Colleague: Hey mister IHateForALiving, I've seen you made two files for a single form
Me: I did that because these two forms have nothing in common. You can have either one or the other and do totally different things, and I splitted them because they are fairly complex, and you may want to add more of this kind in the future.
Colleague: That's not how you should handle the matter, you should have put everything in a single file and handle everything via if else if else

Yeah Helen lucky you for thinking a single file of thousands of lines handled via switch-case is a good idea, must be great living life with the IQ of a rock, please give me a call if you ever decide to stick your head out of your ass just the tiny bit it takes for some oxigen to reach your brain

Sins? I don't want to keep you up all night, so here are some highlights.

Fucking with clients and employers who fuck with me first, or waste my time.

Occasionally not documenting my code (I'm actually pretty good about this), then bitching about poorly documented code.

Honestly wishing other people in the office would *actually* explode, or die engulfed in flames.

Working drunk and/or stoned.

Getting pissed off when I have to do something in a stupid way, or use a workflow that I don't like.

Seriously fucking up out of either arrogance or stupidity, then blaming it on something else.

Zoning out, skipping work, or sleeping in and billing for it (see sin #1).

But my greatest sin? That honor's got to go to becoming a developer in the first place.

I wasn't always a professional asshole, but I fucking am now.

Longtime reader, first time ranter!

I'm just here to complain about how everyone at my company sets "latest" for every dependency.

This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, expect that no one fucking manages their version numbers...everything is still 1.0.X where X is the build number. Even if there have been breaking changes. Even if it's been like 5 years since the repo was created...

Just remembered one day from university
So, I've not been on any programming lectures and labs
Decided to go for one at least
Terrible hangover, late for half of a hour
Grab list of tasks
Fuck, 15 tasks. All very easy, but a lot
Half of a hour later teacher started to check works
- Oh, please, come back to me later, I need another 5 tasks to be done
- What? Did you read header? You were supposed to do two tasks of your choice
- ...

I am currently a high school student. I am currently working in an internship for a local company. Super nice mentors and owner.

Anyhow, I was working on turning sensors data into JSON files which would be later sent to a server through HTML GET requests. I struggled with this for several days. The server received the data but displayed them as 'null'. Mentor came in to help. He changed 'println' to 'print' in the code where the JSON data are compiled. Then the thing works.

Witchcraft, I tell thee.

PS. First post

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

devRant just hit 50,000 downloads on Android (fancy new store badge, yay!). Thank you everyone for being part of this community and spreading the good word! @dfox and I have some fun new features in the works, exciting times!

Today I found this sticker in the Microsoft merchandise shop.
Now I don't know what to do. I find this epic, but I don't really like Windows. 😥

!Rant

So the interns tried to 3d print a rubberduck and it got stuck mid way.

Guess i have a coding duck now
I call her "Detached HEAD state"

That feeling..

Her: Why do you need 3 monitors??
Me: Why do you need 6 bags on the hanger, permanently, and 23 pairs of shoes?
Her: :/

Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

Oh the irony... :')

Good luck finding a dev.

There's a fine line between phishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Wright

Just ordered my rubber duck. It'll be here in 2 to 3 business days...

😌😌😌😌😌😌

devRant: the only social media not blocked at school :D

I've learned that trying to jump into a project without properly understanding everything it will entail is bad.

I recently worked on a project that involved modernizing a legacy system and no one on the team (including me) fully understood how the legacy system worked. This led to us missing a lot of edge cases and attacking the project in a way that really wasn't beneficial overall.

If we had thought about the entire system beforehand and mapped out the legacy system, the project would've turned out much better.

Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.

Beer. When working on a personal project or working from home. Helps me relax, find the problem, and move on

Good old terminal. You know why.

Does coffee counts as a tool ?

As much as i love Ubuntu... This is so true.

Best one...

Story of my life.

So I heard floor memes are cool these days. Here's mine with a bit of twist. Comic Sans, because it's beautiful.

Automatically pressing CTRL + S when filling out anything in a browser.
Why do I do this.

A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

My Toddler son playing cars on the keyboard, simultaneously simulating dumb user input on a website.