Flirting! Life as a programmer has me irrationally attracted to nerds. A recent flirty exchange included something like this - "I'll build your environment, baby. I will build it with the finest, artisanally-crafted shell scripts so it can built and rebuilt over and over again.."

My friends think it's weird that all my crushes are neither good looking nor social. I don't think they'd ever understand.

Husband wanted to not go out after dinner to "go cuddle in bed." This apparently is code for him browsing mathmatica stack exchange and reading books on data analysis with R... 😂

Sometimes the stack exchange sites have some true hidden gems

Not knowing git or github. His idea was to exchange the code via SKYPE

I dont know why..But i laughed for 5 minutes after seeing the last comment . Maybe personal experience..

"Cricket Exchange App"
1Million downloads - 4.9* Rating
Was quiet interested
Installed and opened
And wtf is this?

"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." - George Bernard Shaw

"Hi! I love your work on github! I'm planning a cryptocurrency exchange and am currently looking for a developer to work with. Would you be interested in working with me and if so, how much would it cost?"

*reply*

>His face when he sees my hourly rate

So just recently my school blocked the following for unknown reasons websites
Github
Gitlab
Amazons aws
stack exchange
Bitbucket
Heroku
The hacker news
DuckDuckGo
The Debian package repositories yea all of em
And all domains that end in .io
Now some of you out there are probably just saying "well just use a vpn" the answer to that is I can't the only device I have a locked down school iPad can't install apps cannot delete apps cannot change vpn or proxy setting's I cannot use Safari private tab they have google safe search restricted to "on" they even have "safari restricted mode which lets safari choose what it wants to block" and even when I'm on my home wifi it's s still blocked as they use Cisco security connector THIS IS HELL

Also this is my first post :)

That feel when you Google your problem and the first result is your own stack exchange post without any answers 🙄

A bit of an old Stack Exchange post, I wonder if anyone remembers this one...

I applied for the wrong job for my placement year. Put down COMPSCI on the form (which, it turns out, is computational biology, which I knew nothing about) rather than ITSEC, which was the software dev side of things.

I only found out in the interview, when the first question was asked:

"So Almond, I'm a bit confused as to why you've applied to this role specifically given you've no biology background at all - could you fill us in?"

...errr...

I spewed some kind of crap on the spot about wanting to work in a field where I saw a direct & differing application of computing than I'd seen before, and thought my focus on the technical, rather than the scientific side of things might be an asset to them. This awkward exchange went on for a while - but somehow it seemed to work, because I was offered the job, and decided to take it - had a fantastic year there.

Family think I make websites and webapps

What I actually do is exchange high quality memes on Discord

Take my dollar. Take. My. Dollar.

TAKE MY DOLLAR. I WANT A DR PEPPER. THIS IS A GOOD DOLLAR. ACCEPT IT. YOU ARE MY MECHANICAL BITCH. I WISH TO EXCHANGE MONEY FOR GOODS. I WILL LITERAL-

Oh, okay. You took it. That's what I thought.

This story starts over two years ago... I think I'm doomed to repeat myself till the end of time...

Feb 2014
[I'm thrust into the world of Microsoft Exchange and get to learn PowerShell]

Me: I've been looking at email growth and at this rate you're gonna run out of disk space by August 2014. You really must put in quotas and provide some form of single-instance archiving.
Management: When we upgrade to the next version we'll allocate more disk, just balance the databases so that they don't overload in the meantime.

[I write custom scripts to estimate mailbox size patterns and move mailboxes around to avoid uneven growth]

Nov 2014
Me: We really need to start migration to avoid storage issues. Will the new version have Quotas and have we sorted out our retention issues?
Management: We can't implement quotas, it's too political and the vendor we had is on the nose right now so we can't make a decision about archiving. You can start the migration now though, right?
Me: Of course.

May 2015
Me: At this rate, you're going to run out of space again by January 2016.
Management: That's alright, we should be on track to upgrade to the next version by November so that won't be an issue 'cos we'll just give it more disk then.

[As time passes, I improve the custom script I use to keep everything balanced]

Nov 2015
Me: We will run out of space around Christmas if nothing is done.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: The question is not how much space... it's when do you want the existing storage to last?
Management: October 2016... we'll have the new build by July and start migration soon after.
Me: In that case, you need this many hundreds of TB
Storage: It's a stretch but yes, we can accommodate that.

[I don't trust their estimate so I tell them it will last till November with the added storage but it will actually last till February... I don't want to have this come up during Xmas again. Meanwhile my script is made even more self-sufficient and I'm proud of the balance I can achieve across databases.]

Oct 2016 (last week)
Me: I note there is no build and the migration is unlikely since it is already October. Please be advised that we will run out of space by February 2017.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: Like last time, how long do you want it to last?
Management: We should have a build by July 2017... so, August 2017!
Me: OK, in that case we need hundreds more TB.
Storage: This is the last time. There's no more storage after August... you already take more than a PB.
Management: It's OK, the build will be here by July 2017 and we should have the political issues sorted.

Sigh... No doubt I'll be having this conversation again in July next year.

On the up-shot, I've decided to rewrite my script to make it even more efficient because I've learnt a lot since the script's inception over two years ago... it is soooo close to being fully automated and one of these days I will see the database growth graphs produce a single perfect line showing a balance in both size and growth. I live for that Nirvana.

No, I will not join your "startup" and develop your entire app for you in exchange for "stock options."

Okay, y'all!
Thank you for being remotely interested in my post. It really cheered me up :-D
Here's the definition I submitted, also attached the proof of my humiliation.

devrant

It's the ray of fucking sunshine in a developer's perpetually annoying lifestyle. It is developer-made for developer-use.
An anonymous social platform where the app owners/founders/creators ACTUALLY LISTEN to user feedback!

Developers who have made up a million fucking ways to ask their fucktard co-worker/boss/client to go die, can exchange their creativity for ++s.
It's a platform to channel their rage into a creative rant and calm down a bit. It's like taking a long, deep, virtual breath.

Useless software/apps that behave like they were developed by 5 year olds, also take a hit sometime.

PS - Addiction is a common side effect.

A co-worker at the city-government just chose the wrong mailing list and send an e-mail to EVERY SINGLE emlpoyee (about 20'000 people, including our police-department, hospitals, councils etc.).
Within A MINUTE hundrets of people responded to the mail by using the "reply all" button, pointing out that this mail obviously wasn't meant for them.
After another minute the same douchebags sent another mail (of course using the "reply all" button AGAIN), asking to be removed from the mailing list and stop spamming them.

Even two hours after blocking the mailing list immediately, our mail servers still are processing all those damn mails.

RIP exchange servers
RIP inbox
RIP faith in humanity

Edit: typos

I wonder why new Office icons look like a ripoff from stack exchange....

Business: We can't approve this code update in QA because we weren't aware of it.

Me: I was told you wanted it.

Business: We'll discuss it next week. Don't do anything on this till then.

Me: Alright. But you said so.

(Week passes)

Business: Why isn't that updated in QA for us to test? You said you were done.

Me: I am done but you said no. (Sends email exchange)

We shall see what happens next.

It's 21:42. I had 1 month to write a report on my internship. Day after tomorrow is submission. I'm starting now.

I deleted Facebook Inc.'s products long time ago, deleted YouTube app, removed Quora account, put filters on suggestions for Stack Exchange networks, blocked Reddit, stopped Spotify, started Trello/Wunderlist/Evernote to organise thoughts, ForestApp and StayFocusd for controlled browsing, deleted Tumblr etc. All this just to focus on the report and get it done as soon as possible.

Now I FOUND devRant! What the fuck world! Why!? I'm now ranting about issue on devRant with this rant. <- this sentence is a meta, if you didn't realise.

Got to a client, we are taking over their software dev and IT.

"you're not touching my code ". Listen fuck twit, a robocopy script is not fucking code.
"I wrote a 3500 line code for this company" no fuck twit, you wrote a whole lot of fucking gibberish that looks like someone shat out BASH and it met html along the way. It doesn't compile, it doesn't run, it's a fucking dormant file. You charged people for shit all.

Setting up exchange is also not a big whoop.

Moving them over to CentOS server (he had them on XP still), and writing enough code to qualm my frustration at people.

I’m working for fucking idiots. Here is an actual conversation I had with my boss today.

Me: I checked the numbers, and barely anyone is using our app more than once. Not only is a minuscule amount of people downloading it (we have 300 downloads), but none of those people use it more than once. Use retention is important and we’re failing in that regard.

Boss: User retention doesn’t matter. Investors don’t care about that. Blah blah blah all we need is marketing blah blah. We just need a bunch of people to download once. That’s all that marketers care about....in fact, an potential investor himself told me that he doesn’t care (obvious lie)

Me: Well, can I talk to this investor? What’s his name? Is he in California or India/China?

Boss: oh you can’t be at the investor meeting. It’s high level. Just don’t worry about it. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.

On the bright side, this whole exchange has motivated me even more in my quest to find a new job. And I guess it’s important to learn what not to do from idiots

@dfox would it be possible to have the menu open when swiping from the left edge? (E.g. Slack, Stack Exchange)

The menu button is quite high on larger phones, hard to reach with me thumb.

I just got four CSV reports sent to me by our audit team, one of them zipped because it was too large to attach to email.

I open the three smaller ones and it turns out they copied all the (comma separated) data into the first column of an Excel document.

It gets better.

I unzip the "big" one. It's just a shortcut to the report, on a network share I don't have access to.

They zipped a shortcut.

Sigh. This'll be a fun exchange.

Wow, pretty neat, all of Stack Exchange lets you run queries against it.

I had this meeting with this new client and where talking about the possibility to exchange data.

And he told how his company now has everything in the cloud and if we also have it in the cloud it should already be connected since it's both in the cloud.

I tried to explain that because its both in the cloud that does not mean it's connected to each other. We still need to develop a way to exchange data.

On wich I got the answer that our data probably is not in the real cloud.

In the end I just said that we can probably exchange data but it the easiest way to accomplish this is talking to someone who maintain the data in your cloud. And we could adapt our system to theirs.

Sometimes it's hard to communicate with less tech savvy people about tech stuff. Explaining things in a way they understand but also is technical correct.

I found a vulnerability in a food delivery app api that allows me to add credit to my account. I ate my first free meal today but i feel bad about it. What should i do 😞.

1- continue hacking free credit and eating free food.

2- stop and forget i found this bug

3- report the bug in exchange for money/credit

4- report the bug for free

I noticed several people blaming the new Chrome update for breaking their CSS. From what I know Chrome did not "break" anything. Using browser quirks, experimental features, and deprecated code typically results in this. When you see a "neat trick" on a blog, Stack Exchange, JsFiddle, whatever, be sure to research what you are about to implement. Especially if it has a post date older than 2 years.

For fuck sake, stop complaining about the lack of privacy everywhere.
I'm not saying that worrying about your privacy is bad, I also really want to be protected and I know the risks we run when put our information on the net, I care about my data, but please stop acting like whoever uses Google, Facebook or Windows is a fool and you're the only genius around.

Because guess, I use their services and when I use them I'm explicitly authorizing them to process my data, to track me and to create a profile about me. It's an exchange, I know what they're doing and I've control on the data I'm serving them.

If, for some reason, I want to be more protected then I fucking use some open source iper-safe alternative, and that's it.

Seriously, I'm happy if you use those fancy alternative services for everything (for your reasons, I don't care) and I'm glad if you decided to don't use any closed source service anymore, but please, stop screaming against who uses them

My typical morning Teams exchange:
Newb: GM (requesting connection)
Me: GM (connection established)
Newb: How r u? (requesting headers)
Me: Good (headers sent)
Newb: You free? (ready for comms?)
Me: Sure (comms ready)
…
Feels like a bad internet protocol.

Some young kid taking his first steps into compsci was being straight-up fucking harassed on SO. No one answered, instead users with really high rep just said shit like "if you tried to hang yourself with that code it'd come apart but you should check anyway" in the comments. I flagged the comments and got fucking banned from the entire Stack Exchange network. I created a new account to help the kid, posted an answer, and was banned and had my answer removed within 5 minutes.

SE can burn in hell.

there is another team in our company that has its site in the US. we haven't been working with them for very long, but we do have some common topics on which we work loosely together and exchange some information from time to time. i have met the guys only once in person when they visited Germany.

PM asked one of the devs of this team if he could move to another time zone, so it would be easier for us in Europe to arrange meetings with him.

move to another timezone. within the US. to the other side of the country where there's noone he knows. also, no site of ours.
only so it's easier for PM to arrange fucking meetings with him.

can you believe that? i cringed so hard when PM told me about that. (of course the guy refused, shocked pikachu)
and when he thought aloud that maybe he should ask the guy to move to Germany, i told him that the colleague wouldn't do that and that this was a terrible idea. he was really surprised and asked "hmm, you think?"

dafuq, hell yeah i think?!

I am still at the office, doing a completely non-critical job for completely non-critical businesses while the streets look like something straight out of Fallout 4.

Friend: Why do you not work from home?

Me: Because people who care more about money then the wellbeing of the world control everything. Jobs are just slavery with extra steps and the exchange of one's health in exchange for tokens with which to purchase base necessities is just a way to hide that fact.

Friend: I fucking hate our species.

Me: Amen.

MAINTENANCE OF STACKOVERFLOW PLANNED
SHARE TO YOUR NEAREST DEV FRIENDS

Stackoverflow and its relative partners will be closed for two days due to maintenance, new design, and moving server infrastructure from United States to 1km below the Switzerland Alps for extra layers of security. This decision was made by the recent CloudFlare data leak.
Now our servers will be able to handle data leaks because even though the data was leaked, it will fill the empty places in the rocks resulting inaccessible from attackers.
Stackoverflow and its relative partners' maintenance estimated time is February 29 - 30. We will try to finish as fast as possible and bring you guys the best experience. If the maintenance delayes, we will tweet via @StackStatus or post details in our status blog.
Thank you for your support and have a happy day.
Best regards,
Stack Exchange team

In ancient times, a friend and I made a new website for a golf course, in exchange for free golf whenever we wanted it. We were traveling to Texas for work(we were Linux sysadmins for a defense contractor at the time) and found out that mechanical/logistic issues at the airport in Houston would delay our departure by two hours, but this wasn't until after the plane was fully boarded and had begun to taxi. So we sat on the tarmac at Kansas City Airport for two hours with nothing to do but release that website. We finished some perl hooks to site resources, and pushed the site live. This was on a laptop tethered to a phone with a CDMA data connection, before even EVDO was released.

Even so, it went great! I sshed into the server(running netBSD), swung over the necessary tags, and the site was up.

My workflow today is largely the same, just with git and a more elaborate .vimrc.

I regularly want to send pictures from my work phone to my private one and I've got WhatsApp installed on my work phone but no way in hell it's getting on my private phone.

Was thinking about how to exchange those images easily...

I now have Signal on my work phone as well and I can chat with my private phone 😊

I was so excited about getting a fitbit charge 3 for my girlfriend. coz she wanted a fitbit for a long time.

she as always was trying to find out what i got so she usually starts a guessing game.

in the middle of the game she says look i dont need to know anymore ill love it whatever it was. i just hope its not a fitbit.

so me being someone who is completely ok with exercising the stores exchange policy i tell her it is a fitbit. she swears to me shes wanted one forever but she ddnt want me to pay that much money so i dont need to exchange it with anything.

next day on the phone, she tells me how much she appreciates it and just was afraid id get one coz she ddnt used to like her dads fitbit. but the other models are really cool.

what was ur dads fitbit? i asked

oh just the ugly charge 3 one. she replied

I dont know if I should hate it or love it that I had to teach "certified microsoft engineers" about how Exchange works.

I recently received a 1 star review in the App Store. I have answered him twice to ask about which issues he had and what features were missing to him.
He responded really aggressively by posting this:
I purchased this app for my Sonos and found it very simple for an app I had to pay for. I gave it a 1 star and wrote why. Since then the designer has contacted me twice complaining about my review. Sorry, but I am entitled to my opinion and I want you to stop harrassing me because I think your app is basic and doesn't always work right.

DO NOT WRITE ME AGAIN. Suck it up and let me have my own opinion for what I paid for. If you don't like it, make the app free in exchange for 5 ego stars.

---- BEGIN RANT ----
Microsoft Exchange
---- END RANT ----

I have to fix this fucking fucked up thing again. Fuck.
The dude who wanted to use it does not have the skills to fix it. Fuck off. This bullshit is going to get migrated asap

> Me on call
> Notice that our Echangeserver is not working, strange that I did not get any alarm?
> Start working on it, the services are slow as fuck. They dont start
> Nvm reboot
>10 minutes later the same problem, start to dig deeper.
>Everything goes slow because I am not a Windows guys
>The big boss calls, clock is 7 AM (our office opens as 8AM)
> She is angry that I am not at the office, because the mail does not work.
> I am working remotely from home, 30 min drive to work
> Told her that I have a 30 min drive and I was supposed to be home to take care of wife that was sick
> She is annoyed, pissed.
> She demands that I need to be at the office to solve the problem

omg,,, I don't work better if I am in the office.
Also, it turns out that a colleague has turned of the alarms from Nagios/OP5 for the exchange environment because is once spammed his phone.

Every now and then I see neovim being mentioned here, which sparked my interest. Currently I use vim, vi and the likes. Given that I'm at least somewhat familiar with these, what are the differences between them and neovim, benefits of one or the other, and ease of migration?

As for why I'm not going to Stack Exchange to ask this question - I understand that this will be very opinionated, which I find desirable. There's nothing like actual user experience. But Stack Exchange being the way it is, such questions would be shot down immediately :')

Seriously Dinosaurs with laser guns WTF (Read the Danger part)

Had an interview with a potential customer last week, and he started questioning my technical capability in the middle of the discussion on the basis that I’m taking notes with pen and paper...

Yes, I can type. At 90+ WPM, I can darn near produce a transcript of everything we say. But I won’t remember any of it afterward, because it passes straight from the ears to the hands without any processing.

“You see, that’s what we have something called ’search’ for...”

...Yeah. Except that doesn’t help with picking out the most important points from a wall of text, organizing it in a way that allows visualizing relationships between concepts, and other non-linear things that are hard to do on the fly in a word processor.

“Well, how about we get you a tablet with a pen and you can just write on that, then?”

How about no.

Ended up turning him down because of other concerns that were raised that were, suffice to say, about as ornerous as you might expect from that exchange.

I should worship the people who came up with stack exchange and w3schools. can't thank enough for helping out daily in work. 🙌

Mint can't find correct driver for Intel NUC.
The download page for linux Intel graphic driver update tool project was closed.

Asked what's happened on Ubuntu stack exchange, got immediately closed, because of off topic: mint is not Ubuntu...🤦‍♂️

My solution is to uninstall mint, and install Ubuntu...
Still the same driver issue, but at least I could ask...
God damn it.

"As it turns out, this world isn't all that complicated. It's pretty simple actually. It's all a game, a very simple game. Of course, some will try to make it difficult. But you can handle them, I know it. I know you can!"

There's a lot of truth in that. When you get into the depths of how the world works, things turn out to be pretty simple.

One thing I cannot rationalize though. The human spirit. The desires that it embodies. I've had this question for so long - what makes us humans human?

If for example a future surgeon - able to exchange individual cells between me and you - would do so, at which point do you become me, and the other way around? 50+% exchange? But that'd mean that at least part of me is still "you". In that state, are you truly you?

Not sure what the cellular definition of an individual is, given that we're headed towards a bionic society where synthetic organs will likely become more relevant than the donated parts of me that I've recently applied as a donor for. I wholeheartedly encourage that future, but the philosophical questions that surround it become more relevant.

How about the impact of influencers on the mind? For example, I've seen the term "certified enganeers" become a trend here, which I'm very grateful for. It does raise a question though. If for example I were to die, would the term live on? And if so, is that a part of what makes me "me"? Would a part of me live on in you? Would your spirit be partially me, due to mere influence?

What makes up the human creature anyway? I think of my own body as a mere vessel for my mind, but I can't quite grasp what makes up the mind, and philosophical questions like "if I were to upload my mind to a robot and instruct it to kill me, would that carbon copy become *me*?"

The human nature is such a weird thing.. and technology doesn't make it any simpler. Is it really just a simple game, with simple rules and e.g. a biological program running inside of a biological motor? Or is there more to it?

WHO THE FUCK MAKES AN EXCHANGE RATE A STRING?!!!

> Telegram bot
> Whatsapp bot
> Domino game in terminal (Unfinished from last year)
> Bubble shooter game using c & allegro 5 (Unfinished from last year)
> Android Notability-like app with more features
> Program that increases youtube video views
> Android animal space invaders
> Own website/portfolio
> Our company app (includes daily euro-peso exchange rates, guidelines and other stuff about the company)

ive had other ideas but i started losing them cause i wrote them in several small pieces of paper. starting to think of i'll start to have a notebook dedicated to "ideas"

So you know how a polite request may be phrased as a question, eg. "May I have seconds?". And how an appropriate answer for such a question may be a simple request, indicating the answerer's desire for the inquirer to be at ease, eg. "please do."?

So today my non-native ass had the following exchange:
her: "I'd love to keep you company but I have to call a friend who asked me dearly to call him back when I get home."
me: "please leave"

Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope

I think that's the thread dump of my brain currently.

Anyone knows what date and time we have?

I'm so lost right now.

17 projects atm thanks to e.g. Microsofts Exchange Hell.

I. Hate. Everything.

Go spread your butt cheeks so I can give you two fists of love before you write a damn ticket regarding yet another (security-) problem in infrastructure.

Photoshop in my country with a low dollar exchange rate, literally required 1/10th of my monthly salary when I was a beginner.

Literally go fuck yourself Adobe.

I'm about to finish a website where people can upload their university notes and download others in exchange. In the future I'll try to upgrade it to an academic hub or something like that.

Broke: Let's exchange numbers

Woke: Let's exchange GitHub usernames :3c

When your university drops the support for IMAP on their mail-server, leaving Exchange as only possible option, because apparently the thought that somebody MIGHT be using Linux in a fucking IT major is completely out of this world...

Haven't used stack exchange in a while - forgot how cancerous the community is. Posted a question today on the raspberry pi forum, and someone (within a few mins of posting) edited my post to replace a hyphen with a comma, and removed the word "basically".

Just disassembled my iPhone. Actually, I just wanted to attach the battery again, because the adhesive strips do not hold so tight since the battery exchange. But then... 😁

So tired of LinkedIn recruiters thinking software development is the same as IT. Yes there are some overlap of skills but I'm not going to switch from web development to maintaining exchange servers.

I work in a very famous, large European company, recently my country got hit hard with inflation (18% +), as a way to leviate this, many multinational companies have increased their employees wages, my fucking company instead decided to take advantage of the higher exchange rate and keep the change in their pockets while literally the cost of living here has soared and is about to get much worse. fucking greedy cunts.

I thinks I've figured out jAsE — the elusiveness, obscurity, secrecy, continuous re-spawning is to hide that it's really "Jeff Atwood, Stack Exchange" 🤔

Once upon a time, received a call whose intro was "I have a new production machine and I want to set up the Exchange server."

Person wanted to set up Outlook on a new personal computer.

Terminology can be dangerous.

I was having this poetic exchange with the maintainer of a vscode extension.
I guess he didn't see it coming... 😛👨‍💻

I got a kindle paper as a hand me down gift. And I feel I'm reading so much more than before, now!

I'm starting a new small novel
A Wrinkle in Time, I'll be reading alongside my girlfriend.

I'm 52% done with a book called
Python Tricks: The Book
Literally coolest book I've touched. Contains a bunch of different tidbits about the language, granted most of them confirmed my understanding, but it's still neat to read and learn about them in a more rigorous setting.

I'm 13% done with another book called
How to Day Trade for a Living
I'm heading for the crypto currency exchange, but with a catch,
I'm reading another book called
Genetic Algorithms with Python
You can probably already guess where I'm heading.

I feel armed with more knowledge and I feel like this is a really great way to start the New Year off.

What's this erogant world?

Someone asked a question in Stack Exchange, he put his design of a school management database and asked for suggestions.
Well, there are many things to improve, relations and data types etc..

BUT, he got 10 very long answers about why every student has exactly a father and a mother, why not 2 mothers and 3 fathers and all some off topic talks that could be said in 1 line..
Like what the... ok we know you're gay but answer the question without being an attention greedy

I'm not sure if it's a software or ethical error that we are dealing here. Btw, this is a legit question on stack exchange network.

Ever open a mail with a body consisting only of "can you look into this?" before noticing a mail exchange is attached, and in it is a week long discussion about an issue new to you where someone has said on your behalf that it will be fixed by the end of the day?

If I'm lucky I might know if someone - and if so, who - is working (or has worked) on that aspect of the system by the end of the day.

There are no words in any language I know that will sufficiently describe how nonexistent the chances are in any of the infinite amount of parallel alternate universes where I implement and deploy a fix by the end of the day.

But sure, I'll look into it.

Had to bring up some issues with my instructor to the school, and forgot to print out emails hosted on their Exchange server that show the issue in detail. When I logged in, every email had mysteriously disappeared from my account, but because I document everything about this horseshit school locally, I could still show the exported emails.

The instructor?
Head of IT.

The bastard tried to hide the evidence, but fuck him, Document Everything.

Yay ...hello all I'm new to Devrant. And I am loving it, community here is vibrant,funny and geeky :).I was at stack exchange, considering switching to devrant :)

My Senior Just asked me not to copy from stack exchange and his wife (Also my senior) suggested to copy from stack exchange to reduce work load. Wtf I am supposed to do🥲

Shit man if I thought that S.O for developers was bad.....Stack Exchange Mathematics is just fucking brutal omg I am loling so bad man these dudes have 0 patience and will legit kill trolls on spot.

Saw a dude not agreeing with implicit meanings behind certain symbolic notations, some other dude disagreed, fight ensured.

This shit is awesome. Ima stick with this shit for a while.

S.O still fucking sucks though. The stack is amazing and the app works fantastic. The people there are shitty beyond belief.

"Well, you probably said that beca...." fuck off

Top three reasons why I love to code:

1) People will think you are a wizard and feel so afraid of you that they call you nerd and give you a office in a cold basement (especially good in summer times)

2) Your friends call you for every problem they have with their computer and will give you a few bucks or beers in exchange.

3) You can rant about technical stuff and no matter how unfounded the rant is, your non-tech friends will believe everything you say.

First it was the "set up WampServer so the client can use our database", to which I told her we should use an embedded database, to which she told me to do.

Then the "Just give the client a .jar file and install the JRE in his laptop" to wich I told her we can make a native installer, to which she fucking assigned to me.

Then the whole fucked up management thing with no design whatsoever and the "we don't need version control".

To just a few hours earlier, when she got mad because I set up a Slack for us to exchange information easily, she told me she was already mad because I shared the project by Google Drive and that she worked in security and knows the risk... AND AT THE SAME TIME, she uses Gmail to share the project.. BRILLIANT !

Step 1. Learn to code .
Step 2. Exchange code for money.
Step 3. Exchange money for car, soap & a clean shirt.
Step 4. Profit.
[GOTO: Step #1]

Lol. OK on a serious note coding improved my love life, it drastically reduced the frequency of dates - but dramatically improved the quality and duration of my relationships.
I used to believe that anyone/thing had the potential to be great - and (like me) all they needed was a little time to seize an opportunity.
This essentially meant there were no deal breakers and I spent a lot of time giving people benefit of the doubt and investing a lot of time & effort supporting and trying to build on aspirations that would turn out to simply be fantasies I was indulging.

I still idealistically believe that everything/one has infinite potential - only now I know which problems are worth solving, which are purely for fun or a thought experiment and which should immediately be thrown out and refactored.

All the ambition in the world is void without drive.

*posts some answers on Quora*
*gets flagged by moderator cunt for using my nickname, one that I've been using on that account for 3 years*

WELL THANK YOU QUORA FOR THE APPRECIATION!! I'll TOTALLY contribute some fucking more next time!!! You know what, whoever flagged my account? Exchange your lube for bleach, and go fuck yourself with a cactus. Don't forget to use the new lube! Pour it in that glory hole like there's no tomorrow! Fucking piece of shit.

"we have add a lot of cost partly due to currency exchange rate, but we also added some services and servers, we'll have a meeting and see what we can cancel or re-arrange."

So now....
- JIRA is gone
- SEO tools are gone
- budget for site security & SSL undecided
- Servers are too expensive.
$800 for twelve 2-24gb ram servers with backup, I call that bargain

Can't wait to see the websites falling apart. Now where are my popcorns?

So after 7years of sound engineering, I started working as an intern in a startup company which does "anything" for money.
( Sending me to a seminar for taking photos of our customers is also in the list. )
Yesterday, I managed to grasp the basics of node and web sockets to build a simple chat app in order to satisfy boss' needs for a small website. He wanted to add it as a feature and assigned it to me as a task but it turns out nobody has any idea about putting it online. Seems like I still have lot to do.
Thing is, this is my 3rd month and I already started making no sense to anyone when I try to exchange information about coding/programming and latest technologies which we should encountered long ago. I am happy to experience and learn different things but I am feeling really alone.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for boosting me with amazing real life experiences and supporting my career changing decision even without knowing.

Have fun ranting!

I don't understand privacy advocators.

Am I the only one who wouldn't give up practicality in exchange for "potentially more secure"?

I don't understand so much what the deal is with people who avoid Facebook, or don't trust Google or Microsoft, just in the basis of "privacy" or "security".

Websites tracking you to serve ads? Well, it's pointless because I very rarely buy something from the internet or let myself be influenced, ads are waste of time, just use an adblocker.

I can pretty much upload my whole life or documents on Google drive, even if I made it public no one would really care or read it all. It's like that GitHub project you uploaded but never documented, so no one cares. I usually use alternative software not because of "privacy" but because it has features other software doesn't have.

In reality you realize people aren't that interested in your life more than their own life.

Not dev related.

I am fucking tired of the house buying process in the England. Honestly it is such shambles that I don't think I have ever encountered anything like this. Nothing is ever predictable, everything and everone works at random timescale and nobody gives a fuck of you as a buyer even if you are paying crazy money. Apparently we are meant to be moving next Monday but contracts haven't been exchanged, my mortgage broker gave incorrect solicitors details to the bank so they are having to redo some paperwork, the buyer of our current place has not responded for last week to confirm the date, the seller we are buying from has been jumping up and down to exchange and here I am with no certainty.

My anxiety and frustration levels are through the roof for last 10 days. I can't wait for it all to be over. I don't think I am ever buying another house unless the process changes. Just needed to vent my frustration somewhere

Hey guys, Been a while...
Quick status update
Moved out of my parent's house
Now a lead backend engineer at a crypto exchange.
Getting offers from startups without even applying, just referrals
Still underpaid by global standards but very comfortable locally.

1year+ of financial stability

Lots of motivation from the lovely people here when I started out, I'm grateful

dev: “I want to start working on [feature]”

Me: “I already started to work on it, sorry for not mentioning it, we need specs from design team before I can go on, but I’d suggest going for another task meanwhile”

Manager: “noooo design is very very busy, [dev] will take care of it.”

Me: “[dev] still needs specs from the design team... and I am half done with it so no real point in re-writing the same code I wrote”

Manager: “just trust me, we do this and [dev] takes care of it.”

*me and [dev] look at each other perplexed and just nod to the manager cause it’s Thursday and the fucks to give are over*

... am I actually a patient in an asylum? I question my sanity after this exchange of words.

Developing a notification API, sends emails to subscribers, email API can take only 100 IDs at once, so partitioned the email list and send mails in blocks of 100.

Forgot to reset the list after every block, so each new partition got appended to the existing list and kept going on.

Ran it against a test DB, which was recently refreshed with near-prod data !!! Thousands of emails went out of the app server in one shot and everybody receiving numerous duplicate emails. Especially the ones in the very first partition.

Got an incident raised by the CEO himself reg the flurry of emails. But, things were out of our hands, quite literally. All emails are queued up in the exchange server.

Called up the exchange server team, purged​ the queued emails. No other emails were sent/received during this whole episode.

Thanks to Iterables.partition in the present day.

Ask fairly technical SEO question on Stack Exchange. Only response is a comment telling me it's be easier to do it differently and use HTML instead of Javascript.

What's the lastest Stack Exchange "Hot Network Question" you clicked for absolutely had no reason? Me:

So, I am feeling low in life. I want to do so many things and not a single one is going as planned. On top of that Bitcoin has taken a plunge and my funds are stuck with a shitty exchange and I cannot withdraw till tomorrow.
Le a github issue appears and I am thinking what went wrong now. I had added a few new features to the app which would have broken the old configurations. So, I ask this guy to re-configure and test.
After about 2 hours I get a reply from the guy saying "Thanx for the great new features and for creating this great open source project!!!"
This made my day. And I am thinking Life's good. Life is so easy and we make it so difficult for us. The first thing I am doing after this review is write this rant. Now back to work.

Last night I had a very strange dream. I should point out in advance, all of this is fictional and none of it really happened.

I was looking at an answer I posted on Stack Exchange.. for the sake of argument, let's say it was Super User. I remember the question being about volume limiting, which is actually an issue I and many other iOS 14.2/14.3 users have been facing in the last few months. Apparently it has been partially addressed in 14.4.

In the real world I fixed the issue by jailbreaking the phone and unloading the healthd service, while in the dream that was the answer I had documented on Super User. In reality I have documented it in several other places, but not there.

Fast-forward a couple of days in the dream where the answer was posted, and I was now looking at a reply. I don't remember the exact details of it, but apparently in the answer I had posted something about my network.. a screenshot from the iPhone? And the comment on it basically said something along the lines of "your answer is shit, and you probably have a very basic internet connection with default settings". I was really upset by that, as my network is actually quite advanced (on account of being a sysadmin).

Then I woke up and realized that it was all just a dream...

Diffie–Hellman key exchange is not allowed in this area. For your convenience, an SSL stripper was placed on to every near network.

You know you're in bad shape when Google gives you an Experts Exchange answer and Stack Overflow is nowhere in sight.

Just had a fierce exchange of texts with the boss cause I couldn't make it today cause of some family issues.

To quit or not to quit is the question?

Welcome to the Unix stack exchange network where ...

FUCK YOU! I AM THE UNIX KING AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I KNOW

Legacy tech be like:

"The connection to this site uses TLS 1.0 (an obsolete protocol), RSA (an obsolete key exchange), and AES_128_CBC with HMAC-SHA1 (an obsolete cipher)."

To my dear friends complaining about GDPR, if companies providing free services in exchange for users data didn't fuck up completely, there wouldn't be any GDPR. In history, regulations always come after people fuck ups, uncle Bob has some nice talks about that.

When you are all alone at office, stuck with tons of work, nothing to cheer up, browsing every single keyword because you are dumbest person and with millions tabs opened up in multiple windows..

This shows up with a light mood to cheer you up...

I missed to mention that this guy may be working late, but is super lazy to take a screenshot and copy to mobile.

I had the old "got this great product I've developed, but can't afford a website, could you do it in exchange for a percentage of profits?"
Look, it's your product, I have had no say in its development, or quality or how you market it etc. I do websites and the website will do exactly what you want it to do. I couldn't give a fuck wether you sell one or a million. It's not my risk. Pay me for a site and I'll do it.

Probably when I heard about (as it was then) this new fangled "internet" thing going around.

Suddenly computers weren't isolated individuals, or networks, but had the power to talk to *other* computers as well, and exchange information with each other, and then take decisions and action based on that information - even talking to other computers in turn!

The potential for what this could do blew my mind a bit as a kid - and I'm not sure anyone, myself included, even then understood anywhere close to what the full impact would be in a few decades time.

The moment you shorten Stack Exchange to S-Exchange.

When I think "the fundamental problem", the closest thing that comes to my mind is "unsolvable problem". P =/!= NP is a fundamental problem, the theory of everything is a fundamental problem.

But we actually solved at least one such problem – the fundamental problem of cryptography.

The problem was "how to establish a secure connection over a non-secure channel?" Like you can't exchange the key, it'll be exposed by definition.

We solved it with a simple yet brilliant solution of asymmetrical cypher, that thing with public and private keys.

It's fascinating to think that people died in WW2 over this, there were special operations to deliver fresh deciphering keys securely and now SSH and HTTPS are no-brainers that literally everyone use.

We have been given two Spanish exchange students for 10 weeks. We are a UK based creative agency, the minor issue being they don't speak a word of English, so there is a significant language barrier.

What would people recommend for a way to help them learn some basic languages e.g HTML, CSS etc.. with such a significant language barrier.

(Already tried Google translating everything)
With my strong Yorkshire accent, my Spanish doesn't come out too great 👌

An identity platform where you can find each other, get the other's public key and preferred contact method. And the entire key exchange and choice of contact method are negotiated automatically. No vendor lock in, encryption happens on your own device. Effortlessly and securely communicating, no searching for skype name, email, phone number, setting up shit. It would just work.

I asked a question on stack exchange. Wish me luck!

Many years ago, I wrote an app for a company to provision users in AD and Exchange. It disabled 10k users and no one could work. Good times.

Diffi-Hellman is actual magic. You can exchange keys over an unencrypted channel and end up with guarenteed unique keys, on which you can start a secure channel

Like how??

so uhh, i asked a question on the crypto stack exchange, and it got -1 score, but 1 favorite.

🤔

Pasta company stocks grow 40% today.
Whole stock exchange rate of return is -40%.

1 pasta company stock is now worth 7.5 energy company stock.

when I was like 11yrs. old, my father has bought a new phone for himself. I used to play a lot of gta vice city those days on my PC. one day i got to use a card reader to exchange multimedia between PC and the phone.
so, i copied gta vice city in my phone. bcoz i knew that i can move around the players using the phone's d-pad. I was left broken when I saw the error msg. in the phone: "file not recognised"
:-/
After few days, my friend wanted to play gta-vc, so he asked for the game CD. but this guy didn't have a computer in his home and he won't listen to me when I try to tell him, "you can't just play a video game in your DVD-player with a TV remote??" So, I gave it to him.
Next day, he was angry at me, bcoz the game didn't worked, obviously it was me who hve messed something in it. :-/

What utterly stupid things you guys or your friends have done?

So my first dev job has ended up as fucking dat entry after one of the contractors got bored and left.

I’m an SQL Developer (at least that is my job title) and all I do is fuck around with exchange rates in spreadsheets.

The only “proper” development work they gave me hasn’t even been applied to the test server yet (should have been done over a month ago)

And the project they gave me to look into migrating from sourcesafe to GitLab has ground to a halt.

I’ve been here 4 months and I want to quit already, that must be a record (for me at least)

I was keen an full of energy, willing to do some work from home etc. But a little piece of me dies every time i open Excel

hackathons are just 24 hour contracts where you test some company’s api in exchange for free redbull

We got new workstations today and the following happened:

Me: We got your new workstation but your screen doesn't have the right input to use it, so we'll exchange it too.

Her: No! I love that monitor!

Me: Well you won't be able to use the computer if you don't wanna change it.

Her: There has to be a different way!

Me: Okay I'm going to get some adapters and we'll try again.

After literally 30 minutes of searching I finally made it work.

VGA->DVI->HDMI->DisplayPort

That just felt so wrong.

Me: So it works now

Her: Thanks but why does it look so bad?

Me: It's because of the old monitor.

Her: Oh... *10 seconds silence* Then I'll get a new one.

Funny how people freak out when I offer free stuff (in exchange for feedback) as I introduce myself as the CEO.
But when I tell them that I'm a developer, they all accept it without a single doubt.

Since I'm doing both, I can call myself whatever, but this just shows how little trust people have towards management of ANY company. So I can't really blame them.

CEOs, please stop being fucking greedy and do something that can change the life of at least one person in a positive way.

My vision for this startup is to produce as many opportunities for people so that they can feed their family and have a place to call home.

Edit: I've seen this one CEO buy an expensive car on company lease when he received an investment. Guess what his employee told me next. I fucking LOL'd.

!rant
The best experience I had as a student was attending a few masters degree classes at a computational arts course, it was awesome being the only developer in the middle of a lot of art graduated students who were learning to code. Awesome exchange experience, final projects were art exhibitions with interactive art. We used Arduinos, Rpi, Openframeworks, Processing. I miss that and I still think that my dream job will look like that.

My least successful project was:

social network for student exchange. I did it for the student organization that after launch decided that they really don't need that and shut it down.

Idea was for students to subscribe to internships of their interest (for example 'developer internship') and then they get notifications when someone from the network publish internship within subscribed interests.

bae: hey,do you know where did the word 'oops' came from?
me: object oriented programming? 😋
bae: no, its from the noises that we naturally make when we slice our palm with the Night Cheese knife 😝
me:(quick search on the stack exchange app meanwhile) 😑 it's an alteration of upsy-daisy blah blah
and then she's like GOOD NIGHT!
😂😂

1. Kill Internet Explorer
2. Kill anyone who sell their web/app/design services cheaply that broke the market value
3. Kill anyone who want something in exchange of "exposure" or "you'll get the money when we get funding or IPO" or some shit like that, you name it.

One of my hobbies is to repair stuff.

In front of me is a Xiaomi Notebook air 13.3", a very nicely build device.

But it's driving me nuts, the screen is completely glued onto the front glass.
How the fuck am I supposed to exchange that display with a new one?

The main problem with those devices seems to be the display-cable in the hinge.
It might short 3.3V to 19V backlight, killing the display, the hdmi controller and the audio-chip.

2 ez fixes so far, but that fucken display.
And the absolute worst is that there are 0 official replacement parts available for any of the Xiaomi notebook's.
The fuck!

So, my job title is sql Developer, but recently I’ve been balls deep in A .Net application, not an issue, but there is a huge learning curve.

Anyway, earlier in the year I spent about 2-3 months manually entering price list and exchange rates into our ERP system. I proposed an app to help make this process easier, boss was happy so I knocked up a 20+ page software design document, covered everything, and laid out a road map I.e v1 would just be MVP, and additional nice to have features would be added incrementally.

Boss didn’t read the document, and didn’t mention it again.

5 months later I get an invite to a meeting to discuss my progress, which is this afternoon.

It was always going to be something I worked on in my spare time, so I currently have 5 models to show her.

Why not mention something for months and then ask for a progress update out of the blue?

My boss isn’t a dev so will just bury them in technical details which she doesn’t really need to know

Hi. I would like a hamburger. Would you like cheese? No. I would like a hamburger with no cheese. Ok. Wait here 15 minutes and I'll give you a hamburger with cheese.

It's the same everywhere... image assets... project managers... node packages... almost every exchange I have - is with someone who isn't present and cannot deliver what they promise.

Huge thanks to the other people who follow through.

I work for a cryptocurrency exchange as a senior developer - I'm pretty much one of the key people keeping the lights on in terms of backend and operational functions.

Yet I'm sitting in the bank trying to extend my credit card limit, just to makes ends meet.

after few months of working in the company, I was offered to trade off my weekends in exchange for increase of salary. I said hell no, I would go crazy.

winter holidays we had removed... thankfully for money increase.

all next holidays were often just removed... without money increase.

next week is going to be official week of holidays. all in our country are going to have paid days off / vacation. It was declared by our president. 2 days of holidays were extended to 5 due to COVID break.

I wonder, how hard it would be for us to get those days as vacation %
we would have to ask for VACATION days in OFFICIAL HOLIDAY DAYS!. Hell, we had never had real vacation yet, and we are just wishing to have official holiday days remaining being holidays.

Urgh. I understand that I get pretty good salary for my first work, but still wishing quite a lot for holidays, should I press for it? *sigh*

on another hand I don't really want salary decrease, which can come if I would press for it *sad face*.

Community that link between experts and new traders to exchange signals in the crypto-currency trading world

anyone else paranoid when it comes to privacy? i'm already deleting my stack exchange accounts after realising that whatever I do there would be hard to delete. i keep googling myself. this is crazy.

Poll: I see a lot of Windows users here, naturally as it's the dominant OS. I do wonder how many of you dev's that would be willing to accept lower compensation in exchange for instead working in Linux?

Just learnt that Stack Exchange servers are using Windows servers with IIS. Codebase written in C# (probably ASP .NET). Not sure how I feel about this.

Hey guys.
Have a look at, and be mesmerized
sunshinehostelfoz.com

Offered to redo the page in exchange for one night, let's see what they say.
Btw anyone knows what bullshit was this build up on? Can't check the code on phone.

Sometimes I commit fixes for issues on my crypto exchange api repos without testing them and tell the issue author to test it themselves because "I don't have api keys for the respective api" to test it.

I'm fully registered on every exchange from here to Japan. 🙄

Such a good community in Stack Exchange...

And Linus goes best GPU under 500$ bla bla bla. In other countries, you times that price by the exchange rate, then tax, and fuck it's 2k. And I make like 3k per month as a dev. That's not even 1k USD..

!rant from a support guy

I was tasked to migrate an Exchange 2003 server (yes, those are still used) for an upcoming Office 365 deployment. There are no direct upgrade path from one another, as far as we know

My task was to export PSTs from mailboxes. Great, a native tool exist for that in 2003 (exmerge). But only for less than 2 GB mailboxes because ANSI/Unicode! Half of our mailbox busts that limit. Oh, it seems Exchange 2007 has a PowerShell command for exporting to PST as well! But pre-SP3, that command relies on a local installation of Outlook on the server (DAFUQ), and has been superseded by another "standalone" powershell command. So I install a bogus Windows 2012 server only for that purpose, with Exchange Management Tools (which, by the way, is bundled with the Exchange installation setup and REQUIRES to have IIS installed on the target machine. Also, if you install ONLY the Exchange 2007 Management Tools and wish to uninstall them afterwards, you can't because the uninstaller wants me to select an Exchange Role to remove, which are all unchecked in my tools-only setup). Never worked, and Google-fu says that the newer Exchange 2007 New-MailboxExportRequest command seems to have removed Exchange 2003 support.

So i'm back to installing a pre-SP3 Exchange 2007. Then the older Export-Mailbox powershell command whines about 64bits and 32bit incompatiblity-- actually I ***HAVE*** to have the whole OS/software stack 32bit ONLY. Don't ask me why!

Some article I found says I could fire up an XP virtual machine for that, I go for Win 7 x86. "Sorry, Microsoft Exchange won't be installed on a workstation environment because reasons." All right then, let's go for an old Windows Server 2003 x86. Have you tried to boot this up in an Hyper-V environment where mouse and keyboard support for Windows Server 2003 are apparently optional? No keyboard AND mouse events sent to the guest machine at all.

* Sigh *, let's use a Windows Server 2008, but WATCH OUT! Microsoft has discontinued x86 support on their W2008 R2 release, so non-R2 for me. Even then, mouse event wasn't sent until I installed guest additions.

After all, export-mailbox ended up working, but that costed me two days of banging my head against the wall. (Oh, and I take internal calls inbetween as well...)

And that's why I aspire to be a programmer. Thank you for nothing, Microsoft!

I really miss having a team. Don't get me wrong, right now I do what I love and I got into a position where I can actually do Quality Assurance instead of just testing and I enjoy being able to actually change things instead of just repeating what problems there are and acting surprised when the same processes produce the same bugs over and over again but I really hope that we'll interview anything else than mouthbreathers soon.

I'm aware of the fact that QA isn't sexy and that few people who could become "Software ninja Rockstars" choose to go into it but can it be that hard to find at least two or three people who can write and read code at least on a junior level and understand how web protocols work? I get the feeling my entire branch is nothing but shit talkers clicking around blindly on pages.

I just want to exchange ideas again, come up with innovative tools, tweaking processes, learning from and teaching each other while we watch the entire operation get more and more efficient.

I came to the abandoned stock exchange to scour the ground for valuables left behind by dead brokers who killed themselves here. Watches, golden lighters, jewelry — all wanted to no one. I didn't care about where they came from. I was okay with wearing an old watch that I pulled off a skeleton hand.

Brittany had been missing for a while now. She lost custody of her kids, but everyone knew that was because Lake Mead turned them into calcified sculptures that got progressively tinier and tinier. Her though? Not so much. She was crying while fiddling with Lego-sized figurines of what was her children. “I don't care what anyone else says, I'm gonna make it right for you, because I FUCKING have a PURPOSE!”
The detached palm of my once school friend gripped mine. Couldn't get it off with force, so I stuck it you know where — I think he was disgusted, but his palm ran away quickly.
Another friend — uni friend now — was interested in making as much gesheft as he could during the semester. He had it on his reel-to-reel recorder. He didn't want to share his insights, but $500 made him talk. He was disgusted, though, as bills had my saliva on them. In exchange, I got the ability to pump whatever music I liked in the lecture room, as it was now mine. I didn't have to study — I already had a job. My uni was my coworking.
The last floor featured the room of nineteen Neins — a foot buttons that, when pressed in the correct order — will reveal the rape bathroom. It was huge and outdoorsy.

experts-exchange.com

Am I the only one who read it like

expert-sexchange.com

I have been working on IoT projects for last five years. After using MQTT in many of my projects I have realized that there is a huge learning curve for the beginners to understand and implement MQTT in their projects. The packet structure of MQTT is complex and MQTT packets are difficult to debug. Also customizing the open source MQTT brokers are also difficult for the beginners, and sometimes even for the experts.

To make IoT and Messaging simple, I am designing a new protocol which uses JSON packets for data exchange and is far less complex than MQTT. I am also developing an open source project which will contain a server (with load balancer support), a python client, a Javascript client and a python based load balancer. I hope this project will reduce the development time as the protocol is easy to understand and the open source code is fully modular & easy to customize.

This will be my very first contribution to the open source community. Wish me luck!

!rant
Digging though my old emails found this joke sent to me long time ago. Think that originally was posted in a 1997 issue of Computerworld. Maybe you already suffered the effect of the "Opcodes" listed here. Hope that !tl;dr

ARG Agree to Run Garbage
BDM Branch and Destroy Memory
CMN Convert to Mayan Numerals
DDS Damage Disk and Stop
EMR Emit Microwave Radiation
ETO Emulate Toaster Oven
FSE Fake Serious Error
GSI Garble Subsequent Instructions
GQS Go Quarter Speed
HEM Hide Evidence of Malfunction
IDD Inhale Dust and Die
IKI Ignore Keyboard Input
IMU Irradiate and Mutate User
JPF Jam Paper Feed
JUM Jeer at Users Mistake
KFP Kindle Fire in Printer
LNM Launch Nuclear Missiles
MAW Make Aggravating Whine
NNI Neglect Next Instruction
OBU Overheat and Burn if Unattended
PNG Pass Noxious Gas
QWF Quit Working Forever
QVC Question Valid Command
RWD Read Wrong Device
SCE Simulate Correct Execution
SDJ Send Data to Japan
TTC Tangle Tape and Crash
UBC Use Bad Chip
VDP Violate Design Parameters
VMB Verify and Make Bad
WAF Warn After Fact
XID eXchange Instruction with Data
YII Yield to Irresistible Impulse
ZAM Zero All Memory

So... in the last few months i shared the office with a real estate company. I didnt pay rent and in exchange i would help them with different stuff.... on monday i will be moving into my own office again... damn it was a hard period of time and i want to thank devRant for helping me keep my sanity. THANK YOU!

Does anyone else find Stack Exchange exhausting?

I start off feeling shit that I don't know how to solve my problem.... Then after asking on Stack, I end up feeling shit that I can't even ask a valid question!

Seriously, 80% of the effort is spent by everyone telling me it's a shit question, or off topic, or somehow wasn't asked in the correct way!

So I'm on my morning stroll. Walking, enjoying, watching the world around me.. It's nice how cherries blossom. They smell very tempting to stop there and enjoy the moment. Some flowers under the cherry...

Why do plants blossom again? Oh yeah, that's right, to exchange some speciments in order to grow fruit and seeds. To have their offspring. Just like every other living macroorganism [with a few exceptions ofc]. Life has no other way to survive but to exchange genetic material between two parties and only then trigger growth of the new life.

And that is a very strict rule. No more, no less: it takes exactly 2 organisms to make new life. But why is that? If my memory serves, theory of evolution says that life is like business: cut the losses and let the profits run. Over time it discards everything not required for the organism in order to save energy, and only successful new "investments" remain in the genome. The unsuccessful ones die before they proliferate, so the bad genes shall not survive.

It also says that very simple things, very simple changes lead to very complex outcomes. Us. Life.

But what is simple about life having to need 2 other lives? Exactly 2. It's either simple or efficient, depends on perspective. BUT IT IS NOT BOTH. Look at cells. They just split in half and multiply. Dead simple. It takes one of them to make another one. But with mammals, birds, reptiles, plants and other macroorganisms [excpt fungi] this is not the case! Why?!? I can't think of any scenario where two generic microorganisms, following some dead simple mutations, would come up w/ something that inefficient and overly complex. Like they're living on their own, multiplying by division, and smth very simple happens and they can no longer divide, only mate in pairs. The primitive, efficient and simple mechanism gets terminated and replaced with a different one, incredibly complex one!

Sure, we have protozoa which have similar reproductive mechanisms. They exchange genetic material to multiply.

But look at our, human cells. They dont need that! Look at some reptiles, some plants that only take one to make another. They don't pair as well! It's simple. Efficient. Why do protozoa need 2 for the species to survive?

It's not simple and efficient [tho helps us adapt, but its not my point for now]. See, things like this make ne wonder. What if we, the life, are not as accidental as we think? What if this whole mechanism was set off by someone or something billions of years ago? That's mean there are much older, much more superior cognitive organisms than us. What if protozoa was version 3 of new life [the first two did not survive]? Viruses - v2? Sea creatures - v3, reptiles - v4, and so on until they came up with us, mammals? That'd surely mean we are not alone in this universe. Are they watching us? Will they create a new species any time soon? What's our purpose, are we just an experiment?

And so, from cherry blossoms to existensial dilemma, my stroll is over. Time for breakfast :)

Started a new contract:
Dev: "here, take this draft document containing a rough explanation of the requirements and write this service that exchange messages with these two subsystems"
Me 😐"ok"

-- couple weeks later --

Dev: "oh btw, you should go through ALL the fields in those messages described in the 'documentation' and double check them because we use millimeters and they use meters, we measure milliseconds and they use seconds. You should handle conversions when you deal with those messages"

Me (in my mind): "fucking son of a bitch! Why didn't you tell me this little piece of information at the beginning so I could have accounted for that instead of bloating the code now with your spaghetti style, full of horrible hacks, ifs and workarounds?
Me 😐: "sure, I will"

(don't worry, in the end I managed to find a clean solution for that 😉)

That moment when you have to exchange data with another system using XML-Files serval hundred MBs in size instead of a proper REST API (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

New Marketing Person: [via slack] Hey! I left a comment on the JIRA ticket. I didn’t know how to tag you so I’m messaging you here to make sure you see it.

Me: [slack] Ok, thanks for letting me know. It works the same way it does in slack. Type “@“ followed by a name.

Me: [inner monologue] 🙄 You could have also just Googled it instead of expending energy and time on this slack exchange.

Same person leaves another JIRA comment later… and doesn’t tag me…Why do I even bother to be helpful…

One that understands one's need for distraction-free work area in exchange for producing quality. Also, encourages research, uptraining, and learning.

For chrissakes, the Stackasses on Stack Overflow have, in their typical fashion, downvoted my question instead of attempting to answer it.

I seriously need help with coding a PyQt5 wizard I made in Qt Designer. I’m so sick of fucking around with these idiots.

Can someone point me somewhere PRODUCTIVE where I might get some help? Looking at Experts Exchange and wondering if they have the necessary expertise. Getting to the point where I’m actually thinking of shelling out money. But I’d much rather just find a good online community or something.

TIA

So I was thinking about SSL and trying to understand it (random thought that just came up while eating lunch). I came up with this analogy, not sure if maybe I've heard it before... Is this understanding correctly?

A and B want to send letters but make sure no one other than them can get in on the conversation or impersonate them.

Each is able to create a pen and glasses that must be used to see the ink.

So when they first connect, they exchange the pens.

So even if a middle man can duplicate the pen he can't actually read what anyone is saying. And if he tried to write something, the receiver will know it's not sent by the other since it makes no sense. So they then write a new letter and agree to send each other new pens and use new glasses?

EML and MIME files can go straight to the top of Go Fuck Yourself Mountain and fall off a fucking cliff into the Sea of Eat Shit and Die.

I was so happy when Facebook introduced standalone Messenger web app so I wouldn't get so easy distracted from work by Facebook. Well guess what, I'm getting a new addiction in exchange: reading devRant

When I attend MIT as the only exchange student.

Pink Floyd:

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

Led Zeppelin:
Mommy mommy MOMMY MOMMY BABE BABE BABE BABY BABY BABY MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA BABY YEEEEEEEAAA MY LOVE MY LOVE MAMA MAMA BABY BABY

It took me literally 2 hours to implement a reset password function.
I should go to bed.. But I hop to catch a good friend of mine when she wakes up and exchange some messages, but who knows..

I am amazed this is still going.

I remember Google showing results for this for most technical questions. My experience encountering a paywall.

Stack Exchange may be very unfriendly to use, but it is miles better than this.

Group assignment: writing a own Java logger component in a group of four, using nothing else than Java SE libraries, Maven and Jenkins. The software must be able to substitute the logger component without recompilation, just by editing the config.xml (setting jar file path and fully qualified class name of the logger).
I asked around on Slack which group is ready for a component exchange, so that we could test the switch. I found another group and I started doing some testing.

Then I got a `java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError: org/apache/log4j/Logger`. I got in touch with my peer from the other group and asked him, if they've been using log4j. Apparently they did, so I told him that the assignment was to write a logger of one's own, not just using log4j. Then he told me: "Uh, ok, I'm going to tell the guy responsible for the logger part about that..."

X-D

In my country there is a huge economy deflation.
Like 1 year ago 1USD used to be 1500 pounds.
Nowadays 1USD is more like 7800 pounds.

Wait a second let me explain more into details the whole flow.

There are 3 to 4 prices we are being dealing with:
* Official Bank price that refuse to change the base price: 1500 pounds
* Bank ATM machines that exchange your dollars on a 3900 pounds per usd
* Black market: 7800 pounds managed by random mobile apps that spread rumors
* Foreigners currency: the only way to grab your reach dollars.

Long story short:
Whenever you want to win extra cash, you ask any of your relatives to lend you money from any bank in the world ( foreigners currency), try to ask in black market who is willing to exchange, you meet, you check on any mobile app what's the current price and you do the exchange.

So in order buy USD dollars on a low price, devs build 2 mobile apps one that send a POST request to change the amount in DB and a second one fo retrieve this value.
So whenever he want to buy dollars he change the value to the lowest. And whenever you want to sell the dev raise the amount slowly. So far the government has no regulations over developers why? Because the one behind the forensic are at least 60 to 70 years old more like their informations are dead.

So we struggle.

Crypto Derivatives Exchange | It will be awesome to find here some creative recommendations from DevRant Community

I thing anybody will agree. Just whisper these words slowly: "Microsoft. Exchange. Server."
Just no.

I just discovered the code golf stack exchange. I had no clue this even existed.

I am fascinated, scared, but fascinated.

Moving from a G-Suite company to one that uses Exchange 2016 is like stepping into a shiny time machine with only one working gear... reverse.

Spam filtering is as primitive as classified ads in print newspapers.
Outlook Web is as primitive as using a printed phone book.

I haven't seen this crap since 2004 and it appears NOTHING has changed since then.

!rant

I am so stupid today that I actually go to foreign exchange and asked them wether do they accept bitcoin.

I have been working on IoT projects for last five years. After using MQTT in many of my projects I have realized that there is a huge learning curve for the beginners to understand and implement MQTT in their projects. The packet structure of MQTT is complex and MQTT packets are difficult to debug. Also customizing the open source MQTT brokers are also difficult for the beginners, and sometimes even for the experts.

To make IoT and Messaging simple, I am designing a new protocol which uses JSON packets for data exchange and is far less complex than MQTT. I am also developing an open source project which will contain a server (with load balancer support), a python client, a Javascript client and a python based load balancer. I hope this project will reduce the development time as the protocol is easy to understand and the open source code is fully modular & easy to customize.

This will be my very first contribution to the open source community. Wish me luck!

LinkedIn is a really nice tool and website... and then there are people who contact you to become the only developer in a new startup and work for free in exchange of company shares, that at this moment are worthless. Wtf

What’s a good CryptoCurrency to start investing in and also what’s your preferred Exchange? 🤔

Does anyone else here have problems on stack exchange with everyone reporting posts!!!!!

Got a scammer on my hook. Ideas welcome to fuck him/her over.

He/she confused me with someone else and messaged me acting as a support person of an exchange. I acted along and s/he is insisting on sharing account details.

Played along like a dumb internet noob and I think I got him to share his fake email id.

Now I'm thinking of ways to extract more details about him via email.

From top of my mind, these are some ideas I have:
- get his IP address
- zip bomb or something like that? But g mail is probably gonna detect that.

Ideally, If I could social engineer him to give his phone number, I could easily report him to police and find his identity.

Have you busted some scammers? Would appreciate some tips.

Took an extremely hard 3d course during my exchange. We started 40. 6 finished the course. The workload was big , but not difficult.

But I lost my virginity and then personal projects made me improve the skills 😊

Wanna make a good outdoor shot but only have a bad camera on hand? No problem!
1. Place the sun into your frame
2. Click it to adjust exposure
3. Shoot
Yes, this limits what you can shoot, as it’s not always possible to keep the sun in the frame. But, in exchange, the sheer amount of light will make your pic _very_ sharp, as if it was engraved, colors will be restrained and balanced on pretty much every camera, noise level will be zero, and a REAL lens flare will serve as a nice finishing touch.

Old one but popped into my mind today,

during 3rd year project, when all computer science students were mixed together,

I wrote the design / implementation doc

had a lot of acronyms as it was a technical course

referenced VS IDE

Idiot on team came along and decided to expand these acronyms

IDE became Intercompany Data Exchange

I lost the plot as he submitted it before i proof read the thing!

*face palm

Hey guys!
my university offers an exchange with a university in Bielefeld!
I have heard lot of you live near it!
what do you think about it?

german people: let's just assume Bielefeld exists...

I got downvoted on stack exchange. What an achievement.

christmas wishlist????? dont give me some of those cute crap, what i really need:
- my other breadboard
- 2TB HDD!!! pls i need to degoogle my life
- wirerap cables
- a new laptop with gr8 specs, good for both programming and gaming pls
- a big whiteboard for my overflowing ideas

id rather have something useful than the usual stuff people give as gifts xd

I saw a thing on the Workplace stack exchange site. This college kid with no in industry experience read the false narrative that "pitting your testers against your developers for bonus money encourages better productivity and bug free code". And thought it sounded good on paper. This worries me in many ways (especially since he wants to make a startup). The first being that he couldn't see how both sides would game the hell out of such a system, which I feel any worthwhile engineer types would easily figure out. The second is seeing money as the major motivating force behind software devs doing their jobs. I had a third but I am tired.

But seriously, who is still writing this bullshit (that article, not the kid's question) in 2016?

I don't know what the devs at ProShow are smoking but I want some. Their product, specifically ProShow Production, is garbo. Don't get me wrong, the stuff is great for making slideshow with effects and stuff but good GOD.

+ If your image's name or the full path to the image contains anything that is not (I think) ASCII, the program will refuse to work with it.
+ If you're using non-English characters for eg. caption ("ẫ" for example) even on a Unicode font that supports that char, it will render a box. You know which box it is. You have to specifically use a font family to have it rendered correctly at the exchange of ugly-ass fonts that has been overused.
+ A majority of keyboard shortcuts are not supported while editing a slide (Ctrl + A, Ctrl + Z being my two favorite).

The best part? I'm forced to use this thing because of time constraints. I'd rather fry my puny 4GB RAM stick and crappy Intel HD Graphics 550 working with Premiere/After Effects than using ProShow. But nooope. ProShow. Fuck you.

Alright so cool story about my idiocy and it’s relationship to Learning Ruby on Rails.

So I decided to start learning ruby and it takes a lot from python(idk which One came first correct me off I’m wrong)
The tutorial I started was using version 4.2 of rails or something and the latest version was 5.1 so me being a fucking idiot continued to install and learn plus I had to open 2 questions on stack exchange that could be solved with an apt-get install command and after 3 days of my understanding what the actual fuck was going on. I reinstalled Mint and got it working.

After JetBrains and sublime text and all my shit was off my NAS I started the tutorial again with everything installed correctly and quit at the 4 minute mark because my bundle install command didn’t work correctly still having trouble and I feel like I should just stick to HTML and CSS

When I found out that the server I use weirdly implements SSH login.
For some very odd reason (probably a historical one,) you have to access the web-app console and press a button TO GRANT SSH ACCESS TO THE F*<KING IP ADDRESS FROM WHICH I PRESSED THE BUTTON. The server blocks the wrong IP addresses outright. And only one active allowed IP at a time. This totally obliterates my plan to perform CD on this server. Why can't I just register public keys?
Then I learned several months later that they introduced a new server plan that *does* support the public-key registration. :facepalm:
I'm divided on whether to change my plan in exchange for a rather significant increase in the monthly cost.

My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.

New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .

Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?

New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.

Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?

New guy: Yes.

Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.

New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.

Question:
My application (web app & mobile app) needs to interface with a users email to read mails for further processing

Is there are library (py, js) or service that I can leverage that abstracts the access to the mail servers (IMAP, POP3, Exchange, Google API, Outlook API etc.) and provides a single interface (possibly REST API) to access the mails?

It feels redundant to implement each of the above methods of email access, as I see it being a feature in many applications out there, but I am not able to find a library or service that provides it.

Any advice or suggestions with implementing each of them is also welcomed

Thanks in advance

Not a dev question but a cultural question for any of the German devs I’ve seen post here.

My American daughter is living in Germany on an exchange student program. She’s frustrated right now because her host dad and host brother are being really rude and impatient with her over her difficulties with speaking the language. She currently writes it better than she speaks but that and her efforts to keep trying don’t seem to matter to them. This conflict spills over into other social interactions. They constantly berate and make fun of her over everything. The host mom and host sister are nicer and more patient. But they also have to put up with this boorish behavior from the males.

On a train ride home, my daughter was sexually propositioned no less than three times in one hour by three different men. And at festivals she went to where there was lots of drinking, it was even worse.

A German exchange student we once had living with us here in the US regularly broke program rules, slept around, and even downloaded child porn on our network (highly illegal and alarming). My wife was the coordinator for many years to govern the students who came here from many countries and we struggle to think of any but one or two German boys who acted like gentlemen toward ladies.

So is it just a “German guy” thing and commonly accepted in the culture? Or is this type of behavior generally frowned upon and these guys are just in a minority of jerks that we keep having the bad luck of running into?

I know the same question can be and is often asked about American men, too. But I’m more interested in knowing how Germans view Germans who act this way.

Email servers on Linux kill me... it was all so simple with hMail or even Exchange on windows 😕

Btfxwss - Python-based WSS client for Cryptocurrency exchange Bitfinex

Spent 2 hours trying to figure out why my program would skip a month of the calender... Decided to google it finally thinking that no one could ever have possibly had this toddler level issue before. *immediately finds solution on stack exchange* goGet.tears(joy);

2 fucking days and I cannot install cuda.
FML.

There is a need for some service which in exchange of money or my soul, installs software without any hassle on my laptop.

Hey guys,

I'm wondering if anyone here has experience with Outlook clients with close to 30 exchange mailboxes.

The software is incredibly unstable and keeps freezing.

I've tried setting the cache period to 1 week to no avail and it's starting to piss off my coworkers...

If anyone has any tips on improving the performance please share them.

Currently running SSD's (850 Evo)
I5-6600 and 8GB of ram.

The bottleneck seems to be the CPU spiking to 80%...

Any help is greatly appreciated.