Getting married tomorrow!!!
Holy shit!!

I'm kind of scared actually. But in a good way 😄

And here I am, in the middle of the night, trying to figure out why my fucking tests don't run 😄

So here I am in iceland watching Aurora with my gf, and suddenly I realized somewhere in my code at work I freaking forgot to add 1 to the denominator of a fraction. Shitty shit shit, gonna go back to work finding NaNs everywhere. Fuck fuck fuck

> Woke up at 03:30 because I am on call and a server went down
> Fixed shit and went to bed
> could not sleep,
> fuck it, drive to work.
> arrive at the office at 04:30
> I can scream stupid shit and noone would hear
> *grin*

IF YOU WRITE IN A FORUM ABOUT A PROBLEM AND YOU SOLVED THE PROBLEM, TELL US THE FUCKING SOLUTION YOU MORRON! YOU TOOK THE EFFORT TO JUST WRITE "I SOLVED THE PROBLEM" WITHOUT WRITING A WORD ON HOW THE FUCK YOU DID IT. DO YOU THINK I READ THIS FUCKING TOPIC FOR FUN? I AM ONLY INTERESTED IN THE SOLUTION, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU SOLVED IT OR NOT!!!

Holy. Fucking. Shit.
++111111110 on devrant. This is my moment to shine, my account completely blew up. I am the Elon Musk of devrant. I am the coolest bitch on this website, bow before me you peasants!

... wait, is this binary?

I am the only guy who pauses to look at the code in every hacking/coding scene either in a movie or series? Coz that shit is sometimes hilarious

Why the Fuck would someone disable pasting on a password field!!!! How the fuck am I supposed to enter my shit from my password manager now?

If my Internet stays at the speed it's at right now, I'm going to start breaking shit veeeeery soon.

Fuck this fucking bullshit, how the fuck am I supposed to fucking work like this?!

10-fucking-kbs, go fucking fuck yourself.

Fuck.

!rant

You know those dudes that dress up spiffy and try to sell you cable providers for tv and shit. Well, i normally stream everything from my computers and do not really have any need for actual tv, my flatscreen is mostly used for my ps4 or switch and das it.

So these guys stop me at walmart and start trying to sell me this provider, i normally listen and give everyone a chance since they b only doing their job. Afterwards I tell them that i use one of those roku or amazon sticks and that I am fine with it. Well one of them insists in that those are not good since **fake made up technical shit** and that unless I am a programmer I would not know how to work around them.

I smile. Hehe.....hehe.....muahahahaha and tell them that I do not worry about such things since I am a software engineer. My wife passes by and confirms "yup, computer scientist, spends his days thinkering with shit"

One of them looks at the other and says "fuck it dude we lost"

Lol, gracious in the face of defeat.

WTF! over 5000+ attempts in less than 3 hours. Some bitch trying to hijack me machine!
Am i the only one experiencing this shit?

PHP sucks balls,
It takes forever to do anything, it is so messy it feels like walking through a massive pile of shit!

Ok good I have your attention and that ++ 😇

But no this is not that kind of rant, quite the opposite.

In 70 lines of php shit as some people would call it, I am currently scrapping GitHub pages with ebook collections and with some minor regex pulling PDFs out and saving them to file.

!rant

So this happened in the zoom meeting today. 2 colleagues were arguing on something.

A : "Do I look like f**king joke to you?"
B : " No, you don't look like a joke , your camera is off. But you sound like one. "
A : "I am so tired of you , f**k you man"
B: " Hey you can't f**k me without my consent, I said I am not interested."

Me : "Uhm guys this is scrum meeting."
B: "No shit captain obvious, we all know that. "

I am so speechless.....

Completely losing my shit over a 'class Predis\Autoloader already defined' error.

Just noticed that I already created the object five lines up

How fucking retarded am I?! I mean, I've been debugging this for a WHOLE FUCKING HOUR.

Let's just blame it on the alcohol 😅

Ah, every time I am on VPN, on every single website I have to prove that I am not a robot.

Just because I am using a VPN service to protect my information, that does not mean I am about to fuck the website up or DDoS the shit out of you. I wish the CDN providers would understand that and make our life easier.

I am seriously tired of completing the Google verification. Select the vehicle, bike, sign post, dick, vagina, Mia Khalifa. FUCK OFF

Senior: I've been programming for a long time. I know JavaScript.

Me to myself: I've seen your code, it is shit.

Senior: (builds JSON with string concatination)

Me to myself: ...

What am I to do? The system is full of stuff like this, and minimal support from management to fix and rewrite.

Beware: this is me expressing how I feel about my programming/my skillset, and so on. It might be imposter syndrome but I am having a fucking bad episode right now and I just need to get this the fuck out.

I work at a distribution center right now. Can I provide for myself? Yes. Do I even slightly like my work? No I fucking hate it to the point. I hate going there every day, doing shit I don't like, not being able to focus on the shit I love but that's it for me for now.

In my free time I still am able to program a little but then the (I will call it imposter syndrome for now as I have no clue how to call it) imposter syndrome comes looking around the FUCKING corner.

*What the fuck are you doing? For real man, someone else could do that like way fucking better*

*Wow man your code..... there are so many people who would write that a million times better*

*You have re-written this for 10 times now. But seriously, this still sucks fucking balls*.

Fucking hell. Yes, at programming level I am still a junior, I fucking know that. But it fucking sucks feeling like anyone but you would do the shit you're making better anyways.

How fucking down can you get yourself. How bad can you make yourself feel through just a few fucking words/thoughts.

The only thing I am happy about right now is the fact that a very good friend is able to keep me at least slightly sane right now.

I have always thought that I am to dumb to become a dev, but after a few years doing sysadmin shit I have realized that even the most stupid, dumb and idiotic people can be a wordpress developer!

There is still hope for me

> me on call
> had to much wine
> suddenly, phone starts making sound
> holy shit, I am on call and I am not supposed to drink
> Calls taxi because shit is looking bad at work. Everything look down according to the sms I get, I had to pay the taxi from my own pocket.
> 40 min later, arrive at work. Walk into the serverroom.
> Go to the the server that is monitoring everything.
> Check networkcable, it is loose. Push it a little.
> Goddamnit, that was it.
> Realize I never doublechecked if stuff really was down from home....

hate it when Linux users talk like they own the cyber world.. linux is bla bla windows is shit shit..
I am not a linux fan, nor a Windows fan. just I use what is the best for the requirements

Jesus Christ. Dagger2's documentation has got to be the most convoluted shit I have ever laid my eyes on.

The sheer mental gymnastics I had to do to get through this one line at 2:30 am...

I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Fuck!

Fucking kill me right now please. How the FUCK am I supposed to get any shit done when I'm learning something and the fucking DOCUMENTATION has been UNAVAILABLE for the past THREE MOTHERFUCKING DAYS.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MICROSOFT.

Fucking idiots.

It wouldn't be so fucking bad if things like this didn't happen all the time.

But when EVERYTHING is FUCKED - ALL THE TIME, it kinda makes a person lose all hope in humanity and technology.

A typical motherfucking day for me:

Wake up
Go to work
Come home
Eat dinner (if I remember)
Attempt to code shit for 1 - 3 hours before I have to sleep
CAN'T FUCKING CODE SHIT BECAUSE:
1. Internet disconnects every 5 fucking minutes
2. DOCUMENTATION SITES ARE FUCKING DOWN
3. Shit Windows is UPDATING
4. a previous windows UPDATE has royally motherFUCKED my PC
5. etc

FUCK

I was told that I am too sensitive and afterwards a liability because I couldn’t concentrate in a working space where interns were constantly screaming, running around, hitting and farting each other, throwing shit around and playing games (instead of working)...

I was told by the HR person that “boys will be boys”...

A teacher from high school.

I finish the assignment early, shit on everyone’s head in terms of speed and performances and this guy first praises me, then slams the keyboard with random chars, letters and weird shit in an application which was supposed to only accept numbers.

“But… the requirements said…”
“I’m your manager and I am dumb af. Trust me, this will happen a lot irl.”

So, I accidentally rm -rf'ed the folder with my personal project.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
I AM THE BIGGEST DUMBASS EVER. HOURS OF CODING, GONE. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.
.
.
.
.
Please photorec, save my files 😢😭😢

diploma || certificate == "I am somehow warranted to write shit and get away with it"
## WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!

How the fuck am I expected to salvage a fucking project that has been handed down to me with.
- No fucking clear architecture
- No fucking documentation
- Fucking shitty ass code base with no fucking coding standards
- The previous team was fucking learning a whole fucking new technology stack *Not fucking kidding* making fucking mistakes left and right
- No code reviews
- Mixing fucking local and cloud enviroment together
- No fucking testing
- Feature that were supposed to be implemented and are not working
- No configuration all the stuff are hard coded
- Full responsiblity for the whole stack
- Only one other guy with me
- And this fucking project has been delayed for a year
- MUCH FUCKING MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM

Like what the fuck am I expected to do? I took the job thinking that people knew what the fuck they were doing and surprise surprise that was a fucking bust.

the problem is also I am the junior and these fucking people have more experience than me, what the fuck happened to over seeing people's work, PM doesnt give a shit, developers dont give a shit nobody gives a shit.

But when I got this surprise surprise now everyone is interested in finishing the project

BULLSHIT

I am on the fucking verge of throwing my coffee cup at a coworker.

I am sitting in an office with someone who has to vocalise everything that he thinks.

It started this morning, I was trying to solder the board on my headphones, because there was a cable that had come loose, and every fucking time that I start, some shithead phones, and then a few minutes later, he comes in and talks shit. Burnt myself.

Now I am trying to maintain some code, and every fucking time I start typing and getting into my code, the need to talk has to fucking arise. I have literally thrown the last 45 minutes out of the window because I cannot fucking concentrate. Nothing helps. Throwing a coffee cup will probably just inspire more to talk about.

Phenomenal, another motherfucker just came into my office and decided that it is decent to use the phone to phone his buddies.

Fuck this shit.

You have to wonder why our retarded education system still forces students to learn Pascal(Delphi)... 2nd most hated language in the world... I am learning this stinky pile of shit right now because I have my school-leaving exams from it tomorrow but oh man the pain...

So... the US Govt. just released a shit ton of files on JFK assasination, and being the data hoarder that I am, I promptly requested a bulk download link...
Apparently I underestimated the "shit ton" part, coz each of these files is around 2.4GBs... and I dont have the data to download them :-D :-D
FML

I am 21 and I just found out that I have rheumatoid arthritis in my fingers

I think a little part, no ,a huge chunk inside of me just died.

Why the fuck does life keep piling shit...
what's the fucking point....

When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?

Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.

I am sick of seeing articles about imposter syndrome. The developer community as a whole should stop circlejerking each other. Let's face the reality that some developers are just shit and that's it.

Omg GuyZ I am looking tp CreAte the NeXt fb!! whAt shOulD I Use? (not php lol fuck php amirite) AnD use machiNe leArninG with nodE tO drive flying cArZ

btw I am from <completely isolated and technology ignored country> but i am l337 af! I don't know about html, css, server administration or even basic sql

WHERE SHOULD I START!!

Signed: account user with -5 points, not that it matters at all.

Y'all wanna know what is more fucking annoying than those morons? you dickwads trying to teach them shit or having arguments with them.

Ok google, set an alarm in 20min works great but when you say ok google, cancel my alarm it just says you can do that in the app. I know I can do it in the alarm app, but I am a lazy piece of shit, that's why I asked you to do it!

TLDR; I am a piece of shit who writes no documentation or no information whatsoever when I am doing something.

Created a custom version of Windows for our company couple of months ago. Before leaving, I am supposed to pass this valuable information to another new developer.

Obviously, since it has been a long time I have worked on that, I have forgotten a lot of core principles. The process is also automated in Jenkins so never really had to touch it again.

Now that I am about to explain the process to the new recruit, I realised that I have written nothing about that process. No documentation, no information. The only thing I have is a bunch of scripts automating everything for me. WHY WHY do I do this to myself :(

At a meeting:

"We don't know why <past developer, they all know who this motherfucker is> did it this way but we have to..."

Me: *slams table* no, stop. I am tired of this. Y'all must've really liked this guy. But he did it this way because he was a fucking idiot.
A
Fucking
Idiot
There is no other reason for this amount of fuckery that I have to be bothered to fix and mess with on A DAILY BASIS so I am gonna go ahead and call it as it is. The dude was a damn moron and no one here stopped him. I know he was a janitor here that got his cute lil associates and y'all wanted some good will hunting shit to happen, but <said dumbass developer is no matt damon"

Them: "YOU CaNt JusT UsE ThaT lanGUAGE"

"Am i gonna fix this shit?"

"Well......no one else kno...."

Me: "exactly"

Legit man i am sick and tired of this shit. I did not earn a B.S in comp sci. Graduated in the top percentage of my class, am suffering through my MCS to fix php like a fucking moron all day.The rest of my web devs backed me up.

Aaaand btw..no, it is not my job. I am a fucking analyst, i provide data reports, i program said reports, i am tasked with this shit because i used to work for then as a web tech.....got a different position cuz i was tired of it...fuck me right?

Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.

Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are.

My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.

Shit falls on me since he ain't here.

Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....

know why?

Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.

Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification...

I have nothing wrong with being frequently asked what I am majoring in. However, I am going for COMPUTER SCIENCE not FUCKING IT. Please for the love of fuck stop suggesting I try to get a job with some shitty company as an IT guy. I have no interest in being an IT guy. I want to fucking code shit, not fix your shit and help you do basic shit that you're too fucking incompetent to figure out.

I consider myself a fucking lazy piece of shit that could probably could come up with something amazing if I wasn't the lazy piece of shit I am.

In my previous rants I used to shit all over Python.
Now, I am regretting those rants.

After giving up a on "writing Java with Python syntax", and learning to write the pythonic way, it finally clicked for me, and now I really like it!

I'm fed up of this shit. I'm a Bachelors student and I study in a class where no student wants to study. Like literally none. You'd think someone studying Bachelors degree would have some sense. But no. Not a fucking one of them. Our class requires a minimum number of students to attend to smoothly run the class. I am the CR and I can't convince them enough to even meet that level. How am I gonna get through these two years? I try to say something, everybody snaps at me for being a smartass. Which I'm clearly not. These are the same people who come at me when the courses to do finish in time. I am alone. I am getting too weak to stand against them. My self esteem is declining day by day. I am really insecure.

Some of y'all talk way too much shit about web development tools/libs without being web devs yourselves......

I don't know enough about OS development to talk shit, you see me doing it? no

fk me I am getting so fucking fed up with this community, it used to be cool rants about the shit that we go through, now is just pop wannabe dev ranting meme bullshit

It's a satisfying moment when you actually get work done on a personal project. It's comforting knowing I am capable of not being a lazy shit all the time. Gotta keep this up.

Fuck, I am really exhausted.
I am really burnt-out, I can't do this shit anymore.
Fuck this shit, here is my letter of resignation.
It is already signed, I won't do this shit anymore.
I will be jobless, but fuck this, I won't spend any more minute here.
*drop microphone*
The party is over.

I like being self taught because I can work at my own pace and try different languages to see what interests me most. But so many of these tutorials are just shit. Or the content is good and the instructor is shit. I may need to just suck it up and go to Uni, but I am 19 and enjoy my time working and my free time. I think it's time for me to grow up soon though.

Internship Update:
I am slowly breaking down.
I have to endure all of that stress.
Both physically and psychically.
I keep cutting myself without wanting it.
I am not attempting suicide lol.
I applied as an IT person.
What I am doing has almost barely to do with IT tho.
I am most of the time busy carrying heavy stuff like refrigerators, placing new washing machines, setting TVs by building them and putting them on the shelves. The shelves are hard to reach. At the same height as my head.
Fuck that shit already. I am not going to miss that place.

Literally what I do 80% of the time at work.

I am the only one that:

Knows CSS properly
Knows SCSS
Understands how to set up a proper front end workflow
Etc
Etc
Fucking etc

I AM the css dude at work and I FUCKING HATE working with CSS, at the same time I take it upon myself to push through the projects because my team is shit at it and I would rather work with it than to have someone else do it and then fix their shitcode.

As a whole....i dislike design. Badly.

Scared the shit out of g/f by using festival on Linux.

SSH'd into computer in bedroom from bathroom, announcing
"I am Lucifer. I'm coming for you, Jenny!"
Followed by a shutdown of PC. She shit herself banging on the bathroom door.
😂

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

Someone talk to me while I am busy.

Him: I think this table is in the wrong place.
Me:... Excuse me, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
Him: it's in the wrong place..

WHAT is in the wrong place motherfucker.. I didn't hear the whole sentence.. what the shit..

Someone else or it's just me?

This is the third time a recruiter calls me while I am shitting on the toilet.
It's one of two, they call me too often. Or I shit a lot

I think I am getting trolled.

I am supposed to be getting a promotion next Month, manager sends me the new offer and it's lower than my current one because I lose the extra "shifts allowance". ofc I do not respond to the mail and I guess we'll be talking about it tomorrow, pretty hilarious shit though.

I kind of feel like I invested 2.5 years of my life trying to run away from being a hamster, and here I am in my PhD back in the hamster spot.
The moment I finish compiling some not-os-compatible package, I get a new one to tame. A day after perfecting a sensor integration, another sensor is thrown at me. I am the one who calibrate and tunes the MoCap system, including manufacturing the markers and ordering part. I make sure the robot is functional, from software to battery replacement.
I need to crawl on floors to collect data, while the rest of the lab uses public datasets.
I optimize C++ code, and then get asked to write unit tests and use a CI, while the rest of the lab just writes some subpar Python.
They are doing research and I am doing Cinderella work.
I shouldn't be punished because I get shit done, whether it 3D modeling, CMake voodoo or low-level programming.
Instead of encouraging other lab mates to develop skills, everything is thrown at me. Fuck that shit.

New to Java.
I was debugging for hours until I finally found the problem: "==" compares two strings' references, not their value.
I began to laugh tears!
Oh my fucking shit... I am a... damn it!

First rant.
Why do people need to bother about my phone? I have a Xiaomi Redmi Note 4 and I am perfectly ok with it. You don't have to shove your iPhone to my face and tell me to try iOS. Acting like iOS is the only shit matters. I am perfectly ok with my 230 SGD phone, the customisability of Android and not having to worry about my credit bills.

11:00 AM
Boss: *autistic screaming* Make this module not shit.
Whole team: Alright we'll have a meeting to discuss changes at 6:00PM

5:00 PM
Me: I'mma fiddle just a bit with this module.... *fiddles a lot* *makes it not shit*.... cool, I'll just notify my team I fixed it.

LiterallyAtTheSameTime:00 PM
OtherDudeFromTeam *in my dm-s*: AY YO DUDE I FIXED THE PROBLEM LOL 😂😂😂
Me: iGiveUp.exe

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

MY LAPTOP just scared the shit out of me. It screamed words like a demon. I thought that I am hacked. But it was just a screen reader... I accidentally activated it or something while unlocking the lappy.

An intern who tries not to show that he doesn't know shit has been asked for fun:

"What's the difference between a pointer and a thread?"

He answered: "I don't know, I am not experienced enough in oriented object programming".

Seriously. Bullshiting has gone too far.

I am Done! I am extremely burnt out and unhappy with my work. I have been doing this professionally for over 5 years now and much longer than that unprofessionally.
This new company I joined finally gave me the salary I always dreamt of but now I am extremely unhappy and depressed and anxious all the time. And I don't like the work I am doing. I don't like the team. I hate being isolated at home for over 2 years, working from home. I had a mental breakdown in the middle of the meeting the other day. And after that, I said. that's it. I am done. So, I gave the resignation letter. I don't know what I am gonna do. But I sure as hell can't do this shit any longer. But now, the fucking hr is making it even more difficult for me by not letting me leave without serving the notice period. I told her I am on fucking medication and I am having severe mental health issues. Now, she wants to see the medical certificate. Or I have to pay two months' salary. WTF? If I had that kind of money lying around, I wouldn't have slaved myself away at your shitty company, would I?
I went to my psychiatrist whom I have been seeing consulting for the last couple of years now. I asked for a medical certificate and he thinks it'll hamper my future career. So, he said I should get a certificate from a general physician. So, that's the world we live in then? You can't even speak the truth? And the way HR is behaving over the mail makes me feel like a total slave. I mean I am not at all fit for work these days, and it feels like, if she had her way, she would tie me down to a chair and ask me to push out code. what the fucking fuck. This is some fucked up industry and I think I am finally done with software development. But now, I don't have any idea what I am gonna do with my life or how am I gonna earn money. I am so burnt out and anxious that even the thought of working again gives me panic attacks. even working from home. What the fuck do I do?

I spent almost 10 hours coming up with this RegEx. Trial and erroring my way to hell. First I had get rid of the HTML tags (which was easy-ish) then I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to remove the god damn dash but keep hyphenated words ....... Then I found \B and look behinds...

I am making it a point to get good at this shit... Because right now I am petrified of it... Fuck you Regular expression you have taken away all my emotions...

Complete and total rant:

You know what fucking confuses the holy fucking shit out of me? DESIGN

I have MAD respect for motherfuckers that spend their days tailoring shit away in CSS, writing custom animations and toggles in JS and ensuring that their HTML is pristine as fuck. I really do and in my opinion they should b getting mad props from everyone, because if they so decide to learn GOOD server side scripting then they are most definitely on their way to create some awesome functional and beautiful shit.

But...

I am not a designer by any means of it. And I know that shit is supposed to look good and work across a multitude of devices. Doing something like that takes me a couple of lines of code (granted, after hours of work that is) that may take a designer way less.

But why oh why do I see THOUSANDS of lines of CSS code for shit that does not take me half the amount of work that it takes other people?
Like seriously. I am trying to emulate the menu that university of Chicago uses(as an example for a lil design practice cuz i suck at it) and looking into their CSS I see thooooousands of lines of code to do something that I did in about two hundred.

So wtf man, do I suck so hard that I am missing some serious shit? wtf is happening? This confuses me, because in my mind it should take me just about as much work as it takes them right?

AGAIN MAD RESPECT FOR DESIGNERS -- If you are a designer reading this please tell me wtf is happening

I seear man fucking shit php devs make it hard for people to appreciate the language.
To start, i don't think there is anything wrong with php. As a language I know damn near all of its pitfalls and have successfully deployed huge applications with minimal fuss.

The thing is...this shit seems to happen only when I AM THE MOTHERFUCKER THAT DOES IT

In any other scenario i am constantly cursing the original author under my fucking breath hoping that they choke on their own dicks. Fucking cunts.

Really man, some of the fucking code i have seen. This shit is dangerous as fuck and i can't believe that in 2019 motherfuckers would not have the decency to google for best fucking practices or learn it from a fucking book and shit.

Writing proper php code is not that fucking hard people, every fucking update to the language, every fucking tool that comes out is for the betterment of it.
Guess proper oop or functional paradigms are too complex for some dickheads. Hell, not even top to bottom procedural code.

Fuck me. Good thing is, boss is happy, the entire faculty is happy, the board is happy. Everyone is motherfucking happy.

Dez negroids better remember this shit cuz I just asked for a $20k raise.

I got a raise literally every time i ask for one so this one better make the cut.

Fuck shit php developers man. Y'all don't deserve the language, y'all make the language look bad, y'all make the community look bad.

Fuck you, die and eat a dick. Do all that shit in whatever order you prefer.

Completely 100% not dev related.

But really I need the opinion of smarter people. Tell me how I don't make fun of the way people look, talk down on others regardless of <whatever>. Try to be as nice as possible to everyone, but the moment I say that I am not attracted to overweight people (women in my case since I am a heterosexual male) am I suddenly fatphobic and hate fat people. First of, phobia means fear, and I can assure people that fat people don't trigger any fear response from my end.
Nor do I disregard them as humans just cuz of them extra kilos. But suddenly because I explain how I can't be sexually attracted to someone that is overweight am I fatphobic?

This shit baffles me.

I am not a front end developer. Don't have the skill set, but I am learning. Work assigns me an "easy" task of modifying someone else's angular code(with all those <div> tags) to change some functionality. If it was well formatted, easy shit.

WHY THE FUCK DID THE PREVIOUS FUCKER INDENT LIKE THEY HATE ME? PARENT TAGS ARE FARTHER OUT THAN CHILDREN TAGS. SOME OF THE TAGS ARE 10 TABS FROM THE LEFT, WHILE THEIR CHILD IS ONLY 2. IN ADDITION, ALL THEIR CODE IS COPY PASTED FROM OTHER FILES, REFERENCES CONTROLLERS FROM OTHER PARTS OF THE CODE IT DOESNT NEED!

I am tempted to kill it with fire, find the person who wrote it(on a different continent), kill them, and then rewrite the whole thing in a language I am still learning. FUCK!

In the middle of a big project, many demands from the biggest client of yhe company, he left the country and called the boss after 2 days tellinf him he's not coming.
boss is angry,
client is angry,
I am happy.. because client is a piece of shit liar asshole

- I say the project is shit and it'll be hell for everyone involved
- Management says we'll do it anyway
- Project keeps being hell for everyone involved
- Management reprimands the team for letting hell consume us
- I (again) point out the project is hell itself
- Management maintains it's our fault
- I am Tired™️

Urgh, fucking excel!
Why the fuck can't you handle a few thousand calculations you dumb ass piece of shit.

I am this close to... fuck, it crashed. 🤦‍♂️

I fucking give up.
Time to strap this data to a DB instead.

Shit went very well - I am really happy for my future

Hopefully, the bureaucracy will be faster for me :P

Details? Not yet

How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.

I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.

Thank for listening. Have a great day.

Math.
The thing i am fucking bad in.
Even basic math shit is hell for me.

Not really a rant.

When you start learning a new prog paradigm focused on a particular branch of math and then see it being used to solve a sudoku puzzle in 3 lines of code. Well, that shit changes you and makes you wonder how much shit in the field we don't focus in for being too concerned with everythingPython and everythingNode

Brain is mush but I am loving this shit.

Swithced to Ubuntu, this is my first ever OS outside of windows. Man I am loving this shit.

Bought my laptop with windows 8, was working like charm and then came windows 10, I updated it and it was working fine untill they started releasing the patch updates. My laptop became slow as fuck, taking forever to boot and bitch was I afraid to connect to my wifi fearing the background data consumption and the antivirus clogging the ram.

I am free now, I am finally free. I am ready suck the developer's dick just to please him for this masterpiece and helping me get out of this misery.

I am conducting technical interviews for about 10 years now.
I swear to god, the applicants keep getting dumber and dumber.
Getting more and more ashamed to talk about data structures, design patters or even the most basic algorithms, everyone with a graduation badge from udemy is now a software engineer. Fuck this shit.

Holy shit. I just watched a video on Rust and I think I am in love.

Tracked mutability, reference counting, guaranteed thread safety, all in a compiled type-safe language with the performance of C++? 😍

Why did I not check this out sooner??

Am I the only backend developer around here who doesn't enjoy building UIs and tries to get it done ASAP just to go back to backend code?

my App's UI looks ugly as shit because of this.

The team of interns I'm working with are all off this week. I was given 2 skilled colleagues to cover for them. We had our first scrum today:

Boss: so what are you working on?
Me: I'm adding new feature 1 + 2.
Boss: and you?
Colleague: I am ... removing the shit

Never thought i Would have to say this: You see someone saying pedo weird shit, you are supposed to attack them on them, no mercy, no quarter is to be given to these weird fucks. Yet we have people defending them, i am sorry if my southern Texan comes out, but i cant fathom the idea of saying weird pedo shit and not being against it, y'all fucking mental.

-If you see that shit you report it, there is no "lets talk" NO no, you report it, fkning assholes.

This community has gone to shit, and the owners of this site are fucking useless in terms of moderation, this is a disgrace. And you shitbags that agree with shit or try to mend it fucking gross me out.

Touch some grass you fucking neckbeards, maybe then your reality wouldn't be so distorted

How am I supposed to get shit done, when you assholes set meetings for half the day?!

Holy shit i am learning angular for the first time and it is actually pretty fucking cool!

Sometimes you get too used to everything, that you forget to be humble and curious, to explore and learn new things all the time. I miss the time when I say:oh this shit is cool, I am gonna try it out.

Glad someone knocked this back into me.

One of the companies that rejected me sent me feedback which I took gracefully coz u sexy cunts told me it wasn't the end of the world when I ranted about it here. Well now they are offering me another interview and I am hella nervous coz I don't want to fuck it. Good thing is the feedback they gave me were actually all shit I know and use daily in my work, I am just bad at explaining plsu was nervous at the last interview. Now I am worried coz it's on monday and I have not had time to practice explaining the lang well coz work has been crazy (literally on a 10 min break now since 9am..almost 10hrs working) which is weird right coz last year I actually used to teach.

This is the year of non negotiation for developers. I’m tired of getting told to mindlessly do shit. I am not going to fucking budge on my standards just because other people are lazy. I am smarter than them and they will fucking concede to my demands for direction or they can go fuck themselves.

I am really sick and tired of this shit.
I meet a really nice girl and we strat sending messages to each other. After a while she ask what i am studying i tell her Game Development.
And then she ask me o so you can hack. And poof the image that she is the perfect just disapears

I finished a big refactoring. It makes me feel so good to delete all those lines of code. Even though I have a decided to leave this company in the near future, I am very happy that I leave the code in a better shape. Somebody who is replacing me doesn't have to go through shit anymore.

I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!

Shit man if I thought that S.O for developers was bad.....Stack Exchange Mathematics is just fucking brutal omg I am loling so bad man these dudes have 0 patience and will legit kill trolls on spot.

Saw a dude not agreeing with implicit meanings behind certain symbolic notations, some other dude disagreed, fight ensured.

This shit is awesome. Ima stick with this shit for a while.

S.O still fucking sucks though. The stack is amazing and the app works fantastic. The people there are shitty beyond belief.

"Well, you probably said that beca...." fuck off

I am going to post cryptic ass shit on y'alls shit that gives over a fake sense of me knowing what I am talking about in terms of faking my credentials from working on big companies and having tons of knowledge of software development in an effort to convince you all in of my credentials to get massive upvotes by making you all think I am intellectually and technologically superior to you in multiple senses! I will use a thesaurus for this btw! not my general day to day speech! after all, it will give my fake ideals of credibility more success and acceptance! remember! i worked for all companies starving kids in different parts of the world did! nothing but my word for it!

Some people really need to consider the shit they read online from people that have been caught bullshitting all the time.
9/10 your shit is good enough, stop letting phonies make you feel inadecuate over their supposed success in this works ffs

I just made my own implementation of a scraper for NASA's Pic of the Day. It should have automagically changed my wallpaper at 4 AM to the new pic of the day.

Today's "pic of the day" is a video. It broke my shit.... So much for the excitement of seeing my automation work.

MOTHER FUCKING VISUAL STUDIO!
This S.O.B keeps crashing every time I attempt to open a fucking .aspx file. How the fuck can a company make an IDE that takes a shit every time I attempt to open a file that uses a language created by the same FUCKING COMPANY.

FUCK IT I am going home early.

I was wondering how people can hate other people. That was weird to me, but now I unterstand these people.
I begin to hate people, too.
Not only because they are stupid, but also because of their irresponsibility, ignorance and incompetence.

Here I am taking my time to finish a school project which is to create a video about stock shares etc.
I did the planning, did the editing of the audio files, put my own part (imagea and own audio) to it and right now I am editing it.
One guy from our group is being a bitch and does not record his voice to a few documents which will barely take him 3 minutes. I did 8-9 minutes of talking, for the records.
Because of that dip shit, I am wasting endless time waiting for him to get his shit done. I need to create the video. I have a personal life, too.
I gave him a deadline, because he was procrastinating. If he does not make it to this time, I am going to record his part on my own and give myself all of his credits. Done.

Literally every single day.

I remember when I was dying to get in the field. Now that I am in I realized there are a lot of bleh moments.

Love my job tho, but shit ain't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be lol

I am a fucking first year student and am doing an internship at a SHIT start-up. I've devoted my FUCKING PRECIOUS TIME into their SHIT iOS app, and the fucking boss is keeping procrastinating to get me that fucking pay cheque. For God's fucking sake that they pay me using the Canadian government's money (CSJP), FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUUUUUCK YOU

I am having a massive anti-Microsoft day since they announced they are killing Groove music streaming service.

Funny how there is so much shit going on in the world and I'm here sulking over a music service...

😪

What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!

One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!

I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"

Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?

I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".

What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!

This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.

I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Call it mental disorder. Sickness. Masochism or just bein a demented individual...

But I used to work with classic ASP. Yes, my JS ran on servers before it was cool (I am the original tech hipster) and I was writing VBScript with it as well because why the fuck not?

And
I
LIKED IT.

Kinda miss it to be honest. Shit was simple as fuck, the downside of it was the "fuckLibrariesAndDoShitByHand.asp" mentality and consequence of using old tech....but I liked it.

Tutorials for that shit had to teach you damn near everything in one book, not just how to code it, but how to really work with servers on the bare minimum and one would learn sooo much. Now a days most books be like "this is how you do yo auth tokens..because all y'all mofockas should know this shit by now" NO mofocka! Our books was all about "aaaallrighty dipshit, this shit here is auth, and in order to bla bla blah" THOROUGHT AS FUCK B.

So yeah......i had fun, by far not my first choice on new shit, but shit was fun.

Am I the only person who gets by just fine without creating algorithm schemes, big indepth projects plans and whatnot?

I'm just fine with a to-do list, ex:
- add self-adjusting window paddings so shit doesn't start flying out

Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.

I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.

The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-

My search history can show you my how calm or angry I am.

When I get angry the words "fuck" and "shit" begin to appear in my searches.

How to make your employees feel like shit 101:

Continually praise a small group of people for doing something for a few days that someone else does as their full time job. Call what that team did "unlike anything else in the software development world"

I am soooo fucking pissed right now. You can guess what side of this I am on.

Youtube coding influncers are shit and do not know anything about the real world coding....

Am I the only one who feels like this???

And aren’t there way too many of em????

...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.

He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.

You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!

How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥

Apple fanboys justify the removal of audio jack as simplification of design. How the fuck am i supposed to find those damn pods if i misplace them. and what uf your bluetooth pods are shit and i want a different one. Fucking idiots.

What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?

Fuck this client's IT department. They're a bunch of Microsoft asslickers.

How am I supposed to push code to your self-hosted GitLab instance if you restrict me to Citrix RDP????? No OpenVPN access because I'm on Linux?? Seriously? Because I am not using any of your laptops?

FUCK YOU DUMBASSES, I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU AND I JUST PLAY WITH LINUX.

When I said I only needed terminal access I would have never imagined they were thinking of Putty inside an RDP. What a steaming shit.

Oh you guys don't have a secret management service as any enterprise should? Oh I cannot add a secret management service as part of the solution I am building for you guys because "Hurr Durr yOu HaVe NoT pUt ThIs In ThE pRoJeCt PrOpOsAl sO nO"

Fuck you guys. You guys only don't want to move to the cloud to not lose your jobs. I would be far more productive than relying on you pieces of dumbassery.

They are all having each others back in using shit technology and practices.

In standup I talked about how I am blocked on two tasks and what I need from the people who can unblock them.

Business Analyst who runs the standup/acts as some type of scrum master thing then asks me what I need to unblock the tasks.

I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU, HOLY SHIT.

I haven't ranted since I joined my current job back in late 2018 because I've been in absolute bliss, extremely happy and feeling in the right place.

...And now here I am: due to some corporate shit we had to migrate from Slack to Teams and man TEAMS IS A SHIT.

I'm just starting on the dev world. I only taken Java and C++.(Both professors knew their coding however, sucked balls at teaching it). now i am here looking at this post scared as shit for my future.. damn what did i get myself into?

I am great at getting raspberry pi projects about 97% done...

But absolute shit at that last 3%.

Working on a home built WiFi repeater and deauther (front) and a 1TB SSD nextcloudpi server (back). Definitely outside my comfort zone, especially the first one. Despite having mad time on terminal, and SSH every day, I am very soft on this networking shit.

wpa_supplicant, though I do not now, I will come to understand your mysteries.

Someone made a comment at work about my chances of being today at work since I have a tendency to ngaf about Tuesdays.

Currently I am at the car dealership getting my car serviced.

It offends me greatly that they would say such shit.

I mean, sure, I am about to go buy beer and food and call it a day afterwards. But still, hurtful.

I feel like steak today.

When imposter syndrome hits me, i just scroll through the latest CVEs. That reminds me, that even the best can't do it properly.
I also am old enough to have seen the latest shit emerge and disappear multiple times. So there is no pressure to keep up with latest crap of the week.
Also, our industry is full of sloppy corner cutters. So that i am not sloppy and don't like to cut corners, already makes me a rare kind of coder.

Know your strengths!

I am a pretty well of dev with a nice job and a nice salary. Yet I still suffer from imposter syndrome. It's nice to get on here and read rants about shit I've also has issues with or just feel better about myself because I wasn't the one the person that rant was about. Cheers to you devrant

My dev days consist on coding shit that I am really not interested in(web design)

What gets me through them is getting to my home office when I can continue to fuck around with Machine Learning, my guitar or the shit that does interest me....

.......also...listening to Nothing But Thieves is about the one thing that keeps me from losing my shit at work...

Rant time of 'Derp & Co.'

Today I decided that I am going to find another job, I just can't keep with this shit.

They said that use Agile: FALSE.
• Daily (best scenario) take like 1 hour and a half.
• New task enter the sprint and "Fuck you, more task in the same time". This is something regular done.

• "Oh, dev, we need you to check this other project" I am in the middle of my sprint on this project. "But you have to fix this bug here". (3 fucking days the bloody bug) "You are late again with tasks".

• Meeting for fresh sprint: 6 BLOODY hours... nonstop

The workflow is garbage:
• SOMEONE should did all the devops shit on the first sprint, guess what? They did nothing!, guess now who is being blamed for it (not only me, but a few coworkers).

• Nothing is well designed/defined:
~ task are explained like shit
~ times measured wrongly
~ We are in the last fucking SPRINT and still doing de ER of the DataBase cause Oh, apparently no one has work before with SQL (damn you MongoDB! (Not really)) so I am doing my best, but "jezz dev, this is so hard... maybe we can do it WRONG and easy".
~ No one is capable of take responsability of their mess, they just try to push down the problems. (Remember the devops situatuion? Why is.my fault? I came at the 3 or 4 sprint and I am doing backend tasks, I know nothing about devops).

But the big prize, the last one:
• Apparently you can't send whatever you want to the boss, it has to pass a filter previously of coordinators and managers, hell yeah!

And I am an idiot too!
because I see that we can't reach our schedule and do hours on my spare time!
This is because there are a few good coworkers who probably ended with my unfinished tasks... and they are equaly fucked as me...

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am not a pro, I am not a full stack developer and still need to learn a lot, but this is just not normal, eight months like this...

Just leaving this ugly piece of crap here.
I know these kinds of stuff are not welcome here, sorry anyways. But am I sorry if it's insulting? Of course not. Those who really feel the insult in this shit are listed below.

Raining outside, the office all to myself. The entire building is empty and here I am jamming to Volbeat while I finish some stuff for monday.

It sounds as If i am complaining, but I am not, i love this me time that I get at the end of every Friday (we leave at 12 but I stay about 3 hours extra to fuck around)

I love this shit. Boss got us pizza yesterday and there is still some left.

And i got some tobacco with me . This is some good shit my dudes. Good shit

Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.

Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.

Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum

As I am working with WordPress for the really first time I am making horrible experiences now.

My client wants a simple submenu on the sidebar if the user is logged in else he want the login form to be there. Easy peezy done with php and just good old plain html. Maybe some JavaScript to make the login process asynchronous.
But fucking bitch - NO. As I found out after searching and digging. I have to create a menu in wp-admin first. Then add a menu-widget to the sidebar. And then install a plug-in to make the links only visible for logged in user. Wtf?

WordPress takes all the joy in doing web development for me. I won't do that anymore. I will force all new clients to use proper tools to make their shit work for them. And as I am the expert in this things I am the one who suggests the right tool.

Fuck this shit.

Every night around midnight my internet turns to shit, ping jumps to 1000ms ... Lasts for a few hours.

Only tech support available at that time is cheapest call center in Bombay

"Okay please sir I am running the tests now please. Nothing is wrong sir from my end"

"Oh? What's the latency from your end to my modem?"

".... Sir I am runnings the tests..."

Bah! It's whack...

I really feel the need to just blacklist the entire EU, to not deal with additional shit like gdpr, I do see its benefits, but I am already busy with getting my client approved by paywalls, other services and get all that bullshit integrated - I really don't need having to also shit out some very detailed statement about it all, if you want something like that, then create a generator that gives me all you want with couple clicks, else get fucked outta my sight.

i have been working on a web-based game and this is my daily routine (also i listen to rock and metal)

college to home to coding
thinking
coding...
looks like theres a small bug
shouldnt take much time
maybe this can work
*screaming*
i am not the first with this bug *here i come stack*
dont do this to me stack... theres suppose to be a fix for it
*extreme head banging*
F*** it
*changing songs*
nope this not helping
F***
F*** THIS SHIT
*rhythmic head banging*
oh god kill me
F***
am i really that bad
*autistic screaming*
humming song instead of thinking of bug
(8 - 8:30) me: mom i am hungry
this shit is taking toooo much time
*high intensity screaming*
F*** you bug
coding, its not form me
*surfing devrant*
*felling i am normal*
(10 - 10:30) mom: when are you eating
*high pitch screaming*
i am leaving coding for sure now
its too late time to sleep
fml its late again, i am gonna miss the first lecture again
back to coding

A thousand year later...
Bug status: Still not fixed

I have an uncanny ability to--in the middle of coding--open a tab on the browser and type just about anything on the search bar and go on to what I am starting to call a "link binge".

I pretty much bounce around the internet reading about random (not even useful, always) shit and end up wasting hours.

There should be a basic qualification for getting certified as a trainer or a teacher.

This one dude is trying to give us knowledge about advanced C++ and I shit you not, he thinks the best way to engage with the audience is just read monotonously off a PowerPoint and saying "am I right?" in 5 minute intervals.

Can't wait for this day to get over and then finally I am free ffs

tl;dr
I am either the most responsible or the biggest idiot in the team

----------

TODAY.. oh boy.. fuck today. Like literally tuck this day and this shit. We ware doing releases for an integration we ware working on for ~1.5 months ... Aaand things went wrong - I guess we didn't make a sacrifice to the release gods - finally at around 8:30pm, being pretty much the last in the whole fucking office after a few last minute fixes I get my skinny ass on my way to grab a Corona and enjoy the public holiday tomorrow ...

Aaaaand I wish that was it, it turns out some things ware forgotten by.. well everyone aaaaand shit doesn't work (ofc ffs, why should it).. I see a slack notif and the feeling of dread gets me a couple of messages back I promise I'll be there in a couple of hours tops..and here I am ranting doing shit covering my desk with "food", hating my fucking self...

Me and the Head of Dev are literally the only ones working ATM...

had to create a rather large CLI based application in Java as a graduate level assignment.

Doing shit like this makes me appreciate Node/Python/literally fucking anything else much more for this shit in which storing and retrieving JSON does not have to be that much of a fucking hassle WITHOUT using external libraries(they want it all made by hand)

I love Java, don't get me wrong, but I would rather use it for only a couple of things. I stopped working as a Mobile dev precisely because of Android being shit for Java. No, Kotlin does not fix it, its not the language that is my problem, its the fucking general architecture of the Android API that pisses me off.
And no, I do not care if you like it, like 1 fucking bit. I am not saying that the architecture is shit, I am saying that I did not like it.

Sigh.......oh well. Almost done with the assignment, but still.

Do you ever learn a particular technology, have something playing in the background and then associate the tech with that for-fucking-ever?

To me, when I was learning about Ruby on Rails I was watching Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood for like the 5th time (I am a big FMA fan) and have thought of Rails to be associated with it forever. heck, even with just doing scripts in Ruby without rails I have always felt like I was doing alchemy or some shit.

Yeh I know, spot the weeb.

I don't give a shit I just love Ruby.

I am a bad developer. I know nothing. I had a very simple requirement just to change the strings.
I couldn't collect all the requirements. I connected with PM offline, slow replies and miscommunications. Ahh!! How will I be shipping bigger projects? I have 3 years of development, in my last company we worked totally different though.
So, at the time when I thought I will be raising a PR I am stuck on the requirements.
I am a dumb shit. I can't do anything right. A simple requirement I am not able to deliver. I am so embarassed. :(

I seriously cannot stress how important it is to build good reliable tests. Especially regression testing.

I am crying inside over the amount of time I've lost in my integration hell.

Seriously stupid shit that should have been tested but never did because I was too fucking lazy. Don't be me. Don't put yourself in the hell I'm in. Be better.

Well it was that moment when I realized how all that shit fits together. So it was that sunny day during summer holiday. Me and I was learning some c++ and I'm like "why the fuck am I doing this. I should be playing with friends". But I was too lazy for shit and you know :)

So it was the second empty can of coffee that day and I was making me a new one while there appeared this little spark in my brain. And I'm like "wait.... I think I just understood how the world is working".

I was so fascinated btw that I spent the whole holidays doing c/++

Why apple is a peice of shit..? Why even people love it.. It makes apple to grow more.. Although they don't deserve it.. They don't deserve the trillion dollars.. Why don't they fuck them self..
In a year they release a peice of shit and people are like applauding on it.
Are you fucking serious people?
The people who called as "apple fanboy" please go fuck yourself.. Tell me one reason to love apple..
I am not talking about the price issue. I am talking about they think that they are the best.. But no they are not. They are a bunch of asshole who are working to make money.. They don't need to respect.

WARNING: I am a n00b at this crypto shit!

I've decided I might dable in cryptocurrency mining for a little and see what comes of it but have no clue how to start... Can someone point me in the direction of anything that could be helpful?

I hate responsive shit and the MF who coined it! It’s shit work, and I am tired of fucking doing it. Bootstrap sucks and still fucks up. FML!

I ain't that picky, but the image I am including here makes me feel uncomfortable.

Is it horrible? Nah, shit like this happens all the time. I just feel weird about it due to my manager's constant pixel perfect implementation requirements.

I have been having a crazy week. And I am thankful that at one point during my period of Javadiction(the great Javadiction of 2015 as I called it because I did nothing but Java) I landed on the Velocity template lang.

I quite like templating engines. Always made me think that if I wanted to start with lang design I might start there. Anyways, Velocity is pretty cool and I quite like using it at work.
It makes everyone think that I am the Alpha coder since around these parts it ain't known at all.

Sometimes for personal projects (and one client gig) I use the same database for local development and production.

Why?

Because I am a piece of shit.

Me: okay, just gonna look on devRant for five minutes then get ready
Me: *goes to recent tab*
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Me: *sees my own rant posted a day ago*

FUCKKKKK IM GONNA BE LATE WHY THE HELLL AM I STILL WRITIBG THIS OK SHIT SHIT SHTI

Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!

A small thunderstorm came in yesterday brought chaos and terror for 1 hour and left like nothing happened

Guess what

It left the whole city without the internet

Over 300,000 people dont have internet of course including me and i am pissed the fuck off because i was in such a great mood to get shit done today

I'm testing a shitforbrains code in production because I don't have any other options. He went on vacation and said that the code should work, and if it doesn't it is my problem.

I am contemplating taking a shit under his desk and working from home. Then he would have to deal with my shit aswell. Literally.
The tables have turned my friend...

Am I the only one who thinks studying these types of shit is useless?

Let the Windows Updating begin... I think I am going to need Red Bull for this shit...

Guys I am facing a dilemma and i want to hear your opinions.

The background story:
I am completely self taught, currently i am learning something totally unrelated to programming at the uni. Maybe one day when i've finished that shit I will apply somwhere for a job as a developer. Until that the self education continues.

I've recently finished a big sideproject. I've rewritten my father's old shitty joomla company website from scratch with complete cms and integrated stockkeeping and billing features. After some minor fixes it is working perfectly and honestly I am kind of proud of myself. Now that I have some free time available i need something to work on again.

TL;DR - Here comes the question:
Should I broaden my knowledge in webdev even more (there is much room for improvement and i am starting to get the grasp of it) or start digging into game developement (which is my dream for ages although i didn't have the courage to dive into it until now)?

I have project ideas for both but simply can't decide. :/

I am appreciate your time for reading && telling your opinion on this.

!rant real talk though.

I am frustrated. Lately i have been having a slow time on the job, and it somehow dulled me down a lot.

In games you often have to think about transforms and rotations and offsets and hell knows what else.

I am usually pretty good at 3d object manipulation, it's one of those IQ test skills i generally score well on.

However lately i have not been able to come up with jack shit, i am simply unable to coherently think through a set of positioning and rotation changes to aquire the correct outcome for a mechanic and it pisses me off.

I have to fall back to slow as all hell trial and error and i don't even know what to do otherwise. It's been months now, do i have brain cancer or some shit? Arrrrrrg!

FUCK YOU FUCKING AZURE FUCKING FUNCTIONS:

EITHER LIMIT MY NUMBER OF TCP CONNECTIONS (before violently crashing)

or

FORCE ME TO USE THE GODDAMN PORT-PISSING, BARELY-MULTITHREAD-USABLE, SETTINGS-IGNORING EXCUSE OF A PATHETIC BUILT-IN HTTPCLIENT ON FUCKING CRACK (Seriously .net people fix that shit).

But not both... both are not okay!

If your azure function just moderately uses outgoing Http requests you will inevitably be fucked up by the dreaded connection exhaustion error. ESPECIALLY if using consumption plans.

I Swear, every day i am that much closer to permanently swearing off everything cloud based in favor of VM's (OH BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE VM's BOO HOO, I HAVE TO BABYSIT THE GODDAMN CLOUD INFRASTRUCTURE AS WELL AT LEAST I CAN LOG IN TO A VM TO FIX SHIT, fuck that noise)

I am in my happy place today. At least I'm having great success diving into minecraft modding on the side, that shit is FUN!

yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..

but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..

just understand it , God damn these shit people :(

Watching the small interpreter that I am building compile and run as I want it to is my big highlight, I am working on a project that a lot of people will hate really (I am trying to bring back VBScript for the web, but adding a ton of shit to it to make it a proper PHP alternative, this is a side project really)

But before that? Understanding the neckbeard rants in hacker news, legit, I used to browse there trying to find perspective of what experts would think, would not understand shit, eventually, skills came (and so did the degree) and I was able to fully understand them and even interact with them.

that also squandered all notions of impostor syndrome.

I sit on toilet to take a shit and i started falling asleep! I shit even while i sleep! This is magnificent. Miraculous. Every day its the same shit but more advanced style of shitting. I am becoming very skilled at shitting. I deserve to get fucking paid every time i take a shit. There should be a sport about who can shit more often every day and I'd be the winner. Bullshit floats all around us every day especially from jobs and interviews. It is inevitable to avoid it. Beautiful. And it does make sense. I keep saying life is shit anyways every time some shit happens. And im always right -- life IS shit anyways. The keyword is **anyways**. Because no matter what you do or dont do, life will be shit Anyways. Life is empty and meaningless. Even shit has more meaning than life itself. If meaning is something that is made up then you can't live life at all. If meaning is what you make it then there is no default meaning in the entire existence. All of it is shit. We either exist because God made us and doesnt want to tell us why or we exist by chance of statistical randomness. Hopefully its the first option as its less depressing

Btw terraform is fucking good

Am i a fucking peace of shit or is installing MySql one of the shittiest things?

It's Monday and I am back in the office. Going to continue the project from where I left on Friday. Fuck so boring shit.

stupid frameworks and all your stupid nice looking code but overload of necessity I am actually debating on going off of the grid or at least ditching frameworks and just throwing shit at the wall and squeezing my knee

Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.

Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!

Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!

//rant

So i ordered myself a web server and am trying to get access to phpmyadmin.
I got generated username and password for the phpmyadmin login.
So i created mysql databases and database users, outside the interface, but that's fucking it, i need to create tables as well, can't do that without the interface, cuz NO ACCESS!

Fucking piece of shit service provider, they had one thing to do and they can't even fucking do it right. How dare they call themselves web hosts at all...

It's probably a badly configured config file but i can't access the file myself to start sorting this shit out, so i got to wait at least 12 hours till work hours to be able to contact with them and sort this shit out.

IBM makes the ABSOLUTE shittiest products. It doesn’t matter what it is. They just don’t fucking try. They don’t try anymore. I don’t know if they ever did. I am convinced that 99.999999% of the world’s problems are because of IBM’s shit. War? IBM. Famine? IBM. Gun violence in America? IBM. The BM has to stand for Bowel Movement because that’s all they are. They’re fucking shit. And you can disagree with me. I don’t fucking care because I’m right and you’re wrong. IBM. Is. Fucking. Shit.

i am (somewhat unreasonably) mad at a ten year old classmate of my child. he showed off his programming skills by typing print commands. i wanted to mock him a little by pointing out python 2 would be out of date. he called my child a noob and suggested i don't know shit and he'd be coding c++.

so beside me obviously having no dignity for mocking someone quarter my age, i am not even mad for him talking shit about me, i am just overwhelmingly disappointed about his entitlement and blatant lies. so this is the future? this is an uprising nerd? i'd love to encourage every child on programming, but not with this attitude.

Haha this is the first time ever I have had to play catchup on a class as much as I am currently doing with one inside of my graduate program :V it has been absolute hell man.

On one side I love the concept and topics and will definitely dig more shit on it for myself for future reference and application. On the other the instructor and his OVER THE TOP CHINESE ACCENT will forever hunt my dreams and provide for major pain.

Can't wait for this class to be ovee. Sadly i might not get the grade that I want, but I know I am gonna pass it.

Never man. I ain't no brainiac, but I know for a fact that I have never done so poorly in a class in my entire life and I honest to heavens blame it on this dude not being able to explain shit properly or provide feedback on a timely basis.

devRantron AutoStart on boot, is pure evil......

me (almost) everyday:
Today i want to complete <insert a task here>
9 AM:
*me typing password in sddm (KDE Login)*
*ENTER* the first thing i see is devRantron's window already open and active.

*Ok, let me check recent rants for 2 minutes*

*me watching the clock in the corner* -- it's 10AM oh shit!

Boooooy symfony has changed a lot since laaaaaaaaast time I used it a long time ago.

Some days ago I finished a little project I built using express and mongo. I want to port it into symfony to see how the newest version (which is 4) fares and I must say. I am really impressed and happy with what I am seeing :D

This sucks because I am going to be dying to use this at work and I know that I am not going to be able to use it unless i act all sneaky and shit

I really don't want to do adult shit tomorrow. I really hate mondays. Shit is slow af in the office since everyone is on meh mode.
Not only that but tomorrow I have to go on an 1 hour drive to the other campus (I work at a college) to ensure that one of our products is good to go (its not, but it aint my fault or the lead developer, shit is from a different era and the programmer that made it was beyond crappy...we have not been given time to update) and just.....just no ok?

I sometimes hate being an adult. Sure, its got some perks....the only thing that comes to mind is sex right now but I am sure there are more.

Just.....ok?

Holy. Shit. Tests. I am testing. All week. Nothing but tests. I am one with the spec. You know what I realised today? Tests are a bit like life. Life is just one big spec suite that takes 75 years to run. Except there's no prod environment at the end of the DMT tunnel waiting for our green pass docket to say 'take me Lucifer, you absolute visionary: I'm ready'. We're all just a spec with no application. We're doomed. Nothing matters. I need to lie down

Alright, fellow coders. If I am required to spend 6-8 hours documenting your steaming pile of shit, MAKE SURE IT FUCKING COMPILES SO I CAN CHECK THE FUNCTIONALITY AND GET SCREENSHOTS! IT IS ALMOST NOON! I DONT WANT TO STAY LATE! Bitches.

We accepted a property listing project for a client.
I have been looking online for references and inspiration regarding design, features, plugins etc.

And this is what I just found. I shit you not. $20 and you get everything. WTF.

May be I will just buy it and give it to my client. $20 and you have like 40 lines of features, if not lied, which are more than enough to meet my client's requirements.

Why the heck am I working?
Am I the one who is charging too high to my client?

I've seen a bunch of people criticizing the people who repeatedly criticize/hate windows.

Lemme stop you right there.

Now, hating on something just because it IS that something is stupid, I'll grant you that much. But when windows does stupid shit, I am going to complain about said stupid shit.

Deal with it.

My best Fking friend thinks that iPhones and Windows phones are the best phones for hacking.. (cctv, websites and all those shit)...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH THEM ?!?!

I am so pissed off

I am so fucking pissed off

So much Fucking pissed off from all the shit thats going around with fucking people

Almost one seems to fucking respect you when you are broke

Everyone says they want to help you but when it comes to taking that action to actually help then everyone has got a new excuse

Fuck you

fuck YOU

My blood is so fucking boiling right now that i am going to explode of fucking writing code

So much fucking vicious fury insideme

Hhhhhhhh

Notion: Working with variable arguments in C is weird.

Hypothesis: It might be weird because I am used to it with more....err...dynamic languages.

Solution: hit the docs and stop bitching about shit

Situation that put me in here: Trying to do a game engine is hard....

Positively accepting criticism is a superpower I hope to acquire one day. As in jump in joy and violently smile when they say my code is shit level of positive acceptance.

I don't really hate or reject criticism. I am simply saddened by it, on a good day.

so yes, if you have this superpower, where's the source?

Just worked 12 hrs straight because the guy who earns more than twice my sallary (and ist currently on holiday in some fucking greek Island) ist to stupid to shit!!!!

This is unfair! You can not pay me very little because I am young and then give me all the responsibilities!!

My past 16hours activities

Woke up > destroyed a healthy running environment while trying to setup dual monitor on my manjaro kde > found out the nvidia driver was the culprit the whole the > the whole thing was a PITA > reinstalled the kde with windows dual boot > did the previous task 4/5 times till I felt satisfied ( call be a dumb but it is what it is ) > and now after wasting the whole fucking day I am setting up the environment finally.
Still I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish this shit before 4 am in the morning . It's now 1.26 AM .

Life is an interesting loop of hell .

Fuck Airlines man !

I came 6hrs early to the airport as I had to check out from the hotel.
Then this ass airlines delays flight by 2hrs !
Luckily I have my laptop with me on this flight,sorted some work in the first 2 hrs, bt now I am fuckin done!

Aaaah ! Also the airport wifi is so shit,I can even do a google search properly!

I hate my brain.
Got a compliment, my brain automatically rejected it and judged it.
Then it started to judge the judgement. Then the judge^3.
Then go all the way to the recursion.

For the last few days my brain is making me lose focus on everything because of this.
And the most fucked up thing is, I am paranoid of my own brain, so I really judged my memories and shit. I think I am losing my mind, my uni doesn't have consulting for students either nor I have money.

Any advices from ppl who went to a psychologists will be appreciated. A lot.

Today I was told by my team leader that I hadn't given them proper access to our website and they can't edit it. The repo is hosted on github and is opensource. Also the link can be found on the site....

I started my first ever job with PHP, and I was blown away by how simple it was to pick up. This was in 2006.

I am now looking at some code that was written by contractors in PHP. Holy shit, these guys are worse than the beginner me in 2006! And these are "professional PHP developers".
I am also slowly realizing why everyone and their cat hates PHP :/

Me: focused on coding....

Manager: we have that call tomorrow with the customers it guy.

Me: sure.

Manager: could you write the questions down, so you don't forget it.

Me: I Am FUCKING CODING.... I WROTE THE FUCKING SYSTEM ITTSSS MINE I DON'T FORGET WHAT I WROTE YOU PIECE OF SHIT....

Working at a start-up company and i must confess its blood sucking like you've got some vampires sucking life out of you. I have to work like a donkey or camel and sometimes feel like am right in the middle of hell , lots of requirements, changes, fixes, updates, and more products stuffs that pissed you up, I don't know what am feeling right now but I only know am coding and have to take some shit feelings out!!!!

Thomas had never seen such bullshit before (Insert name of that guy, who thinks Apple is hyped, and needs better password resets).

Honestly, when people say Indians are shit devs and write shit code, I could not really relate to that. I am an Indian, and I see pretty well educated, telented devs around.

Now I know why everyone else feels so.

I am sorry for his doings, people like him are the reason everybody hates us

Month passed so I looked at job offers and I am tired again.

All of them look the same and all of them look like crap. Some require stupid online tests preparation ( cause everyone likes to traverse tree 10000 times a day ).

Seriously I think I will go to supermarket and work there.
It’s more pleasant then getting input and pushing it in some stupid places all over again.
Finding some shit in shit pile, then moving this shit pile back and forth between different shit holes.

AI should start writing this stupid code, robots should provide food and build shelter.
The sooner the better for all of us.

I AM ABOUT TO KICK SOME PROFESSORS ASSES!!!!!!!!!!
THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE MAKING GO MAD BEYOND MY BOUNDS WITH THERE MOTHERFUCKING STUPIDITY AND SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

LISTEN YOU FUCKS I WORK AS A PROGRAMMER TO PAY FOR MY FUCKING TUITION. NO IT IS NOT A PART-TIME JOB. I FUCK UP MY SCHEDULE SO I CAN CAME HERE TO THIS SHIT LEARNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS DO NOT HAVE A LECTURE AFTER HOURS.

SO WE I SAID THAT I CAN ONLY CAME TO THIS CLASS AT THIS TIME AND DAY OF THE WEEK I AM NOT BULLSHITING YOU.

SO DO US A FAVOR AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID AND GIVING ME THAT CYNICAL SMILE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

FUCK YOU FUCKER AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CLASS.

I am seeing a lot of people infuriated a lot about windows10 updates.
And I am just sitting here on win7 with disabled updates.

Waiting for some free time to fetch my new computer with ryzen, throwing some linux dist on it and virtualize the shit out of windows for gaming only.

FUCKING SHIT! Am I really the fucking only one that is fighting with the cursor jumping into the fucking next line or to the start, while you are trying to select only a part of a long line?! I know theres wordwrap, but I fucking hate it!

Hello,

Wondering if anyone can give me some advice regarding stress management.
I am a sys admin of a continually amount of growing servers (now at over 130) and I do coding when I am not busy being screamed at by users. The stress is coming from the workload, but also the way that the workplace is running. The manager left, and now I am handling all his shit, and my own shit as well, and all his accounts have been handed over to me (accounts being clients here). The other IT guy who is supposed to help out with the server admin just finds other work to occupy himself, and I am losing my mind. There is literally an insurmountable amount of work that needs to be done, and it just cannot be done in the time that is allocated in the working hours. I am working overtime, unpaid overtime by the way, until 9/10PM at night to try and get through everything (*cannot apply updates and work on the app server while the users are live) and I am just starting to lose grip. I am taking my stress home with me (not taking it out on anyone), but I am not sleeping, not eating properly and even starting to dream about possible ideas to fault resolution when I sleep. I find that I am constantly tired, and it feels like a world is about to cave in on me. There is literally too much work to be done in too little time, and although I am more than capable of doing it (and will get it done, or the director will physically assualt me and accuse me of being useless, again) I feel that the struggle is just a bit too much.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to "wind down" or to "let go" just for a few minutes a day at least, so that I don't feel like I am on the job 24/7.

Thanks.

Everyone I know chilling and shit.

As a developer and having the ability to work from home I am being pushed more than usual and I think it is because of no commute time I am working more now a days.

For my fellow stuck at home Nintendo Switch owners: Ring Fit is legit af.

I am in good shape, but can honestly say that you will get a workout out of this bad boy AND by the time yo ass is feeling tired you will not notice it on account of the fun you will have.

Of course, not everyone will like it, shit, I know I didn't wanted to play it. But I did and I loved it.

I am Al, and I support Nintendo's agenda on getting switch owners jacked.

i swear to GOD i am so fucking productive, happy, full of life, thankful to live, WAY MORE PRODUCTIVE, WAY MORE NORMAL, WAY MORE PHYSICALLY BEAUTIFUL, WAY MORE MENTALLY STABLE, i get WAY MORE SHIT DONE, i appreciate people, i help people, i ACTUALLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL, i am actually WILLING TO LEARN ADVANCED SHIT THAT ARE BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING *BECAUSE* IT IS SOMETHING I ENJOY TO FUCKIN DO, WAY MORE FUCKIN POSITIVE, WAY MORE FUCKIN SOCIAL, all of this --- when i do NOT fucking study or go to the fucking cuckold college.....