
Once I've started, I'll eventually create a text file for ideas which I may or may not plan to implement later. If a particular feature is rather complex, I'll draw it out on my whiteboard, giving me a visual guide to help me.
My main aim is to simply get a "foot in the door"; once that's achieved, it makes working on the project much more enjoyable. I tend to turn it into a bit of "play" by coming up with suggestions which I would probably not implement in my final design, but add just for the fun of it. If I chose to drop those ideas, I'll save the code - chances are, I would have learnt something new in the process (For example, I learnt how to perform GET requests and figured out what cURL was for the first time by simply adding a "dad joke generator" to a discord bot, just for a laugh) -
Dad: Son, please put a liner in the trash.
Son: Argh, okay... <grumbles and starts>
Dad: Its just a one liner. It doesn't even have to be funny.
Son: <GROAN!> ... I hate you ...1 -
That feeling when you're applying for your first programming job.
And the knife stabs of nerves in your gut fearfully remind the coiled muscles in your sweaty brow of the singular possibility: what if I bullshit my way by the HR filter into this job and it turns out I was completely wrong, and I encounter a bug that my meager coding abilities really can't fix?
"Writing an interpreter in some community college you dropped out of ten years ago" doesn't mean you're a programmer.
"Figuring out where the bug was in a broken bat file that was pages long, for a language and framework you've never used, for a library nobody uses anymore", doesn't count as debugging.
"Writing a tweening library in an obscure tool" doesn't mean you're an expert. This is childs play.
What if they ask about big O? Do you admit that logarithms confuse the fuck out of you because you dropped out in 8th grade and got your GED later on due to being kicked out by your meth head dad?
What if being able to write a few measly cobbled together half-arsed estimate tools in python doesn't really mean you're qualified to do anything?
What if being able to look at code in languages you've never seen and grok it doesn't mean shit?
What if you've used more languages than you can remember?
What if you once lost a job offer casually given because the guy you built rapport with over months made a joke about browsers, and you joked about using internet explorer?
What if you got a job offer from a consultant friend one time and he asked you to write validation and testing code in javascript for amazon's cloud, and you completely screwed the pooch because you spent the entire time thinking you had to make it *work* and not just *look* correct, when all along he just wanted what amounted to *correct looking* code, and your gut had told you the same, but you ignored it, because the world can't possibly work like that, where people give anyone a chance or the benefit of the doubt, and any slip up or shortcoming means you were never really worthy to begin with.
What if you thought you could, but you'd been raised your entire life to *believe* you couldn't?3
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