PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test

*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.

About 2 years ago, our management decided to "try outsourcing". I was in charge for coordinating dev tasks and ensuring code quality. So management came up with 3 potential candidates in India and I had to assess them based on Skype calls and little test tasks. Their CVs looked great and have been full of "I'm a fancy experienced senior developer." ....After first 2 calls I already dismissed two candidates because they had obviously zero experience and the CV must have been fake. ..After talking to the third candidate, I again got sceptical. The management, however, started to think that I'm just an ass trying to protect my own position against outside devs. They forced me to give him a chance by testing him with a small dev task. The task included the following statement

"Search on the filesystem recursively, for folders named 'container'. For example '/some_root_folder/path_segments/container' " The term 'container' was additionally highlighted in red!

We also gave him access to a git repo to do at least daily push. My intention was to look at his progressions, not only the result.
I tried the task on my own and it took me two days, just to have a baseline for comparison. I, however, told him to take as much time as he needs. (We wanted to be fair and also payed him.)

..... 3 weeks went by. 3 weeks full of excuses why he isn't able to use git. All my attempts to help him, just made clear that he has never seen or heard of git before. ...... He sent me his code once a week as zip per email -.- ..... I ignored those mails because I made already my decision not wanting to waste my time. I mean come on?! Is this a joke? But since management wanted me to give him a chance .... I kept waiting for his "final" code version.

In week 5, he finally told me that it's finished and all requirements have been met. So I tried to run his code without looking at it ..... and suprise ... It immediately crashed.

Then I started to look through the code .... and I was ..... mind-blown. But not in a good way. .....

The following is what I remember most:

Do you remember the requirement from above? .... His code implementing it looked something like this:

Go through all folders in root path and return folders where folderName == "/some_root_folder/path_segments/container".

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Alone this little peace of code was on sooooooo many levels wrong!!!!! Let me name a few.

- It's just sooooo wrong :(
- He literally compared the folderName with the string "/some_root_folder/path_segments/container"...... Wtf?!?
- He did not understand the requirement at all.
- He implemented something without thinking a microsecond about it.
- No recursive traversal
- It was Java. And he used == instead of equals().
- He compares a folderName with a whole path?!? Wtf.
- How the hell did he made this code return actual results on his computer?!?

Ok ...now it was time to confront management with my findings and give feedback to the developer. ..... They believed me but asked me to keep it civilized and give him constructive feedback. ...... So I skyped him and told him that this code doesn't meet the requirements. ......... He instantly defended himself . He told me that I he did 'exactly what was written in the requirements document" and that there is nothing wrong. .......He had no understanding at all that the code also needs to have an actual business purpose.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

After that he tried to sell us a few more weeks of development work to implement our "new changed requirements" ......

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Footnote: I know a lot of great Indian Devs. ..... But this is definitely not one of them. -.-

tl;dr
Management wants to outsource to India and gets scammed.

On the game front, I see so much conflicting advice. "Start getting feedback" as soon as possible. "Donnt soft launch on steam! The algol will wreck you.", "soft launch on itch to get feedback", "dont soft launch on itch!"

"Start marketing today", "focus on influencers", "get to know communities *before* you advertise", "dont get to know communities beforehand if you're just planning on self prompting", "dont self promote".
"CPM is important.", "CPA is important". Etc.

Sounds a lot like "have a bunch of money upfront." The solution is just to succeed from the start! It's so obvious. Just invent the next gta. The next facebook. Get a small loan of 50,000 dollars, or a million. Donate for a year to other kickstarter projects so people will know you and reciprocate! But also dont ebeg!

How about no. How about fuck all this advice by silver spoon assholes that didnt have to work on shoestring budgets. The advice is the equivalent of having a 300 page tonedeaf book, every page blank except page 150, where the words "fuck you. I got mine." Are printed in times new Roman, 14pt font, neatly in the center of the page.

The truth is most of the "indies" already made it in the software industry proper, before switching over. $5k kickstarter videos, with $15k marketing budgets, no doubt funded in part through their own money funneled through services that provide shell donations, because KS is being used as a glorified advertising service. People buying off steam curators for promotions, youtubers making sponsored videos without disclosing they're sponsored. Fake viralility. Fake campaigns. Predetermined success for those who could *already* afford to develop and go commercial without a publisher. And they came into the market and cannibalized the opportunity, raising the bar for everyone that wasnt them. I guess that's actually a good thing, because we wouldnt have half the amazing games we do, and the pressure to produce quality. But then I see fantastic games utterly ignored or flailing in an attempt to compete for eyeballs in an industry frequently dominated by gatekeeping marketeers and influencers, where human grace determines success or complete oblivion. And I'm just disgusted with it.

Also buy my game. Preorder NOW! And you'll get a REAL canvas bag, I'll go to like the goodwill and buy one and screen print the game logo on it or some shit. Buy the special collectors edition and get pictures of my feet. Buy the game of the year edition and get a real gasmask. Preorder now and I'll fucking suck your di k right now. No lie. Preorder the diamond edition RIGHT NOW in the next six minutes and I will send you one hundred thousand dollars in gold plated bottle caps. Limited supply. one million per customer. Offer expires soon. This is not a scam. I repeat. This is NOT a scam.

In other news I'm soft launching Atom Ranger in six months (assuming the nuclear apocalypse hasn't *actually* started by then). Its state of decay and fallout meets rimworld. Build and manage a sprawling base, resolving conflicts, exploring post apocalyptic Colorado and surrounding territories of no-mans-land. Navigate hazardous weather, radioactive terrain, collapsed bridges, dangerous rivers, and deal with cultists, bandits, slavers, and hungry cannibals. Broker peace between not just the factions outside your settlements, but within your base too. Manage conflicts, settle disputes, avert disasters, barter, scavenge, and survive in a fully dynamic world, where buildings slowly crumble, grass and trees sprout up in the road and vacant lots, fires burn out of control, and factions loot, ruin, and takeover settlements. Watch the world and the survivors in it change and survive. Help them to survive, or become a warlord and rule over the wastes.

Lets be honest. It's basically kenshi but less complicated.

If you want to volunteer to test (instead of paying to be a glorified tester, aka "alpha") let me know in the comments.

I'm currently setting up a discord and mailing list.

I spent the entire weekend studying C#.

..Forgot I had a test today. Whoops.

Following my first rant, my boss had the brilliant idea of running the old and the new architecture in parallel. I had advised that it won’t be ideal since the same Scala code was ingesting into 2 different Kinesis streams and one was running an old KCL written in Java where as other was consumed by a Firehose delivery stream(eventually we will be ingesting it into Firehose directly). I had told few manual + automated tests on Code as well as from a functionality of the new architecture and a set of tests for checking the integration of the new Producer code with Consumer.

The statement I got from my boss was “This is the test, we test it on production in parallel”. My boss had a brilliant idea to fucking test the new code on the production directly but running them in parallel without accounting for undefined behaviour it might cause in the current production system. I mean my boss should get a Nobel peace prize for shattering our mental peace.

Anywho, we started the deployment today at 5AM in the morning. I had all the aws services deployed. Was just waiting to deploy the new Collector code which we did at 5AM. Immediately after 5 minutes the system went bonkers, there was fire, blood, demons and I was smoking a cigarette with the biggest “I told you so smile” on my face. I’ve just written an email to my boss and have told him calmly that “Listen motherfucker, 90 percent of the software companies aren’t idiots to focus on testing and quality. We need to start spending time on testing and quality else we’ll again be in the same soup after few weeks again”.waiting for his reply

The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"

Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."

If it was so great, why didn't you stay?

We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.

Once, we hired this one intern as a mobile games tester.

His first day on the job. He received his laptop for work.
He sits down by his desk, takes out his headphones, plugs them into the laptop, && starts playing his favorite music. _Now_ he can finally test the game in peace.

...the fuck?

I _get_ how testers can get sick of hearing the same crappy music, SFX, && other sounds listening to them day in && day out for days, weeks, months, etc. _This_ guy, however, pulls that shit on the first day?

Sadly, the lead either had never noticed that or had never taught the wannabe better.

Good thing !all testers are like that.

I just got Jenkins all setup locally, setup the first pipeline, get docker working with it, setup the build step, setup the test step and more.

In under an hour.

Not too bad for the first attempt.

The hardest part was figuring out the GitHub credentials.

———

Actually, the hardest part was keeping an eye on the dude in the booth next to me who has delusions of grandeur and likely other mental illnesses.

Had to keep an eye on him while he was pointing around the room (usually at me) and saying shit like...

“Ugly, ugly, all of you are fucking ugly”

“Fuck you, fuck you too!”

I’m sitting over here thinking...

“Bud, you got 3 teeth, you smell like shit and your rambling to yourself... fuck you you ugly piece of dog shit! Let me do my work I peace.”

After seven years of search, I’m dropping all my efforts to find a suitable concise ideology for myself to live by.

So what made me try to design it in the first place?

Simplified reasoning based on pre-calculated opinions? Your response is irrational instincts at first, irrational emotions at second and sometimes rational, but flawed and biased mind after.

Peace of mind? Constant search through such ephemeral matter is a huge stress itself.

Concise reasoning apparatus? World is changing and so are you, and I doubt that any concise system that isn’t based on absolute truth can withstand the test of time.

The interest itself to find such ideology? People try different kinds of reasoning from the beginning of human history and nobody was able to come up with universal solution.

A human being is a bunch of contradictions.

So made this component that my colleagues also use.
Today i checked source control...

What did they do to my creation?

Lines commented out here and there. Features destroyed by rewriting it, instead of just using it. Related unit tests broken of course. It had everything. And why not ask me?

According to Source control they helped each other. Working together as a team, desecrating my code.

My dilemna right now is whether should I:
- test the new idea to see if it works so I can go to sleep in peace
- or not test the new idea before I go to sleep so maybe I can sleep in peace. Just not at peace with myself.

What the hell am I!? I wonder if you guys can help me...

I've been programming most of my life but I've never actually been a developer by title or job role. I thought maybe if I list what I do and have done someone here could help? I'm sure there are more of you in a similar boat.

- C# and VB dev for some quick DBMS projects to help me understand and mine databases and create a nice simple view for project teams to show findings from the data to help make certain decisions.
- Automating a lot of my colleagues work with Python and if very restricted then just VBA macros in Excel and MSP. This did also include creating tools to gather data during workshops and converting the data for input into other systems.
- Brought Linux to the office with most team members now moving over to Linux with the peace of mind to know that though they do need to try solve their own problems, I can help if need be.
- Had to learn AWS and then implement an autoscaling and load balanced data center installation of a few Atlassian toolsets.
- Creating the architecture diagrams documentation needed for things like the above point.
- Having said that, also have ended up setting up all the Jira/Confluence etc. servers we use and have implemented so far whether cloud (Azure/AWS) or on prem and set up scripts to automate where possible.
- Implemented an automated workflow view in SharePoint based on SP list data and though in an ASPX page, primarily built in JS.
- Building test systems in PHP/JS with Laravel and Angular to help manage integration between systems. Having quite a time right looking into how to build middleware to connect between SOAP and REST API's, the trouble caused more by the systems and their reliance on frameworks we're trying to cut out of the picture.
- Working on BI and MI and training a team to help on the report creation so that I can do the fun creative stuff and then set them to work on the detail :)

Actually it seems safe to say that it seems that though I've finally moved into a dev office (beforehand being the only developer around) I seem to be the one they go to when a strategic solution is needed ASAP and the normal processes can't be followed (fun for someone with a CompSci degree and a number of project management courses under the belt... though I honestly do enjoy the challenges)

But I always end up Jack of all but master of, well hopefully some at least. let's not even get started on the tech related hobbies from circuit design and IoT to Andoid / iOS and game dev and enjoying a bit of pen testing to make sure we're all safe at work and at home.

As much as I don't like boxes, I'm interested to know if there is in fact a box for me? By the way, the above is just a snapshot of my last two years minus the project management work...

Hey!

I am trying to learn creating games for android (+- 0 android expirience).

I figured I could use GoDot for it's awesome pricing (free, no strings attached).

I've done few minor things, but, to be perfectly honest, I'm fed up of GDscript. I just internally hate it more every single time I touch it, so recently I stopped attempts to learn doing games for droid/iOS.

I'm looking for free alternative to godot, preferably no strings attached, but wahtever... Here is what I need:
- I prefer code, but doing stuff in GUI is fine, but stuff like making level etc, preferably in UI
- C++ derrived syntax (ex. c# etc. c++ is fine too), no BS like some wacky workaround to do basic shit like 2d array....
- easy android/iOS export (like in godot, one day I was attempting to hello world in android and compiling for first time... was quite an advanture)
- objects
- some easy way for restfull apis
Good to have:
- ability to test project without android VM
- observer pattern (signals/slots)

I don't care what structure it's made, for me milion of scenes on one screen was extremly coutner-intuitive but meh, whatever. As long as it's possible to learn, it is fine.

Can devranters help, please?

Thanks,
peace.

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Court Admissible DNA Test
When it comes to legal matters, accuracy and reliability are essential. At DNA-Me Mobile Labs, we specialize in providing court admissible DNA tests that are crucial for legal cases such as child custody, child support, and inheritance disputes. Our team follows a strict chain of custody protocol to ensure the integrity of the samples, making sure that the results are legally valid and can be presented in court.

If you’re involved in a legal dispute and need DNA test results that will be accepted by the court, you can trust us to provide the highest level of professionalism and reliability. We understand the importance of these results and work diligently to ensure they meet all legal requirements.

Certified DNA Lab Near Me
Are you searching for a certified DNA lab near me? At DNA-Me Mobile Labs, we work with accredited laboratories to provide the most accurate and certified DNA testing services available. Whether you're looking for a paternity test, genetic health test, or any other type of DNA testing, we ensure that your results come from certified, reputable labs.

Our mobile DNA testing service means that we come to you, whether you're at home, at work, or at another location that’s convenient for you. We provide professional service and a seamless experience, ensuring that your results are reliable, accurate, and certified.

DNA Testing for Child Support
DNA testing for child support cases is an essential service provided by DNA-Me Mobile Labs. If you need a reliable and accurate paternity test to establish child support obligations, we offer affordable and efficient solutions that meet all legal requirements. Whether you’re a parent seeking clarity or a legal professional involved in a child support case, our team is here to help.

We specialize in court admissible paternity tests, which are necessary for child support hearings. With our mobile service, we’ll come to your location, collect samples, and ensure the process is as smooth and discreet as possible. Your results will be fast, confidential, and accepted in the courtroom.

Immigration DNA Testing in Atlanta
Immigration DNA testing is often required by U.S. immigration services to establish biological relationships for visa, green card, and other immigration petitions. If you need immigration DNA testing in Atlanta, DNA-Me Mobile Labs provides reliable and efficient mobile testing services that comply with USCIS requirements.

Our team understands the complexities of immigration applications and ensures that the DNA testing process is handled with the utmost care and professionalism. Whether you need to prove paternity, sibling relationships, or another familial connection, we are here to help guide you through the process. We bring the lab to you, making the procedure easy and convenient.

Paternity Test Near Me
Looking for a paternity test near me? DNA-Me Mobile Labs offers paternity testing services throughout Atlanta, GA, and the surrounding areas. Whether you need a private paternity test for personal peace of mind or a court-admissible paternity test for legal reasons, our mobile service ensures that you get fast, reliable, and confidential results.

Our mobile lab team will come directly to your location to collect DNA samples, making the process as easy and convenient as possible. We understand how important it is to get answers, which is why we provide quick turnaround times and accurate results.

Elevate Your Home with the Best Curtains and Blinds in Los Angeles from Cali Blinds LA

When it comes to transforming the look and feel of your home, curtains and blinds are essential elements that can drastically change the atmosphere. From providing privacy and controlling light to adding a touch of style and sophistication, the right curtains and blinds can make all the difference in any room. At Cali Blinds LA, located in Santa Clarita, CA, we specialize in offering a wide range of window shades Los Angeles homeowners love and the best blinds in Los Angeles.

Why Choose Curtains and Blinds for Your Los Angeles Home?
Los Angeles is known for its diverse architecture and vibrant style, and the right curtains and blinds can bring a cohesive, polished look to your space. Whether you're updating your living room, bedroom, or office, curtains and blinds Los Angeles homes rely on can provide both functional benefits and beautiful aesthetics.

At Cali Blinds LA, we offer a wide selection of curtains and blinds to match every taste and preference. From rich, luxurious drapes to sleek, modern blinds, our collection is designed to suit any décor, providing the perfect combination of privacy, light control, and style.

Explore Our Window Shades in Los Angeles
Window shades Los Angeles homeowners trust offer a sleek, contemporary way to control the light and enhance the atmosphere of any room. Whether you prefer soft fabrics, bamboo, or modern motorized options, Cali Blinds LA has an extensive selection of window shades that can match your home's style.

Window shades not only help in regulating light but also improve insulation, which can help you save on energy costs. Our shades come in various materials, including solar shades, roller shades, and cellular shades, each offering its own benefits. Solar shades, for example, can reduce glare and protect your furniture from UV rays, while cellular shades provide extra insulation, making them ideal for both winter and summer.

No matter the style or function you’re looking for, Cali Blinds LA offers window shades Los Angeles residents love, ensuring you can create the ideal ambiance in every room.

The Best Blinds in Los Angeles: Quality and Style Combined
When it comes to choosing the best blinds in Los Angeles, you want options that are both durable and stylish. At Cali Blinds LA, we take pride in offering a wide range of premium blinds designed to suit every need. Whether you're interested in wooden blinds, aluminum blinds, vertical blinds, or motorized blinds, we have the perfect option to enhance your space.

Our best blinds in Los Angeles are crafted from high-quality materials that ensure longevity and easy maintenance. Not only do they look great, but they also offer exceptional light control, privacy, and energy efficiency. Whether you’re looking for a minimalist style with Venetian blinds or a more classic look with wooden blinds, we’ve got a range of styles to complement your home.

Why Opt for Curtains and Blinds in Los Angeles?
Light Control: Curtains and blinds are ideal for managing the amount of light entering your home. Whether you need complete darkness in your bedroom or just a bit of soft light in your living room, curtains and blinds Los Angeles homes prefer offer versatile options to meet your needs.

Energy Efficiency: The sun can be intense in Los Angeles, especially during the summer months. Window shades Los Angeles homeowners love are designed to provide extra insulation and reduce the heat that enters your home, helping you save on cooling costs.

Privacy: One of the main reasons people choose curtains and blinds is for privacy. With options ranging from sheer curtains to blackout blinds, you can ensure your space remains private and secure from the outside world.

Style and Aesthetic Appeal: The best blinds in Los Angeles aren't just practical—they’re also a way to elevate your interior design. Whether you want something sleek and modern or something more traditional, we offer a variety of materials, colors, and designs to match your style.

Durability: The quality of curtains and blinds is essential, especially in sunny climates like Los Angeles. Our blinds are made from premium materials that are durable and designed to stand up to the test of time, maintaining their beauty for years to come.

Expert Installation for Your Curtains and Blinds
At Cali Blinds LA, we believe that professional installation is just as important as the quality of the curtains and blinds themselves. Our team of experts ensures that every window shade and blind is measured, fitted, and installed to perfection. We take the hassle out of installation, so you can enjoy your new window treatments with peace of mind.

With our Los Angeles window blinds installation services, we ensure that your window treatments fit seamlessly and function perfectly.