Holy shit, I never thought I would see the day that Microsoft makes me even more disappointed, but this is a NEW low.

The windows 11 email client is being deprecated, and they automatically "upgrade" you to the new outlook.

THERE'S ADS. THERE'S ADVERTISEMENTS IN OUTLOOK. WHAT THE FUCK. IF YOU CLICK THIS, IT JUST OPENS THE AD IN A BROWSER. IT'S IN MY EMAIL LIST, THEY ARE ACTIVELY TRYING TO TRICK YOU INTO CLICKING IT.

This is crappy free Chinese mobile game ad level of scummy. I never fucking thought they would honestly stoop so low as to make misleading ads a default part of their operating system. But here it is, in an app installed by default, developed in-house by Microsoft. Actually astounding and appalling.

Windows: I have updates, please pick an option:
* Update and shut down
* Update and reboot

Me: Ok, update and shut down

Windows: Updates and reboots

Story from my friend who I drank a beer with yesterday:

His manager has balls bigger than elefants.. Hiring a group of anarcho kinda pentest / hacker fucks from a freelance portal from Serbia... Who found quite some shit in their internal systems.

You should think twice about paying them late and especially paying them only half the amount. Even though "they wouldn't sue them anyway".

Sure, they won't.

But take a smart guess what they did.

Fuckin idiot manager.

When you fire a project manager

wtf YouTube

Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.

My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."

Bye then :)

"We need to reduce the scope of the project, guys... What if we don't make tests? They're taking some time do write, so..."

Yep. Let's compromise the quality and call it scope reduction. It will make wonders to our roadmap 👍

Yay, merged 30 pull requests on a Friday.

What could go wrong :D

Chatgpt is very smart!

Project Manager: Hey Gid, we need to start migrating project-A to the new Server.

Me: Okay, I will inform Dev-Q.

Project Manager: Please do and treat as top priority!

Me: Hey Dev-Q, we need to migrate project-A to the new Server and we need to get it done asap.

Dev-Q: But I'm currently working on some critical bug XYZ which PM wants fixed before COB.

Me: I dunno maybe you want to speak with him.

Dev-Q: I was told to...

Project Manager: Yes! we need that done right away.

Dev-Q: What about the critical...

Project Manager: No! treat this as top priority the client just called.

Dev-Q: Okay.

Me: Any update yet?

Dev-Q: Yep but it seems like the database is quite large and the migration may take a while.

Me: Okay take your time.

Dev-Q: {hours later} Pheww done! All files and database migrated successfully.

Project Manager: Good good. So the critical bug XYZ was also completed and migrated to the new server right?

Dev-Q:

Oh holy server. It’s another weekend. 🙏🏼

Engineer: hi whats this meeting for

Employer: unfortunately today we're cutting staff and you've been affected-

Engineer: 🤣😂🤣😂🤣-

Employer: why are you laughing?!

Engineer: no no- sorry it's just-

Employer: it's not funny-

Engineer: you're broke 🤣😂🤣

Employer: what?!

Engineer: that's like so embarrassing for you-

Employer: that's offensive. That's rude

Engineer: no i mean- you should have told- i didn't know you guys were this poor

Employer: we're not poor the market shift is-

Engineer: is really cringe. I mean can we just start a gofundme campaign or something-

Employer: that won't be necessary

Engineer: this just isn't a good look for you- it's giving 😂- it's giving poverty vibes honestly🤣🤣

Employer: that is very offensive-

Engineer: I'm really embarrassed for you. I was doing three people's jobs anyway bye

AWS has identified suspicious activity on my account.

I'm using it for the first time in 2 years. That's the suspicious activity.

Wtf Microsoft...

Found out the hard way that copying a line of code from Teams chat will sometimes convert the spaces into unrecognized ASCII char.

Spent a few hours yesterday to fix the bad chars.
🤡👍

When the interns mess up big time, good orgs support them. 😭💙

Googling "dependency injection"
Google breaks the fourth wall, and 3d moves inside while offering to chase the white rabbit.
I agree and walls fall completely down with appearing linux system terminal.

Did I take drugs? Nope.
Just Google Easter egg for HR purposes.
https://youtube.com/watch/...

StuckOverflow

Me to HR lad: So yea I need you to process my resignation

HR lad to me (*silently whispering on phone*): I’ve resigned too. Good luck.

"Holy shit that was fucking traumatic to look at" you whisper under your breath

That moment you get the satisfaction of deleting 2468 lines of legacy code.

I miss the simplicity and creativity of the good old days..

:D
:)
;)
:/
:(
:o
:P
B)
^^
-.-
>:(
<3

To my ex manager

you left to berlin, and left me to rot

my new lead sucks, i kid you not

it was ok if I slacked off, You used to be chill

But my new lead is uptight, he's on my list to kill

I wanna run errands in work hours, is that so bad?

was doing so for years, now i lost what i had

I cant drive in peace, coz i know he'd call

so i had to cancel plans to go to the mall

its like 10 to 6 is now constant work

I hate my new lead, he is such a jerk

If you ever think of using React Native, don't

Save yourself the trauma of endless build errors and indeterministic side effects

Run for your fucking life and never touch that shit

Achievement unlocked
Killed production database for 40 minutes

Every Windows update be like:

Please reconsider using Edge over _, it has Webkit now!

Please reconsider reenabling Cortana.

Please reconsider using Bing.

Please reconsider reenabling sharing all metrics with us.

I lost my sanity and googled ”FUCK YOU XCODE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”...

That's how I found devRant.

Companies: We can’t find any senior developers to hire.

Also companies: We pay seniors like juniors.

Me: *Killing tickets like there's no tomorrow*

Others: Doing nothing.

Manager: Well, since you are closing tickets here are some from your coworkers.

Please do rename the "master" branch to "Führer". The umlaut will probably catch a bunch of applications that aren't UTF-8 ready.

shutdown -h now

This meme kinda motivated me...