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Been a little inactive for a long time, but I could really use your advices fellow ranters.

I'm in my senior year of highschool and I got an extraordinary internship at a company (it's not possible to get a job in web dev in this country as a highschooler).
The pay is just a little pocket money, but projects are fun (web apps in js) and I can include this experience iny resume later on.

Basically the company wants me to go to uni/college. The teachers too. Oh, parents too.
I have been suffering in schools for my whole life, I really don't feel lile I could make myself go to school another 4 years.

And I also don't have the slightest idea of what I wanna do with my life, I have no goals currently and I'm afraid of that while I'm in this existential crisis state it is easier for people to tell me what's good for me.

Objectively this is a country of papers, so I guess it doesn't matter wheter it's web dev or the next super digital intelligence I do as a profession.

I also want to travel the world, but I need money for that Xd. If possible I'd love to move to another country, but still have no idea.

Thanks for reading through this depressing shit.

Programming in c++ on DOS (dosBox) feels so amazing, I really like it, I'll get a CRT monitor just for this (also a bit of Doom)! So cool!

So while I was being bored af in my school I had a freaking cool idea. The previous day I had tried out this thing: https://parsecgaming.com
It was pretty cool, I used my gaming PC as the host machine, and my android as a client, but the touch screen, meh....

So I have bought a USBc to USB 3.0 on ebay. Is USB keyboard+mouse plug n play on android?

Anyways, I'm gonna fucking game PC games on my phone in school and Its gonna be fcking cool.

I mean, the developer just didn't even fucking care that the annoying menu is in the center of the screen, wtf (reader mode save me)

So in the past 3 days I've almost had 6 heart attacks, I've been giving public speeches for random classes at my school as a practise.
Today I'm going to some capital city finals shit whatever you call it and I have to give a public speech to fuc knows how many people.
I wrote a speech about lies in 700 words, speech has to be 5 minutes, oh yeah, in English. It's not my native...

Man, I am not ok at all Xd, they had to choose the one who has anxiety dosorders.

GNU/Linux trigggggereeeed! Reeeee

Also, I am fucking bored, I feel like a 10 year old with these tasks.

Yeey, my mom just called me that when I got home I'd have to fix the neighbour's TV. Because after 10 hours of school the only thing I want to do is fill in the role of a free tech support.

I have never believed that it would come to this. I am writing a javascript code exam on a paper. Honestly. I always laughed at posts where I saw code on paper, but now... I'm the same xdd.

Today's task: create a wireframe for the website.
Teamlead doesn't give a fucc about me, k I'm chilling then. I looked at their work and I saw a picture where a stickman types the domain in the browser and then the site appears (as a printscreen of the existing site I've done so far)

Arrived today. Love this community 😍

I've just realized that It is not worth trading my health for better grades at school, from now on I'll focus more on coding and on sleeping as well.

I just got my first eyeglasses and my monitor is so small, I'll need to buy a bigger one xd, also I feel like I'm about to vomit...

RIP cisco test....
Teach told us that we're writing an exam of the topic 5.1.4...something, ok, I downloaded the files (packet tracer, PDF). 20 minutes after I realized that I was working on the wrong one, coz it was actually 5.2.something, soooo I fucked up half of the time (a lession is about 40 mins) and when I finally finished I saved the PDF where my answers were given, uploaded it and when I checked it I saw the raw document.
I fucked this up reeaal baad.... I can't even focus on a fucking easy task now, I have to calm down

I've fucking spilled out my coffee onto myself xddd

IT teach giving a speech that our MS excel exams are shit and we have no logic and that we suck at math. I mean, yeah it's true that I suck at math and I've never used excel before coz I never had to but ffs I code during nights and I love it, also there are so many fields, saying that you'll be just a part-time waiter... If you have the attitude to solve a problem that you care enough about you'll get there eventually. Sucking at something doesn't mean you suck at everything, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.

Today I was told by my team leader that I hadn't given them proper access to our website and they can't edit it. The repo is hosted on github and is opensource. Also the link can be found on the site....

A temporary replacement teacher came in today, she is so fucking dumb omfg, I am literally shakeing, this pic will tell you everything.

I've introduced git and github to my class, the teacher said that I gave him a good idea for a task that everyone would have to use this... Now I think everyone hates me Xd

!dev
So the day started at 12am(lol) when I woke up, because the day usually starts when you wake up, except that for me it started when I didn't go to sleep. No problem, worked on web project, I also do some sysadmin stuff, I love these two fields and I learn so much by just doing it so it is a fucking pain to go to school where I can only sleep coz the shit they teach I already know or not relevant/makes no sense to me and my life. Drains the fcking life out of me.

Question:
Is college the same or it is possible to enjoy because you can focus on what you love in your full time?
I consider myself a self-taught(coz I just sit at my computer and use the internet lolz, no one has helped me in my profession before, mainly coz I hate asking for help) and I see a lot that degree is not worth it, go for a job...
One thing I know is that I'll definitely try to find any job as soon as I get the fuck out of here, I'm 17 and I feel I'm already late (yeah, that's stupid).

I wanted to ask you guys, maybe someone is/was in the same situation or something but I'm just thinking loudly here :D

Right now I'm at a theatre with my class, I am so lonely here I have a whole free row for myself, at least I'm less anxious now. Such bullshit, I could be at home learning and developing.

This pic is from my class messenger group.
Translation:

Dear teacher! Our group have chosen another web builder for the project, we hope it's not a problem...

Yeah, I use templates which I can copy code from to my group's site, but for the love of *!#* life I consider myself a noob beginner even tough I've been in this field for a year or two now but I can code with more confidence now. What the hell are these people going to do if they only willing to rely on school and wix...

But I can always be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

Now I can tell my friends that I configure magic on my computer.

!school rant!

I have offically lost my entire faith, doesn't matter in what, point is that all of it.

We are literally learning about control panel and stuff... Basically the whole class is laughing, this teacher is bad shit crazy.

The fuck, it's almost noon, I'm at school without realizing it. I love daydreams.

Teacher: The next 3 months we're going to learn web dev
Me thinking: fuck yeah, finally, I love web dev.
Teacher 1 week later: shows us how to build with wix-like builder...

Teammate sends me the site logo in messenger with white background to use it in production...

There's the possibility that all of you just live inside my head, but it is also considerable that I exist in one of your mind.

So in the next term we're going to learn web dev(bootstrap and some javascript, no backend :( for now), the previous term was about c#. We'll have to build a website as a team (4-5 people) and everyone has a specific task and have to do the research on their own,but at the same time we can help each other out. OMG if the whole school was just like this I would be happy to come here every day lol! I also hope to improve on my social anxiety, but this could easily backfire depending on my future teammates, coz you know, in every highschool there have to be some badass kid whose intelligent equals with two rats...

So yeah, right now I feel 50-50% about this whole thing.

Yeeeey, the teacher lets us use our preffered code editor for web dev. (VS code for me)

I don't remember and idk why, but my entire browser session which I use for development is in incognito mode :D