Logged in after approx 1.5 years. I want to be active here again! In the past 1.5 yr, I ...
- got married
- got a new MacBook
- moved to a new place
- got a new job
Wooooooo

Job opening tells us that they want someone who knows:
C, C++, C#, Java, VB, PHP, HTML, Javascript, MySql, Postgree, windows, Linux, Mac OS, a degree in computer science and a few years of experience.

What you'll actually do in most of those jobs: Deal with Excel spreadsheets.

My boss just designed this and asked me to implement it, without asking for any input.

I was a UX designer at my previous job. This makes me want to cry.

Was already communicating with a recruiter and made her very clear (a gazillion times) that I don't want a Microsoft related job.

After a few months she calls me telling about this amazing opportunity; a Microsoft related job.

Told her what I told her fifteen quintillion times before and she responded very guilt trippy/offended because she spent so much time on working this out for me.

Fucking retarded and awkward.

I look for a job cuz I want to buy games. Now I have a job I don't have time for games.

Job offer: "All employees will be provided Macbooks"

Nope! Just nope.

Let your dev chose their equipment, thank you very much.

If they want a Linux laptop, buy them one. If they want a Windows workstation, give it to them. And if and only if they want a Macbook, give them a Macbook.

I used to work in two companies having the requirement to use a Macbook for two years.

I know its pros. I know its cons. My conclusion for me: Never again!

Donald Trumph is a remainder that you should just apply for a job you want even if you don't have the experience!!

Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.

Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?

Life is about spamming. Want to get into a relationship? Spam every girl you see and like in the streets and ask nicely.
Want more clients? Spam.
Want a job?
Tell everyone you know, that you search for a job.
Send a resume to every company you desire. Spam.

Sometimes when I meet new people and they ask "What is your job?" I want to answer "I'm a plumber" 😄

Because I'm so sick of reinstalling Windows on people's laptop's and other shit like that 😔

It was for a job interview, I wouldn't specify what the challenge is but they said I could use any language I want; I chose Python. They said I failed the coding interview because it was not Java.

I was fired from a job where the boss had it in for me. He was a really experienced dev, but he was also very arrogant. He hated me questioning him. I didn't have the evidence nor the "political" clout to back up my criticisms.

It was humbling.

I realised two things:

keeping your mouth shut is often the best approach.

And

my own arrogance was keeping me from getting better, from learning new things. Not just for the company, but for myself.

I want to write better code, make better design decisions, utilise design patterns, actually think about what I'm doing, and be able to justify why I'm doing it.

I want to be able to choose the best tools for the job, not the best tools for me.

I want to be a person that is open to criticisms and I want to be someone who is always ready to learn new things.

Got fired.
Fuck
3 days on the job...
Told on the interview I didn't know the machine OS but I could learn in a few days...
Well they want someone with experience on that machines I don't know...

It's like asking a Javascript programmer to work with Java...

Whatever...
There are more companies

A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!

got a call from a recruiter for a job. said "wokey, let's see what you got to offer"
get to the interview, the first question is "why do you want to work in our company?"
me: i don't know, you called me!

How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But you can guarantee the next developer who comes into the room will want to take it out and replace the bulb and the fixing because the previous developer did a shit job.

I don't understand, it's the third time I'm being refused for a job because they want someone with more experience. Then why are you looking for junior developer ?!

So I just told my manager that I want to resign my job.

I have decided to accept the offer from a German software company. First time working overseas, full of uncertainty.

I don't know I am excited or nervous now.

Another crappy job advertisement this time courtesy of Glassdoor: get spammed to death by job ads.

So it says graduate software engineer but they want someone with ideally 1 -3 years of B2 experience, seriously how is this fair?

Like with my other job ad rants:

What a fucking joke, lol

Client(over the phone):- I want an Android app where there job seekers and recruiters.

Me:- sounds reasonable enough, ok

Client:-i want job seekers to apply for the job and recruiters to post the job.

Me(gets a bad feeling);- doable ok.

Client:- and I want an admin user who can see all the users and do everything.

Me(yup there it is):- what do you mean by everything?

Client :- you know everything, talk to recruiters talk to see everyone using the app, you know everything.

Me :- no I don't know this "everything" that you speak of, tell me more, what screens (activity) should that have and stuff.

Client (getting irritated):- everything the admin user usually does.

Me(yare yare daze):- i will show number of users in a graph.

I have a feeling this is not over yet

On my linkedin profile it is clearly mentioned that I am a Java developer.

Recruiter: Hey, I want to offer you a super cool PHP job position.
Me: But I haven’t mentioned anywhere that I am familiar with PHP.
Recruiter: Yeah, I know, but I thought you may want to switch to PHP for a while.
Me: o_O. Fuck you, miss. I do not switch programming languages like I change my socks. Who the fuck teaches you these approaches?

I used to love my job.

Then I disliked my job.

The people I worked with kept me at my job.

When those people left all I had was my dislike.

Now I hate my job.

And I'm really starting to hate the people I work with.

I'm not even sure I even want to keep developing anymore, but at this point I couldn't support my family any other way.

So I'll stay smouldering for the next 40 years, in a career dumpster fire that's long lost its magic just so I can give my family a better life.

I started writing a rant about my boss a while ago.

Never sent it.

Woke up to signal messages from her to our core team signal group that she’s been let go.

Starting to think maybe there is a god, because she was really pissing me off and micromanaging and making me want to quit my awesome job.

Also the new boss doesn’t want to bother making a job description for me but instead wants me to let him know what path I want to take, which certifications , etc.

Also got a maxed out m3 MacBook Pro today. The sleek black edition. My team is going to get our Dowding team logo etched into it.

Today was better than Christmas. Almost best day of my life.

SMM: Can you chat over the phone? Just want to make sure we are on the same page! I am not great with web lingo!

Me: Sure.

Me, internally: You're a social media manager. That's literally your one fucking job.

ruthless executor I want a job not to attack a country. 😂😁

I literally don't understand why every entry level dev position requires a minimum of 5 years of experience. Have people forgot what entry level means?!?! I just want a new job 😩

Tired of my coding Job. Want to become a house husband 😅😉

just got an email that they have a good opportunity for a -female- graduate of computer science where they don't require any programming or other skills. wtf
Do they want females just to up their fem statistics?

safe to say I did not reply, i am not unskilled and I don't want a job like that!

My worst choice was walking out of my first ever job.

The owner of the company was a very kind person and he really liked and appreciated my work, he even gave me a mid level salary straight away even though I was still in college and didn't have any prior experience.

But when I found myself getting so lucky I thought "oh it's so easy to get a job I can get one whenever I want" then I quit the job for college as I didn't want to do both at the same time due to stress.

The funny thing is that when I quit I didn't even focus on college, I just used the money (which was a lot) to go out and buy stuff I don't need and I even failed a course in the next semester after I was one of the top students in school.

I hate recruitment agencies. Had a conversation, i said no thanks. They phone back they next day and tell me i need to let them know if i want to go forward with the job then get angry with me as i tell them no again. WTF?!?!!

Had a job interview for a front end dev (Involving a technical test). After couple of days, recruiter says - Unfortunately they say that you are too focused on best practices so they want to pass.

Got reminded of this job search bullshit they say after interviews, when they say you're not "fit for the culture" but they want you to be "challenging the status-quo".
Like, take a fucking pick. Either you want someone who follows and fits in, or you want someone who innovates and stands out. 😒

I forgot to say the biggest distraction isn't that guy at work, no it's actually my job!

I'm an app developer but I want to be a game developer, it takes me so long to get to/from work.

This job is boring and I want to get another one at least closer to home and can at least pay me a bit more than minimum wage so I can save up more :/ but from the looks of things the jobs listed are the wanting experience without giving any.

Quited my job because I want to code and not project managing (instead of coding). Found a new job as front-end developer with opportunity to become a full stack dev.

I’m in the middle of interview stages for a new job, how do I tell them I changed my mind and don’t want to continue without burning bridges? Or am I just rude

I signed the contract for my first software developer job! I just want to thank everybody here that’s pushed me to do better, challenged my assumptions, and contributed to my growth as a dev and person. You all are great.

Had a talk with my mentor and the CTO today.
They made very clear that they'd want to keep me employed after I finished my bachelor and briefly asked about my plans.
I am happy and this kind of gave me some more peace of mind concerning job security.

Thing is though, I don't know yet what I want to do in two years from now. There are some possibilities and of course I don't know how my private life will develop.

If I stay there, I could finish my bachelor and then do a master halftime, like I do now with my bachelor - or I could stop at my bachelor and start working full-time again.
I rather want to stay there - though I strongly dislike the 9 to 5 job model, the work would be in a field I'm interested in. My colleagues are a nice bunch of people and I respect them a lot, especially the team I work with.

On the other hand, I always thought about freelancing and was researching possibilities during the last year. My skills are not so easy to translate into a freelancing job, though, if I don't want to do at least 50% software development.

Or I could get a job somewhere else which would have the charms of starting from scratch. Many new experience, much new things, wow.
Maybe also a better salary though if I'd be doing the job for the money only, I'd probably have worked elsewhere.

...

I'm usually quite relaxed about my future plans but some of these things were on my mind for some time now, also, I'm not sure whether I can "define" my future just yet.

Also, I'm overthinking it, yes.

I will have another talk in about a month.
No pressure, right?

I want to finish my masters degree, get a nice job that helps me find my place in CS, get a new, bigger flat and add some hamsters to my family to become the crazy single hamster lady I was always meant to be.

!rant

found this when wanting to check a notification, paused it multiple times, and my boss was: why does this keep on stopping!

Guess I better not do it again if I want to keep my job lol

Upwork Job post:
I want a small website where you can post product images with title, price and descriptions. It should have a search functionality like amazon. The users must be able to add products it in their cart, post reviews and buy from there. I want it to integrate with PayPal and other payment methods. And yes, i want to be able to write blog post too.

Budget; $50

XD

When a shitty website does a bad job at preventing behavior by disabling client-side items (such as right click), I take it as a challenge, and usually do everything they don't want me to, simply out of spite.

After two years... I finally was able to quit my job.
I'm finally in a cool job, with a great team, with a cool project (from scratch! )
I have to learn Spring and Vue.js, knowing that I never tried any framework of these languages. But I really want to make it, I didn't suffer for two years, just to be beaten by a stack :p

Thanks for the ones who commented on my rant a few months ago, telling me to keep hoping for a better job. I got hired three days after the end of my previous contract, and I couldn't feel better now!

Just happened to stumble across an indian job offer. They want a fulltime php dev for 20k indian moneys a month. Thats not even $300. Are they... Are they serious or is this just a bad company? Because thats less then what i made with a part time frontend job when i was just a beginner. Is this a trend in india to underpay people by this much?

I’m about to quit this job, this customer don’t care about the people, they just want quick results and people available 24/7, this is taking my mental health, I think I’ll become a farmer instead.

I just realize that companies dont value a good developer, they just want a developer that can do the job done for clients to get money, i understand that just recently and im sad that some people are just in it for the money not for the love of the craft and technology.

If you want a New Zealand developer job, you need a work visa. If you apply a work visa you need a job offer to get enough points...

Why is it that every single employer in this field expects you to live and breathe tech and have it as your only source of enjoyment? Can't it just be a job that I show up and do every day and then spend my free time with whatever the hell I want? This morning's job interview:
Hiring manager: so what do you like doing in your free time?
Me: talks about actual hobbies, trying to be personable, making a few jokes, etc
HM: soooo.. nothing tech related then?

I can't imagine any other job expecting this amount of devotion. "So you want to be an accountant but you don't do it after hours for fun!?" Why is this normal?

**Sorry for ranting, job search is getting increasingly frustrating.

I found my PATH to grow.
Now I have an excuse to say that I don't want to be a doctor.
(being a doctor in korea = best job, awesome, only smart dudes go)

Special thanks to App inventor and devRant

i want a job where i get paid for open source development

everyone can dream right ?

Went to a job interview for ASP.net even though I don't know ASP.net since they asked me to come. I got the job since I was the only candidate that knew what OOP is.
I don't really want to work there.

When you get a job in big company and all you have to do is to make code changes every fucking day in existing code and you want to quit...

Me in conversation with the CTO a couple of weeks before starting the job:
I don't want to be mainly doing ui stuff
Him: that's cool
Me now: HTML

So, my lunchtime is spent applying for jobs...

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

Regardless of your education, your career will almost certainly start with a low-paying job that's not really what you want to do. You'll do that for a year or two, and move to a job that's a little closer to what you want. Until after 10-15 years, you'll be doing work that actually interests you.

Almost every career starts with a period of what American blues musicians call, "paying your dues."

Ohhh! That feeling when you quit your stupid job . Now i can say whatever the fuck i want to my boss and his loyal bitches. Without giving a flying fuck.
Sorry, i get so excited.

Guess who got fucking fired. They want someone more experienced. Well fuck off. Its no wonder why there are no front end developers in your company. Now until the end of this month I have to find some job because of bills.. Going to try freelancer and check a couple of companies in my area. Any tips on how to get a freelance job?

So, I want to start a blog where I can post the result of my research and showcases as tutorials... I though that if I'm doing it for my job, it could help somebody else.

What would you recommend me? Any advice?

Waiting for an email from a job j applied for as a SQL manager, they have no IT and they want me to rework their data model for the year. Did I mention I'm incredibly underqualifyed.

WK289 Playing automation games like factorio, heavily modded Minecraft, satisfactory, etc, let's me do all the things that I want to do in my job but we simply don't have the time or resources for. It makes me a better engineer because I'm less frustrated during my day job.

I'm starting my new job in 10 days, but I don't have the proper internet access to feel really confident about it. My parents want me to move out of the house so they don't have to accommodate for my new job. I'm getting chemo in a few weeks. I'm really sick of fighting shit. Trusting in the plan though.

What if I told you : you can use whatever the fuck OS you want, whatever the fuck stack you want ?

And IF you take a job in a certain stack, don't like it ? Quit your job !

Stop beeing whining bitches. Don't like current job ? Find a new one.

You think your app is revolutionary ? TRY and push it (And fail)

You think that at 16 you know better than people who are 30+yo ? prove it by actions.

It's easy. You have full control of what you can do.

Stop bitching, start coding.

windows, linux, mac, MS-DOS. Noone cares what you use. As long as you do the job.

I'm sure this has been posted a million times but when a job post or recruiter ask for a minimum of 5 years of React, does that mean that they want one of the original creators?

I want a developer job so baaaddd :( !!! My city sucks for technology jobs. And the few jobs open want 50+ years of experience 😫

So I taught myself basic PHP in one day today after contemplating and realizing itll help me get the job I want. And i made a practice website with it today and im pretty proud of it so far.

Go to interviews. You always learn stuff in any interview. Either be a technology or design pattern or any freaking thing they use there.

Basically 2 things can happen:
you get the job or ... you don't,
either way you will still leave with some extra knowledge.

Also don't be afraid to tell how much money you want to earn. Getting a job ans feeling pissed about the salary is a horrible feeling.

so I am about to take a full time job for less than 150 dollars a month, with all my skillset being put to use, I'm supposed to teach arduino and web development and be at work at least three times a week including Saturday.

I just want to die, probably

dead people dont stress

Their intent is great but if they are over saturating the market with mediocre developers then that is a bad thing.

The reason i say that is because they are often cheaper and more eager than skilled individuals that want the job done properly.

It's a job description for an entry level Software Developer role at Apple.

Basically they want
- A Front end dev
- A back end dev
- An iOS expert
- A Gimp/photoshop designer
- A streaming data expert
- An Oracle/Teradata expert
- A Kafka expert ( Not shown in the picture)

And on top of that the guy should be able to learn new tech faster.

Do they want a developer or a fucking terminator?

I want to propose a toast for al the people who is right now sitting on a shitty meeting listening to shit that has nothing to do with their job

I mentioned earlier that I did well in a tech screen. It was 2.5 hours long.... Now they want me to do another 2 hour interview. How am I supposed to find a job while working without getting fired? ? ?

Had a job interview yesterday and I was so nervous, couldn’t think straight at all so I figured there’s no chance of me getting the job.

And just now i got an email saying they want another interview..... what? how? huh..?

Recently got out of the military now I work a full time job, have a wife and a 15 month old son, go to college full time online and try to learn Java and android development in my other time. I want to work as a developer so badly but I'm just not good enough yet. It's also super hard to know what level of knowledge you need to obtain a job because all entry level positions want you to have years of experience in 10 fucking languages and shit like what the fuck? No breaks, hungry to succeed.

Some days I get bored with programming and I think I have no talent and I wish I had a different job. But someday I love programming and I want to code all day.
Is it normal? Do you have these mix feelings?

I feel like Unreal Engine for Linux is obsessed with compiling stuff:

Want to get Unreal Engine? Here's the source code, go compile it yourself.
Installed that, let's launch it. Compiles more stuff.
Now you're on the project selection screen, good job! Imma compile these shaders though.
Want to make a project with C++? That means I'll have to compile some more stuff...

If only my CPU wasn't a potato it wouldn't be so bad.

Started a new job today.
They gave me a Mac.

Why in actual fuck is there no shortcut for the terminal? Took me half a day to get an iterm hotkey working only to find out it only works if you have a terminal open already.

Stupid apple. I want my mod+enter back.

I saw a job I could apply, I matched all the requirements, 100%. Not only the bases requirements, but I also had almost all the extras, and the company was in my country and spoke my language, it's good for me since my English isn't perfect.

I didn't apply because I'll graduate soon and I want to focus on my degree.

I bet that when I graduate all my current knowledge will be obsolete and I'll no find any job - not even if I beg for it - until I starve. Do you want to bet a beer? I'm ready

!rant
Wish me luck! Just landed a new exciting job as full stack developer! Finally I get to do what I truly want!!!
I can't express how happy I am right now! Finally done with being a supporter!! (was originally hired to only manage Windows servers and not doing external customer support)

Help, I don't know if I want to code as a job for the rest of my life.
I feel that I miss physical activity in my job. Its just sitting and programming.
I like programming, it's an infinite series of puzzles, and I like puzzles. But more physical would be nice.

Maybe I should find a 2nd job that is more physical and balance the two.

What is everyone's thoughts on this?

Go for a job as an developer. Tell them I'm not UX/UI I'm more engineer / coder... "We understand, that's what we want"... Complete the coding project.... "Sorry it's not very pretty, and a bit off on the iPhone screen..." - fuck you.

Left a php job because I was fed up with php and was promised I could work with different languages.

Start new job, 2 weeks of work with a different language. A few days away from completing the micro service and it's been decided it's going to be deleted and I've been told I'm now to fix bugs in php.

Actually given up on life. Dont want to go in. Want to work at KFC. Had enough of being a php fixer :'(

Feel like the job I was sold now doesn't exist.

Why is it that when a job ad a recruiter sends has a salary range and they then ask your current salary and expected salary, they're shocked when you want a substantial increase in salary when it's still within the range they posted for the role. Sure it's more than 20% of my current job but if the new job can pay more than that and they say they can why should I lowball? Why does my current salary matter for the new jobs salary?

if(!dev_related && is_life_related) ReadOn();

So today I received 4 job rejections... 4 in one day...

That raises my rejection tally for just this year 48, I just want a fucking job! Even got confirmation that 3 of the 4 rejections were because I only have 2 prior job locations... THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM!

You complain about me not having prior jobs so you don't let me have a chance at other jobs...

No fucking wonder unemployment is a thing -.-

Friend of mine who has a job that uses MS office at most, sent me a message saying "I want to make my own AI, any good python books?"...no previous programming experience other than playing video games...slow down there bud

It's a shame that to get the job you want you have to jump every few years

Find what you want to build. Watch some videos. Code. Grab some books. Code. Find some friends to code. Code.
And learn some theory to improve your code. Code.

Get a job. Code. Get paid.

So just got email from my potential investors - saying they are not interested. This is my second major failure this year.... I spent my every dim on developing the prototype.
Now I am dead broke and unemployed.
I have sent 10 job applications - gotten no reply.
Open Freelancer account (fiveer, upwork, guru).
Yet no gig.
I am slowly going into depression.
Please can someone help me and give me a damn gig or job.
I still believe in my entrepreneurship pursuit but right now, with zero money to do anything, I just want a job damn.

I postponed a job interview due to overtime stress at current job.
I want a New job cause I'm not being treated well and worked to death.
I think the exhaustion and sleep depravity is screwing with my priorities.
Why in hell did I postpone?

Almost a month has gone by with my new job, and I already hate it. I thought it would be fun... but it is the worst!
They expect us to work 24/7! What are we? Robots? I am not working 24/7, end of discussion. Even if this means I have to quit my job at the end of this week if they don't agree to my "demands" about having a healthy working hours. I am already looking for a new job, because I got a feeling they won't want me there anymore after this week, because we're going to have a meeting about this.

The company now is making us work again on Saturday.

They want to 2 guys (me and the mobile developer) to entire systems for them in a 1-month time span.

I need another job asap.

my job is to build to spec and get things working

NOT to fuck around with git's exotic features so the fucking commit history "looks nice"

its called a version control system for a reason. SO YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR FUCKING VERSIONS

IF YOU WANT A NICE PLOT, GO READ A BOOK OR WATCH A DRAMA MOVIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I hate my job (work as a waiter). I am seriously considering quitting in a few weeks, but I want to get a job as a junior developer even though I am not very good at programming. I live in Dallas and am wondering what are the things I must know before applying to a company.

The first thing that matters to me for applying for a job is how their project that I am going to work on will improve me. I have refused a job position with a higher salary just because they want me as their only developers for their website and other things. Instead, I applied for another job with lower salary but now I am a backend developer of a team of 15 developers making a great product and I have learned many experiences.

Junior, junior, junior. I'm like -junior. We want a junior with 3 years experience. How is someone supposed to get to the 3 years experience if there aren't any jobs accepting juniors will no professional experience. I can code, , albeit not professionally, that's why I want a job, to learn in a professional setting, but the junior jobs all want past experience.

Maybe one day. Maybe never. For now I'll just keep rolling on the grind in my shitty factory job. Moving boxes from one place to another with the toughest mental challenge being which way to stack said boxes.

I am a young junior with a big dick who gratuated top in my class so now Im making 300k a year in this first job in a fortune 5000 company. However Im not happy and I think I want more from life. What I should do? /s

Typical /r/cscareerquestions post

I got my last job more or less by luck.
The freelancer platform I was active on, had once an offer for 100.- if you find a parttime webdev for some small business.
I was looking for this kind of job anyways to finance my parttime study so I wrote back.
15 minutes later, their boss called me and wanted to meet me for an interview.

3 days later, at the interview, we talked roughly 10 minutes about my experience and then it was all about the upcoming project and at the end, about when I want to start and what I want as my salary.
Needless to say I got the job and the best: Also the 100.- 😎

I want to get into a job that I can sustain mentally while I raise a kid.

There are days when reading a book to a toddler after work is too mentally straining. How is it going to be when he wants help with school?

A day can hardly pass now before I get numerous unsolicited messages on LinkedIn from recruiters that want to know if I'm miserable at my current job and want to jump ship.

It used to be very fascinating back in the days but kinda annoying these days. My inbox is now full of such messages and it's beginning to get to me. I even got one a few days after I started a new job. Like what the actual fuck. My profile clearly says I recently moved to a new company.

I also have numerous pending friend requests from a lot of recuiters like i want my network to be filled with only recuiters. That's not why i joined LinkedIn and have an up to date profile.

I just want to be left alone and not be bothered and mentally harassed by recuiters on LinkedIn. Is that too much to ask???

I want a boring software developer job. I’ve been working for software consulting companies since the beginning. And is just so stressful. Clients always ranting, the need to always be in the cutting edge, or even the complete opposite. There’s always pressure to get certified in X o Y. I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to be constantly catching up with the latest stack or framework. I want a boring job. A slow-paced job maybe maintain some old hunk of software that does not give too much trouble. I’m tired of putting down fires all the time. Of running against the clock to deliver a meaningless app. Because all this apps don’t contribute to anything in the world. Just more clutter, more bloat. I just want to work 8 to 5 and be done with it. Just throw myself in the couch after it and play some games. Maybe do some gardening. Or bread. I love bread. Don’t you love bread?

Received an email from my previous employer (I worked there two years ago)

They have positions opening up in a few months and want me back.

Here I was worried my current job is at risk and now more than likely I have a job waiting for me now.

It's 2016, and I'm fighting with a version of Crystal Reports that was developed for VS2005. My employer claims we're on the cutting edge... I WANT A NEW JOB.

Hey this 'recruiter' texted me a job in Iowa. Glad he texted it. I would not want to miss out on it. Also glad he grammar checked it. Wow double whammy!

I am sure Iowa is a nice place but I live in NY. Tough commute. Glad he did his homework - 'This is Ruchi for Arete Technologies I have job opportunitie for you position is Business Continuity Manager. Location is Des Monies,IA.let me know'

My freind knows I do programing as a hobby - I do want a job but I am only 15 - so whenever he can he will leave a bracket open in a text message because he knows that I will respond instantly closing it. I can't stand looking at the eyesore!

Dear recruiter,

Open space is not a perk.
If someone tells you they want remote, not bit of remote or any other indication,
Why would you ask how much remote is ok?

If someone tells you "i want open space" would you ask "how much open space? Like half office?" No, you wouldn't.
But for sure, what is not acceptable when someone tells you they want remote is answering "that's a shame" if you want to get a developer a job, work, if you want to get cash because of a developer then do that.

I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.

Job descriptions are only accurate for about a few months after that its the wild west whatever they want you to do.

Just read a job posting for a junior .Net software dev. 2 years experience in C#, Visual Studio, .Net. Usual suspects right, though two years experience for a junior seems off. But they also want embedded systems experience. wat?

The shady company that tried to interview me for a data entry job when I applied as a software developer called me. They left a message asking if I was still interested in a help desk position. Like nope and I never was. Been working at my current job as a software engineer for over a month. Try finding people who actually want the jobs you're offering!

Searching for a new job in a different language than you have experience in. Seriously, no one seems to really understand that if you can code in one OO language then you can pretty much do them all!

I don't want to do PHP any more you fucks!

When you've got your first job as a junior dev with a company of 5 people, but don't have a mentor and don't really want to pay £12/hr for one.

Eslint + airbnb is the closest I have to a mentor.

You want me to work in-loco, even thought my job can be done remotely? That's fine.

Your company's offices are located in a expensive district of a expensive European capital? That's fine too.

You want to pay me a salary so low, that I can only afford to live 2 hours away from work? Fuck That!!!

If your company is in a expensive location, either offer me a high salary or stop bothering me with bad job offers.

I HAD typed up a big, long rant... but then I deleted it because as much as I WANT to rant today, I realized I'd prefer to still have a job tomorrow (yeah, I know, could always do a throwaway account, but fuck that). It's just one of those days in paradise.

Want:
AI that can be smart enough to interface with recruiters and companies during a job search. A way to weed out the shit companies and recruiters.

If they can do this, we can too!

Did I just come up with a service?

Dear recruiters
Please have the courtesy to reply whether my resume is shortlisted or not, I don't want your personally crafted rejection mails, an automatic rejection mail will save a lot of job hunters a lot of time. we have other things to focus on than waiting for your mails.

If you want other people to have fun at their job, tell them they did good work and give a compliment or two.

Everyone loves appreciation

Find a job that allows personal growth on the boss time. This helps you do what you want while doing with being the slave of the customer in between.
In the end your company will profit from it.

Does anyone know if it is possible for a recent graduate to get a remote job? Want to work and travel on the way.

Finally switched jobs after 7 years, with the expectation to have bigger workload then at my previous job where i almost fell a sleep.
To find even less workload at my new job, asked my manager if i could do something extra because i'm bored.

To get the answer that i don't have permission to do extra work for a half year, because they think its already a big workload for a new employee and they don't want to give me a burn out..
Sigh... what to do... any ideas?

Don’t take a job you don’t want.

That has worked for me pretty well so far.

My current job makes me want to question my life choices.
Its a complete burnout.
I do 9 to 6 never 6 though its always 7 or 730 come home exhausted, and still on almost all days need to attend to customers after hours. Customer meeting at 8.30pm are quite consistent occuring. Being a developer, debugging meetings I can understand to a certain extent, but why the f i am preparing quotes and pitching products.
Want to prep for new job boom no time left to do so other than weekends.

I really hate when I have to work on something wrong. I mean, the client wants to embedded a third party service on their website, using iframe. Then, they want us to change the layout and behavior of the embedded page. And well, no matter what, I have to do what they want. Great job.

I hate dealing with (business) users... They keep asking why...

You're the fucking ppl that told me this is what u want a year or two ago...

Where can I find a job where its mostly dev and not answering why every day?

About to quit my job.. looking for another one in a different city for my lady..
The thing is that I love my job, I love what I do, I love my team.. but I love her more.. this may not be the best place for this, how it's on my path to do what I want to accomplish as a Dev and as a human being.. frustration++

Just had a job offer in my mailbox:
They pay more than 3 times the money I earn now, and the used technologies are exactly what I want to do.

But it is limited for 12months and in a different city about 500km away.

Damn.

So just went for an interview that a slimy recruiter set up, 'yes they want experience in C#', great! Finally get back on top of my rent, sort my life out. Get to the interview, fucking C++ job...

I've had enough.

Just curious on an opinion from other Devs who don't actually work as a programmer...

Would you want to?

I currently work in retail and have a dream job as a genetic engineer majoring in dormant diseases (eg cancers) and personally would never take a job where I will be programming, never merge a hobby and a profession...

Am I alone in this one?

Reading job offerings makes me want to choke their writers, I don't fucking care about all the fucking bs you are writing, just give a SHORT list with SIMPLE info.

Just one post already gave me a headache.

Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.

In other news i just started my thesis yay.

My fiance is also a developer, we moved to a bigger city and she is looking for a job. She lost all motivation and doesn't want to look at any code anymore... Not even my freelance projects.. Does anyone have any motivational things to say? She doesn't use devrant, but i'll show her this post.

Guys I have lots of rants about my office job. I want to find a remote software dev position so that I can move wherever I want. Does anyone have experience with a full time remote position?

Things to accomplish within the next two years = [
0. Get a job that actually pays me.
1. Use money acquired from said job to buy a bunch of stuff I want. (Like an actual PC instead of a laptop)
2. Learn a bunch of things about back end development (CSS is my passion)
3. Make a 2d game engine, so I can find what the fuck a game engine is/does.
4. Learn to comment my code more frequently.
5. Move out of the big nest.
6. Stop getting mad at video games.];

1. Coming everyday with passion to solve a problem.
2. Pay is very good
3. Last and most important..
When you are a coder you have the privilege not to comunicated verbally to anyone as long as you like.
The job becomes the quit place if you want to.

HELL YEAH! First day into the vacation and after checking the mails, I see that I have a new job offer from a company I have applied for. It is not the company with the highest priority on my list, but it is still cool to have them inviting me for a talk that fast.

Btw. I have a question to the experienced job switchers among us (I do not mean job switchers in a bad way).
What do you guys set your priorities on when it comes to joining a company? Do you have any tips for people who want to join a company in a general view? What NO-GOs can you give to us? Thanks.

When in an application security talk put on by our cyber security department and one team (not mine) is being chastised for only doing client side validation, another dev asks so at what point can we trust the user? A few people nod and indicate they want an answer, and the speaker, said never, you never trust the user.

I can't believe people can graduate and get a job and keep a development job, especially in a highly government regulated company like where I work

Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me

I forgot how much effort job applications were. Like, just writing a cv is a lot of effort, then some companies want a cv and then answer some interview style questions too 🙄

I’m so fucking tired of having to work with shitty code day in and day out and not being able to optimize it. I want to quit so bad without having a job lined up… I fucking hate being a developer now thanks to these fucking pieces of shit.

I took a list on my job applications the other day. So far i’ve contacted 35 companies this year!

You can say about this covid crisis what you want but you can’t deny i’m pro-active. More talks tomorrow ánd friday. #wishmeluck

Hey, guys, little help here I am about to graduate and I want a job as Linux support engineer or junior sysadmin but apparently, the job experience required for these jobs is 1-2 years. Any suggestions how should I proceed with this because my other option will be to opt for software developer then.
Thanks in advance.

First time posting. But I need an advice, I want to learn a programming language to get a better job. I have just the basics of C#, should I keep going with C# or go with F#? I heard a lot of good thing about F#. Thanks. You guys are awesome!

I just accepted a job offer, while the current company I'm working in (which also offered me a job, cuz' I was in apprenticeship) has no idea about it. I fear the moment when I'll discuss about it with my current boss, because he accepted me as a beginner and now that I'm trained by this company I'll leave it :/
But I'm young and want to discover new work experiences so I hope he'll understand.

turned down software engineering job offers after college because I thought it be a good to take a temporary position as a controls engineer so I could pay off student loans faster.

realizing how big of mistake it was. working long hours on uninteresting tasks. I just want to code for a living.

Finally starting my first job as a Junior Android Developer!
Any tips -for a first timer- you want to share? 😊

When we want to save our job, we call unexpected bug a FEATURE. :D

In the last module of my bootcamp(make all the jokes you want about bootcamp I have thick skin and a degree 😬) and just started applying for jobs. First job I applied for was a big company asking for 5+ years experience.

Might as well get used to rejection early 😂

I want to paint...again...

My head - how the fuck u gonna paint with a full time job and a full time baby and full time housework.

Me - I don’t know how but I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.

Hunted out my paint box and brushes and kept em on table.....

Mini canvases...gonna start small, can’t handle big one for now...

Let’s seeeeeee

When you have two managers and one of them is trying to screw you into a position on his team even though you have made it clear that you want nothing to do with that type of development.

I am looking for a new job now...

It's been quite a while since I've been hit with a product/app idea that's making me lose my sleep and making me want to quit my job and start working full time on it.

Let's see if I can pull this off.

Have you ever felt that you did such a piss poor job that you don’t even want to charge the client for it?

Got the job. Not sure I want the job. Or any job in my field. A quarter century feels like too long for any profession. But I don’t have any other marketable skills. Maybe I’ll be a truck driver. Or wash peoples’ car windows when they’re stopped at traffic signals.

Junior front end developer.

Interest in saas, js and jQuery,
1 year html5 and JavaScript, knowledge of image authoring (Photoshop)

Job is wordpress customisation.

18k... Degree in media required.

So you want a graphic designer for junior developer wage.. lol.

I'm in this weird place where I want a job but also want to learn new languages so that I have better chances of getting a job. I also really like learning and figuring out new ways to develop things and seeing what's out there.

I really want to quit my job , anyone want to hire a guy who can sometimes google stuff ?

When this guy started asking me a bunch of googled questions such as:
Why should I hire you?
Why do you want this job?
What do you know about the company?
Describe your biggest fear?
What's your biggest strength/weakness ?
Dood pls

Job description of an internship. They want me to know react framework in Java. I am going to apply anyway coz i'm desperate for a job.

So I want to know, can I shill at least one of my "working" sites here? I want to do measure some organic/natural traffic on this so original site(/sarcasm)

Also Im want to know if there are people here interested to help me out with my other site if they could ... specially since my finances will perhaps force me soon to take a local (retail) job to afford "normal" living

Everytime I consult with senior devs on how to transition from my sysadmin job and get my first dev job they always tell me to get a CS degree.

Look. I will get that fucking degree eventually. But I want to build up dev skills and learn from a company before killing myself over math crap for 3 years. But it's like a vicious cycle. Every junior position I apply to rejects me because I have no degree.

I'm fucking frustrated and depressed.
What should I do? I want to break from the IT meme and get a dev job.

In the meantime I'm doing small projects and freelancing in my very little free time. But I feel I'll never truly be a developer until I work as one professionally.

How do I quit a great job? How do I tell this to my boss who doesn't want me to leave?

Want to develop myself by working abroad for better experience, can't get a job abroad because I don't have enough experience.

The ability to find a cushy job with comfortable pay, benefits, and security. I don't want much, I just want to not have to need much ever again.

Dear recruiters just because I apply to a specific job online (dice) does not mean I want to be called about jobs in ducky places I would never relocate or in the town I would like to move from.

Lol I remember deleting half a production database 6 months into this job. Now a little under 2 years my boss lets me do whatever the fuck I want as long as my quality of work stays high and I complete a regular number of jira tasks a week

My boss from a job I recently quit, there was a slight problem and I wasn't sure how to approach it as I didn't want to bother the customers and she just went out there like "I want to bother them 😈"

Had to turn down a job offer today because of a BUNCH of red flags in their hiring process that hinted that their corporate culture was absolute trash. HR people are trash when they do whatever they want to with your time just because you’re in need. If they had been more ethical and professional, I’d have a job and they’d have a position filled. But, no, they had to play stupid games and win stupid prizes.

"Since this is a job where we are obligated to give part-time-options although we don't want to - totally unrelated, how is the day care of your child organized?"

someone offered me a job a few days ago, and he said that for that job I'll have to learn something and send him a small project just so he'll know I've learned it... so I did, and now he doesn't answer to me... I want to fucking sue him for wasting me so much time

I'm preparing to leave my current position.

Anyone have any recommendations on job search service?

I've been looking at indeed and I like their filter for remote and salary. Just want to make sure I'm not getting SEO bamboozled and miss out on a better job posting platform.

Received a contact for a new job today, 3 months notice if you want to leave, 1 if they make you redundant. Working hours are 9- 5:30, but evenings, weekends, holidays can be requested with no extra pay or time off. Recruiter recommended I sign it within an hour of receiving it, before I had time to read it, despite them taking over 5 days to get it to me. Suddenly my new job is soured.

Coding in Pharo Smalltalk makes me not want to code in anything else.

If i could find a Pharo job i would be pretty stoked.

Yeah I like Smalltalk that much.

This is not a happy rant...

Got a new well paying job. Moving up in life. But my wife is not in the same place... She had quite a few career struggles and just lost her current job... It wasn't even a job she went to school for, just whatever she could find...

Now she's getting quite depressed. Luckily she's not envious at me, but does keep saying how lucky she is to have me.

I really want to help her somehow, but this is really a thing I just don't know how... And it just looks like she's not handling it too well. Joking about suicide and crying about being useless... She also keeps saying that all she can do now is be a housewife. We did seek out help for her. But still... I really want to give her better support. I feel useless here.

Just recently got a new job.

On the old jobs we've always held connection via mail, slack, fb messenger groups and whatever.

But on this new IT job they have this really weird theory of that when you want something, you've to stand up, walk to the coworkers booth, and use this super odd "voice" communication.

Such a barbaric routine!

For me I was so amazed by the fact I could control computers it was pretty much a morning til night thing every day for a month (which happened to be my study leave for exams I didn't want to revise for but hey! I landed a job in dev so
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Those feels when you are waiting for a call or an email about a job you really really want and it's friday and you know it isn't gonna happen untill monday. Weekend suddenly feels too long.

A friend of mine has been searching for a job for 3 months, he finally got one, signed a contract and started 2 weeks ago. Now he got an offer from a company he applied to, completed an interview and was abandoned and they want to pay 3x more than the present job. This is bad luck. Bad, bad luck

Any full stack developers want a job at a super cool cyber security company let me know.

Had a recruiter contact me about a Javascript Developer position. This job was an on-site job 8 hours away and I have a wife who has interviews for a teaching job in the area we currently lived. So she asked if I knew Javascript well, and I said yes for Web Development. She says, "Well I'm sure it's the same for Javascript applications, right?" I said, "I've never created a Javascript application." She says, "I'm sure it will be fine, do you want to come in for an interview today?" That's when I hung up.

Job requirement for mee position opening in 11 days: CISSP...

I want this job. Anyone have tips on how to pass this exam in a week?

Looking for a new job and it's like that toy story meme.

Shitholes. Shitholes everywhere.

On top of that most have plans to restart offices next year and some want me to relocate and change cities. But now I don't want to go to office for more than two days a week.

Sigh'

I recently got a job as a web developer, they want me to add a feature in a particular website, i wasnt able to finish it so i decide to bring it at home , but i didnt even wrote a single line of code, i think im lacking motivation or just a deadline

if you want to be part of a startup, don't expect to do only what is in your job description.

To the SysAdmins and Linux-Engineers here,
How you got into your job?
I'm a Linux-Fanboy by heart and love tinkering and fiddling with systems, so I want to work in the field?
Please tell me, how you got into your job, and how it is to work in the field.

I start my first "real" job on Monday. I will be one of roughly three new junior full stack developers on a team of 15 senior devs. The company has a casual dress code and they allow headphones. What should I expect? I want to grow and I don't want to be a nuisance, I also want to earn a reputation and become respected when I do have something to say.

I do front end development.
Front end web developers are NOT web designers
I repeat I am NOT a web designer

I'm just salty that job listings always want web designers that also know front end development.

Apparently if you go to an interview desperately filled with hope, your eyes and body language will rat you out and people won't want to hire you. Ok, so they want to hire someone who's not desperate for a job? That's not easy to hide..

**Front End Job Interview**

Recruiter:We want people that have 7 years in react
Me: Well I have 5 considering react came out in 2014
Recruiter:So why did you come here ?
Me:I’m broke, I need a job and I have skills
Recruiter:Ok then..
Recruiter:For your code question,we want you to make a responsive web page with these frameworks and the source code.
*gives link to source code*
Me:Ok I can finish this in 3-5 days
Recruiter:we expect that you have 2 days to finish this
Me: Ok challenge accepted
*Finished website in 2 days*
Recruiter:This is a well made website, I’m impressed
Me:Thank you, it took time but I did it
Recruiter:You know what that means
Me: What?
Recruiter:Welcome to the club, you start next week
Me:LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO, WOOOHOO, I’ll make you proud with my skills!!!!.

Moral:If you have a little humor and skills, you WILL get the job

I started the job a week later and it was AMAZING

*Based on a true story*

I am now sorry for managers. Management is a miserable, horrible job where you have to deal with unending amounts of bullshit from all sides, and run a kindergarten where every other employee will give you their super special list of things that they don't like, or triggers them. No wonder all managers are terrible, who would ever want to do this shit job?

I will create a 1,000-job-application challenge.

The goal is to apply to 1,000 different companies and see if i can make a guineas world record of getting 1,000 rejections in a row.

Each job application i will record and document it on tiktok. I will do this freely to show everyone my achievements skills and knowledge of why i deserve the salary i want to have (which is btw less than $20,000 a year) -- so im not asking for abnormally high salary.

If you're a company spinning millions od dollars PER MONTH but it's hard for you to spend less than $20,000 PER YEAR to pay me for my hard work -- with absolutely no respect, FUCK OFF.

I want to do this in realistically 4 months.

1000 jobs / 4 months = 250 applications a month

Or 8.33 but lets round it to 9 job applications PER DAY that i will make.

I will record 9 fucking tiktoks PER DAY documenting this modern day bullshit where i struggle to get a job EVEN AFTER GRADUATING WITH A FUCKING CS DEGREE.

I want to show the world how college was really a scam and document the proof how no one gives a shit about degree and everyone treats me as if i have no degree.

I will also shitpost here on the status throughout this journey.

me: When will you change this job ?
co-worker: Not now. Want to stay here for a while.

Just seen stackoverflow developer survey results

I really want to try freelancing but I’m terribly terrified at the thought of working with a client and ruining the whole thing or not doing a good job 🙍🏻‍♀️

I want to switch over to Linux again, Windows just annoys me a lot lately. Thing is, I don't know what distro I wanna use yet.
I want one that is:
0. Security focused, so encryption, VPN and so on. (I know software could do the job, but would be nice if it comes with the OS)
1. Not hard to configure, but I should be able to configure it more when I want to.
2. Not too ulgy looking.

I have a little bit of experience with Linux, but I'm not even close a professional.
Looking forward to your suggestions!

So new job and my superior is someone that keeps on writing really bad code. Whenever I point it out to him I can tell he's annoyed. Dont want to get fired after a week of working here :(

I have a job(not really paid enough), and tomorrow I have a job interview for a front end developer at a company thats around 1 hour drive where I live, so the company is in the different city. Main reason I want a job(a good paying one) is because I want start living there.. start my own life. Everything would be fine but Im 22 years old and 3rd year in college. College is in my hometown where I live now. So every week I would have to catch a bus to my hometown to go to college, and then back.. My parents don't really aprove of this, and I will get no help from them if I move away.. Yeah, waited for this interview tomorrow for a month, and had many arguments and fights, and even one "panic attack". Pretty stressfull time for me now.. Can't wait to just see what will come out of this..

If I get the job, it will be a huge step for me, and probably lose some people who black mail me to not move away.. either I succeed or I fail..

Did an awesome interview for a fullstack job at a cool conpany. Hr, lead front and lead back seemed on a werge of kissing me. Told me they want to do a one-day trial and to wait for further instructions... Have been waiting for two weeks now :(

The position in the company i started working for not long ago was for a dotnet developer. But it ended being heavy sharepoint focused and mostly front end javascript (that i am not very good at, that's why i wanted backend), doing stuff like hide this button, css that input etc. Really confused now and wondering how much il learn from this job considering its my first job as a developer and that i really want to do mvc with dotnet core. 😐😐 Does this have any value or i shouldn't be so picky for a first developer job?

So, now I want to get a React job...