A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

Changing default branch name from "master" to "main" is just one more entry in the already very long list of "things sane people must do because some retarded american woke up one day and decided to be offended".
I am so fucking tired of the entire world having to accommodate to the first-world-problems of some spoiled brat just because they happen to be american.

over 5 years in "industry" and i still don't feel like i have a fucking clue what im doing

intermediate, senior, etc seem out of reach

I have a friend, he's name is Joe, he's a Tarantula and he's the only web developer I've seen that loves bugs.

😂😂😂

Cross-profession personal attack

"my app was already hacked so now it has natural immunity"

I will tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it xD

Npm be like....

I'm convinced that playing the piano has allowed me to type faster and commit keyboard shortcuts to muscle memory faster too. While coding isn't about typing quickly, there's a whole bunch of times when I've had an idea, and had to get that down into code as quickly as possible before I forget it - and that's when I really find fast keyboard work comes into its own.

May I please have a crumb of ++ ?
Need some ++s to unlock the avatar creator

I feel a bit bad when I reject most people after interviews - they'll do alright, just don't have the knowledge we're looking for.

Other people who fail interviews just piss me off.

If you're applying for a *senior* position, yet you tell me a race hazard is "what happens when concurrent applications are working efficiently", a GET request is "only ever used in a REST API", a POST request is "when you use TCP directly" and you can't write a single line of code in a new project because "in the real world we always just modify what's there already", then please sod right off. There comes a point when you clearly know bugger all, have extensively lied on your CV, and you're just trying to con your way into a position while hoping no-one notices.

Argh.

Versioning is like fart. If you have to force to push it, it's probably shit.

Ref: Reddit

When reviewing code...

Private chat pops up. (- separator for new message)

Hello
- (1 min)
Can you help me?
- (2-3 mins)
Please it's urgeeeent!!!!!
- (1 min)
Come on you're online, I see the green dot.
- (5 mins)
Ok then I won't be able to work. Will write this down in the ticket.

- (15 mins) - new private chat pops up
Hi, we need to talk.
- (3 mins)
Regarding ticket XY, why aren't you responding? It's really urgent.
- (5 mins)
Please notify me as soon as you're available, it's really important!!!

- (20 mins, new private chat opens)
Hi mate, I think the devs are up to mischief. Said you're not reachable, I'll try to poke them with the stun gun.

- (60 mins, message in the official and only endorsed support room)
@all We broke staging, <Me> never responds and <Team mate who tried to use the stun gun> wasn't helpful either.
We really need this now!!!!!!!

- 30 mins later... la me:
@all I was in a meeting with the stakeholders as we had an priority meeting... What was so important that you not only ignored the rule of not messaging privately and even ignored <team mate>s instructions?

- 5 mins later, answer
no need to be so unfriendly.... We broke staging as we had to test stuff out for next week's sprint review [something which is still 3 days away or sth like that]. We really need to take a look in the team at it and for that we must have staging working now!!!!
- (La me)
If you need it urgent now, you didn't plan ahead. And if you didn't plan ahead, you have to wait for others. The sprint review and all other important days are planned ahead for a reason.
- (Silence)

- (20 mins later, private chat, team lead)
Will you finally fix staging now?

- La me
If it could wait 3 hours now and you / your team ignored all netiquette, it can wait till next day, too. We had this discussion more than once, I don't think I need to explain this further.

(Silence)

All in all, the joys of communication...

Now the fun stuff is when this not only happens with 1 team, but many teams....

Having 35 - 40 private chats and chat window looking like a christmas tree thx to the immeasurable amount of notifications and colors... Yay...

Did I mention that I hate the ego some programmers have -.

so true and funny
(i found this on linkedin )

For some reasons my + seems to be stuck on 547🤔

Why would they add a reason for downvoting but no reason for upvoting? Why would they make it harder to dislike something but like something? I mean, why would they? WHY DO THE APPLICATION NEED A REASON SO THAT I COULD DOWNVOTE SOMEONE

WHY

WHY

Jr. Dev: We got an issue in prod.
Sr. dev: Okay, what is the issue?
Jr. dev: Don't know, just got an email.
Sr. dev: Did you check the service?
Jr. dev: Which service?
Sr. dev: What have you debugged so far?
Jr. dev: I explained you the issue and waiting for your inputs.

😑😑😑😑😑

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

Well yeah. He is right!

To all new devs:
- Your language of choice is fine.
- There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
- Your IDE is fine.
- Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Merry Christmas 🎄

;____;

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......