My "Coding Standards" for my dev team

1.) Every developer thinks or have thought their shit don't stink. If you think you have the best code, submit it to your peers for review. The results may surprise you.

2.) It doesn't matter if you've been working here for a day or ten years. Everyone's input is valuable. I don't care if you're the best damn programmer. If you ever pull rank or seniority on someone who is trying to help, even if it isn't necessarily valid or helpful, please have your resume ready to work elsewhere.

3.) Every language is great and every language sucks in their own ways. We don't have time for a measuring contest. The only time a language debate should arise is for the goal of finding the right one for the project at hand.

4.) Comment your code. We don't have time to investigate what the structure and purpose of your code is when we need to extend upon it.

5.) If you use someone else's work, give them the credit in your comments. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.

6.) If you use flash, you will be taken out back and shot. If you survive, you will be shot again.

7.) If you load jQuery for the sole purpose of writing a simple function, #6 applies.

8.) Unless it is an actual picture, there is little to no reason for not utilizing CSS. That's what it's there for.

9.) We don't support any version of Internet Explorer and Edge other than the latest versions, and only layout/alignment fixes will be bothered with.

10.) If you are struggling with a task, reach out. While you should be able to work independently, it doesn't make sense to waste your time and everyone else's to not seek assistance when needed.

11.) I'm serious about #6 and #7. Don't do it.

Never have I been so furious whilst at work as yesterday, I am still super pissed about going back today but knowing it's only for another few weeks makes it baerable.

I have been the lead developer on a project for the last 3~ months and our CTO is the product owner. So every now and then he decides to just work on a feature he is interested in- fair enough I guess. But everything I have to go and clean up his horrendous code. Everything he writes is an absolute joke, it's like he is constantly in Hackathon mode "let's just copy and paste some code here, hardcoded shit there and forgot about separation of code- it all goes in 1 file".

So yesterday he added a application to the project and instead of reusing a shared data access layer he added an entirely new ORM, which is near identical to the existing ORM in use, for this one application.

Being anal about these things, the first thing I did was delete his shit and simply reference the shared library then refactor a little code to make it compatible.

WELL!! I certainly hit a nerve, he went crazy spamming messages on Slack demanding I revert as it broke ONE SINGLE QUERY that he hadn't checked in (he does 1 huge commit for 10 of everyone else's). I stuck to my principals and explained both ORM's are similar and that we only needed one, the second would cause a fragmented codebase for no benefit whatsoever.

The lead Dev was then forced to come and convince me to revert, again I refused and called out the shit quality of their code. The battle raged on via the public slack group and I could hear colleagues enjoying the heated debate, new users even started joining the group just to get in on mine and the cto's difference of opinion.

I even offered to fix his code for him if he were to commit it, obviously that was not taken well ;).

Once I finally got a luck at the cluster fuck of shit he had written it took me around 5 minutes to fix and I ever improved performance. Regardless he was having none of it. Still the demands to revert continued.

I left the office steaming after long discussions with the lead Dev caught in the middle.

Fortunately my day was salvages with a positive technical discussion that evening at a company with whome I had a job offer from.

I really hate burning bridges and have never left a company under bad terms but this dictator is making me look forward to breaking the news today I will be gone in 4 weeks.

The last person who might have taken offense at this recently quit, so time for a consequence-free rant. I just want to say...

Fuck absolutely every single one of my teammates who quit this year. Fuck your shitty, undocumented spaghetti code from hell that the rest of us will have to rewrite because it's utterly broken and functions mostly on prayer and luck. Fuck the 1000+ git repos we'll have to rename so we can even begin to tell them apart. Fuck your complete lack of any sort of processes or procedures or standards. Fuck the person who hated tickets and decided we could just have hundreds of people ask us for help on Slack whenever they need it. Fuck the people who quit because we got a new manager who told us we need to support the applications we build. Fuck the person who said "I'm leaving because I want to move forwards instead of backwards" as if fixing bugs in the code YOU WROTE TWO WEEKS AGO is really moving backwards. Fuck the two people who designed their own separate pipelines and then used both without bothering to debate and pick the better one (spoiler: both are completely undocumented and broken as hell).

I hope your various new employers figure out that your strategy of covering shit with gold paint doesn't change the smell.

Now the rest of us have to fix it all, and we're probably going to start by demolishing most of it so we can rebuild it from scratch.

Debate (with rant-ish overtones):

FYI, while it is a debate, its a practiseSafeHex debate, which means there is a correct answer, i'm just interested in your responses/thoughts.

Ok lets kick off. So the remote team I work with had an opening for a new iOS developer (unrelated to anything to do with me). They interviewed and hired a guy based off his "amazing" take home challenge.

The challenge consists of 4 screens and was for a senior level position. For the challenge the interviewee created a framework (a iOS library) for each screen, included all the business logic for each screen inside, each one needs to be built separately, exposed some API/functions from each one and then created a main project to stitch it all together.

Now, my opinion is, this is highly unscalable and a ridiculous approach to take as it would add so much unnecessary overhead, for no benefit (I am correct btw).

The interviewee said he did it like this to "show off his skills and to stand out". The remote team loved it and hired him. The challenge said "show us the code standard you would be happy to release to production". I would argue that he has only demonstrated 1 extra skill, and in exchange delivered something that is unscalable, going to be a nightmare to automate and require huge on-boarding and a paradigm shift, for no reason. To me thats a fail for a senior to not realise what he's doing. This person will be required to work alone (in part), make architecture decisions, set the foundation for others etc. Having someone who is willing to just do mad shit to show off, is really not the type of person suited to this role.

Debate!

Theres a debate in my company about whether or not to be using RxSwift on iOS apps. I'm not 100% convinced. Today we had two submissions for a coding challenge come in. One uses nearly all the same Rx modules this company does, one was vanilla Swift.

Just by chance noticed the vanilla app writer contributed ~5k lines of code to the challenge overall. Including libraries, the Rx one contributed ~45k.

That to me is just bat shit crazy. It would want to be the most amazing, time saving, bug reducing thing the world has ever seen to justify that volume of code.

ARGH the next person to tell me how X is the best toolchain is getting their fucking head cut off! Holy fucking shit, this is even more annoying than the whole IDE debate. At least with IDEs everyone has a favourite one and they hate others accordingly, with build toolchains there's always a huge group of fucktards sucking each other's dick by adding new features, and they're always too busy wanking their sparkling features for small projects to realise how fucking inefficient their polished dings and dongs are for any bigger job.

For the millionth time, no, we're not switching to this popular toolchain just because it gave you a blowjob with your pet project (although that would indeed be a tempting offer), so stop talking how fast and flexible it is. Until you can show how it compiles a 500 MB project faster than our current setup, I don't give a shit how many people jerk on that nookie.

So I just got into computer science College after a long period of being exited as all hell. Letting my dreams run wild with all the people that I'll meet and how we'll share information and debate over serious issues. less than a week into college I find out that people don't know shit and some of them are asking : "where are the brackets on the keyboard" while others ask what's the difference between Gmail and mail...............
I was devastated. (still am)

Not quite a rant, but it'll devolve in heated debate anyway 😂.

So I was discussing deployment methods with a client's CTO today.

He was fervent on using git for deployment (as in, checkout/pull directly on target host).

I was leaning more on, build npm and web bullshit on the runner, rsync to target host.

Ideally, build shit in the runner, publish to an artifact/package manager, pull that in the target host.

Of course, there are many variables and pros/cons on each side, but would like to hear your opinion.

Have this iOS maniac/UI guy/hustler at my office. (Refers to my first Rant,he's the fucker who always try to shove his iPhone to my face.) Hats off to him for knowing how to generate passive income and his hustling skill. But I hate that fucker. He always like to start a debate. He's always doing his sidejobs all the time. He sells staff online(even fidget spinner). He also does wedding photo shoots. Heard from a friend, he's a mediocre photographer but gets client by giving his potential clients lower prices than his competitors. He got a few connections and somehow always doing websites for his own client by going to codepen and copy pasting JavaScript from here and there. He doesn't know shit about programming. That fucker doesn't even know about closures. He literally doesn't know shit. Yet try to debate about with us regarding programming (wtf?) Always trying to get us to help him with his side paid jobs -when he encountered an error,he will immediately bug us- sometimes would interrupt us while we are busy with the company's stuff. If we don't help, he would slightly mock by saying things like "it's ok...I understand you guys are not that experienced yet..etc". The senior dev was pissed off the other day and emailed a super detailed complaint to the HR.
Note : He gets paid more by his photoshooting jobs on the weekend, he's only at this job for his future citizenship application. That fucker. He's the type of fucker that will definitely gets rich but gets hated by everyone.

What do you do when your family time conflicts with your work time? What can I do to rotate my work schedule forward so I can get some fucking sleep without giving up on either work or my family?

This sucks, I get like 5 hours of sleep at night and my job wants me to be here no later than 9 for whatever reason.

Not to mention my commute is about 45-60 minutes both ways

Not to mention I'm making just enough money to cover my bases. Going to Costa Rica for a vacation is no where near my ability.. hell even driving across the state for a weekend trip would be wildly out of budget.

I've tried asking for a flexible schedule and ability to work from home as needed but its just become a circular debate.
I'm getting burned out and always feel tired, have no energy to stay motivated or give a shit

why can't people just fucking figure shit out on their own or better yet ask people besides me to help them
Like fuck I just want to fucking sleep but here I am pointlessly complaining on here waiting for him to make a change to something and hopefully fix his server that I couldn't care less about since I don't play 1.15 packs

I blurred out the ip in the image for obvious reasons, but I did debate leaving it unblurred just to see what would happen for about 5 minutes

Most people who talk about language performance are just repeating what they heard from others.

For 98% of use cases, Python or Ruby, for example, are more than fine for running production systems at scale.

Also, a language does not necessarily guarantee speed/performance if you write shit code.

I've seen a properly written Python application perform better than a Java application.

I'd love to stop having this debate with folks every time.

So worked myself into stupor for a react-native app(first -time). It is the client part for large system ecosystem. Was rough at first but after initail field test and refactor to the code base it is in 95% stable form. This all happend in 2 months. During this time co-workers build rest of system in node and other backend magic sauce 👩‍💻 .

My app has sibling app to collab with. I make a note (early in the development of this sibling app) that the ui is not working for the use case and get in a heated debate with co-workers. Concede 🙌 that it is not my part of the system and leave it to them, they blame the fact that no design was given. Fast forward to yesterday I get munched by client that wants to showcase the system to large company and has to struggle with sibling app. I tell him it is something "we" would look at in the next cycle ( covering for my coworkers) .

I feel shit and year now starts off with crappy feeling that all my hard work to get my app to decent version of itself is lost☠️ .

Currently witnessing Conway's Law in person. No shit our sprint fails when task description are just changing suggestions, designs are poor and no one questions decisions, no debate or conversations about implementations. I think it's time for me to jump ship because bringing up this concern has only brought hatred towards me from the team.

Allright, to settle a debate what is the more incorrect way of getting the last elememt of a std::vector?

Is it this:
auto i = myVec.at(myVec.begin() + myVec.size() - 1);

or:
auto i = *(&myVec.at(0) + (myVec.size() - 1));

I think the second method is better(worse) because it has more brackets and only works on Implementations where the vector's data is laid out concurrently (that is in the c++11 spec, but I've seen some shit)

My friend argues for the first method because it takes more time. (If IO is not a bottleneck)

A FuckFace guy today did this
FuckFace and I both hate Apple

FuckFace hates Apple blindly and hates everything related to Apple and can't even justify shit

I hate Apple for their stupid decisions

Then we meet a guy who is a friend of our boss I started to tell him how I don't like apple and I leave the conversation

FuckFace enters the conversation stupidly makes some fucking stupid comments make the other guy angry and now our boss is telling us shit about how we should not do this and not do fucking that

I had nothing to do with this shit I am gonna stab FuckFace tomorrow

So in our CS community specially from where I come from ($ecurity) people, we have long debate about how Linux is superior from those Mac and other Apple line ups

I mean I use Linux everyday as my primary OS for CTF for coding and basically everything.

But can we fucking for once acknowledge that Mac people have better UI than us?

Like go to the gnome theme store for god sake we have fucking top 10 filled with various kinds of flavors of apple UI from icons of la capitaine to mc cruise gtk3 themes

But still people blindly hate everything about apple
I mean I hate their overpriced ass and other stuff too but the UI IS SAUCE

Linux peeps no hate though
Apple peeps you guys are going to tangle in your dongle's one day 😊