Interview went well until i asked my questions about them.

"Are pet-projects a thing in your company"
... no.

"Can i attend programming gigs in a workweek, and are they paid by the company"
... no, no

"Any restrictions on the IDE"
... yes we only allow visual studio
"Wait, frontend web development in vs?"
... yes

"Do you develop in other languages then JavaScript"
... only Java

I calmly stood up, told them "I dont think that the company and I are a good fit. Thanks for your time."

32, 34, 38, 46, 62, 94 and so on.

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

Thanks google

Creepy AF!

Well okay..

Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS

I have not used a lot of technology, but among the worst experiences was working with OR mapper. I don't think OR mappers are bad by themselves, but all the tutorials and entry level documentation drag the unknowing user slowly into a world of hurt. It looks super easy and super cool, but in fact if you don't know _exactly_ what's happening in the background you're about to deal with slow performance, terrible SQL statements, missing indices, etc. It makes shooting yourself in the foot a Starbucks-like experience, everywhere, all the time, and fast.

It's one of those promises that do not deliver the easy way despite most people advertising it like this. Except when you plan to write a book'n'author application with only 5 books and 3 authors. Yeah...

Source: /r/ProgrammerHumor

When you install a program and you realize just beat a world record.

......

-The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve
-Yes, it was an apple
-But with an extremely limited memory
-Just one byte
-Then everything crashed

When you're not creative enough to make a post that would give you some stickers but you have a 3D printer...

1. Customer wants X.
2. Developer delivers X.
3. Customer wants developer to change X to Y for free.
4. Developer demands money.
5. Customer gets mad.
6. Developer compares situation to ordering a hamburger, consuming it, and demanding a pizza for free because customer didn't like the hamburger.
7. Customer pays

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

My mum said I needed company, so I started one

A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev

try {
♥️
}
catch(e) {
🍺
}

#happyvalentinesday

Worst meeting I've been in?

The one where I was told by my lead and the senior that my new colleagues were having trouble speaking to me because I'm a "strong, independent woman" and that I need to make sure I don't scare them when I approach them.

-_-

Got the first payment from my client! Cheers 🍻

The real random generators!

So I need to create a nice new web app. Let's look at some cool JS frameworks that I can work with.

*5 mins later* Hm, Angular sounds good, is there any good competitor?

*5 mins later* Wow, React sounds awesome as well. Let me learn it.

Google search result:

"Planning to use react? Check out Vue JS first"

*5 mins later* Ok so vue seems faster than React and much easier to learn. Let me see if Vue is the final choice.

Google search result:

"Angular VS Knockout VS Ember VS React VS Mithril VS Mercury VS Ractive VS Vue VS Riot"

Nope, fuck it

This made me laugh! ++ for the official Notepad++ exception dialog 😋 ...
Source: https://plus.google.com/+notepad-pl...

Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

Testing

For a flipping two hours the code wasn't working. Then I saw this single dot instead of comma...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

fsck this

Guess who said he will sleep at 11PM and now he scrolls DevRant at 4AM?

I don't remember how many times I've wanted to do this..

Must have 5yrs experience in a framework that is 4yrs old
-_-\ do you even brain?