Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.

When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?

Me: sure, of course.

Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.

Me: ... wait, then it's not done.

Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.

Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.

Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.

Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.

Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.

Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.

Dev: I don't.

Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.

Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.

Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.

Dev: but it is done.

Me: no it's not.

Dev: it is, look.

Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.

Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?

Me: are you going to make more changes?

Dev: yes.

Me: then no.

Dev: why?

Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.

Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.

Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....

Dev: but I am happ.....

Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.

Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.

Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.

Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.

Me: there you go.

Client: "Hi, there's a problem with this link"
Me: "How odd, I'll take a look right away"

-- 19 minutes later --

Client: "Has this been fixed?"
Me: "I'm working on it currently"
Client: "OK please let us know when it's done"
Me: "I will do"

-- 2 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, is this done?"
Me: "I've just told you I will let you know as soon as it's done"

-- 5 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, sorry to hassle, but is this done yet?"
Me: *starts twitching*
Me: "I am working on it and I will let you know when it's done"
Client: "OK, well don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter"
Me: *explodes*

Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."

Me: "No."

Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.

How did this date format ever get past code review.

One of our customer thought it would be too unsecure to send us his AWS credentials by email. So he printed it and sent it as registered mail to us. The password we received was "hallo123".

Hey!! Half of those ++ belong to me!!!!!

This is some nevt level phishing. I wrote the guy who was listed in WHOIS an E-Mail, correcting his mistakes.

There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

!rant #happynews

It's a boy :D

1/7/17 - d/m/yy

Fancy dates 😎

Manager: Hey, how are things with everything thats been going on? Hows the mood?

Me:

Me (5 days ago): A major, life-threatening hurricane is coming. I need to prepare. I know you have a need to launch so I will do my best to finish your project.

Client: Ok, stay safe.

Client (today): I know you're not done. You're late actually. To provoke you into further action, we went ahead and announced the launch and people will begin using the website now.

Me (at the store buying food for the next two week): What in the actual ... Here is your code. Finish it yourself. May God have mercy on your cold, dark soul.

Every hobby project I work on.

Was today national 'lets not use our brains and common sense' day or something?!?

People coming with the most fucking RETARDED questions.

'ive spend hours to try and figure out why my mail isnt sending,?!'

MAYBE TRY SPELLING YOUR FUCKING OWN EMAIL ADDRESS CORRECTLY?!?!?!

Tons more of the kind of shit that you can solve yourself within three FUCKING seconds.

I'm so fucking done with today.

😍 my dear code

Guess who just got his fucking degree :D

when your boss tells you they hired you just to save money, and the job should actually be done by a team of intermediate/senior devs, but they thought one junior dev could do it in the same time span

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

A random number generator

@dfox, feature request:
When i click back button:
If(tab !=TAB_RANTS)
goToRantsTab();
else
Finish();

tl;dr I need ideas on how to warn the next dev(s) that the company is a dumpster fire.

------

For the past week (actual time: three days) I've been writing documentation for work, since there isn't any. It's been okay, I guess. Certainly more interesting than anything else I've done at work in months.

I'm up to 10k words / 67kb of markdown, and I think I'm done. I could easily write another 30k words on everything, but I just can't care enough.

However, what I do care about is warning the next dev(s) about how terrible the place is to work, so I want to add little references or hints or other such things to my writing. To complicate that, there's a contractor dev who said he will edit the document to strip out my commentary and make it "friendly" for the next person. (I can kind of see why: I've been quite honest about the situation of everything, and it's pretty dire. If they read it as-is, they might just walk out the door. I certainly would have.) I'm also going to commit it to the repo, and afaik he doesn't have push rights, so he can't force-push and remove it. (and a force-push by someone else, adding my documentation immediately after I leave... that would be pretty fishy, too.)

Anyway, at someone's suggestion, I added a "three envelopes" reference in the access phrase generator section. I also wrote "Promises made outside of ES6 will not resolve" -- in the warning section of a document almost entirely about Rails. (because the boss has broken every single promise he has ever made me.)

What other hints and subtle warnings could I add?

(And hurry: tomorrow is my last day! ;3)

My former job. Imagine hiring consultants, hiring the best dev team, then bypassing the consultants and then breathing down our necks how to do our jobs:

"We need six day workweeks because more days means more work done."

"We need to enforce a 9 AM schedule for all developers so that the other departments won't feel jealous of the devs."

"We need this feature done stat, alongside the existing feature that you guys are doing for that sprint. No if I had to tell the product owner and the Scrum master about it, we would get nothing done."

"Why is the QA uncovering a lot of bugs! Guys this is shameful! You're costing the reputation of this company!"

"You need to deploy that on or before Friday? Do you understand? No it can't be done in two weeks. I already promised my investors that it will be done Friday."

"See you guys later in Slack while we deploy X to server at Monday midnight. And yall still come over at 9 AM."

"You need to implement this feature we thought of while we were drunk last night. No I hadn't told the product owner yet."

"The back-end dev isn't supposed to have access to the production server." Then weeks later scolds the back-end dev, "What is wrong with you? Why do you have no clue what's going on in the production server!"

"Okay let's use this expensive API over the cheaper alternatives." Then weeks later "What have you guys done! Why do we have a ten grand bill from the API guys!"

*orders the QA around, becomes their errand boy, etc then lets go of the QA* "You're doing a poor job being QA."

I can cite moooore examples.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."

Weeks of programming can save you hours of planning!

I graduated today!

Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."

So we put it on production.

After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."

"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."

"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"

Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fuck you to all the bosses who don't give a Fuck about their employees.

Summary of my last hour (it's sunday night):
-Procrastinated 1 hour
-finally stopped procrastinating
-opended google docs
…

Wait, what?!?!??

I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.

Scenario 1:

Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.

Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.

Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.

Scenario 2:

Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.

*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*

Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

Question: How programmers sleep ?

Answer:

Hello my friend, together we will become billionaires!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fellow developers, take notes:

Thats one way to start a day!!!!!!

6:38pm, Tasklist for today:

- Debug website #1 - DONE
- Debug website #2 - DONE
- Launch a new website on a new domain - DONE
- Install SSL - DONE
- Test e-commerce section - DONE
- activate HTTP/2 for that domian (first time, once it worked it felt rewarding) - DONE
- set up 30 emails on said domain, send out emails on how to reset their passwords - DONE
- play Half life for 40 minutes - DONE
- Download GOT S06E09 - DONE
- cater all emails from clients... - DONE

proudest and most productive day of my life, really

How the fuck do one even accomplish this:?

Laziest dev thing I've ever done.

An annoying "I-do-nothing-but-delegate-and-make-fuzz" manager proposed to create a new application with redundant functionalities, that would take me at least half a year to build.
Practically, the app would never be used and I didn't want to put effort in that monstrosity.

So, naturally I...

Pressure the right people, schedule numerous meetings, become the project manager for all internal applications and... I cancel the project.

Enduring a six day workweek. The corporate secretary's reason: "because more days means more work done."

Our back-end dev has ran out of patience. We were promised to return to the five-day workweek when we finish a particular project. Project was done and we still kept our six day workweek. We got the same thing once we get a Scrum master and a QA engineer. We hired excellent consultants to fill the role. Still the same.

Our junior iOs dev complains that boss "has taken my life away." Considering that all of us have 2-5 hours total commute time per day there's really not much left of our personal lives to fulfill apart from the bare minimum of sleep. I could no longer attend Mass except for that one time I forced myself and the back-end dev to, because we had to rest. My tech lead and our back-end dev gets pestered with calls from our boss during Sundays over issues that aren't actually showstoppers.

Tech lead simply does not work on Saturdays to tend to his family, and sometimes I do too when I want to visit my tech community, but the rest of the team can't pull that as often as he does.

We are counting on the expertise of the consultants to uphold Agile software development processes, but sadly they get talked over by the boss who insists that his whims be priority.

When the back end dev points this out we get called entitled and having no sense of commitment, and we're told to suck it up.

I don't complain loudly anymore and I do my work, churn out as many features as I could and squash as many bugs as I could, but then I get the constant feeling that the management is just using the bugs and features as some form of emotional blackmail that we're not efficient enough to deserve a five-day workweek.

The law in my country says companies are legally allowed to make their employees work 48-hour workweeks but the managers I spoke to recommend against it; that 40-day workweek exists for a reason.

Everyone's going late to work nowadays. Even when the management sent the entire team an angry memo about our collective tardiness, everyone just doesn't care anymore.

It always feels like a bad idea when the customer suggests doing a deployment on Friday. 😧

When the coffee you had in the morning kicks in all at once.

Now my heartbeat is faster than my keystrokes

Testing in production?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

FUCKING USELESS 'FRIENDS' WHO ONLY CALL/MESSAGE FOR HELPING THEM TO CHOOSE TO SELECT APPROPRIATE LAPTOP FOR THEIR 'PURPOSE'. IM FUCKING DONE. THIS IS the THIRD TIME IN THIS WEEK. STOP GETTING ON MY GODDAMN NERVES. VISIT AMAZON FOR FUCKS SAKE, APPLY FILTERS AND BOOYAH MAGIC. YOU GET A FUCKING VARIETY OF LAPTOPS TO CHOOSE FROM. BUT NO YOU WON'T, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE AMAZON.

When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?

Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.

Im sorry, i had to.....

Here's a genuine rant for you. Probably the only one I've ever made and ever will..

It's a bit depressing and covers a few topics so just read it, it's important.

*deep inhale*
So, with the help of my friend and my Nana, I was getting VR set up. (Oh, what joy.)

Now, I love everything about VR. But the thing is, I've had this damned headset since may (Dell MMR) and I haven't been able to use it. The reason for that is, something always came up that I needed to buy and this became a huge deal.

But let's start from the beginning.. I'm curentally fighting depression. I have been for months. My only income is what my Nana gives me ($150/mo) and what my friend ocasinally gives me.

Anyways, the first issue was that I couldn't afford the headset. This was find, as my friend would get it for me, and I would pay them back the following month. But, then, once I got the headset that's when the real problems started. First it was that I needed bluetooth, so I bought an adapter. Then I realized my entire CPU was incompatable, so I had to get a new tower and I went ahead and got a new GPU as well. I also got a charging kit for my headset (This ended up making me owe my Nana money). Then after all of that was settled, I learned that the evauation software lied, and my computer doesn't have USB 3, so I need that too but low and behold; both of my graphics cards cover my second pcie slot. So my options are to either try and rig up something, or to buy a cpu and psu for my third AMD PC which I had forgotten about during this whole ordeal..

This was soposed to help me with my depression and stress. Now I don't even want to get out of bed.

With all that said, I might be getting on SSI soon (I'm sure some of you are familar with that, and no I don't want to talk about it) and when that happens I might just leave behind tech (well, my PC and games) and all the stress and pain it's caused me over my life so this was all for nothing.

Honestly.. I'm just done with everything. To all the new faces around here; Hello! How are ya? To everyone else; You know me. I've been around for a while, though I'm not popular because I lurked and commented with Alice. You all probably noticed that I left a while back, and it was because I was trying to get out of tech. My reason for tech was that I was searching for something. I was always looking for the next game to sate me, or fill this gap in my life. I became a programmer because it gave me control were I lacked it otherwise. I made friends online because my anxiety prevented me from doing so in the real world.

But to what end? What have I acomplished? My twenty second birthday is next month. I've no job, I move from family member to famly member because I'm so fixated on becoming someone else to make something of myself.

I have my own ideals, but it seems that I push them aside to try (and fail to) impress others.

It's time for change. Of course, I can't do anything without money, so I'll have to wait for my SSI which I will get news on in August.

I hope this message came through how I meant it to. There is so much I want to say, but I've no words to say them. And btw, the VR thing is just one of manny issue that i've delt with (but certanly the most expensive)

Alice, Zennoe (Alexis, whom is not on devrant); I'm not giving up tech entirely. don't expect to suddenly not hear from me. I'm mostly just giving up my computer and games. More casually so for now, and them more seriously once I get on SSI. I'll still message you every/other day like I have been. <3

im sorry??? what??

Is it my lack of sleep or lack QA "experts" at google?

Bug:
So there is feature to long press on a picture to save it BUT when dialog comes up - its impossible to dismiss it, not that its impossible to close it, but wherever you click - it saves pic(even if on non button)

(Adding a picture for u guys to test it out)
(Sry for repost, i cant find anything else on my phone)

Saw this at my local coffee shop. Whatever will they come up with next.

I've been lurking for a while but I had it up to here with these goddamned "js sucks" posts.

I'm not gonna deny js has severe design problems,
or that chromium is a motherfucking vampire
or that it's a goddamn pain in the ass to understand how to babel webpack + plugins correctly

that is all true.

the problem is that it's just a lazy damn circlejerk at this point where no learning is gained, with no outlook on any possible solution of these problems, let alone ANY type of actual collaboration to help the situation.

sometimes people don't even care to specify what is specifically wrong with js. It's just "js sucks" and that's it, farm ++.

slack is a ram hog, yes, yes, we know... WE KNOW.
every 5 days someone has to remind that!

is there any solution? why is it a ram hog? is electron the problem, or is the slack source code doing weird shit?
are there any lightweight alternatives to electron?

That's actual good conversation, but no, apparently it's impossible to drop the snarky tone for 2 seconds.

I think it's fine to point out defficiencies in applications, but it's not ok to shitpost on and on.

I would very ok with someone shitcomplaining about js is if they were doing something about it.

I'm still ok with people letting of some steam, I'm fine with people expressing frustration from direct work experience with js. I'm not ok with people and their ignorance and snarky comments and non helpfulness while comfortably laughing from their own camp of totally unrelated technologies.

Hearing sysadmins or people that code exclusively in c shit on js makes me feel my insides twirl.

Imagine I didn't do shit for linux, but I went around forums pointing out the defficiencies, like the lack of standards, and saying that mac is way better.

Or I if yapped on and on about openvpn and having an obscure as fuck api, meanwhile not doing a single fucking thing about it, or not even using it in a day to day basis.

do you hate slack's ram usage? me too and js isn't going anywhere in the next 5 years, so either do something or provide smart conversation, diagnosis of the problem or possible alternstives/solutions, otherwise stfu

I almost did it!!!! Only one ++ is left till ill reach max value of byte!!!!!!!!

Mom, grab the camera!!!!!

I wanna kill myself....
Edit: not anymore, ive noticed that i got 500++ :)

Success to me is silence. No phone calls, no emails, no "why doesn't this work?"

It's when you made something that works in the background, almost invisibly, that others could take for granted but that they also don't bother you with because it is still working as designed.

//An okay long rant..

So i work at this small robotics start-up company I Copenhagen.
The first dumb part is that it only uses interns as staff, because then they don't need to pay people. (I am working part time, for free. Just to get experience (I am only 20 btw))

So.. I often get into an argument with my boss, since she is a designer with a "passion" for robotics (she has no clue how to do anything related to the work) But I often try to explain to her some current limitations in the staff, and what is possible for us to do, but she will never listen. She really wants us to design our own microcontroller board PCB, and she want it at the size of a coin. However when I tell her that none of the, non paid works has the experience or education to design such a thing, she never wants to acknowledge it, and it really pisses me off.
And her dad, who is the top boss, only care for esthetics when he is making a work environment, which is dumb when we just need to develop stuff...

Sorry if the rant was too long but had to get it out..

Customer complained that the site was not rendering as it's supposed to. After spending hours trying to fix the bug I saw that the customer had zoomed the browser which obviously broke the rendering.

Okay, this is official. I quited collage!!!!

Ffs, who codes like that?!?!?! You guys have no idea how many of these have I shortened by now....

Best investment ever:

WINDOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out

Microsoft just sent me an email to check out VS 2017. so i was like "sure, lets see check it out..." i clicked download button... ye.... FUCK U MICROSOFT!!!!

Worst experience:
Since current job is my first one - I only had experience with only one manager, and he is quite cool guy, never screams, isn't really demanding, polite BUT according to other devs which posted here - it's quite a rare case so I guess I'm quite lucky 🙂

We have a portal which uses Windows Integrated auth that lists out all off our internal sites.

Navigating to any of these produces a URL like the one in the attached image.

Turns out all our internal application use a base64 encoded email address in the query string as the means of authentication.

So, anyone can authenticate themselves as another employee within the company by simply changing the query param value to said employees email address.

Fucking nuts.

When you work on a side project intoxicated and look at the dev comments the next day.

Moment when you discard all git changes instead of one..... Fuck my life 😞

Finally i can watch some high quality porn!!!!

(Im too lazy to edit out ip)

Six people(4 engineers, 2 managers) in the room, it took fucking 45 mins for daily scrum/standup meeting. Seriously, why do you want talk about every line you wrote?
I excused myself after 35 mins.

Bug?!?!?! @dfox

Well, I was changing my desk location, thus I needed to reroute Ethernet cable and after taking off part of door frame I noticed that last time I fucking "NAILED IT!!!" tho it still works 😂

IT WAS FUCKING DOWNLOADING FOR 19 HOURS!!! AND IT IS STILL NOT FUCKING DONE!!!

ARE THEY RUNNING THEIR SERVERS ON POTATOS OR SOMETHING?
(my net is definetely not a bottle neck)

Okay, let's try something different:
Your guys job is to confess MY sins for me

Feel free to be as offensive as you want 😉

While configuring wifi acess for a new joinee who claimed 5 years of experience.

Me: please share your mac id over chat.

Him: 192.168.0.32

Me: @

VOTE

Eclipse vs intellij idea

Why?
I had an argument with a stupid mate that is disgrace to all coders.....time to prove him wrong once again!!

When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...

Well done, T-Mobile!

They have an iOS app to handle contract stuff. That app integrates their shop system via an internal browser.
The shop notifies me, that the used browser is not supported by the shop...

Oh and the browser is an embedded safari on iOS 12.

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

This is really the stuff I have to deal on daily basis.

New required feature for next laptop purchase;
Escape Key.

>done for the day, packing up with the rest of the team
>juniors went home one hour ahead of us
>just me updating the physical kanban board now
>boss arrives and is on a warpath
>yeets at back-end dev
>"Why are you packing at 7PM?"
>Back-end dev, "Well, the memo came that we can only stick around until 7 PM so."
>Boss, "Don't get me started with the attendance. None of you are leaving until 8 PM!" (checkout time before we had the 7 PM memo)
>Mid-level manager gives the back-end dev some rush work (rush but not really a sprint showstopper) to be done later around midnight.
>He won't be paid for overtime
>He's already angry for getting undercut from his paycheck due to the technicality of the memo.
>decides to stick it out until boss leaves the room
>senior devs snuck out of the office as soon as we got out of sight
>back end dev starts ranting at dinner with the other seniors

Sigh, how many more red flags does he have to see before quitting with me?

Nooooooooo

I think i nailed it!!!

Thank you @dfox and @trogus for the awesome service you've built! And thank you for making my life less stressful! :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

And I guess its only appropriate right now to post last year git activity... so ya here it goes....

As for next year resolution - I hope to finish my personal projects!!!! (I guess like most of us)

Today i was in convenience store and they had this masterpiece: (click to see more photos)

When dev rant is the devil but you're cool with it because the memes are relatable.

(broken_laptop + DIY_guy) ==

Legend says: "He put them back in the case,and they worked!"

Okay.... @Somone ++ @No-one comment... That's strange

Wait, what? Ummm, how does that work??? Recursion???? (First notification)
😂😂

F**king windows 10!!!!! Btw, im new :)

The worst kind of problem you can have while coding is an inconsistent or intermittent bug... For code you didn't originally write...

It's done. My last day at work was last Friday. I'm finally out.

Fuck life... No seriously fuck life...
This shit better end ASAP

FINALLY FINISHED FUCKING FINALS!!!!

FFFF - for short 😃

eh, i call it feature :D

The layout for my little side project was working fine in IE last week. Made some server side additions over the weekend and now the layout is broken... in IE only. Guess who's putting in a user-agent redirect to a "Works best in Chrome or Firefox" page? 😉

Mom, grab the camera!!! I reached 1024 ++ !!!!!

Ye.... I think I need bigger desk......

When your team wants to do daily scrum but there's only four of you and you work for different clients.

right.... I'd be just about ready to turn my back on humanity and go live in a cabin in the woods, far off from civilization. Anyone wanna come?

Yay 😊

Pretty sure "agile" doesn't mean what you think it does.

Moment when you realize that you deleted couple hours long work 😭😭😭

I’ve been at this job 4 months and I feel like I’ve been here long enough to make an accurate opinion of it. From day one I have not felt welcomed. There is no communication within the team.. none of my questions are ever answered.. and when I do ask questions I get snarky answers. I don’t expect my hand to be held, but as someone who is new, I’d like you to give me guidance. Especially since the code is mostly legacy and no one else on the team seems to know anything about anything.

Oh and there are not daily stand ups, project managers, or direction in the tickets themselves.

I guess I should have expected this on the first day when I asked for a SIP or documentation on how to get my environment setup I was practically laughed out of the office and then had the nerve to ask me why it took me the entire day to get 5 environments up and running.. not giving me the custom mappings or the global UDFs.

Today was my last straw.. when I asked a question in three different forms of communication on multiple different channels and was never given an answer.. and then was asked why I did something the way I did instead of doing it the way they wanted me to.

I think the saddest thing is that I felt tricked into this. I was told this position was going to be one way but ended up being something else. I was excited to share my knowledge and best practices to the team. Instead, I’m an outcast and get only be negativity and excuses when I politely bring up suggestions.

I no longer have the will to code here.

Just commited to my repo ; last commit was 6 days ago. I'm happy, finally decided what algorithm i'll use and implemented it !! :)

I just found myself a quite pricy new rubber duck

Welp.... I did it again!!!!!! Tho, this time while backuping rom

Goash, would u guys mind allowing me sleep once in a while !?!?!?!?!?!??!

Power: to steal other people's powers!!!

Its over.
Its finally fucking over.
Ive done it.
Finished my internship and can finally leave this shithole for good!

Debate:
Kotlin with or without semicolon? Why?

GO!!!!

Yay, devrant update!!!!

$category = 'Story';

Holy shit it finally worked I finally got a private server up and running for an old game, after countless forum posts and broken links (note the form isn't that active anymore since 2010)

After finding a working server source you also need a client with the same version

Even though this was a pet project, it feels good to finally complete it. I might even try to build some custom stuff into it

3333 HYPE!!!!!!

Collage...
Scripting class...
Each of us has access to ssh of our own user.......
Idea came up!!!! <bulb>
I opened vim on someone else computer and told them to exit it

I guess we all know how it ended.....

Woow, who designed this shit!??! My eyes are litrely on fire!!!!

Goash, i better should turn a dark mode on

Welp... Here I go...

Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?

I really appreciate the idea of unlocking items for avatars with a raising amount of ++s!

It's an awesomely elegant way to motivate devs without pushing them and keep them in the regular user base of devrant.

Dear sirs @dfox and @trogus.
You done a very fine job :)

(sing this in the "If I were a boy" melody from Beyoncé)

If I had a job,
I think I'd want to support,
this awesome platform we call devRant,
but right now sadly just can't...
[oooh]

If I had a job (again),
I think I would buy CodePeeen (amen),
by buy I mean I would buy plan pro,
but I ain't got no fixed income, no
[I ain't]

If I had no school,
I'd be game dev or web noob,
I would design like in the 90ies,
pink website showing panties, oh yes...
[that'd be cool!]

If I were adult,
I wouldn't laugh at these jokes,
I would know the hard and real life,
and maybe even have a loved wife...
[maybeeee]

AdobeFlex what ?!

Sat here at my desk, facing a wall after my desk being moved whilst I was working from home, counting down the days until I resign.

5 Years here and was ready to leave almost 2 years ago but let them convince me to stay around. Now stuck with a 3 month notice.

Built the same homepage 5 times in as many weeks due to constant changes and ready to throw in the towel.

I'm here until Christmas, then I am going it alone. Just not sure how I am going to make it to Christmas without walking out

I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti

here's one for ya: we devlop, use and sell a crm with extensive project managment, task assignemt and time tracking modules in it.

It is the main income ofbthe company.

Yet somehow we're still required to send an email with status update at the end of the week.

FFS i don't remember what i did on monday and all the 100 micro tasks that jumped in between.

That will take me an hour to gather the info and write an email that software automaticaly sends out everyday to PM anyway. :((

Thanks a lot guys! You are really awesome! :')

I promise (in a non-js way) I will use that stressball and take a lot of care with it.

Thanks to all the 203 cool devs that ++ my rant!!

Hey guys, i was doing some speed benchmarks over gigabit network, so if any1 is interested:

I'll give few static methods/variables theses and I would like if you guys would give me your thoughts (especially low level coders)

Methods:
1. All static methods are good practice as long as they don't use global variables (I think it should use less ram)

2. Same as first but used only by single class

3. Same as first two but used by single line in whole code

Variables:
1. As long as it's const (final)

2. As long as multiple instances needs same value and it's always the same (ex some PC spec)

So, everything that I mentioned isn't horrible practice in my opinion, but still, I try to keep distance from static stuff (aside utils classes)

Omg, sempai noticed me :D

Rant time of 'Derp & Co.'

Today I decided that I am going to find another job, I just can't keep with this shit.

They said that use Agile: FALSE.
• Daily (best scenario) take like 1 hour and a half.
• New task enter the sprint and "Fuck you, more task in the same time". This is something regular done.

• "Oh, dev, we need you to check this other project" I am in the middle of my sprint on this project. "But you have to fix this bug here". (3 fucking days the bloody bug) "You are late again with tasks".

• Meeting for fresh sprint: 6 BLOODY hours... nonstop

The workflow is garbage:
• SOMEONE should did all the devops shit on the first sprint, guess what? They did nothing!, guess now who is being blamed for it (not only me, but a few coworkers).

• Nothing is well designed/defined:
~ task are explained like shit
~ times measured wrongly
~ We are in the last fucking SPRINT and still doing de ER of the DataBase cause Oh, apparently no one has work before with SQL (damn you MongoDB! (Not really)) so I am doing my best, but "jezz dev, this is so hard... maybe we can do it WRONG and easy".
~ No one is capable of take responsability of their mess, they just try to push down the problems. (Remember the devops situatuion? Why is.my fault? I came at the 3 or 4 sprint and I am doing backend tasks, I know nothing about devops).

But the big prize, the last one:
• Apparently you can't send whatever you want to the boss, it has to pass a filter previously of coordinators and managers, hell yeah!

And I am an idiot too!
because I see that we can't reach our schedule and do hours on my spare time!
This is because there are a few good coworkers who probably ended with my unfinished tasks... and they are equaly fucked as me...

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am not a pro, I am not a full stack developer and still need to learn a lot, but this is just not normal, eight months like this...

"Worst "thing" that you kept doing when you started learning programming"

(Ik, it sounds stupid)

Our production database has tables that exist only to be recompiled into a single table. Like, one record across 4 tables. Each record is only for one other record in the other 3 tables.

I LOST 2 HOURS DEBUGGING IT BECAUSE IT COULD NOT RECOMPILE THIS FUCKING TABLE. FUCK!

mini story/contest for ++:
today right before my first lesson some of my classmates were talking bout viruses/antiviruses AND THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO SEEM LIKE THEY ARE GENIOUSES!!!

sooo, one girl said that his friend created a virus and it took 8h(if i remmeber correctly) to find it - it litrely says nothing possitive about any1, nor virus creator, nor those that searcehed for it... all i could think of is negative stuff, tho more info needed to know who sucks the most....

som1 said that it is the best to install several antiviruses.... ye....<no comment>

quoute of one autist "the best antivirus is the one with robot icon" (i think he ment eset nod32) - ye...<no comment ether>
and acctualy same guy said that he "keeps getting viruses" and got SERIOUSLY offended once i told him "why dont u stop visiting porn sites?"

So, why didint I told them the truth? well, the thing is that i dont acctualy want to explane them how antiviruses work nor i know it well enough (i just know general idea)

oh, and u guys have no idea how cringy that whole converstion was for me.. i was bearly holding myself

FUN PART: ill ++ every single one who is going to explane anything that includes stuff that i said above

Oh, that moment when you need to get dam project to compile and after wasting 5 hours on it you finally do it......

GLORIOUS!!!!!

!rant

How do you guys name ur variables?
What does that "m" in front of variable mean? (mVar = true) i have heard that it means:
1. "My" (myVar)
2. It means that its a method variable

Soooo,
Do you guys use it?
Whats the meaning of it?

Thoughts on Xamarin?

So, 30mon ago i had i work offer on really interesting xamarin project and i wanted to hear your guys thoughts on it.

My experience: 1 "AdForms" workshop. In other words - working there would be rough (Employer knows it). I have no problems coding in C# nor android(java).

So, thoughts on xamarin?

for(int i = 1; i <= 365; i++){
Console.WriteLine(i == 365 ? "Happy birthday DevRant" : "devrant birthday in" + (365 -i) +"days.");
Thread.sleep(1000 * 60 *60 * 24);
}

Debate:
Is VS code IDE or robust text editor?

I'm freaking done trying to get Linux on my machine. I've tried every distro with many different versions of the kernel and I always run into the same problem on my desktop.

The computer super stutters for 2 seconds ish than freezes.

I've spent DAYS looking into this issue trying to find something. The worst part is that it can happen 5 minutes when I boot or 5 hours. At first I thought it was Compton. Then I thought I installed arch wrong. Maybe an update to the BIOS? How about downloading updated microcode? Maybe this obscure bug with AMD processors and setting power idle to typical? Nothing. I'm now behind on my school work because of the massive amount of time ive spent getting this fixed. It works just fine on my laptop, but it doesn't work on the machine I built to code with. I'm done. Give me Force Lightning, a red lightsaber, and call me a Sith baby because I'm joining the dark side. Here I come Windows.

For those who are wondering my setup:
Ryzen 7 1700
Rx 480
Asus x-370 prime
16 gb Corsair RAM

And no, Windows has never had this bug.

Has any1 seen site throwing snippet of php? for me its a first time (im not web dev)

Question: how are u supposed to work with this mouse?? My hands arent even that big

Overheard: "We have no time to be agile, we just need to get it done as soon as possible"

I'm so fucking done today.

The VB project I ranted about earlier was apparently just the top of the iceberg of madness that is my workplace.
So the same ninjacoder who managed to code himself as a dependency in the VB project apparently had his greasy little fingers in a bunch of other projects around here.
A script for automating new workstation installs that went haywire last week had traces from this Omnipotent mastermind all over it. He got us this time with static urls and zero errorhandling.
Well played sir.
Getting so done with undocumented projects that I have to dig through several hours just to find and fix.

I would become part of Anonymous and do what hacker has to do.... Hack AIs and build skynet which would be controlled by me 😊

Someone gave me his code and told me to improve it and being the nice guy I am I agreed. Then while trying to work on that, a dozen other people asked me to help them with their code too, so in the end I barely got any work done.

I should stop helping people

Feature request:
I would love if within notifications section-new notifications would have something like different bg color(possibly abit darker?)
Why?
Because those little green/gray thingies are barely visible (arent eye-catching enough)

"Got raped by client"

Staying up till late in the night just to get this message. Finally it's done. :D

I'm getting to the point where every time I encounter a new bug to fix I die a little inside. So tired of stuff not working and as soon as I get one thing fixed another blows up. Unresolved problems and open loops keep me awake all night. I sometimes want to switch careers but what else is there for me after more than 2 decades of this? I guess I could flip burgers and mow lawns. The burger flippers make about what I made in my last job and the guy who mows my lawn makes twice that much.

Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!

Ummm, what!?!?

Feature request: @dfox
I think some voting mechanic would be quite neat. But probably it would be quite difficult to implement it...

Help

Im having problems with my rig:
Gpu video disappears, sometimes posts sometime doesn't(no signal) while gpu is plugged - integrated graphics dosent work

Any ideas?

Well... Its 2:20 and i think its time for me to go to sleep, especially since i started using shortcuts ctrl + alt + L and alt + enter while writing speech for my exam.... I dont think that i wrote anything good but what ya gonna do bout it....

!rant

Oh that wonderful feeling of finishing a month long project. Updating all the comments, refactoring things, testing everything out, closing the 50 chrome tabs you have open...

Life is good

When your code is uglier than homemade sand, but you're done, and you dgaf anymore

Guys, jetbrains ide isint that awesome afterall....
So, one time retarded me was coding an android app, and that retard knew that text shouldn't be hardcoded. So its fine and all... BUT i used string and now i decided to add a spinner and guess what? Now i need to get those values into array...

I know what you guys are thinking: "its ur fault, dont blame jetbrains"
Fucking jetbrains cant undock shit!!!! Well, i guess notepad to the rescue...

!help

So, i bought samsung 850 evo 250gb, and i noticed that performance is lower then it supposed to be (according to userbenchmark and crystal disc mark), drive is pluged into sata 3 port and samsung rapid technology shows up as unavalible. I havent researched this problam yet.

Any of you have idea whats wrong?

Finally!!!! Im doing it!!!

Kinda funny story:
Yesterday i was just flashing my phone when suddenly my main system decided to crash (phone wasint connected to it, heck, i wasint even touching that motherfucker) so guess what? My system turned into bluescreen moster that isint even able to boot. I tryed entering safemode but i had no luck....

So ive reinstalled it... BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT?!?! True key has dual authentification system for which i had to confirm acess from my phone or email to which i had no acess since ive flashed my phone.... And then i had to deal with that bs

OMG i got 777 ++, this is my lucky moment!!!!

Well, it happened. They ripped me off...
They promissed the world and they delivered nothing.
I'm done!
All bets are off. From now on, I am not responsible for my actions.

My boss thinks we're "Agile" because we spend 30 minutes every day talking about what we did, what we're doing and discussing every single imaginable outcome of life.

!rant

You guys have no idea how much it sucks to be me right now:
we got no hot water for some reason
my head is as moist as vagina after me
Its embarrassing to show up with such head
Now I guess ill have to boil water somehow wash it, wish me luck

@LinuxUser0001 made me post it, here is prove of it:

Imagine life as a Game,
Levels are Ages, if you have gotten older your level increases, and lifes getting easier and harder, easier with Knowledge and harder because of Diseases, challenges, kids etc...
Quests are life goals, such as having kids,
having a job, a family etc...
Side-Quests are jobs your getting from your boss, Jobs from Clients, Helping the Family, Cleaning your Room, etc..
Fast-Travel is Cars, Busses, Trains, Trams, etc... (Except in Germany)
and Last but not least,
Procastination, The End Boss of life, if you defeat Procastination you have beaten life... (But also died because the game is Over...)

I woke up today to work more on my project. When I looked at my code, this thought ran through my had "What the hell was I thinking yesterday? I don't even drink!"

They are getting better..

Got a message on LinkedIn from a very beautiful recruiter lady asking me to have a coffee to discuss job possibilities.
She actually had a look at my skills.
- my native language is important
- Technologies and roles are a good fit
- she wrote that they also have an office here in Dublin (I mentioned in my profile that I’ll never take a job back home again)

„They also have a gaming room if you’re into that“..

The probably best message I’ve ever gotten from a recruiter.

If I wouldn’t really like my current job I’d definitely meet up with her..

Hypothetical question.. would it be okay to hit on a recruiter on LinkedIn although you’re not interested in the job?😍

Saturday and a new VSCode Insiders release?

Normally there is no new release on the weekend. Well done Microsoft, except for the fact that I now have the following message in the terminal: "your 131072x1 screen size is bogus. expect trouble" :)

Otherwise, the performance of the current release (code-insiders_1.17.0-1506717283) is way better than the previous one.

Medically prescribed senzu beans.