Details
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AboutI make business apps for business people.
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SkillsRuby, Java, etc
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LocationEarth
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 12/9/2019
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Node modules saved me today....
I did
$ rm -rf *
accidentally.
And then while it was deleting node modules i cancelled it and saved my work.8 -
Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.
May I never go back into the office again.
#thoughtsandprayers4 -
Why in the name of Donald Knuth did you think it was a good idea to have a 1500 line Java Method? What THE HELL WERE YOU SMOKING THE ENTIRE FILE IS OVER 3000 LINES AND HALF OF THEM ARE COMMENTED OUT!
Don't even get me started on your "unit tests" which is a massive 5000 line behemoth that randomly has massive swaths of code commented out.
And of course no solution like this would be complete with you HARD CODING EVERY F****INIG STRING IN EVERY TIME!
And it's not like you don't know how to use classes as you have several of them, every single one of which is over 500+ lines and consists of only getters and setters. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A MAP! REALLY WHY WOULD YOU USE 500 LINES FOR A CLASS THAT IS JUST GETTERS AND SETTERS?!
The part that really burns me about all of this though, isn't the fact that you sent it to me when I was running into a similar issue, and said "check this out it should help", what bothers me most isn't the indescribable rage I felt looking at your code, the part that really really really bothers me is that you are a veteran with over 15 years in Java development, and according to the org chart are a lead senior engineer getting paid substantially more than me, whereas I am considered a lowly mid-level developer, who isn't worth promoting to your level.
On the plus side you are now going to be featured on theDailyWTF so congrats on the notoriety.8 -
Licensing is so freaking weird and stupid.
I mean, I just forked this repo with an Apache license, so I could update a .json file.
"You must cause any modified files to carry prominent notices stating that You changed the files"
Plain JSON allows no comments.
I'm going to jail.30 -
Someone, I have no idea who, commented on my personal project that he wanted to pick up one of the issues.
Then, he followed through and fixed it and sent a PR.
Feels good man.4 -
Cool, I found a bug in Ruby!
And it’s preventing my debugging from working!
Asjfkladfsj
It’s 2:30am and I want to finish this crap.
No, I’m not doing any work tomorrow. I’m taking the day off to sleep.15 -
Junior dev at my workplace keeps telling me how efficient docker is.
He decided to solve his latest task with a containers in swarm mode.
As expected, things went sideways, and I had the joy of cleaning up behind him.
A couple of days later, I noticed that I was running low on disk space - odd.
Turns out docker was eating up some 60 GB with a bunch dangling images - efficient is a funny term for this.17 -
What happened to the warm welcome that new users received back in the day? Now when someone posts their first rant people bash on details and give them no chance. I remember posting half-dumb rants, but no one gave me shit for that. It takes time to grow into a community, you can't just expect people to behave identically to the rest. Makes me a bit disappointed to be fair.9
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Code review:
- Almond: This method here is a mix of convoluted loops conditionals and ternaries... I really don't think we can pass this. Can we make sure this logic is a lot clearer?
- Bob: Oh, ok, sure. I'll work on that.
Next day:
- Bob: I've hopefully cleared up the meaning of that code now.
- Almond: Sure, let me look. Err... it looks the same to me? Have you done it in another branch?
- Bob: Oh no, it is the same, but there's a link in the code now to a PNG of a flowchart I put together in draw.io to show how it works.
...🤦♂️16 -
Clickbait will never change.
It's the most stable and constant source of mild annoyance.
2019 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will net you the highest salary"
"Ten home improvement tips using nothing but recycled underwear"
"How to cut onions like a real chef"
2020 internet:
"3 programming languages to learn while being bored in self-quarantine"
"Ten ways to use underwear as facemasks during the pandemic"
"Onions might cure corona, click here to learn how to cut them"
2030 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will increase your chances of survival in the wastelands"
"Ten ways to patch up your shelter against radioactive ashes using old underpants"
"Hydroponic onions are a good source of nutrients. Here's how you cut them with your camping knife"13 -
Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?
Me: You mean op top of the navigation?
Designer: Yeah.
Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.
Designer: Cool, let me know when done!
Me: ....
Me: I am done.
Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.
Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.13 -
Frontend & backend dev conversation
Backend Dev: what will you be working on?
Frontend dev: i will be creating a nice animated loader. You?
Backend Dev: i will be working on optimizing the backend so that no one can see your loader.
🤣🤣🤣🤣7 -
It's maddening how few people working with the internet don't know anything about the protocols that make it work. Web work, especially, I spend far too much time explaining how status codes, methods, content-types etc work, how they're used and basic fundamental shit about how to do the job of someone building internet applications and consumable services.
The following has played out at more than one company:
App: "Hey api, I need some data"
API: "200 (plain text response message, content-type application/json, 'internal server error')"
App: *blows the fuck up
*msg service team*
Me: "Getting a 200 with a plaintext response containing an internal server exception"
Team: "Yeah, what's the problem?"
Me: "...200 means success, the message suggests 500. Either way, it should be one of the error codes. We use the status code to determine how the application processes the request. What do the logs say?"
Team: "Log says that the user wasn't signed in. Can you not read the response message and make a decision?"
Me: "That status for that is 401. And no, that would require us to know every message you have verbatim, in this case, it doesn't even deserialize and causes an exception because it's not actually json."
Team: "Why 401?"
Me: "It's the code for unauthorized. It tells us to redirect the user to the sign in experience"
Team: "We can't authorize until the user signs in"
Me: *angermatopoeia* "Just, trust me. If a user isn't logged in, return 401, if they don't have permissions you send 403"
Team: *googles SO* "Internet says we can use 500"
Me: "That's server error, it says something blew up with an unhandled exception on your end. You've already established it was an auth issue in the logs."
Team: "But there's an error, why doesn't that work?"
Me: "It's generic. It's like me messaging you and saying, "your service is broken". It doesn't give us any insight into what went wrong or *how* we should attempt to troubleshoot the error or where it occurred. You already know what's wrong, so just tell me with the status code."
Team: "But it's ok, right, 500? It's an error?"
Me: "It puts all the troubleshooting responsibility on your consumer to investigate the error at every level. A precise error code could potentially prevent us from bothering you at all."
Team: "How so?"
Me: "Send 401, we know that it's a login issue, 403, something is wrong with the request, 404 we're hitting an endpoint that doesn't exist, 503 we know that the service can't be reached for some reason, 504 means the service exists, but timed out at the gateway or service. In the worst case we're able to triage who needs to be involved to solve the issue, make sense?"
Team: "Oh, sounds cool, so how do we do that?"
Me: "That's down to your technology, your team will need to implement it. Most frameworks handle it out of the box for many cases."
Team: "Ah, ok. We'll send a 500, that sound easiest"
Me: *..l.. -__- ..l..* "Ok, let's get into the other 5 problems with this situation..."
Moral of the story: If this is you: learn the protocol you're utilizing, provide metadata, and stop treating your customers like shit.22 -
Continued…
The company that I’m working for has done lots of subtle racist things surrounding diversity policy. There was a major blowout between execs and suddenly all went quiet. The guy that was hired against my recommendation was gone. Until early January when he showed up at our building to raid our kitchen. WTF. It turns out HR decided to move him to the other office and out of sight so my team wouldn’t see him. He isn’t working on a project and is getting paid on the bench for more than the 100% billable devs.
After I saw him bumming around, I replied to a recruiter that has been trying to recruit me to their company.
The position pays 25% more 😲 and comes with a an amazingly relaxed development environment. Developer time is managed and allocated by someone in a dedicated role. 80% of the time is sprint work and the rest is self-driven projects or learning. Teams are stable, mostly local, and there is very low turnover. Developers get Mac or Linux computers.
I’m doing an executive meet and greet at the other company tomorrow. They will be the ones that will make me the final offer. I feel pretty good about it too because they will let me sign up to start in a month and a half so I can give a long notice, work until the end, and my current company can hire me back as a consultant in a pinch. It softens the blow for my current company and it makes it easy for me.
Worst case scenario I don’t take the position but use it for leverage. Who am I kidding? I’ll definitely jump ship when negotiation is done tomorrow.
https://devrant.com/rants/2338969/...7 -
I want Gordon Ramsey to start a IT program in the same fashion as Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmares
He'll sit at a desk with a laptop, examining code as if he's eating food, venting frustrations and screaming insults out loud
Then he'll have a talk with the team and see how they work on a day
After that he'll go into the freezer (server room) and scream at mold and cockroaches
Then comes the intervention where we discover that the PM is still grieving about the death of his original programming language and the team loves him but thinks he should move on
The next day the development studio is modernised and has a candy bar, tennis table and everyone is forced to use linux on their new macbooks
Then we experience a good day where everything is great and velocity is through the roof
Then Gordon leaves and everything is shit again17 -
So I cracked prime factorization. For real.
I can factor a 1024 bit product in 11hours on an i3.
No GPU acceleration, no massive memory overhead. Probably a lot faster with parallel computation on a better cpu, or even on a gpu.
4096 bits in 97-98 hours.
Verifiable. Not shitting you. My hearts beating out of my fucking chest. Maybe it was an act of god, I don't know, but it works.
What should I do with it?241