I finally stopped being lazy and wrote 31 unit tests for my Discord bot.

Nothing is more satisfying than seeing them all pass and the GitHub workflow working without any problems. :)

Sales manager: Hi all, we are launching a new internal hackathon. Form up a team with the right expertise to help with address the problem statement and get going!

Me: what’s the problem statement?

Sales manager: you have to sign up first. There’s proprietary company info with our plans for next year involved. You have to agree to terms and conditions before continuing. Legal say so.

Me:

*signs up*,
*fills in docU-sign*,
*clicks through 3 other screens*

Ok let’s see this problem statement.

“What new and magical customer experience can you create and launch to win in our markets”

... that’s not a fucking problem statement ... and why the fuck does that require filling out a docu-sign form to see?

I REALLY fucking hate legal / sales people. Wasting everyone’s time.

Dude, FUCK automated bathrooms.

First of all, what the hell is so complicated about making a motion sensing faucet that works? Why does it *need* to be motion sensing? I stand there for 5-10 seconds with my stupid soapy hands extended, waiting for a squirt of the divine liquid.

And then the immediately following experience isn't much better. Motion sensing paper towel dispenser. The first go works fine, but it always dispenses half of what you need to get your grimy paws dry. So you go in for seconds, and it just flat out ignores you. Leaves you on read. You flap your pathetic noodle arms at it again. It isn't happening. Please wait 3-5 business days.

Oh, and god forbid you forget to cover the automatic toilet with a few wasted squares. Lean into a shit ONCE and you've just been prematurely flushed. Your ass is misted with the cold, unforgiving equivalent of an automatic insult.

Asshole design

Just accepted a new position with a raise!

Feels good.

Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.

Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.

There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.

Ken Thompson. Zero ambition but incredible achievements. Bottom up programmer, no bullshit, and a great sense of humor.

Ada Lovelace. The first programmer, long before modern computers were a thing.

color A
tree

http 500 internal server error

Long time ago this started the whole dive into programming...
Didn't know Dad still had it...

Accidentally hugged my boss. It's fine, I can't have more than 100 years left to carry this memory around anyways.

Some people really need to understand that devRant is not Facebook.. Smh

Whenever i cant fix my code

I touch her

The guard at our school thinks I'm hacking

My parents thinks I'm hacking

My teacher thinks I'm hacking

But all I did was only build Redis from source...

Bruh

Why in the goddamn fucking world do I not fucking commit the fucking code every time there is a motherfucking major change

I hear my intern yelling at Cortana in the other room. "Cortana, open keyboard!". He repeats this 5+ times. Issue is there is no keyboard connected so he just wants to use the on screen keyboard, and thinks Cortana will open it for him. Issue is the computer isn't hooked up to the Internet, and Cortana does not do that command without the internet.

Just grab a fucking keyboard!!!

Living my best life, not too far from my computer, in the shade, with coffee 😁✌️hope you're all having a great day

Me,: we devs need silence to be able to focus properly, and to develop good quality software.

Marketing guy: we need to hang a frame on the wall.

Other marketing guy: yeah, let's grab the drill and make several holes, fuck those devs.

Damn, mozart, i am trying to install it for the whole day, and now when i am able to finally install it, i dont know how to compile and run a piece of code in it. Why does anyone create such a language that works majorly on emacs, and also has no well enough documentation how to work with it, if by fluke someone installed it.

I use a stand on of of my laptops, so the thing is normally inclined.

Today i just decided to lay it flad and noticed a strange purring sound coming from one of the fans.

I just thought it was funny since I don't recall of a time in which the laptop was not flat

My girlfriend is amazing:

After a long uphill battle trying to finish a huge open source project I started months ago. She noticed I was getting a little deflated.
So she donated a small amount to the donation page to lift my spirits.
She wanted to do it secretly but didn't know that it wasnt anonymous.

The little things spur us on.

In response to:
https://devrant.com/rants/2149067/...
I took your advice.
She said yes 😁

That bug I never fixed.

My company seems to never have the money to do something right but always have the money to do it twice.

A database fetch. All rows at once. Not that many rows, maybe 50.

But oh boy when someone forgot that the repository is wired to magically inject SQL that joins other tables and does ineffective loops to create thousands of objects in the background.

Been fun finding memory hogs in the codebase.

I like how in one rant I'll read about someone who's tired of not reading any actual rants (The "Reee idk how to use the filters" people) and in the next someone's complaining about the the number of rants concerning XYZ (For example, PHP, JS, Semicolons)

You're just crusty bastards! There's no pleasing everyone

Anyone use the coffee machine as a distraction when bored and between projects ?
Just trying out the different varieties... We have this weird "Espressochock" that's basically hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, shit is weird...

thought break up was hard,i guess your internet didn't fail while coding online on a crappy site which doesn't auto save.

On a shitty day where your brain doesn't work, have you ever looked at some code you wrote, and actually get intimidated by whatever version of you wrote that? After stumbling around most of the day, read some beautiful code, I admired it, then realized, holy shit, I wrote this?

"Yeah, I don't know who that was, it looks great, how the fuck did I do that, and will I ever be able to do it again"

Like, I don't think I can, definitely not today, write anything even close to that.

bleh.

Programming

Easier today than in 2009?
We're got all these tools and shit.. frameworks...

Yeah, which just makes you over ambitious, as the weekend project turns into 6 months despite itself.

I say no.