The truth, whole truth, and nothing but there truth.

So I installed the JACK audio connection kit on my Linux box, set up drivers, configured routings properly, etc etc.

Tried playing basic sounds. No output. Panic.

Redid configuration, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled JACK, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled drivers and checked ALSA (audio subsystem). All good. Tried again. No output. Panic++

Hit the Mute shortcut on my keyboard to unmute my speakers, tried again. Worked. :facepalm:

I am such an idiot, fml.

"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Once."
"You sure?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
*find references*
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Can you check it?"
"Okay."
*shows code"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."

YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!

Harry speaks Python

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.

Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*

Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*

5 things you need to...
3 ways you can...
Top 10 Reasons to...
These 7 SHOCKING things will...

SHUT THE HELL UP.

The Facebook groups related to programming are full of spamming shitty links. You won't learn from there at all.

My first Linux was OpenSUSE, so I just struggled to not buy one of these

Mom bought me this mousepad... Written in visual basic...
What's worse is that the code has five lines that have been commented out

Because everything should be a managed-service somewhere in the internet.
https://devnull-as-a-service.com

Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"

Me...

You know you are a dev when...

When your shower has more GitHub commits than you

The struggle of a programmer

How do you politely tell someone that constant conversations about progress slow down progress?
Not only do I have to stop for 30mins to explain what things I've changed, but now I have to rant about it on devrant.

00:00: Yeah I'll change that now, it'll only take 5 minutes.

00:05: well that's done, better do this too though before I forget.

02:20: well that escalated quickly.. Better grab 3 hours sleep while I can.

04:00: Fuck.

Best fake virus alert ever.

No Google, this isn't useful to me right now.... Or ever.

Here's my list of NaN reasons why JS doesn't suck

“Can’t you just open up my iPhone right now and check what’s wrong with it??”

My response: “See, you already know what to do! Since it’s so easy, why don’t you just do it yourself?”

I feel that people are quick to blame PHP for a lot of things. But come on, you have to admit it has the most straightforward debugging workflow:

Take a ritual knife out of your desk drawer

Sacrifice some blood to the PHP gods

Clean the knife

Angular or React ?

Are you interested in a devRant hackathon? If so, please let me know what you'd like to see us do/what you would want to get out of it. There's lots of directions we could go, but I want to get as much feedback as we can from the community to try to figure out what would be the most fun and inclusive. Thanks!

@dfox thought I saw you on the road for a second...

So this is where my bus is heading...

Strings 101

When you don't know the WiFi password, then you try "12345678" and it works.

I really feel insecure, when it threatens me!

Speechless 😆