Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "test in peace"
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11
About 2 years ago, our management decided to "try outsourcing". I was in charge for coordinating dev tasks and ensuring code quality. So management came up with 3 potential candidates in India and I had to assess them based on Skype calls and little test tasks. Their CVs looked great and have been full of "I'm a fancy experienced senior developer." ....After first 2 calls I already dismissed two candidates because they had obviously zero experience and the CV must have been fake. ..After talking to the third candidate, I again got sceptical. The management, however, started to think that I'm just an ass trying to protect my own position against outside devs. They forced me to give him a chance by testing him with a small dev task. The task included the following statement
"Search on the filesystem recursively, for folders named 'container'. For example '/some_root_folder/path_segments/container' " The term 'container' was additionally highlighted in red!
We also gave him access to a git repo to do at least daily push. My intention was to look at his progressions, not only the result.
I tried the task on my own and it took me two days, just to have a baseline for comparison. I, however, told him to take as much time as he needs. (We wanted to be fair and also payed him.)
..... 3 weeks went by. 3 weeks full of excuses why he isn't able to use git. All my attempts to help him, just made clear that he has never seen or heard of git before. ...... He sent me his code once a week as zip per email -.- ..... I ignored those mails because I made already my decision not wanting to waste my time. I mean come on?! Is this a joke? But since management wanted me to give him a chance .... I kept waiting for his "final" code version.
In week 5, he finally told me that it's finished and all requirements have been met. So I tried to run his code without looking at it ..... and suprise ... It immediately crashed.
Then I started to look through the code .... and I was ..... mind-blown. But not in a good way. .....
The following is what I remember most:
Do you remember the requirement from above? .... His code implementing it looked something like this:
Go through all folders in root path and return folders where folderName == "/some_root_folder/path_segments/container".
Alone this little peace of code was on sooooooo many levels wrong!!!!! Let me name a few.
- It's just sooooo wrong :(
- He literally compared the folderName with the string "/some_root_folder/path_segments/container"...... Wtf?!?
- He did not understand the requirement at all.
- He implemented something without thinking a microsecond about it.
- No recursive traversal
- It was Java. And he used == instead of equals().
- He compares a folderName with a whole path?!? Wtf.
- How the hell did he made this code return actual results on his computer?!?
Ok ...now it was time to confront management with my findings and give feedback to the developer. ..... They believed me but asked me to keep it civilized and give him constructive feedback. ...... So I skyped him and told him that this code doesn't meet the requirements. ......... He instantly defended himself . He told me that I he did 'exactly what was written in the requirements document" and that there is nothing wrong. .......He had no understanding at all that the code also needs to have an actual business purpose.
After that he tried to sell us a few more weeks of development work to implement our "new changed requirements" ......
Footnote: I know a lot of great Indian Devs. ..... But this is definitely not one of them. -.-
Management wants to outsource to India and gets scammed.9
TLDR: Ever wondered what your project's intro/theme song would be?!
Share yours if you ever thought about it or some particular song plays in your head while reading this..
Long(er) version + story: project I am currently working on is notorios in our company.. everyone avoids it, parts of code are untouched for 10+ years.. I used to think it was a 'shitty' project, many frameworks, many parts, many coding styles, many bugs... but longer I worked on it, more I came to realisation, it's not the code, it was the coders.. sloppy coders who didn't give a flying f..
Yes, some things are outdated still, and could be rewritten better (hopefully it will start happening soon! Yay!!), some were already rewamped, new things added... but for the time it was going live, it was majestic. I love solving bugs n problems so I must admit it has grown on me.. my little baby/devil..
Anyhu, one day on skype out of the blue I got this pic from my coworker.. made my day, laughed my ass off.. later that day I was debbuging something and youtube started rolling saw theme song (https://youtu.be/9fwWS6Xo1go)...
When I realised what I was listening too, it made perfect sense.. I was relaxed, at peace.. it clicked.. the song, the project, the bug, the code.. it all made chaotic sense..
I want to play a game..
I realised, project wasn't mean, it was just misunderstood and mistreated.. it can be your best friend if you play nice.
I replied to said coworker that I rhink I just found out my project's theme song and pasted the link.. he laughed, I laughed, my project laughed then it killed my test server.. It was a great day!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
// all true except the project killing server part, that in fact happened on a different occasion
So.. you guys had any moments like this? Any theme songs, intros for your projects?? Or am I the only weirdo who makes associations like this all the time... 🤔🤣😇 ???6
Unit test works, unit test works... commit it, push it, take screenshot of it, and go to sleep... peacefully...4
Ever heard of this custom ROM called Unleash-OS ?
Well if you've not, you're doing really well in your life. If you're happy, you can scroll away right now.
And in case you want to test strength of your happiness.
Just see here :
If you still are happy, you're pretty damn happy person. If you're not well I'm sorry, it'll just take you 10 minutes to recover.
The reason why I ranted about this is that I want everyone to be sane and NEVER do some shit like this.
Following my first rant, my boss had the brilliant idea of running the old and the new architecture in parallel. I had advised that it won’t be ideal since the same Scala code was ingesting into 2 different Kinesis streams and one was running an old KCL written in Java where as other was consumed by a Firehose delivery stream(eventually we will be ingesting it into Firehose directly). I had told few manual + automated tests on Code as well as from a functionality of the new architecture and a set of tests for checking the integration of the new Producer code with Consumer.
The statement I got from my boss was “This is the test, we test it on production in parallel”. My boss had a brilliant idea to fucking test the new code on the production directly but running them in parallel without accounting for undefined behaviour it might cause in the current production system. I mean my boss should get a Nobel peace prize for shattering our mental peace.
Anywho, we started the deployment today at 5AM in the morning. I had all the aws services deployed. Was just waiting to deploy the new Collector code which we did at 5AM. Immediately after 5 minutes the system went bonkers, there was fire, blood, demons and I was smoking a cigarette with the biggest “I told you so smile” on my face. I’ve just written an email to my boss and have told him calmly that “Listen motherfucker, 90 percent of the software companies aren’t idiots to focus on testing and quality. We need to start spending time on testing and quality else we’ll again be in the same soup after few weeks again”.waiting for his reply1
The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"
Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."
If it was so great, why didn't you stay?
We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.3
I just got Jenkins all setup locally, setup the first pipeline, get docker working with it, setup the build step, setup the test step and more.
In under an hour.
Not too bad for the first attempt.
The hardest part was figuring out the GitHub credentials.
Actually, the hardest part was keeping an eye on the dude in the booth next to me who has delusions of grandeur and likely other mental illnesses.
Had to keep an eye on him while he was pointing around the room (usually at me) and saying shit like...
“Ugly, ugly, all of you are fucking ugly”
“Fuck you, fuck you too!”
I’m sitting over here thinking...
“Bud, you got 3 teeth, you smell like shit and your rambling to yourself... fuck you you ugly piece of dog shit! Let me do my work I peace.”4
So made this component that my colleagues also use.
Today i checked source control...
What did they do to my creation?
Lines commented out here and there. Features destroyed by rewriting it, instead of just using it. Related unit tests broken of course. It had everything. And why not ask me?
According to Source control they helped each other. Working together as a team, desecrating my code.1
My dilemna right now is whether should I:
- test the new idea to see if it works so I can go to sleep in peace
- or not test the new idea before I go to sleep so maybe I can sleep in peace. Just not at peace with myself.2
I am trying to learn creating games for android (+- 0 android expirience).
I figured I could use GoDot for it's awesome pricing (free, no strings attached).
I've done few minor things, but, to be perfectly honest, I'm fed up of GDscript. I just internally hate it more every single time I touch it, so recently I stopped attempts to learn doing games for droid/iOS.
I'm looking for free alternative to godot, preferably no strings attached, but wahtever... Here is what I need:
- I prefer code, but doing stuff in GUI is fine, but stuff like making level etc, preferably in UI
- C++ derrived syntax (ex. c# etc. c++ is fine too), no BS like some wacky workaround to do basic shit like 2d array....
- easy android/iOS export (like in godot, one day I was attempting to hello world in android and compiling for first time... was quite an advanture)
- some easy way for restfull apis
Good to have:
- ability to test project without android VM
- observer pattern (signals/slots)
I don't care what structure it's made, for me milion of scenes on one screen was extremly coutner-intuitive but meh, whatever. As long as it's possible to learn, it is fine.
Can devranters help, please?
What the hell am I!? I wonder if you guys can help me...
I've been programming most of my life but I've never actually been a developer by title or job role. I thought maybe if I list what I do and have done someone here could help? I'm sure there are more of you in a similar boat.
- C# and VB dev for some quick DBMS projects to help me understand and mine databases and create a nice simple view for project teams to show findings from the data to help make certain decisions.
- Automating a lot of my colleagues work with Python and if very restricted then just VBA macros in Excel and MSP. This did also include creating tools to gather data during workshops and converting the data for input into other systems.
- Brought Linux to the office with most team members now moving over to Linux with the peace of mind to know that though they do need to try solve their own problems, I can help if need be.
- Had to learn AWS and then implement an autoscaling and load balanced data center installation of a few Atlassian toolsets.
- Creating the architecture diagrams documentation needed for things like the above point.
- Having said that, also have ended up setting up all the Jira/Confluence etc. servers we use and have implemented so far whether cloud (Azure/AWS) or on prem and set up scripts to automate where possible.
- Implemented an automated workflow view in SharePoint based on SP list data and though in an ASPX page, primarily built in JS.
- Building test systems in PHP/JS with Laravel and Angular to help manage integration between systems. Having quite a time right looking into how to build middleware to connect between SOAP and REST API's, the trouble caused more by the systems and their reliance on frameworks we're trying to cut out of the picture.
- Working on BI and MI and training a team to help on the report creation so that I can do the fun creative stuff and then set them to work on the detail :)
Actually it seems safe to say that it seems that though I've finally moved into a dev office (beforehand being the only developer around) I seem to be the one they go to when a strategic solution is needed ASAP and the normal processes can't be followed (fun for someone with a CompSci degree and a number of project management courses under the belt... though I honestly do enjoy the challenges)
But I always end up Jack of all but master of, well hopefully some at least. let's not even get started on the tech related hobbies from circuit design and IoT to Andoid / iOS and game dev and enjoying a bit of pen testing to make sure we're all safe at work and at home.
As much as I don't like boxes, I'm interested to know if there is in fact a box for me? By the way, the above is just a snapshot of my last two years minus the project management work...2