Virtual Assistants these days xD

tl;dr I need ideas on how to warn the next dev(s) that the company is a dumpster fire.

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For the past week (actual time: three days) I've been writing documentation for work, since there isn't any. It's been okay, I guess. Certainly more interesting than anything else I've done at work in months.

I'm up to 10k words / 67kb of markdown, and I think I'm done. I could easily write another 30k words on everything, but I just can't care enough.

However, what I do care about is warning the next dev(s) about how terrible the place is to work, so I want to add little references or hints or other such things to my writing. To complicate that, there's a contractor dev who said he will edit the document to strip out my commentary and make it "friendly" for the next person. (I can kind of see why: I've been quite honest about the situation of everything, and it's pretty dire. If they read it as-is, they might just walk out the door. I certainly would have.) I'm also going to commit it to the repo, and afaik he doesn't have push rights, so he can't force-push and remove it. (and a force-push by someone else, adding my documentation immediately after I leave... that would be pretty fishy, too.)

Anyway, at someone's suggestion, I added a "three envelopes" reference in the access phrase generator section. I also wrote "Promises made outside of ES6 will not resolve" -- in the warning section of a document almost entirely about Rails. (because the boss has broken every single promise he has ever made me.)

What other hints and subtle warnings could I add?

(And hurry: tomorrow is my last day! ;3)

I shouldn't be surprised... but I'm surprised that there is support for emojis in ubuntu

If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

People are worried that AI will replace them in their jobs.

But guys.

We are still using php.

I think we are safe for the next 200 years.

>you love Google
>you're writing a CV
>you have big ego
>your CV looks like that one
>you're probably me

Totally agree...

Well I was modelling a dragon for a game and the scales were really hard to do.

What's with some devs around here posting their stories of doing shitty things like they're heroes or something?

Oh, you hacked your former boss and destroyed data because he did something you didn't like?

Oh, you tried to work smart, but then essentially defrauded your client by claiming you had to rewrite the app for another platform?

How many other ones?

It's shit like this that make it harder for the honest developers out there to get a client to actually trust us, and that trust is so important for both sides of a contract.

How can a client who was burned by one of these douche bags trust when another developer actually quotes a rewrite of a code base that is fundamentally flawed?

How about a business partner of the one who was hacked. What if they're as honest as can be, but heard the horror story, and now refuses to entrust anything to their developers?

It makes all our jobs harder and makes us all look like shit.

And here you are, posting it up for those precious ++'s.

Fuck you. Either shape up or do us and your clients a favor and choke on your keyboard.

"Chrome 66 arrives with autoplaying content blocked by default"

Fuck yeah! Fuck you CNET, Mashables and all the other retard companies that did that.

Debugging Brain

"Work for me", client said, "I won't pay you but you will get some reputations for working with us" he added.

"Sorry, my body can't digest reputation", I replied.

Thanks @dfox for adding the double tap to upvote feature, I mean, bug. You're a saint

New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"

Then he walked away :^)

Me: JavaScript, you are crazy...

JavaScript: honey, you can not live without me... If you survive without me, leave now!!!

(That was three years ago)
and I am still writing #JavaScript applications

A call I had today, girl registered a domain and put it in her hosting package:

Girl: so where can I view my email accounts?
Me: *explains*
G: Oh, I wanted an email address with info or my first name as part before the @ but I only see an account with the name of my hosting account username?
Me: that's right, that's a default one you get :)
G: oh 😞 I....I.... I've always have wanted a domain name with my own email addresses linked to it and I thought I could do that this way 😩
(I could hear the disappointment and that she seemed very sad suddenly)
Me: do you see that "create new email account" button up there?
G: Yes..... Wait.... Can I make like multiple email addresses myself?!
Me: as many as you can manage inside your hosting account!
G: 😵😍 OH MY GOD
Me: Haha, enjoy creating some!
G: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE
*Click*

It's those moments which can make your fucking day!

This idea is so amazing!!!

put that as status in a big ass Facebook group
and this is the result :)

I've tried to double tap a Stack Overflow post...

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