AboutJunior developer with a big imagination. Part-time musician, game developer, artist, sportsman and couch potato.
SkillsC#, Java, js, Anything MVC related and Swift.
LocationSouth Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town, Claremont
Joined devRant on 7/24/2018
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Mid-Friday: Boss: Start programming this application.
Me: Cool, how will it be setup? what lang-
Boss: Everything's already setup, just start programming in PHP. Check in and make sure it's done by Wednesday morning before 9.
Me: Cool, it's done. Had some trouble with connecting our database to the clients, some permissions were conflicting.
Boss: Now I need you to pull it, publish it to our other azure portal, change it to ASP.NET Core 2.1 MVC and install it to teams. Also change the database to MySQL.
Me: I thought everything was already setup.
Boss: things change.
*Pulls an all nighter*
Me: Something isn't right...
Me*hasn't slept yet*: It's done.
Boss: Why do you look so tired?
Me: I was working last night
Boss: Well you shouldn't do that.
Me: The deadline is today. only way it was going to get done before 9 was to do it last night.
Boss: Doesn't matter.
Boss: it was easy, no hassle, it's up and running.
Me: no hassle?8
Back on dev rant, been a while. Been two Jobs later...
Was extremely underpaid at the previous job.
Started a new venture two weeks ago. Long story short this company outsources their developers to other companies. The job I applied for is 'Junior Developer'. JUNIOR DEVELOPER!!!
Yet I'm being outsourced as an 'Intermediate Developer'.
Honestly I like the challenge, but businesses need to treat their employee's properly and not manipulate their young developers so they can get more money for cheap.
Really now, I've been dealing with this everywhere I go and it pisses me off.
On top of that I have no Senior Developer. I am the only developer. The other six, including my boss, are DBA's and don't know C#1
Team Leader(TL): So you finished the sql scripts and stored procedures?
TL: And properly formatting the front end to look exactly how we want it.
TL: Well we waiting on feedback from the boss so i guess you'll have to do the documentation.
Me: I hate documentation, please give me anything else
TL: It's not a lot dude, you can do it.
Me: Didn't one of the intern's and the database admin do it already?
TL: Yes. but you can take both of them and make one complete one.
Me: *You just don't want me to work on my own things you FUCKER* Fine, but don't expect it to be done this week.
TL: It's Tuesday, why not.
Me: Because i hate dcumentation
I FUCKEN. hate! documentation.4
Person: CooCooK4Choo, i see you're doing more than one form of development. What do you want to do as a developer?
Me: I want to do everything i can possibly do.
Person: You have to pick a stream to go into, you can't do Web Applications, 3D Development, Unity Game Development, Swift and Java.
Why can't i do everything? As a junior developer i feel that doing everything keeps you prepared for those unwanted situations. Besides Its not like i'll be doing Web Base Applications all my life. if i do, i'll probably kill myself before 30(currently 21).3
Last Week Friday:
PM: We'll be taking you off the one project on to another, we'll send the details later.
PM: Ok cool, so you'll be looking at a script that one of our Pillar heads has scripted. You need to make sure it works and that it can run on the server.
Me: *I always thought this guy was useless now i get to see what he can do* Cool, just send the documentation and i'll take a look at it over the weekend. Just tell me when you've sent it.
Project Head: I'll inform you when i send the files and how to run them.
Me: *I know how to set up a database locally, i'm not an idiot* Cool.
Whole Weekend I don't get a single message.
Project Head(PH): Have you taken a look at it yet?
Me: Taken a look at what?
PH: The Database and the Script
Me: i didn't get any message over the weekend.
PH: I sent it yesterday, it should be in your inbox.
Me: There's Nothing. Sending anything on a Sunday is expecting me not to see it, especially at 10pm. Besides i can't retrieve any of the files in the attachment(Outlook tripping), rather send it in a zip file or upload it to onedrive.
PH sends the link. I get the files, set up the DB, glance at the script.
Me: This is actually interesting.
PH: You know what it does?
Me: My SQL knowledge is below average but i can read and understand it pretty well. So your dynamically copying the database from the server to the warehouse, cool.
It's not going to work though.
PH: Check first.
I check it
Me: Doesn't work, but it sort of works.
PH: What do you mean?
Me: Some tables are populated but some aren't,, how and there's a shit tone of errors.
PH: So i does copy the data over.
Me: Some of the data.
PH: test it on the Server
Me: Not a good idea.
PH: Just try it.
PM: In the mean time i'll send you some documentation i need you to review and edit.
Me: *Idiots* Cool.
Me: Have you checked it on the server yet?
PH: Not yet, busy.
Me: Where's the documentation again?
PM: I'll send it it a moment.
Me: In the mean time i'll write some script to fix that script that's definitely not going to work.
Boss: I heard you done with the script
Me: It's not done, but we'll be testing it on the server later.
Boss: Then why are you running it on the server?
Me: Ask the PH and PM.
Boss: What are you doing now?
Me: Well i'm supposed to do documentation *looks at PM* but i haven't recieved any yet, so I've been writing a script to fix the copy script.
PH: Ok we'll test when the boss leaves, after all the meetings.
PM: here's the documentation.
I start on documentation.
PH: It didn't work.
Me: I know.
PH: Fix it.
PM: What you doing?
Me: Fixing the script,
PM: Do the documentation first
End of the day:
PH: Why you doing the documentation? The script has highest priority.
Me: Ask the PM.
Boss: can we talk.
Boss: I though you said the script was done?
Me: i said it sort of works, just doesn't do the job 100%.
Boss: Monday i was told it's done.
Me: i only looked through it Monday to understand it, i done nothing before Tuesday. though i have been trying to create a script to fix it.
Boss: Your working really slow hey.
Me: *It's been a week, and stupid people are in charge* I was doing what i was told.
Boss: Cool.(His Upset)
Stupid FUCKEN people, make stupid FUCKEN decisions. But Hey, the boss only see's the final result. I am a human being, even i make mistakes. But there's a huge gap between stupidity and a mistake.
Scene: Senior developer left, 3 Junior devs(including me) are now loaded with work.
*Intern asks for help*
JuniorDev1: I have 2 projects of which i'm the lead on one. I don't have time to help anyone.
JD2: 2 projects as well dude, speak to me after work, much easier then.
Me: 3 projects, lead on two. Sure how can i help you.
Took less than 5 minutes to help the intern.
2 hours Later. Check in meeting
PM: Our Junior devs are really busy and can't always help you guys. JD1 are you overloaded?
JD1: Yes, is their anyway we can split the one projects work?
PM: Sure. JD2 are you overloaded?
JD2: Not really, but i agree on splitting the projects between the three of us.
Me: *Are these fuckers serious? i have three projects, they have 2 and they wanna give me more work because they are overloaded and don't know how to manage their time*
PM: Ok cool, i'll update it. CooCooK4Choo, i see you building your own game during lunch time. You definitely not overloaded.
Me: Actually! what i do in my lunch time is my own personal work because it's the only time i have to work on personal projects. I actually do feel overloaded with the 3 projects and now more work from them, could we split the work load evenly please.
PM: I thought you said you could handle the 3 projects?
Me: I can, i have been, but with more work coming my way i don't think i'll be able to.
PM: Unfortunately i need the other Junior Devs on demand, so i won't be able to split the work load evenly.
Me: On demand for what? Why not let the interns help?
PM: In case i need their help. The interns are helping the other Junior Devs with things that don't require too much out of them.
Me: *This FUCKEN BITCH!* Cool, I'm done with the 1 project, expect the business rules at the end of the day. I'll see if i can get the other 2 near done by Friday so i can have time to look over the code of the new projects that i'll be splitting with the other Junior Devs.
PM: Cool, glad we all on the same page.
You know what? FUCK this stupid shit of favoring people in the FUCKEN work place.
This is my first full-time job ever, I've been here for a full year today and i can honestly say these people are just giant children with money. I should know, out of work i am a giant child, but from 8:00 - 16:00 i'm a FUCKEN adult.18
Interns have degree's in 'Computer Science'.
I do not, Just a microsoft crash course on C# and SQL.
They are 3 - 4 years older than i am, yet they don't know how to use CSS.
I wonder what they learnt in that 4 years?17
I have nothing to rant about today :D.
I'm too happy for anything to bring me down,
PM said i only have to demo tomorrow morning.
A nice 2 hours before work ends,
I'm hyped up on redbull and wifi is'nt bad today.
My sub-conscience whispering in the back of my mind: "Don't believe it. Don't give in to the happiness. Something will happen. You setting yourself up. Quit while you're ahead."2
Not Dev Related...
Long story short, last month my farther asks me to move back in with him, gets married and leaves for his honeymoon on Sunday.
I moved out months ago because he said all I do is sit on the computer all day.
They leave Sunday and I decide to break(BBQ) every night, one night my friends came over.
They get back and say I left the place a mess.
- I left everything the way it was before they left
- I never dirtied any dishes, I drank my alcohol that I hadn't drank since I left.
- I cleaned up after myself, if I ever did make a mess.
- I even made sure the dog was fed, his shit was picked up, he went for walks.
- I filled the snack cupboard with more snacks
- Bought cool drinks and juice, even bought my own food that I cooked.
- Bought my own wood that I used, still some left over
And I get complaints that
- the place was dirty when they got there.
- the dog shat in the bathroom, his piss was on the floor
- The dishes weren't done
- All I do is mess the place
- I don't buy anything for the house
- I drink up all the coo ldrink and juice
- I don't buy my own food
The FUCK is wrong with this people? This SHIT is the reason I moved out in the first place.
Also my life is on my computer, hence why I'm on it all the time.1
Me: *Puts on headphones*
5 minutes later
College: Hey man you busy?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: I am, but what's the issue?
Help him, Put headphones back on.
5 minutes later
Intern: I need help
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Fine, I've got time
Help her, Put headphones back on.
Beginning to feel a little pissed.
5 minutes later
PM: Can i get your help quickly?
Me: Can i finish this quickly?
PM: It won't take long
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Help her out, put headphones back on.
An hour later
Team Leader: Are you done yet?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Team Leader: How can you not be done yet?
Me: Ask everyone around you?
He bitches for about 30 minutes.
I decide not to put my headphones on and just float in the river of how pissed i am.
4 Fucken hours goes by, nobody wants jack shit.
Me: *Puts headphones on*
5 minutes later
Team Leader: Hey man can you help me out?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Sure Fine.
FUCK!!! EVERY! FUCKEN TIME!!!30
Me this morning(On Way to Work): Not going to let anything upset me today, i'm going to work, succeed and then have lunch with fam :)
Me In office(Still morning): This song is awesome(song i don't really like)
PM: Meeting Now!
PM In Meeting: What do you have to do?
Me: Some CSS shit. Gotta make things look pretty after they work so beautifully.
PM: OK but be more specific
Me: Layering issues with the popups, the alert input needs some tweaking.
PM: What are you busy with now.
Me: Layering issues.
PM: *As she writes on board* So that's alert, popups, layering issues, input and CSS.
Me: No it's just two tasks.
PM: You've got a lot of work, get started.
Team Leader: It's only two tasks, it's not five.
PM: Oh i thought they were all different.
Me: *Breathe in... Breathe Out*
Me (around 12ish): Fuck! This Dense. Bitch!!
PM 1ish: Meeting Now!
PM: How far are you?
Me: Well i'm about done, just gotta test the changes, if it fails debug it a little and done.
PM: *Explains some shit about what i have to do*
Me: *Knowing what she's already going to say* *Slirps coffee really loud*
PM: You listening?
Me: oh yeah sure.
PM: *Gets pissed says it's because she didn't have coffee yet*
Me: *Slirps coffee while making eye contact*
Me inside: Mwahahahahahahahahaaa!!!1
So Last year December my cousin see's me making a basic 3D game in Unity and says he wants to do programming.
Me: No, you don't want that. Become a doctor like your parents want you two.
Him: I'll do it.
Me: Ok. If you want to suffer, i'll teach you some basic C#
Me: *Shows him basic C# code in visual studio*
Him: *Not paying attention* Cool. When can i make games?
Me: That's not how this works. Where do you intend to study?
Me: You better get your ass infront of that fucken computer, google and youtube the shit out of you, matter of fact i'll get you a shit bucket so you don't have to get up.
Him: I don't have to go so hard now, i'm only 16.
Me: *Facepalm* That's why you have to do this now.
...7 months later...
Me: Show me how you make a basic calculator application.
Him: I don't know how to do that, you didn't show me.
Him: Whats so funny?
Me: You're screwed *still laughing*
Don't get me wrong. He's a smart kid. Just needs to fucken do something if he wants his goal.13
Background: Got a macbook, A external HDD(2TB) of which +- 1TB was used.
Yesterday i moved all my personal projects from my work laptop to my external, to move to my macbook.
One of my clients(Freelancing) calls asking me to install new hardware, install software and fix OS(Windows 8.1).
I leave work and go directly to said client and he hands over his Lenovo S20 Touch(No CD/DVD Drive).
I install windows 10 and other software from my flash(Already on there)
Good, Everything is ready to go. I go home and finally get to sit down with my baby(MacBook)
Me: *Plugs in external*
Opens Finder, can't find flashdrive
Client: Hey is everything ok with the laptop, no viruses no nothing. Because everytime i insert a flashdrive it gets a virus and i have to buy a new one.
Me: I installed windows 10 on it, it should be fine with defender now.
Heart: *shattered* YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE FUCKER!!
i never knew people like this still exist1
Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.
Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.
2 months go by, project is completed.
Boss: I've got another project for you
1 month later...
PM: We're moving you back to project 1
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.
2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.
Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.3
The happiness of finishing a project that put so much stress into you, best feeling ever.
10 minutes later...
Others in office: Oh you're done. Could you help us with
Others: It's not a lo
At least give me time to catch a power nap.2
Me to 2 other Dev's: Guys can i get your help? This line isn't working.
Dev's check the code. Tries there own things.
Dev's: Sorry man, we tried.
Project Manager with no knowledge of programming looks at code.
Project Manager: How are you struggling for so long?(Bitches for like 5 minutes)
Me: *gives her Penance stare*
* Starts laughing loud at the thought of her
I feel better now1
How i got to devRant.
Boss comes in, sees me super chill.
Other people enter, boss sees me not chill.
Sends me an email and says "Enjoy".
I love this guy :')
Ps. Hope he doesn't expect work today8
Outside, 16 Degrees Celsius.
First one in the office, nice :)
Back in office
AC on blast at 12 FUCKEN DEGREES >:(3