Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "google fu"
My boss is technically restricted shall we say.
As the cto I have also been designated office IT guy. Which means apparently fixing the printer. Which is ok I guess. I mean it's bullsh*t but hey.
Anyway, about 6 months ago he said he needed a new laptop. He lives his life in excel and outlook, and even though the whole company uses google docs for everything he still exports everything to excel, makes a copy, then saves it back to drive so everything gets out of sync.
It's a fun problem that I have banned everyone from doing obviously but he continues.
Anyway, anyway, he wanted a new windows laptop naturally. I said to spend about £700 on a decent machine rather than buying something cheap that will frustrate and not last long.
He doesn't listen and gets some old windows 7 machine for £300. It's an alright spec for 2009; he must not have got the memo about it being 2017.
4 months go by and he says he needs a new laptop because this one is too slow (not least because he opens 400 chrome tabs and never reboots his machine). Anyway, I fix the problem of uninstalling all his bloatware and it runs quicker but he has his heart set on a new machine.
I suggest he spend the money this time so he literally doesn't buy a new one in 4 months. I suggest the surface book that's £1200. A little overpriced but he will love the touch screen, it's powerful enough and it's windows. Ticks all the boxes for him.
He suddenly decides he wants a Mac.
I tell him it will be a nightmare for everyone if he does that.
I suggest the Mac book pro as I've had mine for 6 years now and it's still going strong. It's a little more expensive than the surface but it will last.
He then says he wants the air.
I say they haven't updated them in ages and they aren't actually that powerful.
That night he just buys an air from the Apple Store.
WHY THE FU*k ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR ADVICE IF YOURE NOT GOING TO LISTEN YOU MOTHERFUC*er. WASTING MY TIME AND YOURS.
Was very close to rage quitting when he wanted me to back up his old machine but didn't bring in his hard drive and didn't want to put it in the cloud. #whatDoYouWantMeToDoWithYourOldPornCollection
To top it all off I ran some benchmarks and my 6 year old Mac book pro is more powerful than his "brand new" air.27
Fellow Dev: the clients are requesting a gallery on their website with functioning modals.
Me: okay cool
*I googled as much as I could and I made a proper functioning gallery in 2 full days of coding*
Him: okay, so this is great but they aren't really digging it.
Me: *sigh* yes, so what do they want?
Him: have you seen how an image opens in Google images? Like you click on one, the image opens while the rest of the content shifts down?
Me: um... Yeah?
Him: yeah, so they want that.
Me: ... *Scoops the web trying to figure out how Google does it*. Dude, I can't find anything close to it and I've still got a lot to learn. Idk how to do it.
Him: well, you're being paid for that. So, you better do it.
Me: 1000Rs ( approx. 14.58$ ) isn't called "being paid". Gimme a break here.
Him: You're a novice rn.
Me: why don't you do it?
Him: I'm your boss.
*Sigh* (he indeed is my boss)
Him: deal with it.
Me: FU........C.....*suddenly I realized how it's done* OH OH OH OH I just got it, I just got it!
(I actually make something like that)
That's just my best story of a fight. Lol.5
```We discovered that your app contains hidden features. Attempting to hide features, functionality or content in your app is considered egregious behavior and can lead to removal from the Apple Developer Program.```
- Apple App Store Publishing Team
ARE U FU KINV KIDDING ME
THAT IS THE COMPLETE REASON WHY YOU REJECTED MY APP?
THE SAME GODDAMN BUILD THAT WAS SUBMITTED ON GOOGLE PLAY FOR ANDROID GOT APPROVED IN 10 MINUTES
IS THE SAME BUILD VERSION THAT GOT REJECTED 3 DAYS AFTER REVIEW ON THE APP STORE
BECAUSE "THEY THINK" I HAVE HIDDEN FEATURES LOL WHAT ARE FU🤡🤡KING INSANE🤡 YO😂😂🤡🤡
THIS REJECTION REASON IS LIKE A SHITTY USER REVIEW
"omg baby girl this app is best" *1 star"
"I have a crash pls fix its not work this app cz crashs n not fixes fck u developers fix it these prblms !!!!🍆🍆🍆👅👅👅💦💦💦💨🌬🌬🌬" *1 star*
AND GET THIS RN !!!!
THEY EVEN *THREAT ME* TO BAN MY APPLE DEVELOPER PROGRAM ACCOUNT WHICH I. P A I D. F O R. $ 100 USD
BECAUSE MY APP HaS 'HIDDEN FEATURES'
THERE ARE NOOO9OO FI KING HIDDEN FEATURES U MTHHHFRRFKERSS I WILL CUMBLAST ALL OF UR APPLE HOLES INTO UR ASSHOLES AND GIVE BIRTH TO THE MAGGOTS🤡GROWING FROM WITHIN🤡UR FKIG ASSHOLE CZ ALL OF YALL R FKIN ASSHOLES🤡ANYWAY🤡THEN MY FKIG HOT CUM🤡WILL EXPLODE💦OUT OF YOUR🤡ASS AND U WILL BE CLOWNS FOREBER🤡I WORKED WAY TOO HARD TO DESERVE AN UNNECESSARY REJECTION THAT HAS A VAGUE REASON OF WHY IT WAS REJSCTED🤡🤡🤡
So, last night I came home from work and "Kung Fu Hustle" was on (cable). I watched it for like ten minutes and then turned it off. Didn't even think about it after.
Just a couple of hours ago I was on YouTube and a clip from that movie came up as a suggested video. On a browser where I'm not logged in. On a computer that's not mine. That is behind a proxy server. That is in a continent far away from me.
Am I crazy or that is actually Google doing that?10
I really do like Flutter/Dart but I just cannot be the only who thinks that the way to create several nested components/widgets is even close to somewhat readable, what the fu** Google.6
I’m not a web programmer; I’m an application and SQL developer. So when I’m tasked with scrapping a web site for an ETL feed, I thought it would just be a ton of substring and Post/Get calls.
!rant from a support guy
I was tasked to migrate an Exchange 2003 server (yes, those are still used) for an upcoming Office 365 deployment. There are no direct upgrade path from one another, as far as we know
My task was to export PSTs from mailboxes. Great, a native tool exist for that in 2003 (exmerge). But only for less than 2 GB mailboxes because ANSI/Unicode! Half of our mailbox busts that limit. Oh, it seems Exchange 2007 has a PowerShell command for exporting to PST as well! But pre-SP3, that command relies on a local installation of Outlook on the server (DAFUQ), and has been superseded by another "standalone" powershell command. So I install a bogus Windows 2012 server only for that purpose, with Exchange Management Tools (which, by the way, is bundled with the Exchange installation setup and REQUIRES to have IIS installed on the target machine. Also, if you install ONLY the Exchange 2007 Management Tools and wish to uninstall them afterwards, you can't because the uninstaller wants me to select an Exchange Role to remove, which are all unchecked in my tools-only setup). Never worked, and Google-fu says that the newer Exchange 2007 New-MailboxExportRequest command seems to have removed Exchange 2003 support.
So i'm back to installing a pre-SP3 Exchange 2007. Then the older Export-Mailbox powershell command whines about 64bits and 32bit incompatiblity-- actually I ***HAVE*** to have the whole OS/software stack 32bit ONLY. Don't ask me why!
Some article I found says I could fire up an XP virtual machine for that, I go for Win 7 x86. "Sorry, Microsoft Exchange won't be installed on a workstation environment because reasons." All right then, let's go for an old Windows Server 2003 x86. Have you tried to boot this up in an Hyper-V environment where mouse and keyboard support for Windows Server 2003 are apparently optional? No keyboard AND mouse events sent to the guest machine at all.
* Sigh *, let's use a Windows Server 2008, but WATCH OUT! Microsoft has discontinued x86 support on their W2008 R2 release, so non-R2 for me. Even then, mouse event wasn't sent until I installed guest additions.
After all, export-mailbox ended up working, but that costed me two days of banging my head against the wall. (Oh, and I take internal calls inbetween as well...)
And that's why I aspire to be a programmer. Thank you for nothing, Microsoft!4
Any hardcore vim users out there? In need of help with tabs/panes. I tried some google-fu, but not much help.
I have a kubernetes helper, where I can run a command like :Vikube, and it'll open the result in a new tab. Is there any way I can open the result in a splitpane instead? I've found some ways, but not any good ways :/4
Fu google, y u removed zoom buttons from google maps? It's so annoying when I have to use my whole hand just to operate your fckin maps...5
Ok Google. Thank you for providing a sample app to take a picture. Also, FU for making the basic sample camera 2 fragment in excess of 1000 lines of code.